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Category Archives: weekend

I have not been kidnapped by pirates. I promise.

This is a brief check-in so you don’t think I’m dead.

*checks*

Nope, not dead.

Maybe MOSTLY dead. But not all the way!

Maybe MOSTLY dead. But not all the way!

It’s a busy couple of weeks here, which just kicked off on Thursday. I might be running around like a crazyperson until mid-October, so I can’t plan anything (including blogging, sadly.) They’re all good things, and fun things, and things I’m very much looking forward to, but there are a LOT of things.

So, this past week, I reviewed a show (and had a very nice dinner with my friend K., in which we caught up and laughed and ate and solved all the world’s problems. YOU ARE WELCOME, WORLD. Expect my invoice in the mail in the next 2-4 weeks.) The paper I write for is still having technical difficulties, so you can read my review for free. I saw Les Mis. It wasn’t a flawless production (but it wasn’t the worst production I’ve ever seen, either…so not a complete waste of time. I do so enjoy “On My Own.” And hearing “to love another person is to see the face of God” always gives me chills.)

Then Friday, Cousin S. came to visit! We had a weekend of ADVENTURE and TALKING and MORE ADVENTURE. We ate all the food (sushi and popcorn and Cheesecake Factory and waffles!) and toured Albany and saw a movie (Don Jon, which was really very good, if you like naughtiness and Joseph Gordon Levitt, both of which we do) and I introduced her to Veronica Mars (which she loved, yay! Excellent taste, that woman. It must be hereditary.) And we talked and talked and talked. We had many years of talking to catch up with. I think we did that admirably. Then, after she left, I took a three-hour nap. WHO DOES SUCH A THING. It was not planned to be that long. I had a headache and I was like, let’s just curl up for a bit, see if we can get this to back off! and then the next thing I knew, it was dinnertime. What the hell?

I don't like cheesecake. I got this thing called Blackout Cake. One slice was the size of my damn head. I could not even finish it. True story.

I don’t like cheesecake. I got this thing called Blackout Cake. One slice was the size of my damn head. I could not even finish it. True story.

And ALSO, this weekend, I was Freshly Pressed for the second (I KNOW!) time! So the phone went off and off and OFF with comments and likes and reblogs and such and Cousin S. was like YOUR PHONE! IT IS BLOWING UP! and I was like, yes, blogging, it is a strange and demanding mistress. The WordPress people contacted me on Monday to tell me they were Freshly Pressing the blog I wrote last week about meeting up with Josh last weekend, and I could not have been more pleased. What a great post to choose, and what an honor for them to choose me again. So! Some of you are most likely new people. Hello, new people! I am so pleased you are here. Please always feel free to comment, and if you are confused and would like to know what the hell’s going on here (I don’t know what’s going on here a lot of the time, to be honest) you can check out my About page, or the Frequently Asked Questions page. And just a warning, usually I’m goofy. SOMETIMES I’m serious, but seriously, usually I’m very random and goofy. So if you hate such things, no harm, no foul, I suppose.

VERY EXCITING!

VERY EXCITING!

This week is INSANE. I’m seeing three plays (and reviewing two), going to dinner with friends, working 6 days, getting a haircut, bringing the car to the garage because I think it’s about to die, and Mom and Dad are coming to visit because I AM ALMOST A YEAR OLDER. Yes! It is true! With the advent of October, it is almost AMY-MONTH! Shush, I totally get a whole month, don’t you get a whole month when it’s YOUR birthday? Well, if you don’t, you should, sheesh. We are officially 8 days from my birthday. This year I sadly have to work on my birthday, because later in the week I’ll be taking six days off to take a trip to Virginia! IT IS ALMOST VIRGINIA-TIME!!!

BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!

BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!

Now it is bedtime, because I have a Stephen King book that is crying out “Amy! READ ME!” and you know, I kind of want to do that. This is the longest I’ve gone without having my nose stuck in a new Stephen King book in my whole LIFE. If I don’t hurry up, I just know some internet asshat is going to spoil it for me, and then I will have to go POSTAL on them and who wants THAT to happen? No one. I mean, sincerely.

Happy Monday, all. I hope your weekends were full of adventure and mystery and wonder and joy. If they weren’t, there’s always next weekend, right? Right.

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Old friends and new friends and adventures and SO MUCH FOOD ZOMG

I am far too tired to function at the moment. However, I really want to blog about the weekend of adventure, preferably before I FORGET about the weekend of adventure, so I’m going to soldier on. I’m intrepid, I am.

This weekend was crammed full of things. SO MANY THINGS. I don’t know if I’ve had a busier weekend in ever. HAPPY busy, but INTENSELY busy. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m honestly quite lazy. When I’m not doing things (and let’s be honest; I’m quite often doing things) I am sitting around blogging or watching television. I’m not much of an adventurer, for the most part.

This weekend? SO MUCH ADVENTURE. Sincerely.

So on Friday, I left work early and went to the doctor and then ran a bunch of errands. Because that night…that very night…it was LAURA NIGHT!

Yes, Laura came to visit for a whole weekend! This was a plan we hatched a while back when talking about shopping. See, the lovely Laura is a thrift store shopper extraordinaire. And we have a LOT of thrift stores here. So we came up with a plan for her to come visit and we would do all the shopping, plus I would show her around Albany and we would have a grand adventure.

So I went to the train station! And waited most (im)patiently! And then like 47 trains came in at once! (OK, fine, two. Two trains came in at once.) And I was afraid I would not see Laura, but then there she was! And she was ADORABLE and she was IN MY CITY!

