Well, we learned a lot on Saturday.
- I was supposed to be Amos. I would have been a hayseed with overalls, most likely. Driving a tractor.
- There are a lot of songs with my name in the title; however, they are not all good. Or even slightly tolerable.
- I like the name Ermentrude.
- “Amy” is a very rah-rah-sis-boom-bah cheerleader name, and, as discussed, I am anything but rah-rah. I’m more growl-growl.
I meant to discuss what my CRITERIA were, in the last post, for what makes a very good Amy-song. But got distracted. Probably by that song where that guy said he was in a band, but it was just him, and he purported to have been making out with someone named Amy by the water but I think we can all agree no one ever made out with him willingly.
Criteria for a good Amy-song:
- Extra points for it being romantic. (I’m a total sucker for sad songs.)
- A song that, were someone to woo me with it, I would totally be wooed. TOTALLY be wooed. (Knowing an Amy-song is a total romantic coup with me.)
- Says “Amy” not ONLY in the title, but in the lyrics as well.
Otherwise – well, it’s kind of nebulous. It’s tough to say what kind of song will work for me and what won’t.
So, let’s see what we have today! Ready for more Amy-songs? YAY! ME TOO!
“Amy’s Back in Austin” – Little Texas
This man has a most prodigious mullet.
This song is foolish, and I care not for it at all. It’s not good, and the story isn’t very interesting. A girl and a guy move away together but then they break up and she moves away and he misses her! Um. BORING.
Check out that mullet, though.
SIDE NOTE: I am quite desperate to visit Austin, Texas. I think Austin and I would get along very well.
“Amy’s Song” – Joshua Radin
(Side note: I have a huge crush on Joshua Radin. I love his voice and I think he’s utterly adorable. He was in the season finale of Cougar Town – YES, I watch that, SHUT UP, it is HILARIOUS – and he was just supposed to be some guy on the street, you weren’t supposed to RECOGNIZE him, and I was all “ZOMG JOSHUA RADIN!” and I played that part over and over about seven times.)
That being said, I don’t love this song. It’s only an Amy-song in the title, and it’s kind of annoying and a little whiny. That makes me sad. I had high hopes for this, being my man Joshua Radin and all. Sorry, Joshua Radin. I will, however, still listen to “You Got Growin’ Up to Do” over and over some days. It’s a thing I do.
“Amie” – Pure Prairie League
(Side note: YOU ALL THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LEAVE THIS ONE OFF! I was saving it for TODAY!)
This may well be my favorite Amy-song of all time. I discovered this on a road trip when I was in college. And I played it OVER AND OVER AND OVER. I love the twangy country of it; I love the repeated use of “Amie,” I love “I keep fallin’ in and out of love with you,” I love near the end where he sings “longer if I do, yeah, now.”
I have a friend who sings part of this to me whenever he sees me. A lot of people don’t like this person. I think possibly part of why I like him so much is that everytime I see him, I know he’s going to sing “I think I could stay with you, for a while, maybe longer if I do” to me.
I’m easily won over.
“Amy’s Song” – Switchfoot
Oh, my goodness, this isn’t very good, is it? I don’t like these people’s voices and I don’t like the lyrics. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be saying. This Amy left and she left quite an impression? I guess? This is not a very good song. I’ve never heard of this band. Is anyone reading this a fan of this band? If so, can you explain to us why you’ve made this choice?
“Amy” – Paul Petersen
WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE. This is the kind of music a serial killer plays right before he slices your face into a permanent smile and dances around you wearing a kimono. This is…a song about a child in love with a grownup? Maybe? This singer seems to want Amy to go to jail for statutory rape. I DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS PAUL PETERSEN. Listen to how he moans “Amy” at the end. IT IS THE WORST.
(Also, check out his face on that album cover, and the titles of his other songs. “My Dad.” “She Can’t Find Her Keys.” I feel like he’s a joke singer on a Saturday Night Live skit.)
“Amie” – Damien Rice
(Side note: I am crazy for Damien Rice. CRAZY. I sometimes listen to his music on a continuous loop all day at work. Like, ALL DAY. If you want to woo me, play me Damien Rice. Sincerely. The love and pain and longing in this man’s voice just fills my whole chest up.)
I love this song. This is a beautiful, sad song. Like most Damien Rice songs, this is a love song where something is lost. I feel like all Damien Rice songs are about losing someone. When I’m sad over the end of something, I tend to listen to a LOT of Damien Rice. (Well, more than I usually do, which is a lot.) It’s not as good as some of his other songs – I can’t choose between “Rootless Tree,” “The Blower’s Daughter,” “Volcano,” and “9 Crimes” for my favorite Damien Rice song, because they’re all utterly the most brilliant things ever.
“Song for Amy” – Jack Ingram
This song is bland. If this song was a food, it would be cottage cheese. If this song was a weather, it would be sixty degrees. If this song was a television show, it would be a documentary about the production of cutlery.
Confession: I couldn’t even listen to all of this. It was putting me to sleep.
“She’s No Amy” – Ryan Turner
I don’t like this very much, but it makes me sad. I feel bad for the not-Amy in this song. Because I’ve totally been the not-Amy, and I’ve been the person putting someone else through the not-Amy hoops, waiting for the Amy to come home.
Emotions are terrible things sometimes, aren’t they?
He has a nice enough voice, I suppose. And it’s not a TERRIBLE song. It’s just not the best written thing in the land. But whoo. Memories.
“Amy” – Ryan Adams
(Side note: I adore Ryan Adams. He sings my favorite song of all time. There are a million billion songs in the world, and he sings the one I love most out of ALL of them. No, I can’t tell you what it is. It’s just for me. Also, he’s a talented singer and songwriter and gives an excellent concert and used to have just the best beard and you know my beard-thing.)
All of that being said, I don’t love this song. I think it’s because the BEST SONG IN THE WORLD has ruined all other Ryan Adams songs for me. This is ok, but I know he can do better, so I’m not blown away.
“Once in Love with Amy” – Frank Sinatra
(Side note: A lot of other people have covered this over the years, too, but if there’s a version with my man Frank, we’re listening to it.)
This is my other favorite Amy-song. It makes me so happy. Even though it’s a little confusing. Because if you listen to the lyrics closely, it tells you all the things you can do with this Amy – kiss her and romance her and buy her things – but she’s still in love with the singer. So why is she letting these other beaus do these things with her? That seems whorey. Stop cheating on your singer, other-Amy.
Eh, no matter. I am in love with this. Sometimes I sing it to myself. Someday, someone will sing this to me, and I will be the happiest girl who ever happied.
Another side note: I found this one the YouTubes and couldn’t not post it. Because Muppets.
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED TODAY, BLOGGONIANS?
- Winning today’s post are “One in Love with Amy” by Frank Sinatra, “Amie” by Pure Prairie League, and “Amie” by Damien Rice. Two out of the three of those, I’m head-over-heels for. I’m better with today’s choices than yesterday’s.
- Losing today’s post are “Amy’s Back in Austin” by A Country Singer with a Very Impressive Mullet; “Amy’s Song,” by Some Band I’d Have Been Happy to Never Have Heard of Had I Not Done This Post, and “Amy” by The Man Who Wrote and Performed Music for Only Serial Killers.
- If you are planning on wooing me, I’d bookmark this post for future consideration.
There we have it! That’s a lot of Amy songs. Some might say TOO many. Not me. Because I’m self-centered, you see. (What? I’d think as long as you can admit it, it’s ok, right? Right.)