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Maybe I’m going deaf, maybe I’m going blind (maybe I’m just wicked old)

I am the first to admit I know nothing about popular music.

Nothing. Like, nothing. The radio station I listen to – when I actually listen to the radio – is mostly older stuff (or sometimes I branch out and listen to the local indie station.) Most of the time I just listen to the music I have on my phone because I know it’ll be stuff I like, with less talking. (Although the local commercials have their charm, sometimes. There’s been one lately for National Grid – our power company – that makes me laugh EVERY TIME. It’s just this guy talking about how you need to stay away from power lines, but he sounds SO PISSED, and he says something like “No matter HOW MANY TIMES we tell you guys to STAY AWAY FROM THE POWER LINES, people die because they touch them EVERY YEAR, so I guess we need to REMIND YOU AGAIN, SIGH SIGH SIGH” and seriously, it’s just about the best. Best of all? It’s not SUPPOSED to be funny. It’s supposed to be SERIOUS. That’s why it’s the best.)

DON'T YOU TOUCH THESE! How many times have I TOLD you? *sigh*

DON’T YOU TOUCH THESE! How many times have I TOLD you? *sigh*

Once and a while, though, a popular song will come on the channel I listen to. For a while, it was that foolish Bruno Mars song about giving some girl flowers and she wouldn’t have left him. “I SHOULDA BOUGHTCHU FLOWERS!” sang Bruno Mars, every time I turned on the damn radio. And it was annoying. Mostly because I am confused by Bruno Mars. I think it’s the autotuning. What’s up with all the autotuning these days, kiddos? I know this makes me sound like an old woman telling kids to get off my lawn, but I’m seriously perplexed. Is it because these “singers” actually can’t sing? Or is it because kids today like the sound of it? I’m seriously asking. I’m not even being sarcastic.

SERIOUSLY! They sound like ROBOTS! Why do people like this?

SERIOUSLY! They sound like ROBOTS! Why do people like this?

But yesterday – well, ok, this will show you how out of the loop I am. Yesterday, I heard this song that apparently, all of YOU have heard like a MILLION TIMES already. And I heard it for the FIRST TIME.

So this song came on, and it was kind of catchy, so I was like, “what’s this?” and bopping along a little and then some of the lyrics started making sense and I was like, “this is…I don’t know, kind of worrisomely sexist? And kind of…I don’t know, making sexual assault sound like cool-times?”

Yes. “Blurred Lines” came out in like June, or something, I guess. I know. It’s August. I am so far out of the loop that there’s ANOTHER loop, and THAT’S the loop I’m in, you guys.

Now, here is what I have learned about this song from people I know, and also the interwebs:

  • Robin Thicke is apparently some sort of big deal. (He sings R&B, which perfectly explains why I’ve never heard of him.) He is ALSO Alan Thicke’s son. I wonder if Kirk Cameron dreams of beating him up (or converting him to his krazy kult of Khristianity) when he sleeps at night for stealing his daddy?
  • Robin Thicke looks like a sexier version of Alan Thicke, but has a weird pompadour. And he has very pretty eyes.
  • I’m not the only one who thinks this song’s lyrics are a bit of a worry. A lot of people have been saying the same thing. (Well, DID say it. A few MONTHS ago. When it came OUT.)
  • Robin Thicke (and the people who sing this with him, who are apparently famous people, too – Pharrell and T.I.? I don’t know who those people are) is aware the song is sexist and inappropriate. And he doesn’t care. Actual quote from Mr. Thicke: “We tried to do everything that was taboo. Bestiality, drug injections, and everything that is completely derogatory towards women. Because all three of us are happily married with children, we were like, ‘We’re the perfect guys to make fun of this.’ People say, ‘Hey, do you think this is degrading to women?’ I’m like, ‘Of course it is. What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman. I’ve never gotten to do that before. I’ve always respected women.’ So we just wanted to turn it over on its head and make people go, ‘Women and their bodies are beautiful. Men are always gonna want to follow them around.'” This is…not the right thing to say in response to writing sexist and somewhat pro-sexual-assault lyrics, dude-bro.
  • The video posted above is the “rated” version. The unrated version has been banned from YouTube. You can only see it on VEVO, which I can’t embed here, I guess. In the “unrated” version, there are women who look naked that are wearing flesh-colored unitards or something. I don’t know. I didn’t care enough to watch this all over again twice.
  • A thing I said when upon hearing the lyric “I feel so lucky/you wanna hug me/what rhymes with hug me?” was “I don’t know. Bug me? Jug me? Slug me? I’m pretty sure ‘fuck me’ doesn’t, if that’s what you’re implying, Thicke.”