TRAIN STATION TOOT TOOOOOT!

TRAIN STATION TOOT TOOOOOT!

(This is kind of unprecedented. I usually go TO people. People do not usually come to ME. This felt very grownup and fancy.)

We decided the first night we would chill out and just hang out at my place. So back to Casa del Futbol we went!

The first bit of surprise: DUMBCAT LOVED LAURA!

I mean, he likes people EVENTUALLY. But he doesn’t usually love people right AWAY. So I warned Laura he would probably run away RUN AWAY, as he does, and maybe hide under the bed, or in the pots and pans cupboard. But NO! She came in, and he didn’t run away at all! He actually was all “PET ME, WOMAN!” and headbutted her for MORE petting and was all filled with purrs! Now, this is unprecedented. He runs away from EVERYONE. (Well, except me, unless I’m trying to clip his nails or touch him when he’s not in the mood for such nonsense.) This made me very happy.

I actually made FOOD. Like, real live food. With INGREDIENTS in it. I didn’t even warm it up in the microwave. Like, there was COOKING, In the OVEN. True facts!

This doesn’t look as good as it turned out. I made enchiladas! With chicken and beans and much cheese and spiciness! (Because I’m a freak, I got all the things to make them, then was like “ZOMG WHAT IF LAURA’S A VEGETERIAN OR HATES BEANS OR MEXICAN FOOD” and then had to text her and say, “Um. Is this ok? Will you eat this?” and she WOULD. Whew.)

Enchiladas are not the PRETTIEST food but they are DELICIOUS. These were super-good. And I have leftovers for two more days, so that’s nice.

So we ate and ate and talked and ate and laughed and talked MORE and finally went to bed kind of late because all the talking. I do so like talking to Laura. She’s the best of talkers.

The next day was DAY OF ADVENTURE!

We woke up and first went to my favoritest of diners where DELICIOUS WAFFLES WERE CONSUMED! The best part of this (well, other than waffles) was that Laura was trying to find out what kind of sausage came with her breakfast. “Is it patties, or is it, you know…” she said, and then mimed something that looked very much like either a hand- or blowjob. Without missing a beat, the waitress said “They’re sausage links. Are you a teacher?” and it was SO PERPLEXING. How did she get teacher from that? When Laura asked, she said, “Oh, you explained that like a teacher.” WHAT KIND OF TEACHERS DID THIS WOMAN HAVE. This made us giggle. A lot.

My favorite diner YAY! Seriously, I'd been dreaming of waffles for WEEKS.

My favorite diner YAY! Seriously, I’d been dreaming of waffles for WEEKS.

Then we went to our FIRST thrift store, which was the Salvation Army. It is a big Salvation Army and it is pleasingly arrayed in color order. We saw many things there, like a jar opener (if you are very weak?), and one orthopedic shoe for sale (I guess if you only have one foot), and a framed mirrored piece of artwork with Eminem in it. Thrift stores make me wonder about the people who dropped off these things. Why did they EVER have them, and why did they get RID of them?

SALVATION ARMY, BABY!

SALVATION ARMY, BABY!

Laura found a couple of things, and even I found some things, which NEVER happens! I found a few shirts and a very cute skirt and a nice picture frame with beading all over it (because I have photos I want framed but don’t have the frames for them.) We also found a million copies of the Twilight saga in the book section. That made me irresponsibly happy.

Then, on to thrift store #2! This one is more expensive but has more clothes straight from stores with tags on them and everything. I tried on so many clothes that I think I might have started a minor riot outside the two dressing rooms. SORRY HUMANS. But I bought SIX new shirts that I am VERY excited about and a very cute nightgown. No, you can’t see it, not even a little.

Goodwill! It is mega-huge,  yo.

Goodwill! It is mega-huge, yo.

Then it was time for lunch. Because we eat balanced meals, we had…

ICE CREAM! Kurver Cream was right across the street and is closing for the season soon and I was excited to bring Laura to my favorite ice cream stand. These cones were DRIPPY, you guys. We got MESSY.

Then it was time to take a quick tour of Albany. We were running out of time and had things to do that evening. So I planned a little excursion to my favorite place in all of Albany when you want to show someone the fantasticness.

The Empire State Plaza!

Laura seemed VERY happy with the beauty that is the Empire State Plaza. Weird shit was going down there this weekend. I have no idea what it was, but there was loud music and all the streets were closed and we had to hike across the Capitol lawn and we saw two wedding parties which was nice.

Laura at The Egg! Those ducks were cool. But we kept getting attacked by cheeky weird pigeons.

We then jetted home and got all dolled up for our ladydate. We totally forgot to take photos of ourselves all fancy, but we were wearing dresses and had pretty hair and makeup and we were the PRETTIEST. People were impressed.

First, we went to dinner at one of my favorite local restaurants, which is New World Bistro Bar. It’s where I take people when I want to show them the coolness. It’s got fun delicious food and a wonderful atmosphere and we were very impressed with the sexiness of all of the employees. We ate until our faces almost fell off.

We wanted dessert and even though the waitress was like “I warn you, that thing, it is HUGE” we totally ordered this ice cream sandwich which was rootbeer ice cream and rootbeer whipped cream and rootbeer cookies and listen. That waitress wasn’t lying.

I know, right? They weren’t screwing around about how huge. My word. We couldn’t finish this. We gave it a good try, though.

Then it was time for the theater! Originally, I was supposed to review a show that night, but that got moved to another night. So instead we went to my old theater to see Big Maggie, which I really wanted to see anyway, and was glad I could bring Laura to for many reasons, some of which were that she could meet my friends, and that some of my favorite local actors were working on this show.

