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Tag Archives: October

Counting all the (southern-fried) chickens

So, remember how a bit ago, ’round these here parts we were all “there are chickens, and the chickens cannot yet be counted, but the chickens can be counted SOON, maybe, if all goes according to plan, but, you know how to make God laugh, and that’s make a plan, so SHUSH, no counting of those chickens?” Well, maybe it wasn’t phrased exactly like that, but close. Who can remember, that was like two weeks ago, or something.

WELL. It is a MOST prestigious day. We can TOTALLY count the chickens today, people.

SEVEN! (Wait, is this a trick question?)

SEVEN! (Wait, is this a trick question?)

For a while now, it has been in the planning stages to make a VERY exciting trip in a southerly direction to visit someone near and dear to our hearts. Well, MY heart, anyway. If this person isn’t near and dear to YOUR heart, poo. POO, I SAY, ON YOU!

But life got in the way, and other trips and such, and when you just started your job, you can’t be all “Imma take like all the time off, yo, too bad if you guys wanted that week,” like, ALL the time, because that’s like frowned upon, or whatever. Also, sorry, but I’m not heading anywhere southerly of here in the summer. It’s hot enough here as it is. The only place I’m heading in the summer is up up up. Because otherwise I will probably combust.

So. Now we’re in the autumn season. (Well, technically we’re not, but as soon as September 1 hits, I call autumn, and too bad, calendar. Also, someone needs to tell the weather it’s autumn. It’s been in the 80s and 90s here with insane humidity for three days, and I’m EXHAUSTED. I am SPENT. AND, TODAY, it rained like it was the end of the world, and I got so wet it was like I bathed in my clothes, and I had to work the second half of the day dripping onto the carpet. Don’t even ask “where was your umbrella.” I HAD ONE. THE RAIN CAME AROUND IT.)

I found this on the Book of Faces. This was taken a couple of blocks from where I was on my lunch break today. WHAT THE HELL. Do I live in a rainforest? NO I DO NOT.

I found this on the Book of Faces. This was taken a couple of blocks from where I was on my lunch break today. WHAT THE HELL. Do I live in a rainforest? NO I DO NOT.

Am I off on a tangent again? Seems that way.

SO. As it is now the autumn of my discontent, I am free to head southerly. Like a Canadian goose.

HEADIN' ON SOUTH, YO!

HEADIN’ ON SOUTH, YO!

I said, “dearest Boss, can I have three extra days off for Columbus Day?” and Boss said, “Yep” and I said “YOU ARE THE BEST, YO! THANK YOU!” because I am very professional in work emails and always use etiquette like not using all-caps or slang. Luckily, she likes me and is ok with me expressing myself expressively. (Can you imagine if I’d done that at the last place? I’m pretty sure I’d have been caned in the backyard. Not in a sexy funtimes way, either.)

So, with that in mind, I checked out my options.

Flights? No. SUPER-EXPENSIVE. Four-hour round-trip flight, $400. So $50 an hour. That’s a lot of money. And also, although it was the quickest option, planes aren’t my fave. Like, they’re fine, if you HAVE to take one. But otherwise, avoid them. Because a., I always catch the flu after being on a plane, and b., motherfucking snakes. (Also crashes and terrorists and I’m afraid of that show with the thing on the wing and also, you saw Lost, right? I’d never survive on that island, never.)

ZOMG THE PLANE IN TWO PLACES, YOU GUYS!

ZOMG THE PLANE IN TWO PLACES, YOU GUYS!

Driving? Well, the drive was 9 hours. And my car is OK, but 9 hours is a lot, and I really don’t want to put THAT many miles on it. Plus I get crabby driving home to visit my parents. And that’s 3.5 hours away. Also gas is EXPENSIVE, you guys. And if I don’t put the middle-grade gas in my car, lately the engine light’s been going on? It’s a weird thing, I don’t know. I think it’s messing with me. My car’s a smart-ass.

