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The new kid in town

Moving to a new area (especially after spending over a decade in the last area) there’s a bit of a transitional period. I mean, more than you have to unpack everything and put everything away and figure out where the closest grocery store is. Of course I’ve done that. If I hadn’t, I’d probably have starved to death by now (or tripped over a box in my living room and broken my neck and Dumbcat would have eaten my face.)

I WILL EAT YOUR FAYCE, MOMME.

I WILL EAT YOUR FAYCE, MOMME.

No, it’s more the little things you have to get used to and relearn about your new place before you can feel truly at home there. Those are the things that keep popping up and tripping you up and reminding you that you’re a newbie.

THINGS THAT KEEP CONFUSING AND UPSETTING (AND SOMETIMES DELIGHTING) ME IN MY NEW HOME!

  • Where all the local towns are. I have to ask people at work this ALL! THE! TIME! A lot of my job is sorting towns on this one website by county (we serve a tri-county area, with a few forays into the other surrounding counties) and I have to look up all these towns online to find out where they are, and I’m forever asking my coworkers “OMG WHERE IS COPENHAGEN!” (Side note: Copenhagen is actually a town here, not just a town in Denmark. TRUE FACTS!) And then they explain to be “that’s south of us” or whatever and I have no sense of direction and they have to show it to me on a map and I’m still all “where is north” and then they all laugh at me because I am a freak of nature but also lovable like a stuffed animal made of hugs.

    Also, see Theresa? You pronounce the "h." THE-resa. I have a LOT to learn.

    Also, see Theresa? You pronounce the “h.” THE-resa. I have a LOT to learn.

  • The local news. We have one local news channel (THIS IS OUR COMPETITION! We watch this broadcast in the newsroom at night to make sure we have all of the big stories. And if we had them first, we like to say “WE SCOOPED YOU!” OK, fine, I’m the only one who says that. But I say it with a LOT of enthusiasm.) The local news is fine (they make a lot of typos on their website, which I like to point out and laugh at) except they have this local sports guy who makes me want to light both my eyeballs and eardrums on fire. His name is Busler. I don’t know what his first name is. (The website says it’s Mel.) He looks and talks like Champ from Anchorman. And he does this thing called “Busler’s Beauties” where he narrates sports plays with things like “Uh-oh! Spaghettios!” when someone falls down in a really obnoxious voice. According to my coworkers, who also think he’s got the most annoying voice ever, he’s a very generous guy who raises a lot of money locally for charities, so I suppose I shouldn’t pick on him. But when his segment of the news comes on, I always say “CAN WE TURN OFF THE NEWS NOW?” and coworker R. always says “Oh, yes, SORRY AMY!” because he knows Busler’s Beauties makes me want to stab kittens.
    Doesn't goold old Mel Busler...

    Doesn’t goold old Mel Busler…

    ...look like Champ from "Anchorman?" I totally want the WWNY team to get in a rumble with PBS. I would watch that.

    …look like Champ from “Anchorman?” I totally want the WWNY team to get in a rumble with PBS. I would watch that.

  • The local commercials. This should be a side-note to the last one, because good old Mel Busler does about 3/4 of the local commercials. He’s selling cars and vacations and who even knows what else. Also, there’s this one local commercial where a car company has their kids (grandkids? I don’t even know) do the commercial, and the little girl says “IT’S CRAAAAAZY!” with this weird look to and then away from the camera and the finger-around-her-ear gesture that signifies crazy and it makes me insane so I guess the fact that it MAKES me crazy means it’s working. I’m used to local commercials starring my friends (one of the best parts of being friends with the actors in the area!) so seeing these is jarring and weirdo-times.

    (This one actually isn’t THAT cheesy, but it provides you some local flavor. And now you totally all want frozen yogurt, don’t you? I’ve been to this place. It was a weird time of the day and most of the good flavors were gone but if I go back on another day I’m sure I’ll have better luck with it. There really are a billion toppings.)
  • Local stores and restaurants. FIRST you have to deal with the fact that you miss all of your favorite restaurants (Ala Shanghai – *sniff*) and find NEW favorite restaurants (I’ve found some that will do, but none that I’m crazy about yet. However, I’ve only been here 5 months.) Then you have to find your way amongst new and perplexing stores. There’s a store here called Herb Philipson’s (which seems like kind of a outdoorsy Big Lots? Like, it sells a lot of camo gear, but also random bins of sunscreen? I don’t even know.) I cannot remember the name of Herb Philipson’s to save my life. So whenever I talk about it I call it Harvey Fierstein’s. Dad always says, “IT IS NOT HARVEY FIERSTEIN’S!” So now of COURSE I call it that ALL! THE! TIME! (In this town’s defense, I have to applaud it for its shopping and restaurant choices. We have more shopping and eating venues here than you’d imagine. It’s kind of impressive.)
    It's Herb Philipson's!

    It’s Herb Philipson’s!

