ZOMG SNOWQUADO

So there’s a saying. Shell-shocked. Which I think is a precursor for the more modern PTSD.

Is there a saying, “snow-shocked?” If there isn’t, can there be? Can it be a thing we institute? Because when I woke up this morning and saw that it was snowing again, I think “snow-shocked” might be the definition of how I felt. Not happy or sad or mad. Just cold and dead inside like a robot. “More snow. Yes. Shovel. Yes. Cold. Yes.”

I was warned (and I knew) when I moved here there would be snow. We’re right next to a lake, so we get lake-effect snow. But I don’t think I was prepared for this MUCH snow. I mean, I don’t know if you CAN be.

So far this year (this YEAR, which we are TWELVE DAYS INTO, mind you, so that’s not counting the two storms of over a foot each we got in November and December), this town has received a total of 49″ of snow.

That’s over four feet of snow in 12 days. Most of it arrived between Tuesday and Saturday this week. There is nowhere to PUT all this snow. Here. Look.

This is the view from my front porch. There's a road there. I think. Somewhere.

This is the view from my front porch. There’s a road there. I think. Somewhere.

I have snow removal people. They've stopped having anwhere to PUT the snow, so I've had to be creative with where to park. I'm kind of on the lawn here. Not that you can SEE the lawn.

I have snow removal people. They’ve stopped having anwhere to PUT the snow, so I’ve had to be creative with where to park. I’m kind of on the lawn here. Not that you can SEE the lawn.

Now, I grew up in a town where there was a lot of snow, and it was very cold. I’m a native New Yorker. This isn’t new to me. But, just for comparison, let’s look at the average snowfall for some of the places I’ve lived in my life.

Albany 59″ – OK, this is manageable. That’s about 5′ a year. And it’s not like it falls all at once, or anything. The roads are crappy and everyone forgets how to drive, but that’s fine.

The town where I grew up gets, on average, 74″ a year. OK, that’s a bit more. Plus it’s super-cold there. Lots of negative temperatures. It’s the frozen tundra up there. I was a kid when I lived there, though. I let my parents worry about the cold.

Binghamton 83″- Yeah, I’m not super-surprised about this. I went to college here, and it would start getting gray about October and last through May, and it would snow and snow and SNOW. I didn’t have a car, so I’d have to slog to the bus stops in all that snow and my feet would be FREEZING and I’d be one of those sad people you’d see waiting for the bus all bundled up and shivering and snow-covered. But I was, again, young. And I used to drink a lot then. Probably I was too tipsy to realize how much snow there was, who knows.

Flagstaff 100″ – So, funny story, when I moved to Arizona, I thought Flagstaff would be warm, because I didn’t do any research? But it was NOT always warm. It was pretty damn cold, actually. And it was in the mountains and it snowed. A LOT. Once I was at work and elk walked right up to the door. Because they thought it was their world and not human-world. BECAUSE ALL THAT SNOW. (It was pretty damn cool, though. Elk!)

Watertown – ok, what do you think the average snowfall is in Watertown? It kind of varies site by site, but here’s what I found, and I think it’s probably right. Ready?

112″. ONE HUNDRED TWELVE INCHES. This sounds like it might be right, considering it’s not even mid-January and we’ve already had approximately 73″. 112″ is over 9 feet a year. NINE FEET. I’m not even SIX feet.

I’m quite sure I moved to some sort of alternate snow planet, where this is ALL THAT HAPPENS. Everyone here keeps laughing that it won’t end until May. THEY ARE NOT KIDDING. We all have this hundred-yard stare going on.

All we write about at work lately seems to be snow. Coworker R. and I came up with the latest Syfy movie title: “SNOWQUADO!” Part snowstorm, part earthquake, part tornado. Since these movies have to star an 80s star, it will star both Milli AND Vanilli* (two’s better than one, right? And it’s not like they’re doing anything these days) and be QUITE a hit.

Want to swing on my porch swing? Just wear your snowpants.

Want to swing on my porch swing? Just wear your snowpants.

In good news, I work about 3 minutes from my house, so the drive isn’t that bad. And when I get out, it’s about 1am, so I can drive really slow in the middle of the street and no one much cares.

