I know! Three days without me. WhatEVER did you do with yourselves. Oh, what’s that, you didn’t even notice? FINE. GOOD. SEE IF I CARE NEENER NEENER.
This was a weekend of all the busy-ness. Things going on all three nights. It’s like I almost have a life. I KNOW! It’s most impressive and I wouldn’t want to start getting a big head about such a thing.
BUT, because what would all the things be if I didn’t SHARE them (like, for example, if I had a huge box of animal crackers – wouldn’t it be so much better if I shared it with others? Yes. Yes, it would) YOU, my most favorite readers, get recappy goodness of what happened over my weekend of debauchery. Except there wasn’t any debauchery, really. So, just, my weekend, then. Fun, right? Totally fun.
Let’s get crackin’! Like we have nuts! Only we do not have nuts!
Friday night was “see a play and have dinner with friend K. and then run home and review the play and then go to bed super-late and wake up early Saturday for work and be all the cranky-tired” night. So that’s exciting, right? Yes.
So friend K. came over right after work and met Newcat. Newcat liked friend K. but also gave her a pissy look that I have decided is Newcat’s default face. Newcat also hissed and growled at Dumbcat, as she does, so K. knows I’m not making up the Thunderdome currently occurring in my domicile. Then we decided to go to Ruby Tuesdays. Because it was easy and fast and on the way and also sometimes I just want salad bar. Don’t you ever just want salad bar? And they have edamame on their salad bar, and I could eat my own weight in edamame.
So we ate all the salad and talked and talked and talked and then it was off to the theater to watch the play.
I have been very lucky in that the plays I have seen over the past five months that I’ve had to review have, on the whole, been quite good. I’ve only seen two I didn’t like very much, but I didn’t hate them, so was able to write a review that wasn’t a total pan. I don’t like to write really negative reviews. Because I work in theater, so I know how hard everyone works. And I know how devastating it is to work that hard, and get just a totally negative review that makes you feel like you’re crap. I’ve been there. I know.
But then I think, if I was just a person, reading the paper, looking for guidance about whether or not I should see a show, and I read a review and it was all “good! Good times!” and I went, and it was TERRIBLE, how would I ever trust that reviewer or that paper’s theater reviews again?
In short: the play was terrible. If I wasn’t reviewing it, I would have left at intermission. And I don’t do that. I am stubborn. I stick it out. ALMOST all the time. I think I’ve only left performances four times since I moved to the area. And I’ve seen a lot of terrible plays in my time. A LOT.
So I sat there and watched this show thinking, “I can’t give this a good review. I just can’t.” Because it wasn’t just my OPINION it was bad. It was perplexing why this show was chosen; the acting was…well, there were about 8 people in the show, I think, and 4 of them were watchable. That’s how the acting was. The others were…not. Just not. And the direction was…lacking. It was nonexistent. In happier news, the set was pretty, as were the costumes. So not ONLY did I have to sit there and watch a terrible SHOW, I had all the angst about having to write a bad review of a local theater group.
But I did it. I totally was true to myself and wrote an honest review. I said nice things about the people who deserved it, and I was not the HARSHEST toward the people that didn’t. Because even if they were terrible, they still worked hard. And today I read the review from the reviewer from the other paper and his review was very similar to mine, and he’s been doing this a long time, so I’m going to assume that it WAS a terrible play and I’m not even making it up in my head.
ANYWAY, then I worked all day Saturday and the highlight of that was that on Sunday, one of our clients was doing free cabs for St. Patrick’s Day. So people wouldn’t drive drunk, you see. But the drunks thought they should ALSO be doing them on SATURDAY. Because our big St. Patrick’s Day parade was Saturday and everyone gets drunk in the streets for that. So they kept calling us all drunk and belligerent and all “YOU NEED TO PICK ME UP I AM DRUUUUUNK!” and “THIS IS ILLEGAL!” and, my personal favorite, “THIS IS *hiccup* BULLSHIT AND YOU ARE BULLSHIT! Nah, I’m just kiddin’. GOODBYE!” I’m so glad I wasn’t working on Sunday when the ACTUAL drunks were calling. These were just pre-drunks. Practicing drunks. Baby-drunks.
GET ME A CAB, LADY!
THEN I went home for an Office Space group watch with sj and crew. You can totally read our shenanigans, thanks to sj’s kickass Storify skillzzzzz. Oh, and before that, I went to Rite Aid to get…crap, I don’t even remember what I was getting, something. But they recently retooled our Rite Aid so it’s pretty and the aisles are wider and the floors are shiny-new and so as a consequence are discontinuing some things, and are having a huge sale on them. Some of those things are high-end hair-care items. Which are all now 75% off. Like, FANCY shampoo and conditioner. FOR $2!!! Which I totally bought. Then I went back today and bought the rest of it, because then I’ll have enough shampoo and conditioner for like months and it’s really good, for the same price as the cheap crap is, normally. WIN WIN WINNNNNN!
