Who are you?
At one point I was a blogger and I used to write a LOT. Then I ran out of time and ideas and energy for that, so now I’m a recovering ex-blogger who writes poetry and some essays and works for a newspaper in the social media department. I also read a lot, see a lot of excellent theater, watch a lot of excellent television and attempt to not get my extremities gnawed off by my very exuberant and very bitey cat.
Who’s Lucy, and why is this blog named Lucy’s Football? You never talk about either Lucy or football.
Good question. Many years ago, I wrote an essay about how life was very much like the Peanuts cartoon segment with Charlie Brown, Lucy, and the football, and how things you want are often dangled in front of you and then yanked away, and you fall on your face like poor blockheaded Charlie Brown. It was kind of my first blog post, but it was pre-internet times. You know, stone ages. As years passed, I realized that, depending on where you are in your life, you are one of the three characters/objects in that scenario: you are either Lucy, in control of the situation and making the decision whether or not to allow others to kick the football; Charlie Brown, deciding whether or not to go for it, torn between optimism and blockheadedness, knowing that it will probably be taken away from you; or the football itself, pulled around by forces beyond your control. It’s all very deep, right? Also, it just seemed like a fun name for a blog. However, it leads to a LOT of people who are looking for either football blogs or Charles Schultz-related items, neither of which I have. Sorry to both. As with many things, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Which really should be my life’s motto, to be honest.
I don’t want to be mean, but I was reading some of your archives, and the formatting is really bad. Like, all the lines run together and stuff. It’s really hard to deal with.
Yes. See, here’s the thing. I switched over from the nightmare that was Blogger at the end of September 2011, and the importer worked great except it erased all the formatting. So I have to go into each post – and there are like 100 of them – and fight with the HTML. I honestly gave up after fixing about 15 of them. You can read them on my old blog, which I have not erased, and where the formatting’s not so awful. It’s here.
Why do you write such long posts? Especially since the average attention span is tweet-length?
If you knew me in real life, you’d know I talk a lot. This is really just me, but in literary form, with some added exaggeration. I write like I talk: a lot, and with a LOT of asides. Tangents are my friend. I know that everything you read says to keep blog posts brief, otherwise you run the risk of losing readership. I wouldn’t worry too much about it now. I don’t have the time or inclination to blog anymore, anyway.
Why do you use so many capital letters? That’s yelling, in internet-speak. It’s uncouth. It’s nicer to use italics.
Yep. I know. I was an English major, and also, I’m schooled in the ways of the internet. Italics are classy, aren’t they? I don’t care much, though. I like capital letters; they better express me, as a person. I see an italics person as someone who has outfits that are color-coordinated, and a handbag on a little chain, and who puts a napkin in their lap while dining. I see a capital letter person as someone with a huge stain on their boob from dropping their barbecued ribs there and the stain didn’t ever come out, with a cowlick and probably some irresponsible piercings. I don’t think it would take too long for you to guess which person I am.
What happened to Dumbcat?
Dumbcat, who was internet-famous, sadly passed away in 2015. I miss him daily. He was the best cat ever. I now live with Tristan, the aforementioned bitey cat, who is very handsome. He chews on everything, including me, and rips apart all of his toys within a day. He might be a velociraptor.
Do you make any money from this blog? Also, can I send you something to review/talk about on your blog?
I made a little money from WordAds once. And once some nice people sent me to a bed and breakfast in Vermont. That was nice. But, no. I’m not one of those bloggers who made it big, baby. Sorry to burst your bubble. And, no, since I’m not blogging anymore, don’t bother approaching me to have me review something – it just won’t get done.
Will you ever blog again?
Probably not, no. It was a nice stretch, and I had a great time, but life’s moved on. I’m not the same person I was when I was blogging, and I wouldn’t even know how to begin blogging again, to be honest. I met amazing people. I get messages and emails asking me when I’m coming back, and I’m sorry if it’s caused anyone pain, but I can’t imagine I am.
February 21st, 2012 at 9:24 am
Very funny. Glad I found you!
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February 21st, 2012 at 9:04 pm
Thank you! I’m glad you did, too! :)
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April 28th, 2012 at 11:14 pm
Love what I’ve read so far and even more so that you are from somewhere in my neck of the woods…Upstate NY that is! I found your fantastic blog thanks to Lahikmajoe aka Ken!
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April 29th, 2012 at 6:28 am
Yay, two of my favorite things, upstate NY and Ken! :)
Thanks for reading, I’m so glad to have you here!
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April 29th, 2012 at 10:19 am
:) So glad to have found your blog!
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May 6th, 2012 at 11:11 pm
Just found your blog, you’re very funny!
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May 6th, 2012 at 11:22 pm
Thank you! Glad you’re here!
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June 23rd, 2012 at 1:04 am
How frequently are you in fact asked these questions?
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June 23rd, 2012 at 8:25 am
Less frequently now that I have my FAQ.
OK, OK, FINE, some of them more so than others.
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March 27th, 2013 at 5:22 pm
”douchecanoe” … could i use that one? haha.
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March 27th, 2013 at 9:17 pm
Absolutely. Feel free. (I stole it from The Bloggess so it’s free for the taking!)
