In which the blog gets a new, very fancy mascot

It’s been a busy weekend, my little pumpkin pies. Here and there and everywhere, I was. Whoo! However, after this weekend, things slow substantially to a crawl, which is nice. I mean, I still have THINGS, but they’re not CONSTANT things. Not like BAM BAM BAM THINGS. Which is nice. I might actually get to sit on my couch a little and have some hang-time with Dumbcat. I know he’d enjoy that. (He’s enjoying it as I type this, actually. All snuggled up to my leg and purring like a little furry motor.)

Friday I had to review a show. The show was…um…hard to sit through. Let’s just leave it at that. They can’t all be winners. (It’s nice to still get PAID when they’re not a winner, though. I like that part of it very much.) Then I got home and you would THINK a person would be like “write the review and go to bed, it’s so late” but instead I had about an hour left of a book I was obsessed with and so I decided it was a better idea to stay up mega-late and find out what happened. (I used to do this when I was younger, too. I guess you don’t grow out of things like this.) I told Dad this and he was all “THAT BOOK WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE WHEN YOU WOKE UP!” but I had to work on Saturday and I didn’t want to wait TWENTY-FOUR HOURS to find out the ending. I mean, seriously. (Review going up soon on Snobbery, promise.)

Then work all day Saturday (blergh) and talking to Andreas‘ face that night (ALWAYS a good thing, and even better, his most wonderful little girl made an appearance, so I got to see her, too!) and then Sunday…TOTALLY had an adventure, yo.

My wonderful cousin J. lives about 45 minutes away. She is a senior in high school and one of the most joyful people I know. She makes you feel pure happiness just being around her. And why wouldn’t you want to be around someone that makes you that happy? I predict the best of things for her in the world, I really do. She has the best outlook on life and she’s very grounded. She’s just fantastic.

So when I saw her last month, we made plans to see a play together this month. It was hard to find an appropriate show for a seventeen-year-old because I’m totally protective and didn’t want her to see anything naughty. Even though she’s probably reading this right now and laughing at me because I sound like an old lady. So I thought, Guys and Dolls is fun and bright and non-naughty would entertain her. Right? Right.

So cousin J. and her equally wonderful boyfriend D. came to visit (she just got her driver’s license. I have known this kid for a very long time. I remember when she was in footie pajamas coloring at her grandmother’s kitchen table. Her being able to drive is kind of amazing to me) and D. went to the mall to hang out and wait for us, and J. and I went to the theater.

The show was already mega-long, to start. I was worried poor D. was going to be bored out of his mind at the mall. He promised he wouldn’t, but we weren’t going to meet up with him for HOURS. That’s a very long time to hang out alone at the mall. Like, I get bored at the mall in about fifteen MINUTES. Then the play started late. REALLY late. (I feel there’s really no reason for that. It’s rude to your paying audience and it’s rude to your actors who are waiting for the show to start.) It was actually quite good (I’m a big Guys and Dolls fan; Adelaide makes me happy) but I think maybe it’s harder for other people to pay attention than it is for me. And the play was, as mentioned, VERY LONG. And J. leaned over and whispered that poor D. had gotten bored and was just taking a nap in the car. (I KNEW he wouldn’t want to be hanging out at the mall that long!) So I made an executive decision and asked her if she wanted to hoof it at intermission. She said “no, it’s ok” in a way that I could tell that meant “OMG YES PLEASE” so I knew it was an excellent decision on my end. (I filled her in on what would happen in Act II in the car. I was able to do this in 2 minutes. Act II was probably going to be about an hour or so. And I was able to explain it in TWO MINUTES. This may or may not be a flaw in the show, I decided.) I tried to encourage her to watch the movie (BRANDO! SINATRA! SIGH!) but I don’t know that I was successful. Aw, Brando and Sinatra are no longer a draw for kids today. This makes me sad.

Come on. These are some handome fellas, right?

Come on. These are some handome fellas, right?

Off to the mall to rescue D. from his car-based nappery we went!

J. and D. wanted to eat at Dave and Buster’s. I had never been in a Dave and Buster’s, but one just opened in our mall. For anyone who’s never been in this restaurant, let me explain: there is a restaurant (just kind of a basic burgers/chicken/bar food kind of restaurant) and then the rest of the place is UTTER CHAOS. Because it’s an ARCADE! With many games and Skee-ball machines and gigantic wheels of fortune and some weird game where you could play soccer against Homer Simpson and most of the machines spit out TICKETS!

