On Wednesdays, we wear pink.

I survived high school.

I assume most of you did, too. Or you wouldn’t be here reading this. Well, some of you might still BE in high school. (If so, you have my most abject apologies. You’ll make it out. Just keep your head down and remember: it ends eventually.)

Once you’re out of high school, if it was bad, you breathe a sigh of relief. The worst is behind you; the rest will be cake. Right? I mean, you survived high school. You survived being shoved into a building with people who wanted to destroy everything you were on a daily basis for four very, VERY long years. What else could the world throw at you that could compete with that?

What no one tells you is, the bullies don’t always grow up. Sometimes, they just move onto another building, be it actual or metaphorical, and continue doing what they do best: making others feel small so they can feel big.

Lately, I’ve noticed the building they’ve moved into is the blogosphere.

And blogging, lately, has been like attending the school in Mean Girls.

You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, J.V. jocks, Asian nerds, cool Asians, Varsity jocks, unfriendly black hotties, girls who eat their feelings, girls who don’t eat anything, desperate wannabes, burnouts, sexually active band geeks, the greatest people you will ever meet, and the worst. Beware of Plastics.

Blogging attracts all kinds of people. That’s honestly one of the cool things about it. I mean, if we were all the same, what fun would that be? On any given day you can read about life in Europe, the latest tech news, a humorous take on a trip to the laundromat, a serious piece about the nature of grief, a post about motherhood, a post recapping the latest episode of True Blood, a book review. All without leaving the comfort of your living room (or your office chair, if you’re reading at work, I suppose. Keep an eye out for your boss.)

It’s great because it’s open to anyone with access to a computer and an internet connection. It’s equal-opportunity. If you have a voice, and words to express yourself? Welcome to the community.

Except, as we learn in Mean Girls…beware of Plastics.

In the movie, the Plastics rule the school. They’re mean to everyone they don’t like (and even people they do like, sometimes.) They have rules; how you can act, what you have to wear on certain days, and where you can (and can’t) sit, depending on what you’re wearing.

In the blogosphere, the Plastics are…well, pretty much the same. Only they’re hiding behind a computer screen, so they feel their anonymity brings even more power. Let’s call them the Web-Plastics.

The Web-Plastics think their writing is better than anyone else’s; therefore, they rip apart everyone else’s writing.

The Web-Plastics think certain topics (mommy blogging, book blogging) are lesser-than; therefore, they run those bloggers down. They depreciate anything they do. They try to make them feel small, because their writing isn’t as important as whatever they’re doing.

The Web-Plastics steal ideas and posts from “lesser” bloggers, then when they’re called out on it, turn it around on the one who was stolen from: “You’re just trying to hitch a ride on our popularity. You’re no one. We’re someone. Shut up and stop whining.”

The Web-Plastics think they’re the only ones doing anything worthwhile; if other bloggers aren’t doing it the way they would, they mock them, and shame them, sometimes even publicly, so that sometimes those bloggers become so disheartened they stop writing altogether.

The Web-Plastics think that “funny” equals “cruel,” and write posts tagged “humor” in which they mock…anything. Whatever they feel like mocking. But usually people that are just trying their hardest to get by.

Best of all, the Web-Plastics have minions.

As numerous as these minions, but nowhere near as adorable.

As numerous as these minions, but nowhere near as adorable.

These minions are other Web-Plastics, or wannabe Web-Plastics. Who will like and comment on everything they do; who will go to the posts of the people who are out of favor with the Web-Plastics and troll them with mean comments and insults and sometimes skate the edge of threats; who will say or do whatever the Web-Plastics tell them to, because it’s easier to go along with the dictator than to become one of the people who’s being bullied. And believe you me, that’s who you become, if you buck the Web-Plastics. You get the full-frontal of their wrath. And their petrified minions’ wrath, as well.

The Plastics and the Web-Plastics have many things in common, but it all boils down to this:

On Wednesdays, WE WEAR PINK.

And if you don’t wear pink, you can’t sit with them.

Social (media) suicide.

There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m tired of being told I need to wear pink, and I’m tired of being told where I can and cannot sit, and I’m tired of seeing evil stuff being done and not trying to stop it. I didn’t go through 8 (yes, 8, the bullies started early at my school) years of hell just to be told what to say or do or be now.

