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With the wheezes, and the sneezes, and the sinuses really a pip…

I am a terrible sick person.

I don’t get sick often. This is a good thing, because when I DO get sick, I am not good at it.

Dammit, NPH! Why must you be so awesome? WHY?!?!?

Dammit, NPH! Why must you be so awesome? WHY?!?!?

Things I want to do when I get sick:

  • moan
  • sleep
  • moan some more
  • not interact with human beings
  • imagine how the sweet, sweet embrace of death would be preferable to the evil sickness that has me in its clutches
  • eat all the soup

This is what I want to do whether I have the flu or whether I have a pesky cold. Right now, I have what I think is between the two; it’s gone past being a pesky cold, in that I’m coughing up half a lung and have lost most of my voice and have a fever, but I’m not DYING, like I was when I had the flu over Christmas. It is being made worse by the fact that it is officially allergy season here in my beloved Capital District; the pollen is so thick in the air that it’s like walking through a sticky golden haze. When I use my windshield wiper fluid to get it off the car, it creates pollen-mud. Why are you so oversexed, trees and flowers? You’re going way overboard, pollen-wise. My poor little allergy-prone body just utterly cannot handle this.

I thought I was just having an allergy attack this week, but as the week progressed and the sore throat got worse, I could no longer deny that I was actually getting sick. Allergies very seldom cause fevers. Or coughing. Sneezing, maybe, but not coughing to the point your whole ribs ache. DAMMIT.

I had to leave work early today because not only could the callers not hear me, it was like gargling with broken glass to talk. Sorry, coworkers. I’m an embarrassment. Luckily it wasn’t very busy and we had plenty of people working today, so if I had to be sick, it was a good day for it to happen.

NOT as luckily, I’m in a stretch of extremely busy busy-ness over the next 5 days. Plays to see, people to visit, auditions to run, work to do. I managed to see and review a show last night, but coughed all the way through it, and am not 100% sure how well the review came out, because I had to stop every few minutes to put my head down and moan.

Also, when you have a fever and run out of cold medication, you sometimes make poor decisions, and then you wake up and say, did I really make that poor decision? Or was it all a fever dream? And then you check into it and realize that yes, yes you did make that poor decision, and you feel like an utter and complete asshole for having done so and probably owe people an apology for things done while under the influence of fevers. I mean, so I hear. Such things happen. To some people. Not ME. Heh. No. Not ever me.

So now I’m off to make another poor decision, which is to attempt to sit through a play because it’s my only chance to see it. It’s only an hour and fifteen minutes long; I had some soup; I took a nice fortifying nap; I drank some unnaturally-orange store-brand DayQuil and am bringing a bottle of water larger than my forearm and a bag of cough drops the size of my OTHER forearm and luckily it’s at my theater so hopefully no one will get too upset at the feverish hacking chick sitting woozily in the back row.

Moan. Moan moan MOAN. Cough. I’m the most pitiful thing that ever pitifuled. Doom. Gloom. Tiny violin.

(I promise to be back soon with final episodes of “Adventures in Baltimore” if I don’t cough myself to death. No. Really. I promise.)

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

35 responses to “With the wheezes, and the sneezes, and the sinuses really a pip…

  • galinthegreyhat

    I feel all your pain. For I too am down with whatever this hybrid illness is. No sir I don’t like it. COUGH

    Like

  • I’ll be under this here rock… | Gal in the Grey Hat

    […] Now here I sit Saturday night still feeling like death, but forcing myself to write something. I do take comfort in knowing I’m not the only blogger feeling like le death this evening. In fact this blogger lives (I’m guessing) not far from me in real life. But we’ve never met in real life. Anyway her blog is called Lucy’s Football she is very funny (read it), you can read her post on the subject of her illness here. […]

    Like

  • wordsmith94

    Aw :( I hope you get better soon!

    Like

  • The Waiting

    Feel better soon! I am equally useless when I don’t feel good. I don’t even know what I’ll do someday when I get sick with the baby around. She will have to change her own diapers.

