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…mermaid dancing…is a little different. You usually start on the ground.

I have no time to blog this week. MY MOST ABJECT APOLOGIES MY FAVORITE PEOPLE.

Also next week is the worst. But after that I think I get to breathe again. Maybe.

Well, ok, not the WORST. They’re all things I WANT to do. There are just a LOT of things to do. Fun things, but a LOT of them. One that requires – are you ready for this – THE PURCHASING AND WEARING OF A DRESS.

I KNOW. Please stop gasping and fainting. I can wear dresses. I’m allowed. I am a lady, even if I really, really like wearing khakis. Like, so much, guys. SO MUCH. They are beyond comfortable.

So, without further ago, because I am running out of time and trying to write this while watching a movie and also emailing and also doing a million other things…

THINGS THAT HAVE MADE ME HAPPY THIS WEEK SO FAR

(What, you were expecting things that made me miserable this week? I COULD do that, but how depressing would THAT be to read? No. Let’s stick to things that made me happy. Thanks.)

SHOPPING SUCCESSFULLY!

Now, as you all know, I am not a good shopper. I often lose at shopping. QUITE often. And it makes me frustrated. And itchy. And a little sweaty.

HOWEVER, I had to go to the mall this week for a VERY EXCITING THING. Ready?

Here was me on Monday…

(Well, my hair didn’t look like that. My hair only looked likes like that when my hairdresser does it. This is only for a comparison.)

And here’s me NOW:

QUICK WHAT IS DIFFERENT?

No, not the hair. Or the clothes. Or the necklace. Or the makeup. YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT!

What was that? Someone in the back?

YES! CORRECT!

I GOT NEW GLASSES!

I am crazy in love with them. They make me so much happier than the last ones, which were Transitions and scratched and an annoying shape and I hated them. These are flattering and pretty and stylish and ZOMG they are totally Dolce and Gabbana. I KNOW. (People say that’s a fancy thing, right? Like, they make purses or something, right? I don’t know such things. I think the fanciest name-brand of anything I own is like Fashion Bug brand or something.)

ALSO, I had an eye exam and the optometrist told me I was VERY PHOTOGENIC. He was talking about my eyes, but I took it as a total compliment. (He also told me I had EXTREMELY healthy eyes, and showed me some photos of NON-healthy eyes which were TOTES ICKY, you guys, and made me squeal disgustedly and delightedly. I liked him a lot. He told me gross stories about working in the hospital and was VERY entertaining. He won optometry.)

So after an epic win of glasses-buying (which was kind of expensive, despite my eyecare plan), I went dress-shopping. Gulp.

Now, I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to find anything, because I have the WORST LUCK with shopping. But I have a wedding to go to on Friday. And it’s the wedding of friends K. and A.! And I would very much like to look like a pretty lady at said wedding!

So I tried on dresses. Trepidaciously.

AND YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT OCCURRED!

I found THREE PRETTY DRESSES!

I had to narrow it down to two, because they were not CHEAP dresses. But I bought two dresses. One for the wedding and one for when Laura visits in September and we’re going to a fancy dinner and then to a play at the fancy theater like LAY-DEEZ.

This is the wedding dress (because it’s going to be HOT that day, yo, and the wedding’s outside):

SO CUTE. No, I’m not wearing heels with this. Don’t ask. I have shoes with a PRACTICAL SLIGHTLY-RAISED RUBBERY HEEL. That’s as good as you get from me. I would tip, otherwise.

And for my lady-date with Laura:

SUPER-SEXY. Also the cleavage in this dress is INSANE. Laura, we’re going to be the HOTTEST LADIES ON THE TOWN, sincerely.

Other things that have made me happy this week that are NOT spending-money-related (because there are some, I don’t JUST spend all the money all the time, just SOMETIMES):

  • Dad’s coming to visit next week! We’re totally spending the day together!
  • I get to have dinner with The Nephew and his mom next week! He starts school after Labor Day. Can you imagine? My best little guy is SCHOOL-AGED! Whoa!
  • Making Dad laugh until he dropped the phone by dropping a random (albeit, very funny, she says humbly) sexual innuendo in conversation (when Dad says “that’s a good one!” I feel like I won an Oscar)
  • Watching Pitch Perfect. SHUT UP. It is funny and quirky and heartwarming and A CAPELLA, you guys. I have all the love for a capella. Plus it stars this chick:

    This is Rebel Wilson, who I fell crazy in love with in Bridesmaids and she only had a LITTLE role, and look at her in THIS. She is WONDERFUL. She made me laugh SO SO HARD, you guys. She wins everything.She is CRAZY FIERCE.
    I have a total crush on her.