    Mr. Seaver's totally disappointed in your rhyming skillzzzz, Mike. I mean Robin. ROBIN. Sorry.

    Mr. Seaver’s totally disappointed in your rhyming skillzzzz, Mike. I mean Robin. ROBIN. Sorry.

  • This song seems to be about a variety of good girls who the singers KNOW want to be bad in the most degraded way, even if they don’t ADMIT they want to be bad, so the singers are going to…well. “Hug” them until they acquiesce, I guess. Also at one point Alan Thicke’s son talks about smoking all the weed, and one of the other singers talks about “hugging” someone in the back of a Volkswagen. (This joke is only funny if you’re a Mallrats fan.)

    YES. WANT. Who's getting this for me?

    YES. WANT. Who’s getting this for me?

  • Also, the song keeps repeating “I know you want it.” I don’t know about you, but any variation of “I/You know you want it” immediately puts me on edge.
  • However, all of this having been said: THIS SONG IS HELLACIOUSLY CATCHY. Like, if I was fifteen-years-ago Amy and still going out dancing, I would totally have danced to this. It’s got a good beat.

I honestly don’t know what to think about this. Is it inappropriate? Yes. Kind of. And a little stupid. I’d like to think it’s tongue-in-cheek (I’d say not a euphemism, but when you’re talking about this song, it’s probably totally a euphemism) but reading Robin Thicke’s quote (unless that, in itself, is ALSO tongue-in-cheek, like a many-layered pile of tongues in cheeks) makes me think it’s not.

There have been a lot of songs over the years that are inappropriate, I suppose. Everyone finds something to be offended about. Do I, personally, find this song offensive? Yes, on some level, I do. I don’t like that there’s a song that is apparently nudging its listeners to ignore what women SAY and imply what they want from…I don’t know, body language or what they interpret as longing looks or whatever and say “I know you want it.” And the fact that this is such a popular song – well, yeah. That’s an issue. Do I think everyone listening to this is going to be all “THESE AREN’T JUST SONG LYRICS, THEY ARE WAYS I SHOULD LIVE MY LIFE!” No. Of course not. No more than I think everyone who listened to that cop-killer song killed cops, or that everyone who listened to the “he drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink” song drank all the varieties of alcohol (and then sang the songs that reminded them of the good times, and the songs that reminded them of the better times.)

I know a lot of people are all “it’s just a song!” as well as many people are all “THIS IS VERY IRRESPONSIBLE!”

I’m getting old. I don’t get as upset about things as I used to; I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I don’t think I’ll watch the video over and over. However, if the song comes on the radio? I’m probably going to car-dance to it. It’s super-catchy, you guys. I’m not even kidding. And I usually HATE this type of music.

So, my super-late review of the song “Blurred Lines” by Alan Thicke’s son with pretty blue eyes who wears douchey fedoras?

Good song with a happy beat and a fairly inappropriate message and a pervy video.

(I think there are bigger things to get upset about in the world. The situation in Russia. The man that killed that woman and her son and then took off with her sixteen-year-old daughter. The fact that the shortcut I take to get home is CLOSED for ROADWORK and I have to take the LONG WAY HOME and there is SO MUCH TRAFFIC THAT WAY ZOMG. Things like that.)

According to the interwebz, “Blurred Lines” is the song of the summer, anyway, and look at all the places it’s been:

Jimmy Fallon and Robin Thicke! With classroom instruments! Sorry, I don’t know, even if you’re offended by this, if you can watch this without smiling a little. Jimmy Fallon is one of those magic people that makes me grin inappropriately. I just love him.

This guy whose happy neighbor is bopping around to it in his backseat! I decided I love this guy, because his eyes remind me of BFFs when BFF is comically surprised by something. I MISS YOU, BFF!

The Muppets! I don’t know if this is adorable or creepy.

MY song of the summer is (upon research) from like 6 or 7 years ago, so as you can see, OUT OF THE LOOP. I’ve been listening to this for the past month, over and over, on repeat. Because it makes me cry.