I’m tired of seeing mean posts about fellow bloggers. And mean slightly-veiled Facebook statuses. And snarky comments on other bloggers’ posts that they obviously worked very hard on. And don’t think the irony has missed me that the minute, the MINUTE, anyone says a word about any of the Web-Plastics, they run crying for sympathy, or run to their minions crying “vengeance shall be ours! You’re all my best friends until I no longer need you, and when that happens, I will ignore you as if you never existed.”

They had no idea they were going to be jettisoned so quickly. Look at their sad little faces.

They had no idea they were going to be jettisoned so quickly. Look at their sad little faces.

Or, even more delicious, the irony that the Web-Plastics would be the first ones to come out as anti-bullying, because NO! THEY would never bully anyone! And anyone that WOULD, my GOODNESS, hang ’em up by their TOENAILS! Bullying is, like, just so WRONG!

Because what they’re doing, see, it isn’t BULLYING. They rule the internet, you see. They’re just running it the way it needs to be run. Who better to make the rules for the rest of us?

Here’s a rule I like to live by on the internet.

If you don’t like someone’s blog: don’t read it.

It’s very simple.

Take it out of your reader. Don’t click on it. Don’t click on people’s links when they tweet about it.

If the blog is offensive, if the blog is openly offending you, or a large group of people, or it’s just flat-out wrong about something – fine. I get it. I do. You want to fight against injustice.

But if the blog is, in your opinion, poorly-written, or about a topic that bores you, or a topic you consider beneath you and your perfect sparkly rainbow taste: just don’t read it.

There. I’ve freed up precious moments in your day to do whatever it is you do. Kick puppies. Berate your children for not being better at sports. Scream at your spouses for not getting that perfect crease in your slacks. Masturbate until you weep about your empty, sad, lonely life.

Today, I unfollowed fifteen blogs that I noticed were getting meaner and meaner; that had gone full-on Web-Plastic. Going around doling out attention to people they wanted to join their cults, but not too much attention; it wouldn’t be seemly. Writing posts telling others how to behave, and how not to behave. Calling out others for not doing it right. Calling out others for not being them.

Join me. Love me. Want to BE me. Until I'm finished with you. Or decide to make you my target. Either way. There's no escape, otherwise. Just so you know.

Join me. Love me. Want to BE me. Until I’m finished with you. Or decide to make you my target. Either way. There’s no escape, otherwise. Just so you know.

It’s metaphorically Wednesday, and I’m wearing black. I’m wearing green, blue, yellow, white. I’m wearing anything but pink.

Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.

Bloggers: we’re all worthy. We’re all writing our truths. We’re all doing the best we can with what we have. I’m not talking to the Web-Plastics. I’m talking to the rest of you. If we join together, we’re a bigger group than they are. If we support one another and refuse to let the negativity into our lives – if we just flat-out refuse to participate, be it by reading, commenting, or being sucked into the maelstrom of drama these people need to survive – they will eventually wither and die. Because they need the drama. They feed on what’s created when they’re mean. They’re psychic vampires.

If we put out all the good we have, if we refuse to accept it when it is addressed to ourselves or others, if we support our fellow bloggers…

…THEN we’ll be a force to be reckoned with.

It’ll be like pouring a bucket of water on the Wicked Witch of the West. Lots of screaming. Lots of fizzling. And, best of all, lots of disappearing.

On Wednesdays, they may want us to wear pink.

I’m here to say on Wednesdays, as on any day of the week, you can wear whatever the hell you want. And you’re going to look FABULOUS, darling.

Keep writing. Keep doing your thing. Because I can tell you from experience – there’s nothing a bully likes less than someone standing up to them. Unless it’s being ignored. They’re not too keen on that, either.

And hey, you guys? You’re welcome to sit at my table.

It’s a huge table.

It’s the size of the whole fucking internet.

(Special thanks to Emily at The Waiting, whose blog is wonderful and whose post earlier in the week – and the conversation with her I had in the comments – helped bring this post, which was percolating at the time, to the page. Emily, you are always welcome at my table. No matter what you wear. I’ll save you a seat and one of those little milks.)

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

46 responses to “On Wednesdays, we wear pink.

  • sortaginger

    How many days a week can I wear a ponytail?

    I agree with everything you have said. The minions are the worst, especially if you happen to mention offhand that you aren’t into this or that, or you don’t think Pioneer Woman is the GREATEST THING EVER.

    Ahem. Sorry.