And I want to be her character in the movie. See? I even told Twitter last night.

(Her character in the movie’s name is Fat Amy. WATCH IT. Sincerely. I thought it might be awful, too, but it was so much fun. Except sometimes it was stupid and there was vomiting. I don’t care for stupid sketch-comedy vomiting.)

OK. I am going to bed because lately I have not been sleeping properly and also I’ve been gritting my teeth a lot which means I’m stressed so I think I need some downtime, yo. I’m going to go to bed early and see if that helps. Happy day, all! I hope all the things made you happy this week. If not, just stare a little at Rebel Wilson. She’s the most sensational.

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

30 responses to “…mermaid dancing…is a little different. You usually start on the ground.

  • laura_thetwors

    LADY DATE!!! I cannot WAIT!!!! We’re going to be so fucking hot and classy at the theatre.

    Like

  • Mer

    LOVE your new glasses & beautiful dresses! I celebrate your triumph. I was just thinking about how hard it is to find a nice dress; I end up in skirts for an easier fit. :) oh, and I am remiss in expressing my delight that you and Dumbcat were not affected by the fire! All the good sleep for you!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Thank you! I have a lot more skirts, too – cute skirts, that I love – but no tops that go with the skirts well enough to wear them. So I need to buy new tops to match the skirts if I want to wear the skirts. I AM CAUGHT IN A VICIOUS CLOTHING CYCLE!

      Oh, thank you! I drove past the fire building today. It’s really awful. It made me so sad for those people.

      Like

  • cynthiaw

    Yay! New glasses and dresses are the best. Even if I’m not allowed to go dress shopping anymore because the hubs says that I have TOO.MANY.DRESSES. Which is totally ridiculous….. if also kind of true. In my defense, I wear one to work almost every day.

    On the other hand, I own no khakis. Seriously, none. I have like three pairs of pants that I mostly wear in the winter, but only if it’s super cold and boots, tights and a dress just won’t cut it. I do, however, have a pair of BRIGHT YELLOW cropped pants that I’m actually wearing today instead of a dress.

    All of which is to say that I’m super jealous of your successful dress shopping because I’m NOT ALLOWED. Grr….

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I think I have maybe three dresses (well, five, now) and I never wear them. Because one is for interviews (so I wear it for interviews) and the other two you can only wear with a sweater or jacket over them because they’re too tank-toppy. Why is that a thing? Dresses should stand on their own. (These two new dresses can, but they’re kind of dressy, so now I want more LESS-dressy dresses, and I think I might be obsessed, at this late point in the game, with looking like a lady. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.)

      I have many pairs of khakis. More than jeans, actually. I didn’t realize until recently they’re more comfortable than jeans. I feel this wisdom should have been passed down to me along with my college diploma or something.

      Like

  • Samantha

    Your new glasses and dresses are super cute and pretty! I like the shape of your glasses a lot. They’re beyond the norm, but still will work with everything. :)

    I LOVE Pitch Perfect. I was kind of meh to watch it at first, but I should’ve known I’d love it, because I loved Bring It On, and Stomp the Yard, and some other dancing/routine/music movies that have come out in the last 10-20 years. :) Rebel Wilson is amazing, so is Anna Kendrick, and I am generally a fan of Brittany Snow. Plus the quirky personalities in their group were just great. The girl that talked so quietly no one could hear her.. :)

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Thank you! I wanted cat eye glasses, but they were all really small on my face (or my face was too big, I suppose…) and these worked out PERFECTLY!

      I wasn’t sure about “Pitch Perfect” but ended up LOVING it. And totally re-watched the audition and closing song scenes again tonight while I did my nails. Because I’m a sucker and I loved them. OMG, the girl who talked too quietly! I didn’t catch a lot of what she said, but every once and a while I’d catch something and it’d be something like “I set fires just to feel something” or “I did a stint in the big house” or something and I would just DIE.

      Rebel Wilson is my new favorite, and I want her to be in everything. NO WAIT. I want her and Melissa McCarthy to be in something together. (I know they were in “Bridesmaids” together but not in any scenes. I want a GOOD buddy comedy with the two of them, not like whatever-the-hell-that-was with Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock. I didn’t see it but just the trailer made me upset, it looked so bad. But people are saying it’s funny so I’m perplexed. I DO, however, want to see that Melissa McCarthy/Jason Bateman movie, because I love her, and I want to lick him? So that’s a win all around. This is a very long parenthetical aside.)

      Like

      • Samantha

        She made me laugh SO much because she also said “I ate my twin in the womb” and “Do you want to see a dead body?”