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March 28th, 2013 at 1:30 pm
Laughing makes you live longer (they say, when they are not saying you’re going to die from practically everything else), so I owe you a day or two! Thanks! I’m from upstate, too, Rochester, and I think that’s why I like your voice. I’m hearing it loud and clear and have 0 (count ’em 0) questions for you.
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March 28th, 2013 at 8:16 pm
Aw, thank you so much! I’ve BEEN to Rochester! Let’s see…1999? I think? I spent New Year’s Eve there one year!
I’m better at making people laugh than not, usually (this week was kind of an aberration) so I’m glad you like it! :) So glad you’re here!
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March 28th, 2013 at 10:03 pm
I’ve been back a bit more recently than that to Rochester, but it really hasn’t changed much. Especially because I mostly see the inside of my parent’s house. Your fat-shaming piece caught my eye, and I thought it was one of their better picks.
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March 28th, 2013 at 10:06 pm
Hee! When I go home, I mostly only see the inside of my parents’ home, too. And thank you so much! I still can’t believe I was picked. Things like this don’t happen to me. Sincerely. Not even a little bit.
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March 28th, 2013 at 10:04 pm
One of the better picks on Freshly Pressed, I meant.
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June 24th, 2013 at 9:08 pm
Do you have a spare email for PM purposes? I’ve got a quershtion fer ya.
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June 24th, 2013 at 9:36 pm
Scroll down….
Nope. Further.
FURTHER.
WAAAAAAY at the bottom of the blog.
There it is!
Or I could just tell you it’s lucysfootball at gmail dot com and stop being a dick.
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June 24th, 2013 at 9:42 pm
I didn’t believe you at first, as I didn’t see it. Lo and behold, there it is, all sans ampersat and formatting. Heads up, Amy.
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June 24th, 2013 at 10:38 pm
Oh, you should always believe me. Except for when I’m being sarcastic, or lying. Don’t believe me at those times, of course.
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June 24th, 2013 at 11:51 pm
How do I know you’re not lying now? Which chalice has the iocane powder, Westley?
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June 25th, 2013 at 7:32 am
One can never tell with me. I’m as bad of an idea as a land war in Asia.
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July 30th, 2013 at 3:58 pm
I did not see a search box, and I want to know more about Dumbcat. Where do you talk about him?
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July 30th, 2013 at 9:39 pm
The search box is way at the bottom, I think. I’ll go look.
OK, I’m back. Yep, way at the bottom. Here’s a link to some Dumbcat posts per the search box. My stupid comments won’t let me make a pretty link today, so it looks terrible, sorry. https://lucysfootball.com/?s=dumbcat
(I talk about him a lot, so I’m sure there are more!)
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July 30th, 2013 at 9:56 pm
Thanks! I used to have a Blanket Cat and a Psycho Cat, but we had to give them new homes cause allergies. I am eager to learn about Dumbcat. I love that name.
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July 30th, 2013 at 9:59 pm
He has a real name, but he’s in Witness Protection so we don’t use it online. I’d say why, but then the mob will come after him.
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July 30th, 2013 at 10:04 pm
The cat mob? Wow, those guys are merciless. Cat fights all the time. (snicker)
Psycho cat needed some anti-anxiety meds. She would meow insistently till your ears bled and try to actually crawl up you to get away from the imaginary elves or whatever. It might have had something to do with Blanket Cat getting her in a headlock and kicking her in the head with her feet when they were kittens.
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July 30th, 2013 at 10:11 pm
Dumbcat is VERY dumb. Hence his online name. He runs into things with his head, and sometimes falls off the couch, or bed. He’s ungainly for a cat.
He’s also the funniest cat I’ve ever known, and he makes me laugh uproariously pretty much daily because he’s so darn cheerful about being a dork.
That’s why I’d feel terrible if the cat mob found him. *looks around warily*
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October 1st, 2013 at 2:44 am
Haha. That was very amusing read. I am definitely going to be a regular visitor to your blog.
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October 1st, 2013 at 11:09 pm
Thank you so much! So glad to have you here!
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October 10th, 2013 at 8:12 am
I LOVE ITALICS!
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October 11th, 2013 at 7:22 am
Italics and all-caps are where it’s at, yo!
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January 21st, 2014 at 8:17 pm
So you can really tell it like it is (let your conscience be your guide) That’s what great writing is all about! I hope that my writing one day will be as fun and exciting as your sharp (as a double-edged sword) wit! Here’s another exclamation point just for fun!! (I through in an extra one at no extra charge to you…) So I need to find a balance between true with and dumb jokes. I will just have to keep reading Lucy’s Football. It’s all Good!
Michael
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January 22nd, 2014 at 7:04 pm
Thank you, and thank you for reading! I’m so glad you’re here!
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December 10th, 2014 at 11:44 pm
so i’m new to this whole blogging thing but it’s either releasing my inner monologue on the internet or continue to have one way conversations with my cat. and altho i don’t mind chatting with my cat, my cat seems to mind it very much. i’m kinda getting tired of the condescending looks. why did i pick your blog? bc you’re the first of 5 that didn’t annoy me. your words made me smile and your chattiness reminded me of me. so thank you for not being the 5th blog to suck ass!! have a fabulous holiday!!
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January 1st, 2015 at 10:31 pm
Eek, as usual, I’m a billion years behind replying to anything. THANK YOU. I’m glad I don’t suck! And I hope you had a fabulous holiday as well!
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