Category Archives: tired

If you’re going to buy and sell me, you’re in for more trouble than I’m worth.

The weekend is over! Things happened this weekend. THINGS. Here are some things:

  • Opening night happened, a night later due to the blizzard. The blizzard, oddly, had a name. The name of the blizzard was Nemo. When did we start naming blizzards? Is this a thing we always did? If so, why was I not made aware of it? Also, isn’t Nemo an odd name for a storm? NEMO IS AN ADORABLE CARTOON FISH. Not a blizzard. (Also, the blizzard was more bark than bite. Did it snow? Yes. But not as much as they said it would. I think we ended up with maybe 6-8″? Tops? THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID. It made for a messy drive, and I got exhausted cleaning off the car, but otherwise, eh.)
  • That was too long to stay all one bullet point. ANYWAY, opening night happened. It went beautifully. The cast was spot-on, the lights and sound went off without a hitch (she says humbly, at least from the sound point of view) and the minute the cast came out for their bow, the audience gave them a huge standing ovation. I was so proud of the cast, and of friend A., who directed the hell out of that show. Then we had a champagne reception and everyone was so happy and complimentary, and I stayed up super-late and the review came out (not from the paper I review for, but for the other paper) and it was SO SO GOOD. You can totally read it. You don’t even have to pay to read this one. I think that’s because the Times Union has more money than my paper, I don’t even know. I was so excited to see this I texted friend A. in ALL-CAPS. ALL-CAPS TEXTING!!!
  • So after the show I stayed up way too late because there was a new Saturday Night Live but I might as well not have because both the host AND the musical guest was Justin Bieber and I JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE BIEBS. What is the appeal of this boy? Really? He’s not overly talented. I mean, he seems nice enough, but he’s just a kid with a pleasant, vaguely-female face. And he wasn’t even all that funny. Mostly he just kept looking vacantly around during the skits. I think he was trying hard, but it wasn’t really hard enough. But teen girls are INSANE about this kid. I just don’t get it. I just don’t. I guess I am too old?
  • Then I went to bed and at first I could not fall asleep because I was way overtired but guess what happened? I SLEPT FOR EIGHT STRAIGHT HOURS. I didn’t even wake up once. I woke up in the same position where I crashed out. Like I was a dead person. I woke up and looked at the clock and went OH HOLY HELL. It felt AMAZING. Then sj told me I’d really slept for 5 years, not 8 hours, and be careful when I went outside, because there were flying cars now. That made me laugh and laugh.
  • Then we had our matinee, which also went very well. And then I went out and bought a burrito for dinner as a treat and now I am watching The Walking Dead and then I will go to bed and attempt to get close to 8 hours of sleep AGAIN tonight, and won’t that be grand? Yes. Yes, it will.

    ZOMG, there is a badass Daryl Dixon meme. I approve. I HAVE MISSED YOU MY WONDERFUL DARYL!

    ZOMG, there is a badass Daryl Dixon meme. I approve. I HAVE MISSED YOU MY WONDERFUL DARYL!

  • Oh, at work on Saturday, at the answering service, some woman called all up-in-arms that her apartment complex hadn’t cleared her parking lot. I explained that we couldn’t page maintenance for that, because – per the apartment complex, in their OWN WORDS – “the clearing of snow is not an emergency that maintenance needs to be paged for.” She went BALLISTIC. “Do you know how much money I pay for this apartment? Do you know how much money I have in the bank? I COULD BUY AND SELL YOU. You are REQUIRED to call maintenance if I tell you to. YOU ARE MY EMPLOYEE. You are FORCING me to LIVE IN MY CAR. You will LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TALK. Don’t you DARE speak when you’re being spoken to.” Yep. This is the kind of thing I get at work, yo. I ended up hanging up on her after just repeating to her over and over I couldn’t help her per her complex and she’d have to take her complaints up with them when they opened again on Monday. “YOU WILL BE FIRED FOR THIS!” she screamed. Well, maybe, I don’t know. But probably not. I mean, it’s not OFTEN people are fired for following the rules of their jobs? But maybe. So I just told her “I’m sorry, there’s nothing more I can do for you, and this is fruitless for both of us, so I’m going to hang up now. I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more assistance.” She was still screaming when I hung up. Happy, happy, joy, joy. (SIDE NOTE: I pay half of what she does for the place that I live, but my maintenance people were clearing my lot when I woke up on Saturday. The whole lot was almost completely clear when I left. So I guess all the money in the world can’t buy you a parking spot, Lady McRicherson. Hope you liked sleeping in your Caddy. I know I enjoyed sleeping in my nice warm bed. Also, have fun buying and selling me; I don’t think you’ll make much. I’ve been used and abused, and most of my internal organs are either missing, just don’t work, or are completely broken and I don’t think are going to bounce back, so I can’t be worth more than about $1.27.)
  • Also, I bought a ticket to go see Stephen Sondheim talk at one of our local colleges in May. I AM GOING TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS STEPHEN SONDHEIM. I’m kind of hyperventilating about this right now. STEPHEN EFFING SONDHEIM YOU GUYS.