SO GOOD. And it smells like fruit punch.
WHEW! Let’s take a quick breather before the end of this, ok? I mean, it’s already really long, but I need to pee and give Dumbcat some treats and find something to watch on the teevee.
I AM BACK! I feel much better, I hope you all do as well. Relaxed? Good.
So SUNDAY, I got up all early and got ready and drove to Poughkeepsie! To see C. and C.! ADVENTURE! The drive to Poughkeepsie was fine and there were very few people on the road, which was nice. I dislike people. Also, Dad was all, “SO MANY DRUNKS WILL BE ON THE ROAD!” but I think they weren’t drinking yet at 9:30am.
Also, as somewhat of a side note, I realized just before I left that I needed to put money on my EZpass. If you don’t live in New York, that is the little plastic thingy on your windshield that lets you drive on the highway without paying at the toll in cash moneys. But I haven’t reupped it in a while. And didn’t know my password or my username. And the website was a nightmare. And kept timing me out and kicking me out. ALL I WANT TO DO IS PUT MONEY ON MY EZPASS NEW YORK STATE! Aren’t you all hard-up for money? WHY WON’T YOU TAKE MY MONEY!?!?!? But I persevered and WON and had money on my card and then found out it didn’t take effect for 48 hours. So probably all my traveling caused fees on my card. That was NOT a win. I really need to plan ahead for such things.
Damn you, EZPass!
ANYWAY, I got to C. and C.’s lovely new house and it was SO EXCITING!!! It is the prettiest house. It is the only red house on the whole street and it has a DRIVEWAY and a YARD and will have ROSES when the weather gets nicer. Listen, I kind of almost had tears. I don’t have many friends with houses. Or if I do, they live far away and I don’t get to see them. This felt very grown-uppy to me.
So I got to have a tour of their house! And the INSIDE is even better than the OUTSIDE! It was built in the 40s and it’s totally old-fashionedy. But not in a weird gramma way. In a history way. It has good history. You feel good when you walk around in it. Safe and good. It’s a house that’s been around for a long time and will BE around for a long time and it feels like it knows you and has absorbed all the good vibes of all the people who came before and it’s cozy and it’s got cool quirky things like a huge basement without even any ghosts! And a whole BATHROOM in the basement! Like, with a SHOWER in it! And a whole sunroom where you can sit and read in the sun! And the whole upstairs is like an attic but also a huge bedroom with little cupboardy closets built right into the walls! And it has the most beautiful wooden floors that just glow and shine! I walked around like I was touring the Taj Mahal. And in my mind, I was. I can’t imagine I would have liked the Taj Mahal any more than I loved C. and C.’s new house. It is the most perfect house for them.
Meh. It’s no C. & C.’s house.
I didn’t want to be a weirdo who puts photos of their new house all over the internet but I DID take SOME photos because there were some things that needed to be documented because they just tickled me so damn much.
This is C.’s cat reading Body Dump, which, if you remember, was the book I mentioned a while back about the MURDER HOUSE IN POUGHKEEPSIE! As you can see, her cat is very enthralled. C. is LESS enthralled. “That book is terrible,” she said. “You’re reading it and it’s like, there’s terrible writing, and then there’s this.” I told her that I have found many true-crime novels to be this way. It IS, however, by the person who wrote Lobster Boy. So what could go wrong, really?
This was outside the bathroom. C. (BOY C., not GIRL C.) told me that every house had one of these, but I have never seen one in my life. I like how dramatic this is. It is SO RED! It is an EMERGENCY SWITCH! LOOK OUT! EMERGENCY! Also it looks so old-fashionedy, doesn’t it? Like it’s from ago? This is kind of blurry. We were in a hurry to hit the road at this point.
This is the BEST thing. This is the control panel for an old-fashioned alarm system that is not hooked up anymore, but I think it looks like the control panel for a spaceship. I think every house should have one of these. It gives the house a lot of old-fashioned charm, right? Also, if these lights started going off in the middle of the night, it would be like the past had come back to get you. Also, I decided the basement was an old bomb shelter. Whether it was or not, who knows, but I like to imagine things. It makes every day a calvacade of wonder and mystery.
Sadly, we could not go to the murder house, because C. researched it and it had been torn down. TORN DOWN! So we could see where the murder house WAS but not the murder HOUSE. Oh, the march of progress. (Apparently, the house was…smelly. From the rotting dead people he kept in the attic. I know. I KNOW.)