        I also love Melissa McCarthy. Maybe I’m biased because I really like both of them, but I LOVED The Heat. It was hilarious. She was badass and funny. And that DOES sound like a win all around. I don’t blame you on Jason Bateman. :D

        Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    Ooh, that Rebel Wilson is kind of a babe.

    Congrats to your new glasses; they look very good on you. And those are some good dresses. Great shopping, Amy!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      She’s totally hot. And HILARIOUS. I want to be her when I grow up. What’s that? She’s younger than me? Dammit. I missed my window.

      Thank you! Wearing the new dress tomorrow. With fierce red sparkly nails. And doing…I don’t know, SOMETHING with my hair. Which might be tough since I’m getting ready in the work bathroom. So…maybe nothing with my hair, then. Either way: I’m pretty sure I will be more dressed up than I’ve been in about 10 years.

      Like

  • becomingcliche

    I love your new glasses! And those dresses…WOW! So happy it’s a good-busy week for you.

    Like

  • The Waiting

    New glasses are ZOMG THE BEST and fancy glasses are pretty much Heaven. LOVE yours! Imma be obnoxious and link drop for a second. (Sorry. I flunk Blogiquette 101.) This is from when I got Freshly Pressed when C was four days old. http://notthehardestpart.com/2012/03/16/in-praise-of-glasses/

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      You are NEVER obnoxious, and around these parts, we don’t care much for the rules. (Or maybe we do, and I just love you so much I don’t care at all.)

      YOUR WEDDING GLASSES ARE GORGEOUS!!!

      Thank you so much! I’m crazy in love with these frames. I had some I loved about 10 years ago, and I wore them until they wore out (the tech couldn’t even get the…what are they that goes on your ears, arms? I don’t know) to stop being floppy, even with new screws, so they were always crooked. I’ve been on the lookout for a similar pair of dark-framed cat-eyes ever since, and these are close…but just different enough that I think I might like them MORE. YAY!

      Like

  • galinthegreyhat

    I’ve heard good things about that movie I’ll have to pick it up. She was in ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ a really bad movie, but her bits were funny! I LOVE your glasses!!

    Like

  • mfennvt

    I knew those were new glasses! Very nice. As are those dresses. Congrats for winning shopping!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Thank you! I DID win shopping. That never happens. Probably it’ll never happen again and I’ll be wearing these dresses til I’m 80. Hell, I’ll probably be buried in one of them.

      Like

  • Heather

    I love the glasses and the dresses! You look fab in the glasses, and you will look double-fab in those dresses. Yay!

    Like

  • b.h.quinn

    The glasses look very pretty on you, and the dresses seem to be quite pretty as well. I recently have gotten a grown up job that requires grown up clothes (more than I’ve had) and I have realized that I am *freakishly shaped* so I sympathize with your sometimes-plight.

    Pitch Perfect is, well, pitch perfect. I watch it every couple weeks because it is Glee, but awesome and I want to watch it even though Darren Criss is not in it and singing.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Thank you! What’s going ON with Glee? I used to love it, and now it just makes me sad. And I still haven’t seen the last episode of last season. It wasn’t on on-demand when I went to look for it and I just kind of forgot about it because I don’t care enough. Not enough Kurt; too much weirdness with Sue. And this season – how the hell are they going to deal with the Finn thing? It really needs to go off the air. Have a spinoff with Brit and Kurt, I’d watch that.

      Like

      • b.h.quinn

        I honestly do not remember what has happened for most of the last season. I mainly watch Glee to see Darren Criss sing because he has been my crush since A Very Potter Musical and I may TV-love him. I kinda fast-forward to his parts.

        Anyway! They are doing their two original opening episodes (which were Finn-less regardless) and then they are/will shoot a new third episode dealing with his passing. I believe they are going to involve drugs in some way, but I don’t know how.

        A spinoff with Brittany and Kurt (as long as Blaine is somehow in it too) would be awesome. The actress who plays Brit is pregnant, which is why she left, but maybe in the future.

        Like

        • lucysfootball

          I watched Blaine sing “Somebody That I Used to Know” with his brother over and over and OVER. It was AWESOME.

          I was thinking they should probably involve drugs – they could use it as a teaching moment, since so many high school students watch the show. I just hope they don’t make it too heavy-handed, which will do more harm than good.

          Brit is PREGNANT? Aw, good for her! I love her. She’s just the best.

          Like

          • b.h.quinn

            Actress-who-plays Brit is, indeed, married and pregnant. I’m glad they didn’t decide to write it in (or she didn’t let them).

            I am… very much in love with Darren Criss’s voice and a little in love with the man himself. He is one of the few artists whose music I always buy. Even the Glee stuff.

            Like

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