Tomorrow and Tuesday I’ll be at the theater again – we have auditions for our next show – and then I actually get to come HOME on Wednesday and Thursday! Well, I have to go grocery shopping one of those nights, and laundry the other night, but after that, HOME HOME HOME! It’s gotten to the point that when I come home, Dumbcat goes into a fury of happy. MOM MOM MOM YOU ARE HOME MOM! he says in his cheerful furry way, and then follows me around like a puppy, making chirpy meows like a bird-cat. Then if I actually get two seconds to sit on the couch, he curls up to my leg as if it is the best thing ever and purrs SO SO HARD. Also, earlier today he sneezed in my face. I think that might be the grossest. Why would your cat do that to you? MEAN.

This was supposed to be a music blog, wasn’t it? I was totally planning on posting about a music thing. I guess that will have to be tomorrow because it’s already getting late.

OH! Here is a story called “earlier in the week I was very sleepy.” So on Saturday I got dressed half-asleep and cleaned off the car and went to work. And after a few hours I went to the bathroom. As one does. And I was all, “why are these the most itchy underwear? These underwear are really itching me.”


Yes. I went to work with inside-out underwear. Now, I probably could have fixed them, but it seemed like a lot of work to take off my big snow boots and pants and such in the grubby work bathroom and fix them so I totally went through my entire day with inside -out underwear. And every time I went to the bathroom I just looked sadly at them and said to myself, “this is really a total sign that you have just given up. You have completely and totally given up right now.” AND I DID NOT EVEN CARE ENOUGH TO FIX THIS SITUATION. IT WAS TOO MUCH WORK.

SO CHEERFUL! I was not this cheerful, but I was resigned about the situation.

SO CHEERFUL! I was not this cheerful, but I was resigned about the situation.

You will be pleased to know that my undergarments are on correctly today. And are much less scratchy since the lacy bits are right-side out, not wrong-side in.

They tell you the side-effects of not enough sleep are trouble concentrating, crankiness, forgetfulness, uneven motor skills, things like that. They do NOT tell you that you might space out and put on your panties inside-out and then just not have the energy to rectify the situation. I think there should be a PSA about such a thing. I mean, this would scare the kids, you know? Make them not as apt to stay up all hours partying and such? I mean, INSIDE OUT UNDERWEAR, you guys. This is not a laughing matter.

(The internet told me if you wear your underwear accidentally inside-out, you will have an especially lucky day. I didn’t. So therefore, your superstition is invalid. I TESTED IT. IT IS NOT TRUE.)

Also, I have read ALL the books over the past week; time in the light booth gives you plenty of time to read. Kindle-books and tree-books. We will discuss the pros and cons of both in a future post. All I know is, I read and read and read this week. I finished three books and am well on my way to finishing a fourth. Being able to read again? An absolutely amazing feeling. Just a brilliant one. Getting lost in a book was something I’ve been missing so much. And honestly I need to be getting lost in book-world, because I’m not having the best time in Amy-world at the moment, so it’s nice being in book-world. I’d almost forgotten that aspect of reading, and the main reason I did so much of it as a younger-me – it lets you not be you for a while. Thanks, books.

Two more days of theater hell, then only two more brief weekends of it. I’m the little engine that could right now. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Penguins and punk rock and cats in casual officewear and I am not sleeping enough.

Quick “I am not dead” check in.

I am not dead. But if I don’t get more sleep, I’m going to be dead, so this is going to be the shortest post known to man, seriously.