    For what it’s worth, I unfriended a lot of my “friends” from high school on Facebook…because it was just like high school.I have a low tolerance for this mess.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Whenever you want. No rules at my table. Well, I’d like it if people bathed regularly. Just because, ew with the body odor. But otherwise, go to, lunchmates, go to.

      YES! You have to love ALL THE THINGS they do. Urgh.

      I never friended the high school people. I blocked most of them. Because of hatred. I’m evil like that.

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    Hear hear! Mean people need to be ignored until they disappear. Or, if that doesn’t help, brushed off your lapel like the speck of dust that they are.

    Well said, Amy.

    *sits down at table*

    Like

  • The Waiting

    *Wacko round of applause, paired with whistling and possibly party noisemakers too.*

    Needless to say, this was amazing and wonderful and I totally agree. Blogging, to me, is about teasing out meaning from the events of my life, and often the words that result are sloppy and messy. But they’re mine, and for that reason I love them and believe that I’m entitled to them. And just as I am entitled to them, everyone else is free as a bird to find their meaning through their words and not feel the pressure to cover a certain topic in a certain way. If we were all the same, this world would indeed be a dumb place. We’d get tired of looking at each other. xoxox

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      You ARE entitled to them. We ALL are! And yes, who would want a world with all the same people? Even the bullies wouldn’t want that, if they realized what it would be like. Because then, who would they bully? They’d be so sad and lonely. They’d resort to yelling at themselves in the mirror.

      Like

  • sj

    This made me cry, mostly angry cry.

    Thank you for writing this.

    I’ve also started unfollowing a bunch of blogs (for many of the same reasons). I started a month or so ago when I took most of the blogs I follow on fb down. I don’t comment on public posts (with my real name) anyway, so it seemed stupid to keep them in my feed.

    I got some backlash from that when people realized it had happened, but I’m past the point of caring.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I don’t even pay attention to who follows my blog on Facebook. It’s mostly there for people who don’t follow it other places, like a reader, or email. People are silly. Who cares about Facebook?

      I’ll backlash them with a ladle. Leave my sj alone, yo.

      Like

  • crankygiraffe

    I hated high school so much. And, yes, it does seem like bullying is coming out everywhere! I’ve been lucky enough to not have drama and bullying on my blog (yet), but in my real life, holy hell in a hand bag!!! I think I just said to someone the other night: “It’s worse than high school!”

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Well, since high school was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced, it’s not WORSE than high school for me…but I have friends that had a pretty easy high school, and it’s really hard on them. And I’m very protective toward my friends. Grumble.

      Like

  • Sinkwriter

    Bravo. Seriously. Bra-frickin’-o. This is the kind of post that makes me stand up and applaud. This is the kind of post that makes me want to stand up on my own soap box and stand up for points that are important to me. This is a very well said post. Thanks for writing it.

    Like

  • Words for Worms

    AMEN! I’ve seen some really awful blog on blog attacks lately. I’m not a fan. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. While I love love love getting readers, if someone unfollows, I figure I’m just no longer their cup of tea. And that’s okay. There’s no need to get all shouty and insulty about it. I’d love to join your tribe. On Wednesday I wear whatever is clean in my closet! Wahoo!

    Like

    • aliceatwonderland

      I don’t even realize if someone stops following me most of the time, unless said person tells me they did. I have the memory of a gerbil, so I never remember what the exact number is, or whether it went up or down. And honestly, I don’t much care anymore. In the end, it’s a blog.

      I like pink, but I’ll only wear it if I want to – if you tell me to, best bet I’m going to be wearing black. Or whatever is clean-ish.

      Like

    • lucysfootball

      I stopped paying attention to my follower-count when WordPress started letting every spammer in the world have a blog. I get about 20 follows a day. If I’m lucky, one of them’s a real person. It’s not even worth clicking anymore unless the person comments so I know they’re real.

      Like

  • poetlandia

    I think it’s not just the blogosphere. I think it’s the world. (I wrote about this today, actually.)

    I don’ t know. I’m tired, frankly. I’m sick of feeling as though someone doesn’t like me when I don’t even have a clue as to why. And when they don’t even know me. I’m tired of people being cruel. I’m worried about the world and how it ended up this way.

    I’m wracking my brain to come up with a way to change it. Because this wasn’t who we were. This is us on reality tv/ptsd/technologybeforepeople etc. And I don’t think this is who we’re supposed to be.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I read your post (and am just getting around to comments – been a LONG day here in Amyland. Sigh.)