The snowbanks are as tall as I am. Today the garbage man put my garbage can on top of one and how the hell was I supposed to get that down? I mean, I DID, but not without it falling on me. Gross.

The snowbanks are as tall as I am. Today the garbage man put my garbage can on top of one and how the hell was I supposed to get that down? I mean, I DID, but not without it falling on me. Gross.

The cat’s loving this. This is weather meant for cuddling and sleeping in and purring all night long. Sadly, one of us has to go to work to pay for cat food and Pringles, so I can’t stay home and purr all day, as much as I’d like to.

My car's there. I can't get to the garage. (I can't park in there anyway; that's where the landlady keeps the lawnmowers. Don't ask.)

My car’s there. I can’t get to the garage. (I can’t park in there anyway; that’s where the landlady keeps the lawnmowers. Don’t ask.)

I keep expecting there to be penguins. So far, there have been no penguins. What good is this kind of weather without penguins?

One hundred and twelve inches. Heaven help me.

And I'm pretty sure these icicles are trying to kill me.

And I’m pretty sure these icicles are trying to kill me.

*I have been informed by a very kind reader that Rob Pilatus from Milli Vanilli killed himself in 1998, a fact about which I had no idea. So, that joke fizzled. Not in the least bit meant as an offense toward Mr. Pilatus or a slight on mental health issues, which you all know are very near and dear to my heart. My apologies, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention if you are struggling with mental health issues and feel like you’re going to do something final to yourself, please call someone for help – you matter too much and owe it to yourself to do this. Trust me, ok? If you’re not comfortable talking to someone you know, there are plenty of wonderful groups that are happy to talk to you anonymously, and are WAITING to talk to you, which you can find a list of here. Thank you for letting me know about this, B., and much love to you all.

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

42 responses to “ZOMG SNOWQUADO

  • earthandink

    Flagstaff! I remember when my son was in kindergarten (we lived in Phoenix) and I drove him up to Flag so he could play in the snow. Then we drove back to Phoenix and hung out at the swimming pool. It was kind of perfect. Except I’m not a fan of Phoenix. Sedona gets snow, but not too much. But since all shopping for things that don’t say SEDONA has to be done in Flag, lots of north on 89A. (I’ve almost hit elks more than once … they love to walk across 89A.)

    Where I am now we’re having ice pellets and sleet. So that’s nice.

    You still win on snow. Lots of snow.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Aw, that is wonderful! I’ve only been to Phoenix a few times, but I didn’t love the summer, that’s for sure. You either went from AC to AC to AC or you died of hot. No in-between. (I wouldn’t mind a winter in the 50s/60s, though!)

      I LOVED Sedona. We went there two or three times, and I just loved it every single time. Such a great town. Such a good vibe, and so beautiful.

      Urgh, no thanks on the ice pellets and sleet. I’d take snow over that any day! Hope you’re nice and warm!

      Like

  • Kelly Naylor

    Lawsy day, and I thought it was hideous here in Albany. (Oh, if we go back in time, I would have warned you about Flagstaff. Mountains. Yep. Also, better elk than moose. Just saying.)

    It seems to have momentarily stopped snowing in Albany, but I’m sure it will start up again just in time for me to go home. The remodeling of our offices means I can see out the windows now. I do NOT like this.

    San Diego might be safe.

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    • lucysfootball

      I was so young when I moved to Flagstaff. And so silly about not researching where I was going to live!

      I do not at all miss the hellaciously long drives on the highway to get to/from work in Albany, that’s for sure. I love how close I live to my job now. If things get bad, I could (if I had to) walk to my office in about 10-15 minutes. (Otherwise, though? MISSING ALBANY SO MUCH ZOMG!!!)

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    Again with the penguins, Amy. They’re Southern Hemisphere birds. And the don’t migrate; not across the equator anyway.

    Do be careful around those icicles though. We always have some deaths each year here in Scandinavia from falling icicles.

    Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    (We also have snow now, by the way. Many inches of the stuff. Pretty to look at, but not fun trying to get off the car. Or the car out of.)