The show is going beautifully; we have a pay-what-you-will preview tonight, we open tomorrow. Well, if the SNOWPOCALYPSE doesn’t hit. We’re supposed to get like a foot of snow on Friday or something. Dad’s all freaked out. “I AM WORRIED ABOUT THIS SNOW SITUATION!” he bellowed when I called him.

I'm in the 10-14" area. Gulp gulp.

I’m in the 10-14″ area. Gulp gulp.

We will either cancel or not cancel. I don’t know. We’ll see.

I wanted to embed this but apparently I cannot so you have to go the extra mile and click, but it’s worth it, I promise.

The inimitable Elaine posted this to my Facebook wall the other day and I have played it a billion times because I can’t get enough of it.

It is a penguin falling. It’s like ten seconds long. You have to watch it, because if I tell you what happens, it ruins the cute factor. PENGUINS YOU GUYS PENGUINS BEING ADORABLE.

Also, I saw American Idiot the other night.

I was blown away. That is not a spoiler for my review, because by the time you read this, my review will already have been published. (There it is, but it costs you $2, sorry, all.) It was fantastic. It was grungy and raw and loud and edgy and intelligent and so unlike anything I’ve seen locally that I just sat there and alternately grinned or had my mouth agape for an hour and a half. I am not a very good reviewer. If anyone knows I’m the reviewer, they can probably tell the tone of my review by watching my face in the dark as the show progresses. I have no poker face. If I like something, it’s painfully obvious. (And, conversely, if I dislike something? Look out, I have the MADDEST FACE EVER. Or if I’m sad? ALL THE CRYING.)

This was my favorite song. Mostly because it made me cry tears of real teariness right down my face. Sometimes I like to cry, like when something’s very pretty. Sometimes, when it hits when I’m driving home from the theater and I think of a sad thing that didn’t come to mind before that very moment and is heavy in my heart, I do not. Because you know how they tell you not to text and drive? Crying and driving is ALSO not recommended. Because of the vision issues.

Please ignore the stupid popups in this video. I don’t know what the hell.

My beating heart belongs to you/I walked for miles til I found you/I’m here to honor you

(NO, I didn’t know about this song before the musical. See, I don’t listen to whole albums very often. We’ll be talking about this in a future post when I’m not getting 5 hours of sleep a night and walking around like a zombie and making the same typo three times in a row. So I knew SOME of the songs in the musical, but not many. Just the ones that they’d played on the radio, pretty much. I totally just downloaded the whole musical for my phone and am now seeing that iTunes is going to get me in a lot of trouble because it makes it very easy to spend money.)

Now I have to go to bed. I am so tired sometimes I am seeing double. I asked sj if I could dress Dumbcat like me and send him to work for me today. She said I could, but he wouldn’t even put on my shoes, so that was a bust.

Why yes Momee's boss I wuld love to tyep that fore yew but I do note know how to use the glowy type box thank ewe where are my treeetz?

Why yes Momee’s boss I wuld love to tyep that fore yew but I do note know how to use the glowy type box thank ewe where are my treeetz?

Happy happy whatever the hell day it is today and I hope you are all well and good and that you are filled with ribaldry. We all like ribaldry, right? Right-o, we do.

Who the hell is Guzman, autocorrect?

I’m attempting to blog from my Kindle. This might be disastrous. Also, I might miss a cue. I’m making the director nervous. I’m so not paying attention fully.

The show is going well and is lovely. This is our first full dress rehearsal. We have one more, then pay-what-you-will Thursday, then opening night. Eeee! Exciting, right?

Yesterday at tech funny things happened, like the purchasing of do-rags (and the incorrect wearing of them) and many giggle-inducing moments. One actor’s hat was too small. “He looks like a fat Zorro,” friend A. said. Today he has a new hat. I miss fat Zorro. He was like a cartoon.

It was kind of like this, only a cowboy/Zorro hat. Google image search is not being at all helpful. This is like fat military guy and that's not at all as funny as fat Zorro.

It was kind of like this, only a cowboy/Zorro hat. Google image search is not being at all helpful. This is like fat military guy and that’s not at all as funny as fat Zorro.

Also, a very bright blue light was installed in the booth; friend A. and I can’t look at it or we risk burning out our retinas. I told the costume designer I was going to come in wearing body glitter; in this light, I’d look like a Twilight vampire. Bite bite bite emo bite.

OMG, maybe it's not a blue light, maybe it's EXTRATERRESTRIAL IN ORIGIN. Eep!