      I agree. I don’t know if it’s us changing our mindset…because I know we’re probably not going to change them…but it’s infuriating. And it’s exhausting.

      Like

  • khhsocratica

    I can’t say I’m surprised that bullies are here, too. My last job was in a high school, and there were more bullies in the administration than amongst the kids. Bullies are everywhere, I guess, demanding that you act a certain way, look a certain way, BE a certain way, or you won’t be worthy.
    What in the world ever gave bullies the idea that they get to act this way, to domineer over other people? Yuck.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I assume it’s low self-esteem – at least, that’s what I tell myself, and that’s what all the bullied kids tell ourselves. But sometimes, I think it’s just that some people are broken, and assholes, and they get off on being cruel.

      Luckily, I learned how to deal with it for years. I’m pretty skilled at the dealing-with-bullies thing now.

      Like

  • The Saucy Southerner

    This entire post is just DEADASSON! There is so much petty bs out there in the blogging world; it’s shocking, disturbing, incredibly childish, selfish, mean-spirited, cliquish, and ugly. A lot. I just don’t understand the mindset. At all.

    At least some people take their pettiness to private groups, but the in-public veiled snark is pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain and who can read between the lines.

    I loved every word of this post. P~

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Thank you! I think it’s little people who think they can be big somewhere, and that somewhere is on the internet. And in order to be big, they have to put others down. It’s just high school all over again, only with a keyboard.

      And I’m over it. I am SO over it.

      Like

  • Corvidae in the Fields

    Being candid about myself, I understand my honesty can be mauling. Some have considered that “mean,” but after living for so long simply saying it is less damaging than trying to pad to the hilt. Some are good at diplomacy, I’m not so much. Different skill set.

    I’ve seen several blogs for which I do not care. Whether it be Sturm und Drang or a boring topic, I’m not interested in it. That’s the nature of having preference, however I don’t find myself going out of my way to wage war on other bloggers either. It’s a fairly “live and let live” situation. I use “de todo ha de haber en el mundo”, or it takes all kinds to make a world, as a mantra when I run into a matter of personal preference.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Well, there’s honesty, and then there’s tact…I mean, I get being honest, but sometimes you might want to be a little tactful to blunt the honesty. Or not. Your call.

      There are millions of blogs. A lot of them aren’t my thing. But I’m not going to be MEAN about them. Why would I? That’s not my place. They do their thing, I do mine, we’re all happy.

      Like

      • Corvidae in the Fields

        Tact is an elusive gremlin. I think I saw it hiding under a school bus in Kalamazoo, but it scurried away before I asked the Department of Ed tech support if their software was written by a Congressman’s nephew as it was the least intuitive piece of software I had ever had the pleasure of running.

        Like

  • aliceatwonderland

    THIS is the post I’ve been wanting to write for ages, but didn’t quite know how to do it. I actually searched for posts like it, anything comparing WordPress to high school, because too often that is how I see it. All I ever heard was praise for how perfect WP is. Like you said, there are some awesome people out there. But then there are the plastics.

    There are plastics here. And you have to play the game to sit at the table. When I was first here, I almost found myself getting caught up in the whole “hero worship” thing before I realized what I was doing and took a step back. It’s not worth it. It never was. I’ve seen it drive people away. And at times it’s made me want to go somewhere else, start all over again.

    We all want to be liked. But if you have to be someone else to be liked, or follow someone else blindly all over the blogosphere? No thanks.

    Like

  • becomingcliche

    I was going to say that I haven’t experienced blog-shaming. But I guess maybe I have. Being called a “mommy blogger” feels like an insult somehow. Why has it turned into that, and more importantly, why have I let it?

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Well, kids and homes are STUPID, of course.

      *eyeroll*

      Don’t let it. No one should let it. And I hate when I see it happening, and I hate when I see bloggers getting disheartened by it. It’s so infuriating to me. Why are people so mean? What exactly does it benefit them? Grr. I want to neck-punch like 50 people.

      Like

  • Jelzmar

    And hey, you guys? You’re welcome to sit at my table.

    It’s a huge table.

    It’s the size of the whole fucking internet.

    Love this.

    Like

  • Heather

    YES!!!

    Thank you for this.

    Like

  • mfennvt

    Well said, Amy. I haven’t run into drama at my blog yet, just random spam. (it’s very quiet over there for the most part) But I see this kind of bullying high school crap in lots of other places on the web. Baffling.