And it was a total hit. We were IMPRESSED. The acting and the set and the direction – all of it was fantastic. And I saw so many people and got to introduce Laura to so many people and it was just the best time.

But THEN, a very bad thing happened which was the little headache I’d had all day got worse and worse and WORSE and then I was like, huh, it seems this is turning into a migraine. And by the time I got home, it was bad news bears. I took some aspirin, and the aspirin was the last straw and my head told my stomach “nope, we’re not accepting that” and then I had to go to the bathroom and fight the urge to vomit for many minutes because if there’s anything I hate it’s throwing up. Yuck.

So then it was time for early bedtime, which meant I went to bed but couldn’t fall asleep for a while because OUCH OUCH OUCH and then finally fell asleep and then when I woke up I felt all hollow like I had no brain, so that’s nice. But at least my head didn’t hurt anymore. Because it was HOLLOW, you see.

Then it was time to rush around and get ready to bring Laura back to the train station so she could go home. Sniff.

Back to the train station! Many hugs! Sad goodbyes! Laura was the best visitor. I don’t have many overnight guests. This was an excellent experiment in visitations. If it always went this well I would always have visitors. I MISS YOU ALREADY, LAURA!

Then it was time for the SECOND adventure of the weekend. I mean, with the second PERSON.

Not too long ago, one of my oldest friends contacted me and said he was coming to town for a few hours on Sunday, and did I want to get together for lunch? Yes. Yes, I did.

I have known David since the first week of college. So therefore, we have known each other since we were 17. SEVENTEEN. Can you imagine? That is a very long time ago. I barely remember that girl. I remember David, though, and I remember meeting him that day, when I was scared and homesick and a very nice boy smiled at me and held the door of the dining hall and told me I looked pretty that day, and then I ran into him again a few days later when visiting a friend at his dorm and we were friends from that point on. I’ve known David longer than I’ve known almost anyone. It’s funny, when you have that much history with someone. They know all of your things, and you know theirs, but then when you move away from each other, you still know those things…but then there are all new things you DON’T know, so that person’s still in there, but it’s also a new person. It really is a funny thing.

As you can see, this train station wasn't as awesome. (Obviously I did not take this photo today.)

As you can see, this train station wasn’t as awesome. (Obviously I did not take this photo today.)

So I then went to ANOTHER train station to get David, who was coming in about an hour later, and hung out in the parking lot like a creeper and wrote email and made phone calls and such. Then when the train was coming in I waited outside my car and I heard “AMY!” and there was David. And he looked like my David, even though I hadn’t seen him in ten years in person. (I thought it was just five years or something, but we figured out it had actually been ten. That’s a very long time.)

So we went to the restaurant, and talked and talked and waited for the restaurant to open, and David was in town because he is a very fancy talent agent and was there to surprise one of his clients who was starring in the tour of Ghost, but we ruined the surprise because she saw us on the street and she was so cute and surprised to see him and then she gave me a HUGE hug and she was teeny-tiny and full of all the excitement and I liked her very much. So I got to meet the star of Ghost! Which I am reviewing on Tuesday! So I certainly hope she’s good because how awkward will it be if she’s terrible and she was so adorable and filled with hugs? (Damn, but it’s tough being honest sometimes. Let’s just cross our fingers she’s wonderful.)

Then we went to lunch, only the restaurant wasn’t ready for us even though we had a reservation. “Can you come back in an hour? We’re cleaning up from a party last night,” said the man at the door. “Um. No? Because of theater reservations?” we said. After much sighing, he agreed to let us sit outside. So we had lunch and talked and talked and caught up and it was just nice, you know? If you’ve known someone that long, catching up with them is a nice thing. (And behind us, the people kept bringing trash and ice sculptures and such out of the restaurant. The whole thing was very strange. I don’t know that I’d go back there.)

Then we walked around town a little and then it was time for David to go to the show and for me to go home and crash out because WHOO WHAT A WEEKEND but we totally took some photos which I do not have explicit permission to post here but I’m doing it anyway.

This is us being…shocked, I guess? We are making FACES here, yo. Also I like how the Ghost poster looks like it’s telling David a secret.

Now we look happy and relaxed and beautiful. This is one of my most favorite photos of my whole life. Seriously. This makes me beyond happy. This is a photo of two people who have had a very good day and love each other.

And when I got home I had blogging and a weekends’ worth of internet things to catch up on and emails to write and a freelance job to do and now I am GOING TO BED, dammit. SO SO TIRED.

Best weekend. Just the best. And more wonderful things upcoming. So many things happening. So happy.

Hope you all had the best weekends filled with adventure, and all the delicious foods and friends and laughter.