OMG, maybe it’s not a blue light, maybe it’s EXTRATERRESTRIAL IN ORIGIN. Eep!

And someone here believes everything here can be repaired by shooting canned air into it. I’ve been saying that for everything that goes wrong. Actor drops a line? Canned air. Broken prop? Canned air. Costume doesn’t fit? Canned air. Too-small fat-Zorro hat? Canned effing air, baby.

Or maybe he has a huffing problem, I didn't even think of that. Heh, "Blow Off."

Or maybe he has a huffing problem, I didn’t even think of that. Heh, “Blow Off.”

Today, I brought the car to the shop. For four hours. And $700. Things I got for my money: two new tires, new rear brakes, new transmission gasket and pan, various labor. That seems like a lot, yeah? It’s more than my monthly rent, yo. And the catalytic converter is still borked. That needs fixing soon, too. And will be $700 more dollars, huzzah!

(Autocorrect on the Kindle changed that last word to “Guzman” for some reason; I spent ten minutes silently snort-laughing about “And will be $700 more dollars, Guzman!”)

Luis Guzman, autocorrect? Do you mean Luis Guzman?

Luis Guzman, autocorrect? Do you mean Luis Guzman?

It is now the next day. It took me most of the night to hunt-and-peck out about 250 words on the Kindle. That…seems like not the best way to be blogging, yo. I only screwed up one sound cue terribly, and in a funny twist, it wasn’t even when I was blogging. ALSO, the Kindle is very good for reading in the light booth; I am very pleased with this purchase. AND, I did make you a video of rehearsal, but it is too far away and too small and very quiet so I will not post it here. I can’t figure out how to zoom on the iPhone camera. I was easily able to zoom with my Android phone. Why is this so difficult, iPhone, I ask you? Hmm? I sent it to Andreas (WHO, by the way, I will be meeting in LESS THAN A MONTH) and he said it was very hard to see and hear. Then I was able to watch it today and he was very right. So, no. You cannot see it. Sorry. It is not indicative of the good work the cast is doing over there.

(DUH ME. I just researched it and NOW I know how to do it. I’m…technologically challenged, leave me alone already.)

I do wish you could have seen fat Zorro, though. I am giggling just thinking about that right now, and it’s been like 48 hours.

This is half the length of a me-post, but I don’t know when I’ll get to blog again, so at least it’s SOMETHING. I’m going to see American Idiot tonight and then reviewing it for the paper, and then one more dress rehearsal, then pay-what-you-will (which is also final dress), then opening night. Send me break-a-leg vibes! Also, send me stay-awake vibes, I’m totally exhausted!

State of the state, with added insani-lunacy.

Howdy! Here we are at Thursday. Quick checking-in-with-Amy post, how about that? Good, good. It’s like the state of the union address, only much less interesting and much less likely to be torn apart and mocked on Fox News.

So this week is not total lunacy. This week had a couple of things in it, but it’s not too bad. Three days I get to go home after work and put my feet up. (That’s a total exaggeration. I don’t put my feet up. I don’t have anything to put them on. They stay on the floor.) Monday I had a very long day. Here, I will make it into a bulleted list for you. We all like bulleted lists, right?

  • Went to work. Worked for a while. Realized it was snowing all the snow. Hadn’t watched the weather forecast all weekend; was not prepared for all the snow. No winter weather gear; highly inappropriate footwear.
  • Left early for lunch, but did not go to lunch. Instead, brought the car to the garage. The car decided to go from “I am being mildly annoying” to “I AM BROKEN HELP ME I AM BROKEN!” *flailing arms* on Sunday and started bucking wildly whenever I accelerated or braked and the check engine light came on, so THAT’S fun. Especially when it’s slippery out.
  • Went to the garage. I have a total crush on my garage guy. He’s not hot or anything. He’s just nice. And good with cars. And practical. Therefore, I randomly find him attractive. I feel as if he would be the kind of person who would be good at solving all of life’s problems as easily as he solves my car’s problems. He said, “Hey! What’s going on?” when he saw me because he likes me. I like that.
  • He took the car for a test drive after I explained what was up. “It’s bucking? Like a horse? And also the warning lights are coming on for things that aren’t wrong, like the emergency brake? And the check engine light is on? And I think it’s not accelerating correctly, like maybe it’s not shifting, but I don’t know that, because it’s an automatic and not a standard? Is any of this helping at all?” He laughed kindly and said, “I’m going to take it for a drive. Be right back.” I like him. A lot.
  • He came back and said, “It didn’t do any of those things for me. But when I hooked it up to the computer, it says you need a new catalytic converter. That’s $700. Instead, buy good gas and put this gunk in the gas tank for a few weeks, then come back in for your inspection and we’ll talk options.” (No, he didn’t say “gunk.”) “Am I ok to drive it?” I asked, “Um, yes? I guess, it’s not doing anything for me,” he said. So back to the bucky car goes I. Which immediately bucked. Dammit. (Dad says “Yeah, that car’s about to shit the bed. SIGH SIGH daughter. You are hard on cars.” How am I hard on cars? I totally get oil changes in a timely fashion and sometimes get them washed and always get gas and only go above the speed limit MOST of the time, not ALL of the time. I think I am NORMAL with cars.)