    Not Harvey Fierstein's! I AM SHOCKED WITH YOU, AMY!

    Not Harvey Fierstein’s! I AM SHOCKED WITH YOU, AMY!

  • Finding a new local radio station. I had FINALLY found a station I loved in Albany, with a nice mix of alt-folksy-rock and sometimes they’d play Pink, and now I have to start all over again. I’ve found one that randomly plays “Oops I Did It Again” and then five seconds later plays “Pour Some Sugar on Me” so I like that it’s unpredictable, but I need an alternative channel for my Brandi Carlile days. I don’t think we have that here. SIGH SIGH. Yeah, I know, that’s what the music on your phone is for, but I really like not knowing what’s coming up on the radio. It’s like a Magic 8-Ball of music for me. I’m easily amused.
  • Learning all the local lore. In Albany, you had Mayor McCheese, with the most prodigious orange tan (who left office right before I moved away.) Now I have to get used to our NEW mayor, who has a blog and owns a bar and is said to have an eye for the lay-deez. I have to re-learn things like “don’t eat there, because food poisoning” and “this is where the best coffee is” and “don’t trust that, because LIES” and “OMG, that’s the part of town where you’re going to get hooked on heroin, don’t drive there” and “that’s a stabmurderer, don’t slow down, JUST KEEP DRIVING.”
    This is my current mayor. He's nowhere near orange enough to be a mayor.

    This is my current mayor. He’s nowhere near orange enough to be a mayor.

    Right, Former Mayor McCheese?

    Right, Former Mayor McCheese?

I’m sure there are many more, but these are the ones that keep standing out. I say “HELP ME I AM NEW!” over and over at work, and my coworkers, who are sparkly-shiny-wonderful, always help, which is reason number 47 billion and 4 that I love them more than anything. They want me to fit in. I love that about them. (And in return, I tell them stories about my hometown, which is one of the counties we cover now and then, and sometimes I know people we write about because they’re someone I remember from my childhood so I give them the inside scoop and it makes them laugh.)

Until next time, my little chickadees. May you find a radio station that’s always playing your favorite songs and may you visit Harvey Fierstein’s, where I assume they would sell feather boas and FABULOUS false eyelash kits at an amazing discount!

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

41 responses to “The new kid in town

  • Jenn B.

    Omg!!! I’d love to shop at Harvey Fiersteins! Haha….you crack me up, Amy!

    Like

  • Charleen

    That actually sounds like an awesome radio station. Not that either of those songs is among my favorites or anything, but I like the eclectic mix. That’s kind of what listening to my mp3 collection is like… Pink! Bon Jovi! Evanescence! Billy Joel! Christina Aguilera! Journey!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      What’s even cooler is they just moved into the building next door to my office, so I like to pretend they’re playing that music JUST FOR ME! (It really is the best one I’ve found locally so far – there are a couple out of Canada that aren’t bad, since we’re close enough to Canada to get their radio channels, but the local commercials on there are perplexing and for weird Canadian places and I like to hear commercials for things I can actually BUY if I want them!)

      And that’s totally what listening to the music on my phone is like, too – it skips from country to oldies to pop to folk and I’m sure would give anyone but me whiplash!

      Like

  • kbridges24

    Lol, I completely understand your pain being the “new kid!” I’ve moved 4 times in less than a year! It’s crazy!

    Like

  • The Bold Bluebonnet

    Hilarious post. Thanks for putting a smile on my face! Not orange enough to be mayor…I love it!

    Like

  • grrgoyl

    Actually (in that picture anyway), I think he looks much more like Kevin from The Office.

    Like

  • earthandink

    Okay, we get Albany’s NPR in Western Mass, so now I want to know the radio station you liked. Because we have similar music taste. (Also, have you thought about listening to them online? I bet they’re streaming. It doesn’t help for the car, but it would be good for at home. Although it doesn’t orient you to the neighborhood and the neighbors.)

    I really, really want my next move to be my last. Really. Last. No more new kid.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Oh, crap, now I don’t remember! EEK! I know I loved WEXT – which I think you would LOVE, lots of alt-rock, smaller musicians (sometimes unsigned), older music (one day I heard Tori Amos from the 90s, I was so happy!) but that wasn’t the channel I was listening to right before I left, and I can’t for the life of me think of what that one WAS! It was more poppy, but it also had some older music on it…hmm…AH! Research tells me it was The River, 99.5. (But I think you’d like WEXT more. More of a hometown vibe, and REALLY good music!)

      And – agreed. No more moves. I want to make a home, and a life, and a difference, and I want to do it all in one place from here on out. I wish that for BOTH of us.

      Like

      • earthandink

        Thank you!!! I have listened to the River. I need to find WEXT.

        And yes! I have one more move to go. Then I would like to call it done. And I want you happily home too! (Where you are sounds very promising.)

        Like

        • lucysfootball

          Here’s WEXT – I think you’ll love them!