The bus? Ha. Who are we kidding, I didn’t even research that shit. The bus is dead to me ever since it lost my luggage in grad school.

So. Amtrak. Whatcha got for me? What’s that? $160 round-trip, only a brief layover in New York City (oh, twist my arm, make me stop in my favorite city of ALL TIME), then a straight shot to where I’m going? Free wifi? Comfy seats? I can blog/read/etc. while the engineer takes care of everything for me?

Amtrak for the win, you guys.

(Plus I always feel like a fancy lady when I’m on a train. Like an olden-days fancy lady.)

So I had to wait til I got paid because I did some egregious spending with my last paycheck like PAYING THE RENT and BUYING GROCERIES. I know most people have credit cards, shush, I do not have such things.

But. TODAY. (Well, yesterday for you, since I AM WRITING TO YOU FROM THE PAST.) Today, I went online and BAM. Prices went up (of course they did, dammit) but not THAT much.

So…without further ado…

…over Columbus Day weekend, when we celebrate the FOUNDING of MERKA except it was ALREADY FOUNDED…

…I will be going to…

VIRGINIA!

And, you may ask, who exactly will I be shackin’ up with while I’m in Virginia?

IT IS THE LOVELY SJ!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I will be making the trek to Virginia to visit sj and her family. They will be putting up with me for DAYS. I am very excited about this, because a., I like adventures, and b., I AM VERY GOOD AT MAKING KIDDOS GIGGLE because I have no shame and totally do foolish things in order to make them laugh.

We will also do adventurous things, like talk our faces off and eat foods and at one point? THIS is going to happen…

WE ARE GOING TO THE ZOO AND THERE WILL BE GIRAFFES!!!!

(There will also be otters and penguins and leopards and tigers and cheetahs and lemurs! And will I take photos of myself making animal-faces? YES OF COURSE I WILL!!!)

But that’s not even the best of it, yo. Want more? Sure you do.

Guess who’s making a trip over to hang out with us and we are meeting her for the FIRST TIME?

IT IS HEATHER!

Seriously, right? Could this BE any more awesome?

Yep, actually, it COULD, because we are also meeting up with…

LAURA!

I know. Think about THAT for a minute. The combined awesome, it is STAGGERING.

(I cannot promise I will not have a panic attack because of ALL THESE THINGS but sj has promised I can have some alone time to breathe in a paper bag if I need to so it’s nice to know that option’s available, you know?)

THIS IS VERY EXCITING.

In ADDITION to this exciting news, I also had an email from one of my oldest friends that he’ll be in town on Sunday, and did I want to have lunch? I haven’t seen him in years. And YES, I want to have lunch. Seriously, how much awesomeness can I cram into the next month or so? IT IS INSANE. I do not deserve all this, do I?

It is now time for bed, because Laura will be here TOMORROW and I still have much to do and prepare and get ready and I am SO EXCITED HOW WILL I EVEN SLEEP. I may be missing for the next couple of days because SO MANY THINGS but I’ll come back with all the stories, don’t you even worry. Happy weekends if I don’t see you, Do something bold and exciting and grand, ok? You deserve it. *SMOOCH*

LOOK AT ALL THESE CHICKENS I’M COUNTING THEM ALLLLLLLLLL!

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That country whose people are autumn people, thinking only autumn thoughts.

It is officially September! (And happy Labor Day to all my fellow Merkans!) Well, the calendar says so, anyway. The weather says it’s still summer. It’s all sultry-muggy with those late-summer thunderstorms that come out of NOWHERE and BAM you’re soaked. Thanks, summer! Where are my crunchy leaves? Where are my cool evenings? I know. I am impatient. It’s an issue.

WHERE ARE MY LEAVESSSSS?

WHERE ARE MY LEAVESSSSS?

BUT! No matter! I refuse to let you get me down, weather of disgustingness! Because it is SEPTEMBER! Which means FALL IS HERE, DAMMIT! Also, it means I have SO MANY THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO!