CRAZINESS!

CRAZINESS!

And what could you win with the tickets?

CRAP THAT WAS NOWHERE NEAR WORTH THE TICKETS!

Oh, it was just the best. SO MUCH WAS GOING ON.

So we had dinner and talked and laughed and then it was ON TO THE ARCADE!

I was not as good at the games as J. and D. were. I think it’s a youngster thing. They have better reflexes. I was good at games that required very little skill, like a random game where I got to harpoon sharks, and a game where I had to match up fruit. Anything where I had to have coordination – no no, Charlie. Terrible at that. I used to be good at Skee-ball. Apparently that left me with my ability to stay up all night and ride roller coasters (I totally can’t do that anymore. I get dizzy.) One of the employees apparently liked my uselessness and giggliness and was playing the harpooning sharks game and gave me all of HIS tickets so I was totally racking up the tickets. J. was good at large-size versions of games that were on her phone that I’d never heard of in my whole life because I am not good at games so I had to take them all off my phone or I get obsessed with them and don’t get work done I need to do, like blogging. D. was good at shooting-animals games. (Yes, this is totally a thing. At the end of it, he got eaten by a very realistic bear and it made me gasp in fear. Back in my day, kiddos, we played Mario Brothers, and there was nothing SCARY in Mario Brothers that JUMPED OUT AND ATE YOUR FACE. Well, there were those koopa things, but they weren’t SCARY.)

When we were done, it was time for me to get home and “go be a grownup,” said J., which made me laugh (I know, I’m totally a grownup sometimes) and cash in all my tickets for VERY IMPORTANT BOOTY. I had my eye on something totally special but didn’t think I had enough tickets.

Look at all my tickets. Are you so impressed? I thought you might be.

Look at all my tickets. Are you so impressed? I thought you might be.

Imagine my delight when I did.

Meet…

YOLO HAMSTER! (And Dumbcat photobombing us while he looks for treats I threw on the carpet for him to keep him occupied.)

I have no idea what is happening here. This is a RANDOM HAMSTER with a YOLO HOODIE and it is TERRIBLE and I LOVE it. Seriously. This is like my blog mascot now. It has my least-favorite saying on it, and why is it a hamster? I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS THING. It was only a zillion tickets. (I’m exaggerating. A little.) I also got two Wacky Wall Walkers for The Nephew because I loved those things when I was little and I think he’ll dig them.

Did you guys get these in your cereal when you were little? I used to LOVE these things. They were the best.

Did you guys get these in your cereal when you were little? I used to LOVE these things. They were the best.

Yolo Hamster (I think I shall name him Harvey Hoodie Hamster) can also be a badass gangsta. Check it, yo.

This is how he wears his hood when he travels to THE hood. Ha! Get it?

Justin Bieber would totally dig Harvey Hoodie Hamster for his YOLO-ness but he’s all mine, Biebs. Don’t you even think of taking him. I worked HARD at those machines shooting sharks with harpoons to win Harvey Hoodie Hamster.

I was attempting to explain YOLO (don’t you feel like that should have an unneccessary exclamation point at the end of it? YOLO!) to Andreas and he said, “So that’s a hamster that only lives once? Like any other hamster, then?” and I think that’s really the best explanation of Harvey Hoodie Hamster there’s ever been. Harvey Hoodie Hamster will NOT be reincarnated. He really has to make the best of this one life he’s got. I would assume that would take the form of drinking a lot of Four Loko and knocking over convenience stores.

(You need to watch this, if you haven’t; it makes me laugh until I’m almost sick. EVERY TIME I WATCH IT. There are piranhas in saunas!)

J. and D. got a hippo and a box of Nerds with their tickets. That was with their tickets COMBINED. You really didn’t get much with your tickets. I tried to convince them to get another Hoodie Hamster but apparently, YOLO isn’t even COOL anymore. Who knew? (I did. I kind of knew. That’s why I love it. I love it in an ironic hate way.)

Isn’t she just sunshine? Sincerely. You cannot look at this girl’s face and not want to smile. She’s gorgeous AND she’s wonderful AND she’s kind and intelligent and funny. Good genetics in my family, you see.

I promise I did not take minors drinking. Those are our cups of many tickets. And YOLO HAMSTER! Seriously, he is just the best thing. (J. and D. are adorable, right? Totally are.)

Then it was time to go and there were all the hugs and J. totally texted me and asked when we could have ANOTHER adventure. Success! I am a very good partner in adventuring! (I think it’s because I haven’t quite accepted I’m an adult yet. Plus, these two are just the best.)