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    • lucysfootball

      It is NOT fun to drive in, or to get off the car. The snow-removal guys cleaned off my car for me the other day, just to be nice? And I almost wept. I’ve gotten SO TIRED of cleaning off the car!

      Like

  • llroberts43

    I spent a little over a year in Michigan and we too got the lake effect snow. I was never so happy to leave a place in my entire life. I’ll gladly take the Pacific Northwest rain any day over snow.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I’ve never lived anywhere with lake-effect snow. People kept saying how bad it would be, but I was all, “oh, it snowed where I grew up, I’ll be ok.” Yep, didn’t snow like THAT there!

      I don’t think I’ll ever leave New York – I love the state so much. And it’s growing on me here. I think it’s probably because I love my job so much, though. That makes it all worthwhile – even WITH all this snow!

      Liked by 1 person

  • becomingcliche

    SNO-EM-GEE! (read it out loud. It’ll make sense then)

    I cannot even fathom. If we get 6 inches a year, the whole town comes to a complete standstill for days on end.

    Like

  • Nagzilla

    Greetings from Minne-snow-ta! I actually don’t mind the snow, but then again juxtaposed with the below zero temps make it tolerable because snow = warmer.
    We haven’t had much for snow (yet) this year, but I’m about over the subzeroes. Seriously. When we’re colder than Alaska and Mars? Kinda done.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      We actually just ran a story in the paper where it said Alaska didn’t have any below-zero days last year and we had 26 of them here. (Which seems weird – isn’t Alaska cold? Or is that a fallacy?)

      You’re completely right about snow making it warmer. We usually know when the snow’s coming because you can feel it in the air – the frigidity kind of backs off and it’s more tolerable. (It’s been a very cold winter so far for us, too. Supposed to be -20 for us tonight. SIGH.)

      Like

  • Nicola

    Oh man, I love your pictures, I dream of snow like that! I realise it must be a pain to live in for weeks and months on end, but over here in my part of the UK it hardly ever snows so it’s such a novelty – even though when it does come the whole place behaves like the apocalypse has commenced. We are actually forcast a little bit this evening and I am excited! Also, I love becomingcliche’s sno-em-gee – I will be utilising it should it snow here tonight.

    Like

  • sunraeny

    I miss the snow! I think i’d like 1 winter up there!! Just 1. ;)

    Like

  • ScorpionGlow

    If I get a dusting, I have family overseas and in Florida (which one SHOULD need a passport to visit) all concerned. Where are they when there’s six feet of snow on the ground?! The concept of needing a snowblower is completely lost on some people. I always say the same thing “I’m used to it.”

    I had a friend visiting one Christmas and we got blasted with several feet of snow right before she was supposed to fly home. She did not believe me when I said that I had to call and get her flight changed twice because the airport was closed. However, she believed me when she walked outside and there was two feet of snow in front of her. She’d never seen that much snow in her entire life.

    I always think it’s pretty when it’s finished snowing and its untouched, but after that the snowblind is murder and it takes anywhere from 1-5 months for it to fully melt. I have become a terrible winter hermit.

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    • lucysfootball

      I am the same way – total winter hermit. If I could stay at home and get every single thing I needed delivered from December to April, I’d take that. Happily. And I totally agree – it’s pretty when it’s snowing, and when it’s finished and there’s this untouched blanket of it, but when it’s this awful dirty crust, it’s just kind of sad and I’m ready for spring. (Oh, let’s face it, I’m always ready for spring.)

      Like

  • grrgoyl

    THIS is why I never want to move back East (I grew up in CT. I remember very well snow that never melts and new snow that has to go on top of it).

    Sounds like you have a knack for picking snowy places to live. If you’re sick of it, but don’t like Florida, you should move to Colorado. Everyone thinks of Colorado as snowy, but really that’s just the mountains. Here in civilization big snowstorms are very rare, and when little ones happen, thanks to 30% humidity the snow is as dry as Sahara sand; you can literally blow it off your windshield (not so good for snowball fights, but who has time for those?). And 90% of the time the sun melts it in one day.