Things you cram into a weekend

  • When one of your coworkers at the newspaper emails you at 7am asking if you’re free to cover a review for him that night in Massachusetts, even though the show starts at 8:30pm and it’s over an hour away and you have to write the review when you get home in order to make the deadline and then get up for work the next morning at 7:30am at latest, you say yes. Because you’ve never been to Massachusetts, you’ve never been to this theater and you hear it’s one of the best in the area, and you really like the playwright and haven’t seen this particular play of his yet.
  • Sometimes, you just need an adventure all on your own, even if it’s a little scary, because it’s something you have to prove to yourself you can do.
  • The drive to Lenox, Massachusetts from Albany is very pretty. First it’s all city city city, then it’s all highway highway boring blah, then it starts to be very green and rural and the air smells nice and clean.
  • There’s a huge “Massachusetts Welcomes You” sign once you cross the border on I-90. You’re totally allowed to cheer and say “THANK YOU I FEEL VERY WELCOMED, MASSACHUSETTS!” and bop around in your seat a little.
  • When you cross the border into Massachusetts, it looks very much like New York. You might think there would be unicorns or something along those lines, but you would be wrong. It’s the same. Which is a little disappointing.
  • Having a billion songs (give or take a billion) on your phone is the best thing ever. It totally beats having to bring a bunch of CDs and change the CDs and almost drive off the road every time you do it. You just put the phone on shuffle and you’re good to go. Added bonus: you know all the songs so you can sing along loudly and off-key. Especially since you’re alone in the car so you’re not bothering your passenger.
  • There are a lot of tollbooths between Albany and Lenox. Another awesome bit of technology: the EZ Pass. Which even works in other states. You may not be aware of this and think you’re in trouble because you don’t have any cash on you. Nope! EZ Pass is accepted all over the land. (“Of course it is, Amy, SIGH,” said Dad. Sorry, Dad, I’m not much of a world traveler.)
  • Once you get off the highway, Lenox is a lovely little town. It looks old-fashionedy and pretty and there are a lot of trees and old stores and houses. It was utterly charming.
  • Your GPS will sometimes take you down roads that look like no one’s driven on them in a billion years. “Why are you trying to kill me, GPS?” you might say to it. I mean, if you were the type to talk to inanimate objects. Which of course I am. “This is where killers live in the trees, GPS. I don’t know what I’ve done to you to deserve this kind of Texas Chainsaw Massacre death, really.”
  • Suddenly, you will come upon a little road with a sign for the theater and you will apologize profusely to your GPS for doubting it.
  • Shakespeare & Company is not just a theater. It is a THEATER COMPLEX. It is a NUMBER of theaters all on what seems to be an old farm. There are signs pointing to each of the theaters telling you what’s playing at each one. It’s all landscaped and there are trees and water and little fairy lights in the trees and it might well be one of the most beautiful, magical places for theater to happen you’ve ever seen in your life. You might drive around with your mouth open like a gigantic country rube. Hypothetically.
  • The theater was beautiful, the show was amazing, the employees were very nice without being weird about it (sometimes theater employees are overly solicitous to reviewers, and it’s a little off-putting) and there were a LOT of rich people there. Apparently, Lenox is rich-people land. Whoa. You may be a little underdressed amongst all the snazzy people since it was dress-down day at work and you are wearing jeans and a shirt that started the day nice enough, but ended the day a little wilted.
  • On the drive home, the night was as clear as could be, and without all the ambient light from the city, the stars were so bright they were the stars from every poem ever. They were FIRMAMENT stars. And the moon started out as a light orangey-red and slowly morphed to an almost coppery-amber, and it was a perfect crescent moon. It is completely allowed to marvel in the night.
  • You can make it to Massachusetts and back and see a very fancy play all by yourself even if you are completely directionally challenged. You will feel very good about this. Very proud of yourself. And very happy you have such a job that allows you to do such things.
  • You will not, however, feel so proud of yourself the next morning since you stayed up until 2am finishing the review and it is a very long day of work and a LOT of crazy people will call needing your attention and you don’t have a lot of it to give. You will yawn a lot. A WHOLE lot. You also have to grocery shop after work because you are out of milk and cheese, and dairy is really kind of a staple food group. I mean, it’s on the food pyramid and everything.
  • You may have plans to stay up late and talk to Andreas with your face between 11pm and 12am Saturday night but when he emails you right after 11pm you will sadly beg off because you are falling asleep over your laptop. You are sad about this because Andreas is one of your most favorite humans. He does, however, understand, and tells you to get a good night’s sleep because he is, without a doubt, one of the most caring people you know. You are very tired, and someone caring about your sleep this much makes you cry a little, which is a thing you do when you are very tired. You make plans to talk to him tomorrow when you wake up. This seems like a very good plan.
  • You collapse into bed and sleep for EIGHT STRAIGHT HOURS. You would have slept longer, but for some reason, your beloved but mentally deficient cat decides to leap on your face after you’ve slept for 8 hours. Apparently, he thought that was enough. He didn’t need food or water. Just attention. That was what precipitated the early-morning face-leap.
  • You realize you cannot talk to Andreas until you put yourself together, because not only did you sleep for 8 hours, you slept HARD. You look like you’ve been hit by a truck. A truck full of cast-iron pans. And in just a few hours you have to go BACK to Massachusetts to see ANOTHER play and also meet friend C. for lunch.
  • You put yourself together so you look less like a highway accident victim and more like a human being. (Note: Andreas probably wouldn’t have cared. Sometimes you talk to Andreas in your pajamas. Andreas is very understanding and doesn’t care if you look like a weirdo. Or, if he does, he’s too nice to mention it.)
  • You talk to Andreas for an hour. His family all make an appearance, including the dog, and you cannot stop smiling. Andreas is a balm that cures many ills.
  • You attempt to get some things done but fail miserably because the internets keep distracting you from your goal. It’s a thing that happens more often than you’re willing to admit.
  • You take off for Pittsfield. Pittsfield is not an easy of a drive as Lenox, because you can’t take the highway all the way. You have to take a lot of little tiny roads where the speed limit is 30 and, randomly, there are a lot of cops. You sigh a lot.
  • You make it to Pittsfield and your GPS hates one-way streets and refuses to help you find the theater. You instead find the restaurant and go in and almost cry all over the bartender telling her you can’t find the theater where you’re supposed to meet friend C. She is more scared of you than understanding, to be honest. She gives you directions to the theater, which is randomly a couple blocks away. When you leave to go to your car, Friend C. is outside. She is also unable to find the theater. Her GPS has also refused to bring her there. However, since you are at the restaurant, you decide to eat.
  • The food is kind of meh, but the company couldn’t be better, so it all balances out. When you have known someone for almost twenty years, you are never really at a loss for conversation.
  • You take off for the theater and are kind of embarrassed at how easy it is to find when you know where it is. You mentally apologize for almost crying on the bartender.
  • The show is good. Quite good. It’s just not your thing. However, some people like pretty, brainless musicals, so if that’s their thing, they will like this show very much. There are a couple people in the show that are very good, so you watch them with the most joy. And randomly, one of the songs makes you think of something that it wasn’t even supposed to make you think of, and it wasn’t even especially sad, and you might start leaking at the eyes a little bit. Then you have a moment where you think about how memories sometimes ninja sneak-attack you and make a completely benign song suddenly the most tear-inducing thing you’ve ever listened to.
  • You say goodbye to friend C. and make plans to do it all over again at the end of the month which will be the most fun because you weren’t sure when you would see her again and drive home through all the teeny-tiny streets past all the cops.
  • You make it home in time for True Blood and half-watch while writing your review. Even half-watching True Blood is enough to know it is still quite terrible. However, Eric is still the prettiness.
  • You quickly write sj an email recapping True Blood which is the best part of True Blood and collapse in bed because it is now almost Monday and time for the week ahead which has even MORE things to do in it.
  • You have weird dreams for no apparently reason other than your brain runs like a hamster on a wheel sometimes and you wake up enough times that the cat gets fed up with you and goes to sleep elsewhere.
  • Suddenly, bam, it is Monday, and your weekend is over. And look at all the things you have done! You are a ROCK STAR. You went to a new state! You went to two new theaters! You saw two shows you’ve never seen! You got to hang out with friend C.! You got to talk to Andreas with your face!
  • You can now rest. Until the next adventure. Which, knowing you, will be any minute now.
  • You are most definitely queen of all the adventures.
  • MOST definitely.