Somehow, the next six weeks have come together into the busiest, yet most exciting, weeks ever. EVER. I have more things coming up in the next six weeks than I’ve had the whole year, and they are all awesome, and I am SO EXCITED.

We’re going to save the biggest, most exciting thing that’s coming up next month for a later date once it’s official, and once those chickens are ready to be counted, because I don’t want to geek out over something that’s still in the end-stages of planning.  It would be too depressing if it fell through. So once that’s official, expect MUCH REJOICING. And general rah-rah geeking out.

So…what’s coming up, Amy?

I WILL TELL YOU!

Andreas-face-talking! Andreas and I try to face-talk with a Google Hangout thingy on a regular basis. Like, at one point, we both got crazy busy? And almost two months passed? And the next time I talked to him, his son had a whole head of hair! THIS IS MADNESS! That much time can’t pass again. I need to see Andreas’ face regularly. Andreas keeps me grounded. He’s like my constant from Lost, I think. So there’s totally an Andreas’-face-talking scheduled in this month. This makes my brain settled, because I have a crazy-busy schedule coming up, and I like knowing I have Andreas scheduled in there. Being all constanty.

Andreas is a very good constant, brotha.

Andreas is a very good constant, brotha.

Laura-visiting! Very, very soon, Laura will be here to spend the weekend! Think of all the fun we had when I visited for just a few hours and multiply that times DAYS! We have grand plans; we are going to hit up the best thrift stores in the Capital District, we’re going to a play I’ve been looking very much forward to for some time (and it’s directed by, and stars, some of the best talent in the area – I can’t think of a better way to welcome Laura to town!) and we will have delicious foodstuffs. I need to get cleaning, because this place needs a good scrubbing. And I need to get planning, because Laura’s never been here before, so I really want to showcase our wonderful area so she falls crazy in love with it. (I want everyone to fall in love with it here and wherever they go, tell people, “Albany and the surrounding areas, they are wonderful! What do you MEAN you heard it was gritty and industrial and depressing. NO NO CHARLIE. Apparently you didn’t have the best tour guide ever!”)

You will not meet a tour guide who loves this place more. I most sincerely guarantee this.

You will not meet a tour guide who loves this place more. I most sincerely guarantee this.

Chris-and-Kat dinnering! Later in the month, Chris and Kat are visiting! In case you are all “who? what? what the hell?” Chris and Kat are Chris F. Holm, who is one of my favorite authors (and a downright awesome human) and his wife Kat, who I sincerely just enjoy the hell out of and is so kickass and awesome and funny and intelligent. There is a conference here, and Chris and Kat are attending…and we are meeting up! We are totally having food at one of my favorite restaurants! I am most excited, and hoping my excitement won’t translate into me spilling food all over my top or saying something idiotic or get tongue-tied that I am HAVING DINNER WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS YOU GUYS. (SIDE NOTE: when I told Dad this was happening, he was all, “What? They want to have dinner with you? That’s cool. Wait, are they killers?” and I said, “No. I’m quite sure they’re not killers.” And Dad said, “You don’t know. Probably this is what killers do. I bet this guy and his wife are BOTH female truck drivers” and I said “DAD. They are not FEMALE TRUCK DRIVERS. They are VERY NICE PEOPLE. They live in MAINE” and he said “Just because ONE AUTHOR you like lives in Maine doesn’t mean ALL authors that live in Maine are good, and besides, that author you like in Maine is a HORRORWRITER.” Dad doesn’t approve of horror. Also, one time Stephen King said something against Fox News, and therefore – DEAD TO DAD. So, Chris and Kat, I sure hope when you show up you are not female truck drivers. I hate when Dad’s right.)

Cousin S. visiting! This one’s got me over the moon. OVER THE MOON! So when I was a kid/teen Amy, one of my closest friends in all the land was my cousin S. Cousin S. is most honestly one of my favorite humans in the whole world. And she HAS been, since I was a wee Amy, all ponytails and big old glasses and nose buried in a book. We had so much fun together. We laughed until we cried. We GOT each other. We had inside jokes and secrets and she got me through some really tough times and even better, she was my family. How often is someone you love this much actually related to you?