(See, I like my songs bittersweet, and poignant, and I like to leave crying, 99% of the time. Once in a great while, I like to bop around. But mostly, I like to cry. It’s my best thing.)

I have also randomly gotten obsessed with covers of Radiohead’s “Creep.” I found a Brandi Carlile cover, and an Ingrid Michaelson cover, and I listen to them OVER AND OVER. I don’t know why, all of a sudden. It’s a good song, though.

OK, those of you in the loop, what do you think about this song? Fun? Offensive? Did you not even know it existed until I posted about it? What is YOUR favorite song of the summer? (Extra points if it’s sad.)

Happy Thursday, people of the internet. It’s almost the weekend! We’re almost there! WE CAN DO IT!

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

51 responses to “Maybe I’m going deaf, maybe I’m going blind (maybe I’m just wicked old)

  • cynthiaw

    OMG – I fucking hate that song. I will not even car dance to it because I don’t want to encourage Robin Thicke to make any more music.

    Even if I didn’t find him to be an absolute fucking douche who couldn’t sing to save his life without Autotune, I would loathe him now. Making a song about degrading women and raping them until they like it FUCKING PISSES ME OFF. And no, I don’t find it ironic or edgy or anything – we already live in a culture that objectifies and degrades women; we already live in a culture where boys are taught that it’s okay to cat call women on the street; we already live in a culture that glorifies violence against women on tv and in the movies – you are not making a new statement about it, Robin Thicke, you fucking asshole, you are participating in rape culture.

    His attitude about it pisses me off even more – seriously, if someone dropped a fucking house on him, I’d probably dance around like the munchkins in WoO. Ugh… now I’m ragey about this fucking douchenozzle again.

    Like

  • elaine4queen

    I liked it when the OC was on. That was a great way to hear the young people’s music.

    Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    You can’t just post pictures like that one with Cameron without giving me a warning first. My brain wasn’t ready to filter out stupidity of such intensity.

    (And, for the record, ducks and crocodiles are pretty closely related so they could potentially have some kind of cross-over offspring if they got some assistance for the actual mating procedure. Or at least we could merge them using gene-splicing technology to create a hybrid animal – probably something looking a bit like a small dinosaur.)

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      OMG, I totally thought of you when I found that picture. (There were some others, too. You would HATE some of his dogma. It’s the craziest of crazy, sincerely.)

      I love this second paragraph. And I want to see a duck/crocodile baby. It would be a crocoduck, and we would be the BEST OF FRIENDS. (Or it might be a duckodile. Either way.)

      Like

  • siamesedream (@siamesedream)

    I don’t really listen to radio either but I’ve had Blurred Lines stuck in my head for nearly two weeks, ever since I saw the Jimmy Fallon version. TWO WEEKS.

    Help.

    But yeah, I pretty much feel the same way you do about it. Damn you, catchy pop music.

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  • elaine4queen

    PS That video is full of wardrobe malfunctions.

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    • lucysfootball

      I KNOW! Honestly, I was more distressed by those plastic-looking dresses than the flesh-colored thingamabobbers. Plastic would stick to your bits and be uncomfortable. No thank you.

      Like

  • elaine4queen

    And I don’t like being told I know I want it. I’m pretty sure that’d be a good way to make sure I definitely don’t and am likely to phone the police.

    Like

  • grrgoyl

    I’m with you, sister. My “summer song” is probably Thrift Shop by Macklemore (talk about catchy beat! And, bonus, no autotune OR “rape is A-OK” lyrics), but before that I was all about the Cure songs on my phone. If it weren’t for the trend of sticking hot songs into TV shows like “Teen Wolf,” “Walking Dead” and “The Following,” I’d still be stuck in the 90’s.

    Also, quadruple like Cynthiaw’s comment above. Our culture isn’t already pro-rape enough, we need songs with ironically rapey messages (because everyone is smart enough to recognize irony, right?)?

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    • grrgoyl

      (For that matter, the follow-up “Same Love” is surprisingly beautiful)

      Like

      • lucysfootball

        OMG, I just discovered this last night and WEPT. I didn’t know about Macklemore until a friend told me about him in May (I know, out of the loop) and he’s fine, but I wasn’t blown away…and then found “Same Love” last night. What a great song. What a heartbreakingly great song.