    Well, maybe not this particular adventure.

    Well, maybe not this particular adventure.


Trying to sloth and failing most miserably

I’m super-lazy this weekend. Well, you’re reading this Monday. So I suppose that should be past-tense. I WAS super-lazy this weekend. I just wanted to sit on the couch and do nothing at all. Which is foolish because it is SPRING and I should want to be FROLICKING but mostly I just wanted to be SLOTHING. What, that’s totally a verb. Right? Well, if it’s not, it is now. SLOTHING!

But I totally went to work and did the work-thing and I went to a play on Sunday because even though you WANT to be slothing, you probably can’t really sloth. I mean, you could, but then you’d feel terrible about yourself for having slothed when you could have gone out and done things.

So at work on Saturday, the following thing happened:

A person called the maintenance line of their apartment complex to complain that a bird had gotten into the laundry room, and they needed it removed immediately, because they were afraid they would catch rabies from it. From a bird. Rabies from a BIRD. I did not take this call, but I saw this call because I was in charge of reviewing all the calls for a while. That’s a thing I have to do sometimes. Mostly it means I have to correct people’s grammar and spelling and make sure that calls that should be paged out are paged out, and that calls are being paged to the correct person on call. Fancy, right? Right. ANYWAY, when I saw that one I laughed until I snorted and then wrote Andreas the following note so I would remember to tell him about the bird when I got home:

Because I knew Andreas, who is very sciency, would find a rabid bird both hilarious and very sad. And he did.

Also, someone called a pest-control line and asked how they could go about adopting from us, and I said, “Did you want to adopt ants or bees?” and she was all, “No, a puppy” and I said, “We don’t have puppies? Just ants? And bees? And sometimes armadillos, and raccoons.” And she was not pleased with this. It was like she thought I was lying to her. Why would you think a pest control company would have puppies? That seems like faulty logic to me. As puppies aren’t pests, really. Well, I suppose if they are chewing on your shoes that’s a little pesty, but not enough to call a pest control company. Sheesh.

I'm not a pest!  Look at my cute FACE! I am a PUPPY!

I’m not a pest! Look at my cute FACE! I am a PUPPY!

Then today (MY today, YOUR yesterday) I tried to sleep in (FAIL) and then lazed around most prestigiously until it was time to go to the theater. It was so windy today I probably could have opened an umbrella and it would have carried me all the way to Schenectady. ECONOMICAL AND ECOFRIENDLY!

The play was quite good. I was glad I got up off the couch. It had a lot of layers. Sometimes I don’t want to think when I go to the theater and I just want things to be pretty and fluffy and sometimes I want to sink my teeth into something. It was a sink-my-teeth sort of day, and the play delivered. It had racism and activism and making changes in the world and people who changed over the course of the action and suspense and drama. All good things. And people I loved – friend P., who is always brilliant, and M., who I’ve worked with a few times and gets better every time I see him, which makes me so happy.  I love to see an actor grow and evolve. It shows they’re paying attention and it shows they love what they do. And there were a lot of people I hadn’t seen onstage before, two of whom were absolutely amazing and I hope to see them again. (One was 18. EIGHTEEN! And WONDERFUL! He cried onstage. Effortlessly. That’s a talent, right there. ADULTS have problems with that. Nope. Like it wasn’t even a thing. WHOA. I expect great things from this kid.)

