Frequently Asked Questions

Who are you?

At one point I was a blogger and I used to write a LOT. Then I ran out of time and ideas and energy for that, so now I’m a recovering ex-blogger who writes poetry and some essays and works for a newspaper in the social media department. I also read a lot, see a lot of excellent theater, watch a lot of excellent television and attempt to not get my extremities gnawed off by my very exuberant and very bitey cat.

Who’s Lucy, and why is this blog named Lucy’s Football? You never talk about either Lucy or football. 

Good question. Many years ago, I wrote an essay about how life was very much like the Peanuts cartoon segment with Charlie Brown, Lucy, and the football, and how things you want are often dangled in front of you and then yanked away, and you fall on your face like poor blockheaded Charlie Brown. It was kind of my first blog post, but it was pre-internet times. You know, stone ages. As years passed, I realized that, depending on where you are in your life, you are one of the three characters/objects in that scenario: you are either Lucy, in control of the situation and making the decision whether or not to allow others to kick the football; Charlie Brown, deciding whether or not to go for it, torn between optimism and blockheadedness, knowing that it will probably be taken away from you; or the football itself, pulled around by forces beyond your control. It’s all very deep, right? Also, it just seemed like a fun name for a blog. However, it leads to a LOT of people who are looking for either football blogs or Charles Schultz-related items, neither of which I have. Sorry to both. As with many things, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Which really should be my life’s motto, to be honest.

I don’t want to be mean, but I was reading some of your archives, and the formatting is really bad. Like, all the lines run together and stuff. It’s really hard to deal with.

Yes. See, here’s the thing. I switched over from the nightmare that was Blogger at the end of September 2011, and the importer worked great except it erased all the formatting. So I have to go into each post – and there are like 100 of them – and fight with the HTML. I honestly gave up after fixing about 15 of them. You can read them on my old blog, which I have not erased, and where the formatting’s not so awful. It’s here.

Why do you write such long posts? Especially since the average attention span is tweet-length?

If you knew me in real life, you’d know I talk a lot. This is really just me, but in literary form, with some added exaggeration. I write like I talk: a lot, and with a LOT of asides. Tangents are my friend. I know that everything you read says to keep blog posts brief, otherwise you run the risk of losing readership. I wouldn’t worry too much about it now. I don’t have the time or inclination to blog anymore, anyway.

Why do you use so many capital letters? That’s yelling, in internet-speak. It’s uncouth. It’s nicer to use italics.

Yep. I know. I was an English major, and also, I’m schooled in the ways of the internet. Italics are classy, aren’t they? I don’t care much, though. I like capital letters; they better express me, as a person. I see an italics person as someone who has outfits that are color-coordinated, and a handbag on a little chain, and who puts a napkin in their lap while dining. I see a capital letter person as someone with a huge stain on their boob from dropping their barbecued ribs there and the stain didn’t ever come out, with a cowlick and probably some irresponsible piercings. I don’t think it would take too long for you to guess which person I am.

What happened to Dumbcat?

Dumbcat, who was internet-famous, sadly passed away in 2015. I miss him daily. He was the best cat ever. I now live with Tristan, the aforementioned bitey cat, who is very handsome. He chews on everything, including me, and rips apart all of his toys within a day. He might be a velociraptor.

Do you make any money from this blog? Also, can I send you something to review/talk about on your blog?

I made a little money from WordAds once. And once some nice people sent me to a bed and breakfast in Vermont. That was nice. But, no. I’m not one of those bloggers who made it big, baby. Sorry to burst your bubble. And, no, since I’m not blogging anymore, don’t bother approaching me to have me review something – it just won’t get done.

Will you ever blog again?

Probably not, no. It was a nice stretch, and I had a great time, but life’s moved on. I’m not the same person I was when I was blogging, and I wouldn’t even know how to begin blogging again, to be honest. I met amazing people. I get messages and emails asking me when I’m coming back, and I’m sorry if it’s caused anyone pain, but I can’t imagine I am.

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