    Totally unrelated, but I just saw your caption to your FP badge. I feel the EXACT same way every time I see it. We are twinsies ;)

    Like

    • The Waiting

      Ugh, I should clarify that I feel that way about MY FP badge, not yours. You know. *Inserts foot in mouth.*

      Like

    • lucysfootball

      I’m such a baby about being sick. I seriously am usually very practical 99% of the time, but give me a cold and I want my mom, some soup, and my bed. And to whine. Incessantly. SUCH a baby, I am.

      Hee, I totally knew what you meant about the FP badge. I am HAPPY to be twinsies!

      Like

  • becomingcliche

    I am so sorry you are sick! I hope you can find a quiet corner sans humans to curl up in soon!

    Like

  • the diarist

    Feel all the better! Really!

    Also this line cracked me up: Why are you so oversexed, trees and flowers? LOL!

    Like

  • franhunne4u

    OK, here is unasked advice. Prone to colds myself.

    Put yourself into bed, sleep, sleep some more and sleep again. Have I mentioned sleeping yet?- That is what your body wants to do anyway!

    When you think of soup – sorry to all those vegetarians out there – it has to be homemade chicken soup. There is zinc in that – that is good for you. And it tastes delicious and feeds fine, when you add some tiny soup noodles. (I usually make it while I’m healthy and store it in the fridge. For emergencies like this one.)
    Drink. Preferably water or hot herb teas with honey (thyme is good against this coughing urge – there are ready made teas against coughing). Get a prescription for some serious coughing medicine, think codein, to be able to sleep undisturbed during your night. Use that wisely!!! It’s strong!
    Do not take those at midnight – they usually last longer than 8 hours – use them about 9 or 10 pm and – uhm did I mention sleep is an important cure?
    Another coughing medicine, onions, in slices, with honey, till there is onion juice – take a spoon full of that. Home made coughing medicine. Onions AND honey have anti-bacterial powers. (Never underestimate the power of food.)
    Take a break. What times do we live in when we don’t even have the time to heal?
    Sleep, soup, sleep, tea, sleep, medicine, sleep, feed Dumbcat and clean his cat toilet, sleep. Did I really mention sleep yet? And – get well soon. ;)

    Like

  • elaine4queen

    So it’s YOU coughing through the performance?

    *scowls*

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Only some! Only maybe five or six times! And I’m trying to be quiet! *muffled cough*

      Like

      • elaine4queen

        Lemon, ginger, and honey. Preferably manuka honey, but any will do.

        Boil water, squeeze lemon, put honey in first, stir. Grate ginger, then put the ginger and lemon in after it’s not boiling any more. It’s like cough syrup but warm and hot.

        Like

        • lucysfootball

          I don’t have any of those things, but I should get them for the next time I’m sick. I could do that. That doesn’t sound completely disgusting to me.

          Like

          • elaine4queen

            It’s not, it’s lovely!

            And as an extra bonus, my neighbour tells me that you can keep ginger root in the freezer and grate it frozen, so you really can just keep it in for emergencies!

            Like

  • Heather

    Oh, man, I’m so sorry you’re sick. :(

    I don’t do sick well, either. I really hope you feel better soon.

    Like

  • Charleen

    I used to absolutely refuse that I was getting sick. Symptoms weren’t symptoms, they were just a series of coincidences that combined to make me feel sick, but it wasn’t real, so I’d be a sissy for wallowing around because of it. I’m just stuffy because of allergies… and I’m just achey because of the way I slept last night… and I’m just cold because my hoodie and these two blankets are broken…

    This happened enough times, where I was sick for a good three or four days before admitting, hey, I might be sick, that now any time I get the slightest symptom, I’m like, “OH GOD I’M GETTING SICK!” And then the next day (or even a couple hours later) I’ll feel fine.

    So, the secret to not getting sick is to always think you’re getting sick, apparently. Hypochondria ftw!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Hee! I will remember that! I usually am very much “I AM SICK!” all the time, but this time it took so long in coming I was sure it was just allergies! This is the weirdest sickness ever!

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    You don’t really want to know why plants are so oversexed in the spring, do you? Because you know I’ll tell you.

    Like

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