And now I’m being a sloth again. SLOTHING! It is a slothful weekend. This week I have things to do like review a musical (and hang out with friend K., who is a DIFFERENT friend K. than I usually talk about, I know, am I just the most social? The answer to that is NO, but anyway, friend K. is coming to the show with me and I think we are having dinner beforehand, which will be nice, because I don’t know that we’ve ever hung out outside of the theater before, and as we all know, this is YEAR OF TRYING NEW THINGS!, so it will be exciting and fun.) I think that’s all I have this week? I don’t have my social butterfly calendar in front of me. That’s at work.

This is more me. I'm more of an antisocial moth.

This is more me. I’m more of an antisocial moth.

ALSO, it is less than a month to trip-to-Baltimore time! This is very exciting. I should start thinking about this more. What will I wear? What will we do? What will I bring? How much can I get away with playing on the floor with Baby CeeVee without looking like a total lunatic, because I TOTALLY want to roll around with her on the floor and make her laugh and laugh! I am shameless about baby laughter. It makes me the happiest. I will make ALL the faces for baby laughter. Every last one! Baby CeeVee, we are going to be the best of friends, I just know it!

It is now time for Game of Thrones, which will cap off my weekend of slothing, which, if you look at it, was not all that slothy, was it? Dammit. I’m terrible at slothing. I need to take lessons or something. Slothing lessons! Where the highest-graded student does the least amount of work! SLOTHING!

Oh, and bonus Dad-story: he had a bunch of people over at his mirrory condo a few days ago for a going-away party. (Not RANDOM people. My cousins and their children. They’d been visiting for a week or so.) So there were five little children in his condo. I asked him the next day how it went.

“I had to vaccuum for an hour and a half today,” he said, in a very dire tone. “The place was RIDDLED with crumbs. UTTERLY RIDDLED. Did you know wherever children go, THEY DROP CRUMBS? So. Many. Crumbs. Amy.”

Just riddled. UTTERLY riddled.

Just riddled. UTTERLY riddled.

RIDDLED with crumbs has made me laugh for days. Just utterly riddled. However did he raise two children without going insane? With ALL THOSE CRUMBS being dropped and all? Poor Dad, such a tormented soul.

Also, today is Amy’s grandmother’s birthday. She is 86. Isn’t that a wonderful age? Yes, it is. She is funny and sassy and full of delightful stories that are quite often gossipy and cussy. Happy birthday, Amy’s grandmother! I hope you have the best 86th year anyone has ever had. (It is also Hugh Hefner’s 86th birthday. I like to pretend they are birthday twins, because it makes me giggle with glee. They have SO MUCH IN COMMON. Heh.)

Happy week, all. I wish you all much slothery. Remember, the winner of the slothing game is the one who does the LEAST. Best of luck!


Spaceships and hookers and the lack of murder houses: a weekend of adventure!

I know! Three days without me. WhatEVER did you do with yourselves. Oh, what’s that, you didn’t even notice? FINE. GOOD. SEE IF I CARE NEENER NEENER.

This was a weekend of all the busy-ness. Things going on all three nights. It’s like I almost have a life. I KNOW! It’s most impressive and I wouldn’t want to start getting a big head about such a thing.

BUT, because what would all the things be if I didn’t SHARE them (like, for example, if I had a huge box of animal crackers – wouldn’t it be so much better if I shared it with others? Yes. Yes, it would) YOU, my most favorite readers, get recappy goodness of what happened over my weekend of debauchery. Except there wasn’t any debauchery, really. So, just, my weekend, then. Fun, right? Totally fun.

Let’s get crackin’! Like we have nuts! Only we do not have nuts!

NO NUTS!!!!

NO NUTS!!!!

Friday night was “see a play and have dinner with friend K. and then run home and review the play and then go to bed super-late and wake up early Saturday for work and be all the cranky-tired” night. So that’s exciting, right? Yes.

So friend K. came over right after work and met Newcat. Newcat liked friend K. but also gave her a pissy look that I have decided is Newcat’s default face. Newcat also hissed and growled at Dumbcat, as she does, so K. knows I’m not making up the Thunderdome currently occurring in my domicile. Then we decided to go to Ruby Tuesdays. Because it was easy and fast and on the way and also sometimes I just want salad bar. Don’t you ever just want salad bar? And they have edamame on their salad bar, and I could eat my own weight in edamame.

WAAAAANT.

WAAAAANT.

So we ate all the salad and talked and talked and talked and then it was off to the theater to watch the play.

I have been very lucky in that the plays I have seen over the past five months that I’ve had to review have, on the whole, been quite good. I’ve only seen two I didn’t like very much, but I didn’t hate them, so was able to write a review that wasn’t a total pan. I don’t like to write really negative reviews. Because I work in theater, so I know how hard everyone works. And I know how devastating it is to work that hard, and get just a totally negative review that makes you feel like you’re crap. I’ve been there. I know.

But then I think, if I was just a person, reading the paper, looking for guidance about whether or not I should see a show, and I read a review and it was all “good! Good times!” and I went, and it was TERRIBLE, how would I ever trust that reviewer or that paper’s theater reviews again?

In short: the play was terrible. If I wasn’t reviewing it, I would have left at intermission. And I don’t do that. I am stubborn. I stick it out. ALMOST all the time. I think I’ve only left performances four times since I moved to the area. And I’ve seen a lot of terrible plays in my time. A LOT.

So I sat there and watched this show thinking, “I can’t give this a good review. I just can’t.” Because it wasn’t just my OPINION it was bad. It was perplexing why this show was chosen; the acting was…well, there were about 8 people in the show, I think, and 4 of them were watchable. That’s how the acting was. The others were…not. Just not. And the direction was…lacking. It was nonexistent. In happier news, the set was pretty, as were the costumes. So not ONLY did I have to sit there and watch a terrible SHOW, I had all the angst about having to write a bad review of a local theater group.