UPDATE UPDATE! So it was BOY C. that said the murder house was razed, but GIRL C. emailed me this morning with the following link and said IT IS STILL THERE! She’s tenacious, right? So we’re totally going to creep it next time I visit. Also, you have to watch this video because the guy on it makes me laugh and expects us to believe that he had all the hooker-sex back in the day.
Then we went to a diner that ALSO looked like a spaceship for lunch. SPACESHIP DAY!
And of course I had waffles. I am obsessed with waffles. Also, there were little jukeboxes on all the tables. Which I find adorable. If I lived my perfect life, I think I might eat every meal in a diner. EVERY MEAL. And sometimes I wouldn’t even eat waffles. Sometimes I might eat french toast or pancakes. (I would, however, always eat bacon.)
Then it was time to go to the play! The theater was about half an hour away and my GPS didn’t take me the same way it took C. We took separate cars because it was half an hour closer to home for me to leave from there. So my GPS took me down weird country roads and I was fairly sure it was the wrong way, but it actually was NOT the wrong way, and the theater was kind of in the middle of nowhere.
(OH SIDE NOTE FOR SJ! On the way to C. and C.’s house, I drove past a very funny hotel that I THOUGHT was called TAK Hotel, and I started saying “TAK! TAK AH LAH!” at it and laughing like a moron and wondering who would stay there but then I realized it was called PAK Hotel and that was not at all as funny and kind of confusing, actually. What kind of name is Pak for a hotel, I ask you? Also, this is not going to make any sense to the rest of you unless you’ve read Stephen King’s Desperation or The Regulators.)
So I got to the theater and it was LOVELY, even though it was in the middle of nowhere. C. told me that people in Rhinebeck have mucho dinero, so I suppose that explains it.
It’s brand-new and looks like a barn and has lots of parking and when it’s summer, it must be just beautiful up there. So green and lush.
Inside, it’s even better. Huge and echoey and clean and new and shiny. I was quite enamored.
The stage is deep and the seats are at an angle so everyone has good sightlines but they also gave us plenty of room to move. I was super-pleased.
And in even BETTER news, the show was A. MAY. ZING.
The set was gorgeous. Things came out of the flyspace and up out of the floor and the choreography was BRILLIANT and almost all of the actors both sang and acted beautifully.
ALMOST, I said. Come on. I’m a little picky. Problems: the lead girl, instead of doing her own thing with the role, decided to play it like Lea Michele. And I feel that’s the lazy person’s way out. In comparison, the actor playing Melchior did his own thing with it, and he was STELLAR. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Also, a few of the actors in smaller roles were VERY flat, but they danced well, so I’m not sure what I should pay more attention to. And, in news of the WORST, the actor playing Moritz (who, when I saw the touring Broadway production, stole the show) was such a scenery-chewer that C. and I were totally distressed. He’s supposed to be SOMEWHAT over the top, but OMGGGGG you guys. He kept trying to upstage everyone else. And when no one else was onstage, he was attempting to upstage himself. HE WAS OUT OF CONTROL.
However, the rest of the show was brilliant. The set was gorgeous and the music was amazing and I totally got tears and at one point our Melchior totally came into the audience to do some leapy things and at intermission I said, “You love this, right?” to C. and she had glowy eyes of love and I was SO PLEASED because the only thing better than getting to see one of your favorite musicals is sharing it with one of your most beloved people who haven’t seen it before and having THEM love it, too!
Then it was over and it was time to go home and as always, that is sad. Goodbye to C.! Goodbye to happy theater! Goodbye to Rhinebeck!
The GPS took me ANOTHER weird way to get to the highway down ANOTHER podunk highway. Oh, I totally forgot to tell you that on the way to C. and C.’s house, I went past a road that was called “Hooker Road” and that seemed ill-advised. Who would want to live on Hooker Road? I wouldn’t even think hookers would want that, because then everyone would know what they did for a living.
Then I got home and there were NO drunks, so Dad was totally wrong about the plethora of drunks I was going to encounter. Or maybe they just weren’t driving yet since it was only 7pm, who knows.
And THERE ENDS OUR TALE of WEEKEND OF ADVENTURE! It was all very much successful, even if all these things made the weekend go by in a quick quick flash and now it’s the week again and it’s like I didn’t even HAVE a weekend. Next weekend is less busy, with only one play to see. More resty-time. And right now we’re having a super-duper-snowstorm so that’ll be fun driving tomorrow. Huzzah!
Happy…what day is this. Tuesday? HAPPY TUESDAY TO YOU ALL!