    Can I bring Hershey’s kisses to the table for desserts or do we have a soft serve ice cream dispenser, too? :)

    Like

  • Soozcat

    Very well said. One of the best things about leaving high school is having the option to choose friends who are truly simpatico, and to broom plastics from your life.

    I’ve had to deal with adult bullies. Some of them like to pick on your writing style, or subject, or even your blog layout (what?). Some of them are furious when they perceive you as more successful than they are (and they’ll try to give you “friendly advice” to keep you from “getting hurt.” Ha.) The most satisfying way to deal with these people is to thank them generously for their caring and concern, and then completely ignore their suggestions.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      You’re a better person than I am. The last person who commented here with helpful tips for me (which always boil down to “you write too many words! Write fewer words! If you wrote fewer words, you’d get more readers! Reading all these words gave me a headache!”) kind of got an ear (eye?) ful. If I was soliciting feedback, I’d have asked for it. I don’t need unsolicited helpful tips from strangers. I have friends I take those from, and gladly, because I trust them.

      I’m really cranky, though. You seem calm. I congratulate you on your calmness. I would like a little more calmness.

      Like

      • cynthiaw

        Ha – anybody who complains about ALL THE WORDS because OMG, THE WORDS, they give me a headache is a big dummy, so who cares what he/she/it thinks?

        Like

        • lucysfootball

          Yeah, he wasn’t a winner. I have no idea what would make someone decide to comment on a complete stranger’s blog with “helpful tips” like “completely change the way you do things around here.” This isn’t Walmart. You don’t get to leave customer feedback. Weird.

          Like

  • A Table of My Own | aliceatwonderland

    […] to one of those gyms with the walls covered in mirrors.  I read a post on Lucy’s Football called “On Wednesdays We Wear Pink.”  This is in reference to the movie “Mean Girls”, in case you didn’t know.  Last […]

    Like

  • Andi-Roo (@theworld4realz)

    1. I wear pink fairly often, but only cuz it’s my favorite color. I don’t reserve it for Wednesdays, and I don’t care what color others are wearing.

    2. While I don’t particularly care for Mommy Blogs {it’s just not my bag}, I don’t read them, so it’s not a big deal for me. And I couldn’t imagine being a meany-pants about it. Whatever, you guys. Write whatever you want. My opinion isn’t worth changing your life over! Seriously — we can all fit at the table, and just cuz I’m allergic to shrimp doesn’t mean you can’t eat some. Don’t think I’m skimping on the strawberries if that’s YOUR allergy!

    3. Bullies suck. I hope if I have ever been guilty of bullying, someone calls me on it so I can reexamine my behavior and figure out if that’s really how I mean to be. I mean, I will totally bully an a-hole getting up in my grill, or attacking my parenting, or coming between me-n-my hubz. I will totally bully a bullying jerk-face. I will totally bully anyone who treats my loved ones incorrectly. But mostly? I just want people to leave me alone and go do their thing far, far away from me. So PLEASE, if I ever get bully-ish, let me know. I don’t mind being a bitch, but I want it to be intentional, if you know what I’m sayin’.

    4. This bloggy-blog is one of my faves. And this topic is awesome. And I’m sharing this on FB. My “fan” page, not my personal page, cuz my “fan” page is where I’m allowed to be ME and say shit that needs to be said, whereas my personal page is filled with fuddy-duddy-family and so-called friends who all feel the need to shout me down when I start getting jiggy with it. You know, bullying me. So I let ’em stay there, and complain about their nasty behavior elsewhere. Not in secret, mind you — they’ve all been invited to come over — and I don’t say anything on my “fan” page that I wouldn’t say to their faces… But for SOME reason they decline. Must be due to all the like-minded individuals who would blast them and tell them to STFU. You know, my fans — or what I like to refer to as MY REAL FRIENDS.

    5. Sorry I hi-jacked your comments. I love you. Save me a chocolate milk?

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Thank you! You didn’t hijack. I have no problem with lengthy comments. (Because I write lengthy blogs, how can I complain?)

      Agreed about the FB page vs. “fan” page – I don’t use my fan page nearly as much as I should. I should work on that. But my FB page is the same way. I’m barely there. Too many people ready to be judgey or mean that, for whatever reason, I can’t unfriend.

      Chocolate milk saved for you!

      Like

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