But I did it. I totally was true to myself and wrote an honest review. I said nice things about the people who deserved it, and I was not the HARSHEST toward the people that didn’t. Because even if they were terrible, they still worked hard. And today I read the review from the reviewer from the other paper and his review was very similar to mine, and he’s been doing this a long time, so I’m going to assume that it WAS a terrible play and I’m not even making it up in my head.

ANYWAY, then I worked all day Saturday and the highlight of that was that on Sunday, one of our clients was doing free cabs for St. Patrick’s Day. So people wouldn’t drive drunk, you see. But the drunks thought they should ALSO be doing them on SATURDAY. Because our big St. Patrick’s Day parade was Saturday and everyone gets drunk in the streets for that. So they kept calling us all drunk and belligerent and all “YOU NEED TO PICK ME UP I AM DRUUUUUNK!” and “THIS IS ILLEGAL!” and, my personal favorite, “THIS IS *hiccup* BULLSHIT AND YOU ARE BULLSHIT! Nah, I’m just kiddin’. GOODBYE!” I’m so glad I wasn’t working on Sunday when the ACTUAL drunks were calling. These were just pre-drunks. Practicing drunks. Baby-drunks.

GET ME A CAB, LADY!

GET ME A CAB, LADY!

THEN I went home for an Office Space group watch with sj and crew. You can totally read our shenanigans, thanks to sj’s kickass Storify skillzzzzz. Oh, and before that, I went to Rite Aid to get…crap, I don’t even remember what I was getting, something. But they recently retooled our Rite Aid so it’s pretty and the aisles are wider and the floors are shiny-new and so as a consequence are discontinuing some things, and are having a huge sale on them. Some of those things are high-end hair-care items. Which are all now 75% off. Like, FANCY shampoo and conditioner. FOR $2!!! Which I totally bought. Then I went back today and bought the rest of it, because then I’ll have enough shampoo and conditioner for like months and it’s really good, for the same price as the cheap crap is, normally. WIN WIN WINNNNNN!

SO GOOD. And it smells like fruit punch.

SO GOOD. And it smells like fruit punch.

WHEW! Let’s take a quick breather before the end of this, ok? I mean, it’s already really long, but I need to pee and give Dumbcat some treats and find something to watch on the teevee.

I AM BACK! I feel much better, I hope you all do as well. Relaxed? Good.

So SUNDAY, I got up all early and got ready and drove to Poughkeepsie! To see C. and C.! ADVENTURE! The drive to Poughkeepsie was fine and there were very few people on the road, which was nice. I dislike people. Also, Dad was all, “SO MANY DRUNKS WILL BE ON THE ROAD!” but I think they weren’t drinking yet at 9:30am.

Also, as somewhat of a side note, I realized just before I left that I needed to put money on my EZpass. If you don’t live in New York, that is the little plastic thingy on your windshield that lets you drive on the highway without paying at the toll in cash moneys. But I haven’t reupped it in a while. And didn’t know my password or my username. And the website was a nightmare. And kept timing me out and kicking me out. ALL I WANT TO DO IS PUT MONEY ON MY EZPASS NEW YORK STATE! Aren’t you all hard-up for money? WHY WON’T YOU TAKE MY MONEY!?!?!? But I persevered and WON and had money on my card and then found out it didn’t take effect for 48 hours. So probably all my traveling caused fees on my card. That was NOT a win. I really need to plan ahead for such things.

Damn you, EZPass!

Damn you, EZPass!

ANYWAY, I got to C. and C.’s lovely new house and it was SO EXCITING!!! It is the prettiest house. It is the only red house on the whole street and it has a DRIVEWAY and a YARD and will have ROSES when the weather gets nicer. Listen, I kind of almost had tears. I don’t have many friends with houses. Or if I do, they live far away and I don’t get to see them. This felt very grown-uppy to me.

So I got to have a tour of their house! And the INSIDE is even better than the OUTSIDE! It was built in the 40s and it’s totally old-fashionedy. But not in a weird gramma way. In a history way. It has good history. You feel good when you walk around in it. Safe and good. It’s a house that’s been around for a long time and will BE around for a long time and it feels like it knows you and has absorbed all the good vibes of all the people who came before and it’s cozy and it’s got cool quirky things like a huge basement without even any ghosts! And a whole BATHROOM in the basement! Like, with a SHOWER in it! And a whole sunroom where you can sit and read in the sun! And the whole upstairs is like an attic but also a huge bedroom with little cupboardy closets built right into the walls! And it has the most beautiful wooden floors that just glow and shine! I walked around like I was touring the Taj Mahal. And in my mind, I was. I can’t imagine I would have liked the Taj Mahal any more than I loved C. and C.’s new house. It is the most perfect house for them.

Meh. It's no C. & C.'s house.

Meh. It’s no C. & C.’s house.

I didn’t want to be a weirdo who puts photos of their new house all over the internet but I DID take SOME photos because there were some things that needed to be documented because they just tickled me so damn much.

This is C.’s cat reading Body Dump, which, if you remember, was the book I mentioned a while back about the MURDER HOUSE IN POUGHKEEPSIE! As you can see, her cat is very enthralled. C. is LESS enthralled. “That book is terrible,” she said. “You’re reading it and it’s like, there’s terrible writing, and then there’s this.” I told her that I have found many true-crime novels to be this way. It IS, however, by the person who wrote Lobster Boy. So what could go wrong, really?

