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Tag Archives: dogs

Even if they’d eat my whole face off, I totally still want one.

One of the (many) reasons I like talking to Andreas is that he constantly amazes me with all the things he knows. (And he just thinks they’re nothing. “Oh, I know this totally AMAZING THING! Eh, I’m sure everyone knows that, though.”) He’s always telling me new things in email, but where I REALLY get to learn the new things is when I get to talk to him with my face.

I very much enjoy talking to Andreas with my face. It is, by far, one of my favorite things about modern technology. Not only does it make me feel like I’m living in Jetsons-times, but also I miss Andreas and it is so nice to actually SEE him when I’m talking to him. I get very hand-wavy and happy and he makes me laugh and laugh but also we totally talk about serious things because I’m not ALWAYS a goofball and also, sometimes I get to see his adorable kiddos, and make them smile even though I’m sure they think I’m the crazy lady who lives in the computer and speaks gibberish.

I got to talk to Andreas for THREE WHOLE HOURS this past weekend! Until the very wee hours. Well, MY wee hours. Not the wee hours in the land of the Finns. Damn time zones, anyway. Why can’t my people all live right here in my town? Better still, right here in my HOUSE, which would be the most handy for chatting?

Among a million billion other awesome things that were discussed, Andreas taught me about an animal I didn’t know existed.

RACCOON DOGS!

I don’t even remember how it came up. He said something about raccoon dogs (I think that they were in his country?) and I was all, “That isn’t a thing. Raccoon dogs! That’s not REAL.” And he said, “It is SO real!” and promptly sent me a link to raccoon dogs, which do, indeed, exist.

“Can I have one?” I asked.

“No. They are wild. They’re not pets.”

“They would eat my face?”

“No. Probably they’d just run away.”

“LIKE DUMBCAT!”

This one's very much like Dumbcat. 'cause he's chunky.

This one’s very much like Dumbcat. ’cause he’s chunky.

Raccoon dogs are real things, but we don’t have them here in Merka. They aren’t raccoons. They’re more like dogs. Or foxes. They just LOOK like raccoons. And people hunt them for their fur, which is sadtimes. I mean, seriously. LOOK AT RACCOON DOG PUPS!

ZOMG!

ZOMG!

You don’t need to be fur-hunting something that looks like this. LOOK AT THESE FACES! I especially like the one on the right. He looks shocked and awed, but also peppy.

This one is SMILING. He wants to be my PET.

This one is SMILING. He wants to be my PET.

I know Andreas says I can’t have a raccoon dog for a pet because they’re not pets and he’s very practical, but everyone ALSO said Helper Mule didn’t like people, and we all know how THAT turned out. Helper Mule and I became the best of friends! When I left, I’m quite sure that Helper Mule was very sad. He seemed to be watching me leave in a very sad, mulish way. (Dad saw Helper Mule’s owner yesterday. “How is my MULE?” I asked. “I don’t know. Still alive, I suppose. At least, I didn’t hear otherwise. And I would assume if that damn mule had died, it’d come up in conversation,” Dad replied grumpily.)

Well, Andreas, you’re very practical, so I’ll take your word for it (even though it breaks my heart) that I can’t have a raccoon dog. HOWEVER, I have found this TOTALLY SAFE THING, so can I have this?

What do you get if you breed a domestic cat…

Like this handsome bugger RIGHT HERE...

Like this handsome bugger RIGHT HERE…

…with a beautiful, beautiful serval?

"Mom I don't want to haev baybeezz  with this cat she skeerz me," says Dumbcat.

“Mom I don’t want to haev baybeezz with this cat she skeerz me,” says Dumbcat.

YOU GET A SAVANNAH CAT!

They are beautiful and smart and loyal like dogs but also big. Look!

SO TALL! SO LONG!

SO TALL! SO LONG!

I WANT ONE!

I WANT ONE!

LOOK WHEN THEY ARE KITTENS!!!

OMG CAN YOU EVEN. I CANNOT. I CANNOT EVEN.

OMG CAN YOU EVEN. I CANNOT. I CANNOT EVEN.

But if I can’t have one of THESE cats, I found ANOTHER cat that is JUST AS GOOD.

A pixie bob!

Pixie bobs are supposedly descended from cats and bobcats who had some illicit sort of mountaintop love affair or something. I don’t even care about secret lovers, I just love this cat. He has a Dumbcat tail!

And tufty ears!

And this one looks like he wants to hide in the pots-and-pans cupboard! LIKE DUMBCAT!

This one looks like it needs antidepressants!

This one loves his owner SO MUCH!

They are not much bigger than normal cats.

ANDREAS CAN I HAVE A CAT THAT LOOKS LIKE A BOBCAT OR A SERVAL?

I tried to find out how much they cost but none of the breeder sites would list prices which makes me think I can’t afford them. When a store doesn’t list the price, you can’t afford it. That’s a Dad-rule.

Dammit. I so wanted a bobcat-cat. Or a serval-cat.

Oh, well. I have a Dumbcat-cat. That’ll have to do, I suppose.

You don't need a faency-catte, Mom. I em good enuf. I cuddel your legg while you write on the glowey tappy box. I em a goode boye!

You don’t need a faency-catte, Mom. I em good enuf. I cuddel your legg while you write on the glowey tappy box. I em a goode boye!

(VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: in case anyone wasn’t aware, as I always seem to get at least one person who’s all “OMG THAT’S SO IRRESPONSIBLE!” – please do not get your cats – or dogs – from breeders if you can help it. THIS POST IS IN JEST. There are wonderful animals that need homes at your local shelter; many of which will get put to sleep if they are not adopted, because space is at a premium. I say this as someone who, for two years, had to put down animal after animal while she worked at the Humane Society. There are not only wonderful mixed-breeds at your local shelter, there are purebreds. There are purebreds ALL THE DAMN TIME. Sometimes even with papers, because their owners have turned them in! So if you feel you can’t live without a purebred, check out your local shelter first, please. You might find your next family member right there, on death row – and it might not even be the one you went in for. Neither of my past two cats were the cats I went in looking for – and, actually, when Dumbcat crossed my path, I wasn’t even LOOKING for a new pet. He just showed up and I realized I couldn’t live without his cheerful, beautiful idiocy in my life. So, yes. The pixie bob and the Savannah cat are gorgeous, and if one fell from the sky into my life, I would happily take it. But always check out your local shelter first, please!)

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