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Tag Archives: Walmart

Why Walmart is no longer dead to me (and FedEx now is)

Gather ’round, children, because it is STORYTIME! Do you have your blankies and your snacks?

SIDE NOTE: once, during storytime at the library, the girls were all braiding each other’s hair, and I had such long pretty hair then, and when it was my turn to get my hair braided (and it was a FRENCH BRAID, which my mom couldn’t do) the librarian was all “STOP THAT AND PAY ATTENTION” so I never got my French braid and I was so, so sad.

It is The Nephew’s birthday on Monday, and he is four. I know. That’s a very prestigious age. On Sunday, we are having his fourth birthday party at his other aunt’s house. It is a pool party and there will be many adorable kiddos running around being cheerful and all hopped-up on cake and such. I haven’t seen him since February so I’m looking forward to seeing him. He grows quickly, that little guy. He’s all legs. He’s going to be a tall one.

So Mom’s coming up Saturday afternoon, spending the night and we’re having all the adventures, and then Sunday we’ll go to the party and then she’ll head home.

Now, the question was: what do we get for an almost-four-year-old we love more than anything in the world?

Mom spoke to The Nephew’s mom (K.) and K. said that he wanted an iPad. Well, he’s only four. I don’t even have an iPad. And I was worried that maybe that’s too much of a thing for a kiddo. I knew that sj got LeapPads for her kids for Christmas, and they love them and use them all the time, and they’re LIKE iPads, only for adorable kiddos…so I said, hey, Mom? Ask K. what her thoughts are about LeapPads. She did, and K. researched them and said, “Yes! LeapPads are a VERY good idea!”

So I researched the best deal I could find for a LeapPad and various accessories and the best deal was from Walmart.

Now, I’m boycotting Walmart, because many Christmases ago, I went shopping there (and it was stupidly crowded, as it is) and I was trying to get something off a very high shelf and had to ask for help and the employee was SO RUDE to me. And that was the straw that broke this particular camel’s back, because every time I went there, I had some sort of issue. Rudeness or price problems or people shopping there being weird or things not being on the shelf or hearing about their practices with employees…so I decided, nope. No more. I have randomly bought things from them online, when I didn’t have another choice and that’s the only place a thing was sold (you know I love to win gifting) and if I was in a place where Walmart was the only shopping option, well, of course I had to shop there.  A person can’t go without deodorant or jerky. But otherwise, it’s Target or Kmart for me.

(Also, Dad worked there for a brief period of time when it first came to his town and then he quit, but he likes to say “WALMART FIRED ME! Those bastards” and he also hates to go there more than he has to, so he’s down with my Walmart boycott.)

But I like to win birthdays, especially for The Nephew…and I like to save money…and Mom and I were splitting the cost of the LeapPad…so I bought it from Walmart. It came with a green rubbery skin thingy and a recharger and an adapter so all I’d have to buy was a pair of earbuds and some rechargable batteries and WE WOULD WIN BIRTHDAYS. (Mom also bought him a bunch of other things, like clothes and toys, but you can hardly blame her. He’s her only grandchild.)

I ordered on a Monday. Walmart said it would arrive a week later. I kicked back and lived life. At the end of the week, I got a package with the charger and the adapter and the recharger. “Huh,” I thought. “That came early. Where’s the LeapPad?” So I went online to check it out.

According to the site, the LeapPad had been delivered to my front door days ago. Funny, because I never got it.

I called FedEx, a touch panicky, and explained the situation. “It’s been delivered,” said FedEx, very helpfully.

“No, it really hasn’t. And I’ve been here for years and no one’s ever stolen a package from my front door. Plus my neighbor sits in his front doorway all day long and watches everything that happens and when I get home and I’ve gotten a package, he says, ‘you have a package!’ as if I’m blind so I think he’d notice if someone nefariously stole my package.”

“Well, we can open a case about this. It’ll take a few weeks.”

“Um. My nephew’s birthday is a week from Sunday. Can…anything we can do to speed that up?”

“Well, ma’am, since it’s been delivered, you’re lucky we’re opening a case, honestly.”

I managed not to scream “IT WASN’T DELIVERED AS I’M NOT HOLDING IT IN MY HAND!” and wrote down the case number.

On Monday, I called them again. They still knew nothing. They did, strangely, ask me what color my building was. When I told them red and cream, they asked “Are you sure?” Um. Pretty sure?

I asked them what, exactly, they recommended I do about this. “Maybe call Walmart? I don’t know,” said the very helpful FedEx lady.

Listen, this wasn’t Walmart’s fault. I wasn’t even sure it was FedEx’s fault. It was either delivered and stolen, or misdelivered (that happens here a lot), or not delivered at all. But I love my nephew, and LeapPads are expensive. I really didn’t want to have to buy another one. And I couldn’t ask Mom to halfway-reimburse me for ANOTHER one. It wasn’t HER fault.