          Where I am has both good and bad about it – if this job could be magically transported to Albany, I’d be the happiest woman alive. Sadly, I don’t think there’s a Wizard-of-Oz tornado scheduled to do such a thing. (And maybe the people I work with would be completely different, were they to live elsewhere – who knows?) But other than the missing Albany (and my friends, and the theater!) this is a very good place overall, and I think I could easily make a home of it. I’ve lived in much worse places, that’s for sure!

          Like

  • Linda Anselmi

    Having moved so many times, I got used to never knowing anyone. Now it seems odd to run into someone I know. I kind of go into a mental shocked state of — Oh, wow, I know him/her and then panic trying to place the from where …

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I used to run into people I knew all the time – now it’s kind of nice to go and run errands kind of anonymously. (And I’m the same way! I never know where I know people from, and I have this whole “WHO ARE YOU!” thing going on in my head until I figure it out! So embarrassing!)

      Liked by 1 person

    • becomingcliche

      And do I know them from work, or college, or high school, or church, or that my kid’s school, or my other kid’s school, or is that a cashier from Wal-mart? The older I get, the more people I realize I have come into contact. And only vaguely remember.

      Liked by 1 person

  • ScorpionGlow

    You crack me up. Have a great weekend, hon! :)

    Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    Quick tip: north is at the top of a map. But you knew that already, didn’t you?

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      See, here’s the thing. I know north is at the top of the map (and I even know which way the other directions are by using a handy mnemonic) but it’s in the real world I’m in trouble. Some people can tell which way is north because they know what way they’d go to get to Canada, or in what direction the sun rises/sets, etc. Me? I get lost going to work if I don’t pay attention…and I’ve been here 5 months and I live 3 minutes (and 3 turns, 2 rights and a left) from my office. I seriously was born without a compass in my brain-area. I think someone needs to do a study about this.

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    You know, I’ve never had frozen yogurt in my life. Except as a mobile phone operating system.

    Liked by 1 person

  • becomingcliche

    It has been a long time since I was new anywhere, but it is definitely a challenge. I remember living in the back of beyond and no one having any restaurant recommendations beyond McDonald’s. In their defense, the community was so small that it was all there really WAS. I love that your coworkers help you out and have similar tastes so you’re directed toward the smaller stuff and not just chains. I went to Herb’s website because I’d never heard of it. Lots going on there on that website. I can only imagine what the stores are like!

    WordPress doesn’t like my comment. Let’s see if I can make it post anyway.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      My coworkers really are wonderful. They always have a million tips and suggestions for me (but not annoying unsolicited ones – they’re argue over “no, she’ll like THIS better!” “NO, THIS!” and it makes me laugh!)

      I’ve never been in Harvey Fierstein/Herb Philipson’s, but now that Dad knows I have one, he’s all fired-up to visit, so I’m sure I’ll visit soon. I’ll have to let you all know what’s going on in there!

      Like

  • Karen Van Benschoten

    I moved up, to many radio stations (mostly Milwaukee), and more than three channels to watch on the TV.

    Like

  • koolaidmoms

    This made me laugh. It showed up randomly in my WP for following you. The funny thing though is I grew up in Watertown, NY. I now live in Southwest Michigan but it is all so true!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      What are the odds? That’s so funny! I just got here 5 months ago – I’m working for the paper – and it’s been a little bit of a culture shock. (I was in Albany for 12 years before this, but I did grow up in the area, so I’m not COMPLETELY in shock at the winter or the NNY attitude, which I think is very particular to this one area of the world!)

      I’m learning my way, slowly but surely! Thanks for the follow and I hope to keep bringing up memories of your time in upstate NY! :)

      Liked by 1 person

      • koolaidmoms

        Even better my dad worked at the paper for 40 years!

        I went to Rochester after college and just moved to a small town in SW Michigan (smaller than Watertown) so I totally get the culture shock.

        Like

        • lucysfootball

          NO WAY! That is AWESOME! (I love it here beyond words. This is, by far, the best job I’ve ever had, and the people working here are amazing!)

          I don’t know if I could do a town smaller than Watertown! I love bigger cities so much! (Although this place does have excellent shopping/dining opportunities, and now with being able to shop online, it’s not as big of a deal as it was when I was a kid!)

          Liked by 1 person

  • Jay

    Oh, local commercials! Fun for everyone.

    Like

  • suburbansmalltown

    Sounds like you’re starting to get the swing of things with your move. It’s so hard to get out of the routine of your old town.. and so sad since it’s what you’re used to. I have to say I’m very jealous you found a radio station. I just moved and most of the time spent in the car is scanning between commercials and static because I drove 10 feet and no longer pick up the station. It’s a hard life…

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      That takes forever, doesn’t it – finding a new good station? I’ve found a couple that will do, and found a list of local stations that shows promise, so someday I wil sit in the car and flip around and program my presets with the ones that I love the most. Good luck settling in, and good luck finding a new station in your new town!

      Like

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