    Apparently this is the culprit. And it seems like it has a waffle in it. Yum, waffles.

    Apparently this is the culprit. And it seems like it has a waffle in it. Yum, waffles.

  • Then I went back to work and worked the rest of the day. The roads were terrible, because all the snow and slush and garbage on them. Slippery and disgusting. And, again, not appropriate shoes. Or a hat.
  • THEN I had to go straight to the theater for a theater meeting. So off I went. The highway was so backed up. I don’t know why. I assume everyone was driving slowly, because of the weather? Blergh.
  • At the meeting, we decided not to decide anything. Mostly I repeated the following: “I don’t care, I just want this to be over.” This probably is not the most helpful thing to do at a meeting, but I am…exhausted. I feel like we’ve been talking about the same thing in circles forever. We really haven’t. It’s only been about a month or two. But I feel like it’s been years, and I’m SO TIRED.
  • Then we had the critique for our next show. At this point, I was on overload. I’d been going since 6am. It was now 7pm. SO SO BEYOND TIRED. The play was very good; it made me cry pretty much throughout. Which might have been a function of the play or might have been because when I’m tired, I start leaking tears and sometimes it doesn’t stop until I get some sleep. Or a little of both. Either way, the play is very good, and I’m pleased, because that means friend A. did a great job directing it, and I can tell everyone they should come and see it and not even be lying a little bit, and since I have to watch the show every time it’s performed starting Sunday, I won’t be wanting to throttle myself by Wednesday, which is nice.

    Aw, look, my play, you guys! Awesome, yeah?

    Aw, look, my play, you guys! Awesome, yeah?

  • Then we watched the play, which is kind of long (very good, but not a brief play), and then there was the critique, which was ALSO kind of long, and then after about half an hour of that, I said, “Friend A.! Can I give you my notes at work tomorrow?” and he said yes, so I skedaddled. (Friend A. is apparently much better at long days than I am, as he had the same length day as I did but he was still up and lively. He’s also 7 years younger than I am, so he’s like a BABY. With all that youthful energy. All that youthful early-thirties energy. Remember that? No, me either. Too long ago.)
  • Then I came home. I got home at 11. So, yes, my day was 15 hours long. That is too long. TOO LONG. Then I still had to get ready for bed, so all in all, I got a full 5.5 hours sleep, and I feel like a sticky-eyed zombie-person.

So there was my Monday. Loooong day.

Anyway, here’s the scoop for what’s upcoming:

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, normal days. Work, home, relax a little. One of those days I have to go grocery shopping. Probably Thursday. Keep my fingers crossed the car doesn’t stop working while I’m driving.

Friday night, friend C. comes to town, and we’re going to see Company of Thieves at a local bar (or club, I don’t even know, I just bought the tickets, I haven’t done the research yet) doing an acoustic show, which will be amazing and wonderful. I’m so excited. Then friend C. is spending the night, and I took the day off work on Saturday so I can sleep in and depending on how long she stays, we might even be able to go get some breakfast. I’m hoping waffles. It’s been much too long since waffles happened.

Company of Thieves here we come! So excited!

Company of Thieves here we come! So excited!

Then Saturday is for me, and I think I will spend it doing laundry. Because I am nothing if not a good time.

Sunday is tech day for my show. I get there at 10, I think we’re planning on about a 6-hour day (but they usually run long.) I’m running something in the booth. I’m not sure what. Lights or sound. (Update: friend A. says sound. That’s ok with me. He’s going to be in the booth with me, which I love. He makes me laugh.) I have to make brownies for tech Sunday at some point, too. Crap, I’m glad I remembered that. Um, maybe Saturday sometime? I’ll squeeze that in there?