So I emailed Walmart. I explained the whole situation. I poured on the pathos. I mentioned The Nephew. I mentioned he was the best. I mentioned he was four. I mentioned I like to win birthdays.

They sent back a form letter explaining how much their delivery options cost. Sigh, I thought. Of course they did.

But at the bottom, it said “if this doesn’t answer your question, respond to this email and explain your problem again.”

So I rewrote the whole thing. Crossed my fingers.

Not five minutes later, I got an email back.

“It sounds like your package was lost after delivery. We’ll start another order for you at no cost to you.”

Whaaaa? Lost after delivery? They accepted that was a thing? THEY WERE RESENDING THE PACKAGE?

I emailed back. Thanking them. PROFUSELY. I said I only needed the LeapPad, not the accessories; I’d received those. And I asked if I could pick it up in the store, since it was now less than a week until the party. And I thanked them. Again. And wondered amazedly over their customer service.

I got an email back, stating they’d expedited shipping and I’d get it in no more than two days. APOLOGIZING FOR THE INCONVENIENCE. What? WHAT? Holy crap. Asking if, somehow, I ever received the original package, to send it back to them at their expense; I could print a return shipping label from their site. And? AND?

“Please wish your nephew a very happy birthday from all of us here at Walmart.”

Hear that sound? It’s the sound of my self-imposed Walmart boycott slipping away.

We do not live in a very customer-service-oriented society. And when a business goes out of their way to help someone who needs it – I am loyal to that business. My garage treats me like a human being, not a stupid girl; I will never, ever, in a million years, get my car worked on anywhere else. My hairdresser is the coolest, funniest person, and a single mom struggling to make ends meet, and works around my schedule to get me in; I’ve followed her to three salons and would follow her to a dozen more. Walmart just sent me a product that FedEx lost (or was stolen) at their own expense, when they didn’t have to. And put a personal touch on it. It might be their policy, but it’s a damn fine one.

I will no longer boycott Walmart.

And? AND? When I got home from work Wednesday, I had a message from FedEx. I was trying to find a way to embed it here, but it had my real name and address on it and that’s how you get stabmurdered, so I stopped trying to do that.

Here’s the message, paraphrased:

“Hi, Amy. This is FedEx. We’ve investigated your case, and found out what happened to your package. The deliveryperson brought it to your home, but was unable to find you. He then gave it to someone he assumed to be a maintenance person in the parking lot, who said you no longer lived there, but he would take care of the package for you. So…that’s really all we can do about that. We suggest you contact Walmart and see if they can help. Thank you for using FedEx.”

OMG FEDEX WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL.

You gave my nephew’s LeapPad to a random person in my parking lot who may or may not have been a maintenance person? Is this your policy? To just give packages to strangers? Did you even TRY to find my home? Because a couple days later, you found it just fine and delivered the other package there! WHO DID YOU GIVE MY PACKAGE TO? And did it strike you as odd that the person said they’d “take care of it?” And how did that person know I no longer lived there? Did I move out in the few days between ordering the package and getting it delivered? AND, why did you write on the website you’d delivered it to my front door when that’s a flat-out lie? And WHY ARE YOU TAKING NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS, as if this is a thing that just HAPPENS sometimes?

I listened to this message three times to be sure I wasn’t misunderstanding it. Dad is FURIOUS about this. Mom just doesn’t understand how this could happen.

Dear FedEx: you can be assured that, if I’m even given the option of shipping, I will not be choosing you. It’ll be UPS or the post office from now on. That’s what crappy customer service and giving The Nephew’s LeapPad to randoms in my parking lot will get you.

In happier news, I got the new LeapPad Wednesday after work; it was waiting for me, all shiny and packaged and wonderful. Mom and I will win birthdays and The Nephew will be happy with his new technology and all will be well in birthday-land.

So, in summation:

  • Birthday: won.
  • Walmart: customer service win.
  • FedEx: WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL.

Happy Friday, people of the blog. I hope your weekends are good and randoms in your parking lots don’t steal your LeapPads.

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A good place to be lonely is the Walmart. Also, the turning down of awards!

In your world it is Thursday. Here, it is Monday. I had every intention to go to work this morning. However, I could not sleep last night. Not even a little. After tossing and turning and coughing up a lung (maybe both lungs) for a few hours, I finally fell asleep, but when the alarm went off, there was no way I could go to work today, because I was stumbling around like a zombie person and I couldn’t open my eyes and I was coughing and coughing and just wanted more sleep. MORE SLEEP. I was like a junkie and the only thing I needed? SLEEP. So I called off from work and went back to bed. And promptly slept for – ready for this? FIVE MORE HOURS. Yes. In total, I slept for about 11 hours last night/today. That is too much sleep. Or maybe just enough, I don’t know. I am attempting, today, to stay awake, in the hope that tonight I will be SO TIRED I can sleep normal hours and go to work tomorrow. I can’t miss MORE work due to a cold. This is ridiculous.