This was outside the bathroom. C. (BOY C., not GIRL C.) told me that every house had one of these, but I have never seen one in my life. I like how dramatic this is. It is SO RED! It is an EMERGENCY SWITCH! LOOK OUT! EMERGENCY!  Also it looks so old-fashionedy, doesn’t it? Like it’s from ago? This is kind of blurry. We were in a hurry to hit the road at this point.

This is the BEST thing. This is the control panel for an old-fashioned alarm system that is not hooked up anymore, but I think it looks like the control panel for a spaceship. I think every house should have one of these. It gives the house a lot of old-fashioned charm, right? Also, if these lights started going off in the middle of the night, it would be like the past had come back to get you. Also, I decided the basement was an old bomb shelter. Whether it was or not, who knows, but I like to imagine things. It makes every day a calvacade of wonder and mystery.

Sadly, we could not go to the murder house, because C. researched it and it had been torn down. TORN DOWN! So we could see where the murder house WAS but not the murder HOUSE. Oh, the march of progress. (Apparently, the house was…smelly. From the rotting dead people he kept in the attic. I know. I KNOW.)

UPDATE UPDATE! So it was BOY C. that said the murder house was razed, but GIRL C. emailed me this morning with the following link and said IT IS STILL THERE! She’s tenacious, right? So we’re totally going to creep it next time I visit. Also, you have to watch this video because the guy on it makes me laugh and expects us to believe that he had all the hooker-sex back in the day.

Then we went to a diner that ALSO looked like a spaceship for lunch. SPACESHIP DAY!

And of course I had waffles. I am obsessed with waffles. Also, there were little jukeboxes on all the tables. Which I find adorable. If I lived my perfect life, I think I might eat every meal in a diner. EVERY MEAL. And sometimes I wouldn’t even eat waffles. Sometimes I might eat french toast or pancakes. (I would, however, always eat bacon.)

Then it was time to go to the play! The theater was about half an hour away and my GPS didn’t take me the same way it took C. We took separate cars because it was half an hour closer to home for me to leave from there. So my GPS took me down weird country roads and I was fairly sure it was the wrong way, but it actually was NOT the wrong way, and the theater was kind of in the middle of nowhere.

(OH SIDE NOTE FOR SJ! On the way to C. and C.’s house, I drove past a very funny hotel that I THOUGHT was called TAK Hotel, and I started saying “TAK! TAK AH LAH!” at it and laughing like a moron and wondering who would stay there but then I realized it was called PAK Hotel and that was not at all as funny and kind of confusing, actually. What kind of name is Pak for a hotel, I ask you? Also, this is not going to make any sense to the rest of you unless you’ve read Stephen King’s Desperation or The Regulators.)

So I got to the theater and it was LOVELY, even though it was in the middle of nowhere. C. told me that people in Rhinebeck have mucho dinero, so I suppose that explains it.

It’s brand-new and looks like a barn and has lots of parking and when it’s summer, it must be just beautiful up there. So green and lush.

Inside, it’s even better. Huge and echoey and clean and new and shiny. I was quite enamored.

The stage is deep and the seats are at an angle so everyone has good sightlines but they also gave us plenty of room to move. I was super-pleased.

And in even BETTER news, the show was A. MAY. ZING.

The set was gorgeous. Things came out of the flyspace and up out of the floor and the choreography was BRILLIANT and almost all of the actors both sang and acted beautifully.

ALMOST, I said. Come on. I’m a little picky. Problems: the lead girl, instead of doing her own thing with the role, decided to play it like Lea Michele. And I feel that’s the lazy person’s way out. In comparison, the actor playing Melchior did his own thing with it, and he was STELLAR. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Also, a few of the actors in smaller roles were VERY flat, but they danced well, so I’m not sure what I should pay more attention to. And, in news of the WORST, the actor playing Moritz (who, when I saw the touring Broadway production, stole the show) was such a scenery-chewer that C. and I were totally distressed. He’s supposed to be SOMEWHAT over the top, but OMGGGGG you guys. He kept trying to upstage everyone else. And when no one else was onstage, he was attempting to upstage himself. HE WAS OUT OF CONTROL.

However, the rest of the show was brilliant. The set was gorgeous and the music was amazing and I totally got tears and at one point our Melchior totally came into the audience to do some leapy things and at intermission I said, “You love this, right?” to C. and she had glowy eyes of love and I was SO PLEASED because the only thing better than getting to see one of your favorite musicals is sharing it with one of your most beloved people who haven’t seen it before and having THEM love it, too!

Then it was over and it was time to go home and as always, that is sad. Goodbye to C.! Goodbye to happy theater! Goodbye to Rhinebeck!

The GPS took me ANOTHER weird way to get to the highway down ANOTHER podunk highway. Oh, I totally forgot to tell you that on the way to C. and C.’s house, I went past a road that was called “Hooker Road” and that seemed ill-advised. Who would want to live on Hooker Road? I wouldn’t even think hookers would want that, because then everyone would know what they did for a living.

Then I got home and there were NO drunks, so Dad was totally wrong about the plethora of drunks I was going to encounter. Or maybe they just weren’t driving yet since it was only 7pm, who knows.

And THERE ENDS OUR TALE of WEEKEND OF ADVENTURE! It was all very much successful, even if all these things made the weekend go by in a quick quick flash and now it’s the week again and it’s like I didn’t even HAVE a weekend. Next weekend is less busy, with only one play to see. More resty-time. And right now we’re having a super-duper-snowstorm so that’ll be fun driving tomorrow. Huzzah!

Happy…what day is this. Tuesday? HAPPY TUESDAY TO YOU ALL!


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