Then Monday, tech right after work; Tuesday, I go to a theater and review a play; Wednesday, tech; Thursday, pay-what-you-will preview; Friday, opening night; shows Saturday and Sunday; auditions for the next show Monday and Tuesday. That is ten straight days at a theater, 9 at mine, 1 at another. It’s going to be a long haul and I don’t know that there will be blogging. Maybe? But maybe not. So if I go missing for 10 days, I am not dead. I’m just not getting enough sleep and hanging out in the light booth. I’ll check in with Twitter to reassure you of my living-ness, if I get a chance.

Most honestly, I am dealing with some personal issues that have me…kind of…not feeling the most communicative. So it’s not going to be the worst thing in the world to take a break from things, to be honest. I’ve found myself apologizing a lot for my mood to people over the past few days, and apparently cannot be trusted with it. So it might just be best if I shushed for a bit, for all involved. I’ve often said living in my brain is no cakewalk; this is the part of the cakewalk where it’s more of a house of horrors than a cakewalk, kiddos. With those funhouse mirrors that distort everything, and a lot of that looped screaming in the background that makes you all ultra on-edge.

It's one of those "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave" situtations, unfortunately.

It’s one of those “you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave” situtations, unfortunately.

Sometimes these things happen, jellybeans, it’s the way of the world for those of us with wonky brain chemistry. As The Bloggess in all her wisdom tells us, the crocodiles are always there. Eventually it stops. It’s just not overly fun while it’s here. But you live your life. It’s what you do. Because what’s the alternative, curling up in a ball and crying for a few months? No. That seems wearying, you know? Who has time for that? I mean, you’d have to hydrate a LOT for that magnitude of crying, seriously. I don’t think I have that much fruit punch mix.

So if I’m not bloggy for the next week or ten days or so, I’m HERE, I’m just theatering. Theatrically. Shows don’t just stage-manage themselves, my darling dear ones. It’ll be fine. I have a beeeeeelion archives for you to work your way through. Surely you haven’t read ALL my past posts. (Speaking of which? This here post? #600. SIX! HUNDRED! I know, right? Whoa!) I might have time to write from the theater because there’s free wifi there, but there are also a LOT of cues in this show. So we’ll see what happens. Honestly, I’m going to be lucky to sleep and eat in a timely fashion.

Off I go. It is time to watch the rest of ParaNorman and eat some pudding. As one does. On a Wednesday night. Right? Right. Here I come, pudding. Here I come, the rest of ParaNorman. Wish me luck, interwebs.

It's actually really enjoyable. Zombies and kind of quirky. I like it a lot.

It’s actually really enjoyable. Zombies and kind of quirky. I like it a lot.

Never eat shredded wheat: a sign my brain is broken.

Are there only two days left in the year? Really? Huh. That’s…kind of abrupt, really, right?

Today we had blizzard number two in the week of blizzards. Well, I guess two blizzards doesn’t really make it a WEEK of blizzards but if you hate driving in snow so so much it seems like it. Also, this is the flu that will not stop, and I am FREEZING. Which is not like me, as I am usually warm like a little stove. So that’s been fun with the cold cold snow and the having to clean off the car and such. Leave it to me to fall in love with a place that is so COLD this time of year. Brrr.

This photo was in the Times Union. This happened to my car once. It was not easy to dig out of, I can tell you right now.

This photo was in the Times Union. This happened to my car once. It was not easy to dig out of, I can tell you right now.

So far, however, I have not slid off the road or into anything, so I consider that a winter win so far. WINNING WINTER!

I have had a very long day and kind of want to go to bed soon so we’re going to ramble for a bit and then wind this up and go to bed. I know. Sorry, lemon drops. My brain’s scattery today and I want to put on pajamas and fall asleep so I can turn my brain off for a bit. YES! I KNOW! It is SHOCKING, even old Lucy’s Football gets weary, even though she seems like she might be like the Energizer Bunny sometimes. It is true. And I am especially weary right now.