Also, I was supposed to see The Nephew tonight, and because I love him, I decided to cancel that. He doesn’t need my germs. It makes me sad, though. You know I love to hang out with my best little buddy more than almost anything.

So today Dumbcat and I are hanging on the couch watching bad television. I am trying to stay awake. He is not even trying. He’s been asleep all day long. Dammit, Dumbcat, way to be a good companion.

Today I have to mention that I have been nominated for THREE awards and isn’t that fancy? Yes, it is! Well, twice for the same award, but twice is twice, right? Right.

Most of you know my stance on awards. I find it very nice to be nominated, but I can’t accept them. Why can’t I accept them? Because they make you nominate a number of other blogs. And if you nominate other blogs, then you’re leaving some blogs out, and feelings get hurt. And I hate to hurt feelings. I hate to hurt feelings more than I hate to clean the litterbox, and that’s a lot, yo. So, as always, I am very thankful for the awards, and for thinking of me; it is most kind, and most appreciated.

So, the first award I have been nominated for is the Versatile Blogger Award. I feel like I’ve gotten this one before, right? I could go back and look but, well, sick. And kind of lazy. Sorry, world.

First I was nominated by meANXIETYme. Thank you!

Then I was nominated by Kat at Kat’s Den. And thank YOU!

Then I was nominated for the Very Inspiring Blogger award by Andrea at When in New Places. Also, thanks to YOU!

I am supposed to state seven things about myself and then nominate fifteen blogs. Well, I refuse to nominate anyone, as is my wont, and therefore I CANNOT ACCEPT THE AWARDS. Mostly because these things seem like a pyramid scheme, you see. I don’t like pyramids. All triangular like that. Sticking up out of the sand. Being all pointy.

SHADY!

SHADY!

I don’t know if there are seven things about myself you don’t already know, other than the things I’m not going to tell you because they’re mine. Oh, shush, we all get a few things that are ours. You can’t even tell me that you don’t keep some things just for yourself. So instead, here, I will tell you my top seven favorite cities in all the world that I have actually been in with my whole body. Yes, my whole body! Not just my toe.

  1. New York, NY
  2. Rome, Italy
  3. Albany, NY
  4. Sedona, AZ
  5. Santa Barbara, CA
  6. Rouen, France
  7. Baltimore, MD
New York wins! You are not at all surprised by this, are you? Didn't think so.

New York wins! You are not at all surprised by this, are you? Didn’t think so.

There you go. It’s LIKE seven things you didn’t know about me, only in NUMERICAL ORDER. (The top two haven’t changed since 1995. I’m pretty damn predictable.) Do I win going places? Yes. Also, I think it’s a sign I’m in the right place, life-wise, that where I live is in the top three. Because that means there are two places that are like dream vacation spots, but then coming home is in the top three. That’s good, I think.

So, in summation: thank you for the awards, ladies. I am honored and humbled, even though I can’t accept; the fact that I can’t accept is not at all your fault and completely mine. I so appreciate the thought, and give you many internet smooches for the gifting.

Before we go, let’s talk about a super-classy thing that happened here lately. And when I say super-classy, I mean like BEYOND classy. It makes me so proud I can’t even. CAN. NOT. EVEN.

(Props to sj for finding me that most excellent pie chart.)

So, Queensbury is about an hour from me. And in Queensbury, there is a Walmart. I mean, of course there is. Where is there not a Walmart? There’s probably a Walmart in Antarctica for all I know. (In that Walmart they would probably sell a lot of mittens.)

Apparently, you can get more than beef jerky and large boxes of Cheese Nips at the Queensbury Walmart.

Someone called the po-po and said, “You guys? There’s a Walmart employee doin’ the nasty back in the corner of the housewares section.”

Because nothing says "illicit sex" like a ton of flair on a blue vest.

Because nothing says “illicit sex” like a ton of flair on a blue vest.

So I guess one of the Walmart customers offered the employee some cash under the table if he…um…did a naked price-check for him in a corner? And the employee did? And then someone shopping for a new toaster was totally scandalized and was all “OMG MY EYES MY EYESSSSS” and called the cops and to jail the Walmart employee went, hopefully before someone had to call for a cleanup in aisle three.

I don’t know who to feel more pity for in this scenario, honestly. The employee, who is obviously making so little money that he had to take some (probably icky, let’s be honest) customer up on his offer of a quickie BJ in a corner? The customer who, for who-knows-what-reason decided to solicit a most-likely minimum-wage employee for sex at a Walmart? The customer who was going about his or her business and stumbled upon oral pleasure by the dishtowels?

Oh, Queensbury. This isn’t very regal behavior at all. Shame, shame. See, this is why I shop at Target. The most scandalous thing I’ve seen at Target recently is a price-check on some shampoo that was irregularly priced and a customer who was SO PISSED about that.

OK. I’m attempting to go to sleep at like 9pm tonight. Hopefully, by the time you read this, I am healthy and happy. Wise, I don’t know. I think that’s a lot to ask, to be honest. I’ll stick with healthy and happy for now.


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