        Like

    • lucysfootball

      I’ve actually heard “Thrift Shop” (thank you, friend A., who is up on modern music and showed me the video when I visited!) – I liked the video, was kind of meh on the music. Saw him on Saturday Night Live, again, kind of meh. But he’s entertaining, if nothing else, and seems to be having a good time.

      I listen to older things on the phone, or sometimes I’ll find a singer/band I like and didn’t know about before and download all of their albums and listen to them over and over and over. I’m pretty predictable.

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  • Corvidae in the Fields

    These kids these days, with their Robin Thickes and their twerkings! Where are the days of the classy fellers who were aces at using women as sex objects? Lost in the sea of music videos, I tell you! Harrumpf!

    Like

  • Charleen

    I’m out of the loop too. I’ve never actually heard this song before. I kind of wish that I had, because I find it more annoying than catchy… but I wonder if that’s because I read the whole post before playing the song and I was predisposed not to like it, or if I just don’t really like it.

    Like

  • Nagzilla

    Thank you. I hate that song. As soon as I hear it I turn the channel because I don’t want to listen to catchy songs about date rape. Blarg.

    My summer song? That one about crashing your car into a bridge and letting it burn. I Don’t Care? I think that’s the name of it. Maybe she broke up with the guy because he was a “I know you want it” kind of douchenozzle.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      It seems there are a lot more hating-it people than liking-it people. I seriously don’t know how I missed this controversy. I don’t usually live with my head in a hole like an ostrich. It’s been a busy summer, I guess.

      Like

  • becomingcliche

    I’ve never heard the song, though I am listening to the one that you like. I like it, too.

    My song of the summer? Um… I’m out of the loop, too. I don’t have one. I used to have entire soundtracks to summer.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Isn’t “Bulletproof Weeks” beautiful? I listened to it right before bed the other night and fell asleep with teardrops in my ears.

      I was trying to think if I had any HAPPY summer songs. I don’t think I do. I listen to Pink sometimes. She’s happy in an angry way, I suppose. Sometimes. (But the songs of hers I like most are the sad ones. I’m pretty predictable.)

      Like

  • Gigi

    I’m with you – out of the loop. The first time I heard it was about a week ago – the Jimmy Fallon version and I liked it. Although, to be truthful, I never really heard the lyrics. Then when I was in the car with my son and I turned it up he said, “you LIKE this song?!” And went on to explain the lyrics, I felt a nauseous. This from the mom that once obsessively read the lyrics to every song her son tried to download – to keep him from buying songs that degrade women. #sigh. But the beat IS kinda catchy.

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    • lucysfootball

      It is catchy. Unfortunately so. It’s been in my head all day from listening to it enough to write this.

      I don’t know that I was always so out of the loop. I think I’m just too busy to keep up with EVERYTHING, and music fell by the wayside a while back.

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  • cynthiaw

    If you just like the catchiness of the beat – you can always listen to/watch this parody video. Bonus: the girls can actually sing! Way better than Robin Thicke…

    Like

  • Heather

    I can’t stand this song, but not just because of the lyrics. I just don’t like it. HOWEVER, I loved watching The Roots play backup with classroom instruments. Hee!

    Like

  • Corvidae in the Fields

    Apparently, Marvin Gaye’s family is seeking possible court action over copyright infringement. They contest Robin, et al, made “Blurred Lines” a little too close to this:

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  • b.h.quinn

    The lyrics are very sketchy, but I don’t really listen to music until someone gives the songs to me, so I’m never all that worried about it.

    When I heard this song for the first time, I actually did reply to “rhymes with hug me” with “Slug me?” and made my boyfriend laugh so hard he had to pull over to the side of the road. My protestations that that was likely exactly what I would do to a guy who kept saying “You know you want it” to me only made him laugh harder.

    (I do love Jimmy Fallon and the Roots, though.)

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Slug me is TOTALLY the answer. And your boyfriend sounds awesome.

      Jimmy Fallon is the best. He just seems to really enjoy things, you know? And he went to college here in my town! That makes me a proud panda!

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      • b.h.quinn

        I was not trying to be funny, either; I was genuinely confused as to what he was talking about. My mind was saying that there is nothing sexual that rhymes with “hug me” unless it is a weird thing that I don’t know about. My mouth said “Slug me.”

        That should make you proud! He has done well.

        Like

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