    Plus, you know, legal marijuana, if you care about that (which I don’t, but I’m still glad we have it, because what a dumb thing to go to jail for).

    Like

    • Kelly Naylor

      Oooh, I lived in Colorado for 10 years and miss it desperately!! I so want to go home. Right now! (Ah, if only the company I’d want to work for was hiring! Drats.)

      Like

    • lucysfootball

      I know, right? I have a snow radar, apparently! (I do like living in places that have all four seasons. Although I joke that I’d like to live somewhere that it’s perpetually spring or fall, I like the change of the seasons. It makes me feel invigorated, you know? It helps you know time’s moving on.)

      I visited Colorado very briefly twice – once for a job interview (I had to drive through the switchbacks, and it was TERRIFYING! When I got to the bottom, I got out of the car and my legs were shaking and I had to stand still for a minute and just breathe!) and once to visit my brother in Littleton when he lived there. I did like it both times. Really beautiful state (well, the small amount of it I saw, anyway!)

      I’m with you on the legal marijuana – don’t care at all for myself, but a very stupid thing to go to jail for.

      Like

  • cynthiaw

    Yeah… wow.. I would not even be able to… seriously, I would hibernate or just go into shock until June. I grew up in Ohio, but it does not snow THAT much there. And I’ve lived in the South or Pacific Northwest for my entire adult life and my blood has thinned out. Snow is a cause for joy in Texas because it happens rarely and melts rapidly.

    I visited snow last year and it was FUN, but I was totally glad to come home after two days of it being 13° outside.

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    • lucysfootball

      I’m glad I grew up in it, so this isn’t my first time dealing with it. We were talking about that at work the other day – what a culture shock it would be for someone who grew up somewhere without snow to come here to work all of a sudden. I just imagine someone standing in the parking lot at work weeping saying “what? Is this…why is this. What is this why? No. Not…no.”

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      • cynthiaw

        They would after awhile, but I was stationed in Norfolk, Virginia and it snowed while I was there. I was at the Armed Forces School of Music and they let us out of class to go play in the snow and all of the people who had never seen snow before was utterly overjoyed and ran around in it like they were little kids.

        So… they’d be super excited the first time, but then it would get old. Especially the first time that they were driving and hit black ice.

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        • cynthiaw

          were overjoyed… darned no proofreading.

          Like

        • lucysfootball

          You’re right – I remember the first time it snowed when I was in college, and the kids who were from places that hadn’t seen much (or any) snow being all “OMG! LOOK AT THIS!”

          And then those same kids a month or so later trudging around in winter coats and boots like life had kicked them in the teeth. “WILL IT EVER STOP? MY LIFE IS A JOKE.”

          Like

  • Karen Van Benschoten

    Spoken like a true New Yorker. Being a home-grown one myself, snow doesn’t faze me, no matter how much there is. I just remember FIVE days of being stranded in Watertown, because there was so much snow, the whole county was shut down, and it was illegal to be on the roads. The police shuttled us to an old hotel to stay in, as we couldn’t pay for one. I now live on the west side of Lake Michigan, and am reminded of lake-effect snow. Only once since I’ve been here in the midwest, have I ever seen snow that comes close to that on the east end of Lake Erie. You might want to invest in a snowblower (maybe the landlady will let you keep it in the garage with the lawnmowers,lol). Thank you so much for reminding me how it was growing up in the middle of New York State!

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    • lucysfootball

      I don’t mind snow that much – other than driving in it, which still bothers me. (If I could just stay at home whenever it snows, it’d be fine!)

      I luckily don’t need a snowblower, because we have a company that comes and cleans up our snow (part of the rent here) – and they’re usually really timely, so I can’t complain. And every time it snows that much and I manage to get to and from work in one piece, I feel like I’ve conquered the world!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Karen Van Benschoten

        We had a snowfall here in Wisconsin a couple of winters ago, that it was so deep when people opened their doors, they either couldn’t because it opened outward, or they had to start shoveling just to get out of the house. I’ll have to look back through my FB, see if I can find any pics from then. Luckily, I live on the second floor, and we have a crew that comes and cleans out our parking lot. :P

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