This is cousin S. in high school. I stole this from her Facebook page. DO NOT KILL ME, COUSIN S.! I love you more than ALL THE THINGS. Also, look how beautiful she was. She totally still is, yo.

This is cousin S. in high school. I stole this from her Facebook page. DO NOT KILL ME, COUSIN S.! I love you more than ALL THE THINGS. Also, look how beautiful she was. She totally still is, yo.

Then life happened, and we moved away from one another, and went to different colleges, and there was marrying and child-having and job-getting and moving far and moving closer and all the things that happen while life is happening and you keep getting all these gray hairs, and then you turn around and you’re almost 40 and you haven’t seen your most beloved cousin in over ten years and you keep in touch with Facebook, but it’s still quite sad that you’re so far from those two girls giggling into the wee hours of the night over Princess Bride jokes and cute boys. Those girls would be SO ANGRY that you allowed life to get in the way of your relationship. Well! After us hinting at it and dancing around it and thinking about it for years, we are totally doing this thing, yo. Cousin S. is coming to visit this month for a WHOLE WEEKEND. I haven’t even decided what we will do yet. She said she hates it here so I have to win her over. Well, if there’s anyone that can win someone over to the joys of the Capital District, I think it might be me. I’m up to the task. We will eat food and talk and talk and talk and have adventures and then talk more and Dad was all, “Oh, no. You girls. That’s going to be trouble, is what that is. SO MUCH TROUBLE” but he was just kidding. He couldn’t be more pleased. I am so excited to see cousin S. SO EXCITED. (I don’t think we’ll get in trouble. Probably.)

This is cousin S. NOW. Guess what she does, along with being awesome? RACES IN TRIATHALONS. No, I'm totally not even kidding. She's one of the most kickass people I've ever known, most sincerely.

This is cousin S. NOW. Guess what she does, along with being awesome? RACES IN TRIATHALONS. No, I’m totally not even kidding. She’s one of the most kickass people I’ve ever known, most sincerely.

Mom and Dad visiting! Mom and Dad are coming for a weekend soon to pre-celebrate my birthday. We will have food and go shopping and marvel over the fact that I’m like the oldest. Then Mom will leave for Rome! Which she is very excited about!

BIRTHDAYING! YES! It is almost time (again? yes) for my birthday. Which of course means ALL THE CELEBRATION! OK, fine, it means I’m going to work all day then come home and probably blog…but still! BIRTHDAY!

Play-seeing! THREE plays this month. All of them with some of my favorite people. I get three fancy theatery lady-dates this month! On top of all the other awesomeness! I know, it’s almost too much. TOO! MUCH!

I’ve not yet decided if this is all TOO MUCH or if it’s JUST RIGHT. I’m going to go with it’ll be fine, as it’s all things I want to do. (Oh, also I have to work, of course. And do things like grocery-shop and laundry and clean and give Dumbcat snuggles and bring the car in for an oil change, which is totally not a euphemism, and get a haircut, and, like, LIFE-things. Those don’t stop. Well, maybe if you’re dead. I’m not dead, I don’t think. Am I?)

SO MANY ADVENTURES, you guys. With one big one to cap ’em all off that’s going to stay under wraps for the time being. Chickens. Counting. You know. But we’re close. We’re REALLY close.

I’m so excited I’m bouncy. Sometimes I live a really exciting life, right? It’s a little hard to believe. It’ll all be something to look back on when we’re mired in the wilds of the winter and don’t want to leave the house, I’d imagine. YAY FOR ENJOYING THE HELL OUT OF THE AUTUMN!

Happy week, everyone! Plan something spectacular for your fall. Fall deserves it. It’s really the best season. No, seriously, it totally is.


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