Time for bed for me. Adventuring makes one sleepy. Thank you, J. and D., for a most excellent day of fun. You are the best and I smiled so much my whole face was on smile overload. You are two of the most wonderful people and I loved playing all the games with you!

Off to sleepytime. Have a good week, people of the internet! I hope you aren’t too jealous of my YOLO hamster. Don’t break into my house to steal it. It’s MINE, and you just have to deal with that, yo.

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

23 responses to “In which the blog gets a new, very fancy mascot

  • becomingcliche

    I am totally jealous of YOLO hamster!

    Frank Sinatra drives me to the brink of violence. I do not know why, but there you go. Perhaps I will skip this show.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I thought of you the minute I saw it! I wish I’d had enough tickets. I would have gotten us BOTH one! I know you love/hate YOLO as much as I do!!! Maybe I’ll go back someday and see if there are any more YOLO hamsters to be had!

      Oh, no! I love Frank Sinatra! Yes, definitely skip the movie…but if you can ever see the stage show, do. It’s a fun musical, and I think you’d really like it.

      Like

  • cynthiaw

    I’m not sure that’s a hamster. I think that it might be a YOLO Rat. What does the tail look like?

    It’s a sad, sad world where Brando and Sinatra aren’t a draw to watch a movie. Although Brando makes me giggle – especially when he’s trying to act tough. Except for in The Godfather because he nailed that, yo.

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    • lucysfootball

      Definitely a hamster! It even says so on his ear tag. “YOLO HAMSTER!” it says. (Why there was a need for such a thing? Not even sure.)

      Aw, I love Brando’s toughness in “A Streetcar Named Desire”! It’s a kind of broken toughness, but still. That’s my #1 Brando movie. I could watch him in that a million times. He’s like a master class in acting in that movie, sincerely. No one’s ever lived up to that performance for me, and I’ve seen the play probably 20 times with different nuances and performances. He really nailed it. That’s Stanley, in my mind. No one else comes close.

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      • cynthiaw

        When I think of young Brando, I always think of The Wild one, in which he was laughable. When he beats up Lee Marvin in the end, my hubby and I laughed so hard that we almost wet ourselves – because Lee Marvin would have totally wiped the floor with Brando.

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  • Samantha

    HAHA Yolo hamster. That’s awesome :)

    The last time I went to Dave & Buster’s I was surprised at the amount of alcohol plus arcade games. The best game at ours was the group PacMan. We played it a couple of times as a group for a friend’s birthday and it was HILARIOUS. I highly recommend it if you get a chance to go back.

    Aw I’m glad you had a great time with your cousin. Cousins are kind of the best.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Isn’t he the best? I HAD to have YOLO hamster!

      That place was chaos. I couldn’t imagine working there. You’d want to curl in a corner and rock by the end of the shift, sincerely. (I was always so terrible at Pac Man! Those ghosts coming for me would stress me out and I’d get all nervous. I’m really terrible at games!)

      I do have amazing cousins. My family is great, and we were all really close growing up, which I think is such a good way to be. This part of the family lived far away, so we didn’t see them much…but now *I* live far away, too, so we’re in each other’s back yard! It is the best!

      Like

  • bensbitterblog

    My mascot is grumpy cat and Tommy Lee Jones.

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  • bensbitterblog

    By the way, your poor cousin would have such a hard time with my bitterness.

    Like

  • Mer

    Hee! The idea of Dave and Busters makes me over stimulated like the Vegas airport. I love you and your adventuring!
    And totally random fact: I am exactly a week older than Andy Samberg.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      It was TOTALLY overstimulating! Noises and kids and televisions and people and games and SO MUCH HAPPENING! You had to shout to be heard, too. Usually that would bug me, but we had such a good time it was ok, somehow!

      Aw, Andy. I miss him on SNL so much! The show’s not been the same without him. I hope the new people step it up. I’ve been so bored lately. :(

      Like

  • emuse

    Yo, Yolo.

    Okay, I have to admit that I hate and detest the saying YOLO. It’s as irritating as someone’s phone going on and on while they ignore it because they’re cruising facebook. Not that that’s happening right now where I am.

    Yolo is cute, but I keep wanting to send him to a Soul car commercial.

    Like

  • Heather

    YOLO hamster! Hahaha! Wow.

    I’m glad you had a good time at Dave & Busters. It’s really a lot of fun to go at least once.

    Like

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