SO, apparently, they still want me to review at the paper, because I got two more assignments next month. YAY! It is by far my favorite thing ever. One of my assignments is going to be VERY exciting because it’s not only at a new theater I’ve never been to, it’s in a TOWN I’ve never been in. An hour away! Well, THAT’S exciting! I wish it was during the day so I could enjoy the drive more and see all the things to see. When I told Dad this, he said “Where is it?” and I said, “Far.” “FAR IS NOT A DIRECTION!” he said, and laughed and laughed. But to me, far TOTALLY is a direction. Without my GPS, I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere, seriously. So I looked it up and I said, “It is…um…never eat shredded wheat NORTHEAST FROM HERE.” And Dad said, “What the hell? Shredded wheat? You sound like Rainman.” and I said, “Um. Heh. Yes. This is…how I know…the points on a compass?” “The…what is wrong with you. What are you talking about? You’re going insane,” said my supportive father.

I also think Compass Rose is one of the most beautiful names for anything ever.

I also think Compass Rose is one of the most beautiful names for anything ever.

See, you know how you get a map, and sometimes there’s a compass on it, and sometimes there isn’t? But usually there’s at least something that points north so at least you know which way is north. Anyway, a very helpful friend in college who was also one of the best artists I have ever known taught me that there’s an easy way to remember the points on a compass: clockwise from the N, you say “Never Eat Shredded Wheat.” See? North East South West. Now I KNOW some of you don’t NEED this trick and probably just know the points of the compass like all intuitively or whatever, and to that, I say, huzzah to you. I am the kind 0f person who not ONLY needs this little mneumonic trick, but ALSO needs to hold up her left and right hands at times, make an “L” out of her thumb and forefinger, and knows which one is her left hand by which hand has the forward-facing “L”. I refuse to think of this as a SHORTCOMING, per se. I think of this as freeing up my mind for more important things, like the lyrics to “Everybody Wants Something” from Degrassi Junior High episodes in the 80s and every hurtful thing everyone’s ever said or done to me and how it felt to see my very first movie in the movie theater when I was four. These things are IMPORTANT. More important than knowing which foot to put in when someone says to put your left foot in, come on. When’s that going to come in handy? Weddings? Well, that’s dumb, I’m not participating in that shit.

Shut up, it's totally a thing, I found this on a kids' learning site. IT IS A THING!

Shut up, it’s totally a thing, I found this on a kids’ learning site. IT IS A THING!

Anyway, once I explained this to Dad, he was SO DISGUSTED, and he said, “You’d better not go anywhere without your GPS. You scare me. YOU SCARE ME. Shredded Wheat. Even your MOTHER knows the POINTS on a COMPASS. Even! Your! Mother!”

Sorry, Dad. I am a total disappointment, directionally.

I am also reviewing a show at the fancy theater in Schenectady, which is always a joy. AND, I totally bought tickets for a show ALL ON MY OWN which was exciting because I could afford to do so for once. YAY ME! So I get to see at least three shows next month!

AND, in news of VERY EXCITINGNESS, I totally made the leap into the 21st century and made a major purchase last week. I have been tracking it ever since; it’s set for delivery Wednesday.




Not ONLY am I FINALLY getting an ereader, it is also kind of a TABLET and does things like CONNECT TO THE INTERNET and I can tweet and Facebook and such on it. And watch television and movies and listen to music and ALL THE THINGS YOU GUYS. And isn’t it so PRETTY? I am so excited. It’s my Christmas present to myself. I even did research and such. Also, my library has an excellent selection of e-books to check out for Kindle, and this is awesome, because I can totally get books from the LIBRARY for it. Don’t worry, paper books will still happen. But I’ve been coveting one of these for a while, and it’s been a tough go for a while. I deserved a present. And I had the money to GET that present. I’m kind of so excited I’m bouncing. I’m sure I will tell you all about it until you are all SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR STUPID KINDLE.

Today is “Amy lazes on the couch and finally watches The Avengers” day. I finally got it from the library, it only took a bazillion years. I am very excited and might not even change out of my pajamas all day. That’s a lie, I hate being in pajamas all day. I feel gross and like I stopped trying. When I was so sick and didn’t feel like changing I couldn’t even call the Chinese food deliveryman because I was all pajama-d up and felt repulsive and didn’t want anyone seeing me like that. I KNOW! I COULD NOT EVEN ORDER SOUP.

That is enough rambling. I have important things to do like eat popsicles and catch up on episodes of Grimm (MONROE!!!) and then go to bed. I know, I really live quite a charmed life, no? Happy last Sunday of the year, all. Enjoy your day!

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