Random crap post? Well, sure, don’t mind if I do. It’s late and I’m a sleepy lady. But it was LAUNDRY DAY! Unfortunately, Dr. Horrible was not waiting for me in the laundry room to tell me he loved my hair. Or…the air. That he loved the…air. So now it’s late and I’m just about ready for bed. It’s been a long week, jellybeans. Lots going on. Also, kind of psychically exhausting. Ever have one of those just totally psychically exhausting weeks? Yep. This one.
ANYWAY, things to talk about things to TALK ABOUT!
An exciting thing I did this week that was actually kind of anticlimactic
So this week, I went to Rite Aid to get…drumroll please…MY PASSPORT PHOTO TAKEN. For Finland! And for ANOTHER trip I might or might not be taking before Finland that is one of those “don’t count chickens” things that I don’t want to jinx by mentioning just yet. ANYWAY. The lady at Rite Aid was all “Um. No. Our camera is broken.” Your CAMERA is broken? Well, that’s worrisome. GET IT FIXED. So I went to ANOTHER Rite Aid that is close to my office. I was on a MISSION, you see. And the mission was: GET MY PASSPORT PHOTO THIS WEEK. Because I am applying for my passport by the end of the month. I made a GOAL. I wrote it on the calendar and EVERYTHING.
So I went to this OTHER Rite Aid that is not MY Rite Aid and outside were the following things:
- a man who might or might not have been crazy eating Ranch Corn Nuts as if he’d never eaten food in his life and when one fell on the ground, he BENT DOWN, PICKED IT UP, AND ATE IT FROM THE FILTHY GROUND
- a wild turkey (the animal, not the liquor, but I wouldn’t rule out that Ranch Corn Nuts hadn’t been drinking some of the liquor) wandering around all aimlessly in the parking lot as if it wasn’t on one of the busiest streets in Albany
So I went in and thought getting a passport photo would be a bigger deal but apparently they take it a lot more seriously in other countries, because Elaine tells me that in England, they are not even allowed to SMILE in their photos, so I assume they’re all SUPER-SERIOUS about such things. This is how a passport photo is taken here in Merka.
- You ask the Rite Aid cashier, “How do I get a passport photo?”
- She laughs and says, “Let me get the other cashier, I don’t know, no one ever asks for those.”
- She then spends five minutes attempting to get the backdrop shade thingy down. It looked like one of those screens that they used to project filmstrips on in elementary school. She couldn’t get it to stay down. I really wanted to reach over her and give it that little snap at the end – you know the one, like when you’re attempting to get a windowshade to stay down? But I thought that might be rude.
- Finally, the other cashier came over and rolled her eyes and gave it that little snap. She knew what was up, yo.
- Other Cashier then picked up a camera that looked like a joke camera and made me stand in front of the obstreperous shade and took a number of photos. “NO! YOUR EYES ARE CLOSED!” “NO! YOUR HEAD IS UP TOO HIGH!” “NO! YOU ARE BLURRY!” This was not a good time. Finally, she came over and bopped me on the head (I told sj she bopped me on the head like Little Bunny Fufu, but sj was good enough to inform me that it was Little Bunny Fufu that did the bopping, and the field mice that got bopped, so she bopped me like a field mouse, yo) so that my head would be where she wanted it. A simple “lower your head” would have sufficed, I think.
- She took a photo and then was all “You are done” and two seconds later it was ready at the counter and it was like $8 and it’s most possibly the worst photo of me ever taken. I am smirking and attempting not to blink so my eyes are too wide and my head’s at a weird angle so I have about 15 chins. I don’t think anyone will mistake me for a terrorist, but they’re not going to mistake me for anyone with any sort of taste, vision, or fashion sense, either. (NO, I am not showing you. It’s really very terrible.)
- Also, was anyone aware passports are ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY DOLLARS? Good grief, for that kind of money I could buy like half the dollar store. That is a lot of simoleons. Hee, simoleons. That’s so an Amy’s Dad word.
It was all very anticlimactic and when I got out, the turkey and the King of Corn Nuts were both gone. Also, in order to fill out my passport application, I have to tell the passport people where my parents were born. Like, city and state. Guess which of my parents isn’t pleased about THE GOVERNMENT having this info? If you guessed Mom, you are incorrect. (It’s all a foolish thing for Dad to get a head of steam over. The man has a passport and a birth certificate. The government knows where he was born. He eventually told me, but he wasn’t pleased about it.)
ANYWAY, on FRIDAY, I will be going to the post office to do two things: A., mail a package to Andreas and his family in Finland, so we’ll see if the clerk recognizes that as a valid place or if we have an issue like we did the time I tried to mail something to the Isle of Man, and B., APPLY FOR MY PASSPORT! Toorah, tooray, oh frabjous day. I’m totally not even kidding about this Finland trip, you guys. It’ll be here before you even know it! Only 15 months from now!
A new venture!
Some of you know this, some of you don’t (and if you DON’T, it means you are not reading the lovely sj’s BLOG, and shame on you!) but starting soon, I will be writing ELSEWHERE! Well, also here. And also still at Insatiable Booksluts. And guest-posting if people ask me to do that and it’s something I think I’d have something to say something about, I suppose. I’m totally down with guest-posting. It makes me grin happy grins because it’s like being chosen not-last at kickball. ANYWAY!
The most amazing sj, who is one of my most favorite people in the whole land, and I were talking a while back. And one thing led to another thing which led to ANOTHER thing (as most of our emails do) and she extended the invitation for me to review books at her blog! And this was exciting, because I read a lot of books, and not all of them are Insatiable Booksluts-type books, and I wanted to start reviewing more (if not all) of the books I read, and listen, if one of your closest friends asks you if you want to work with her, you most definitely do.
SO, I will be starting to review at Snobbery soon, and have grand plans for fun and adventure there. I mean, would it really be an Amy post if there wasn’t fun and adventure? No. No, it would not. I don’t do much if there’s not fun and adventure involved. Or at least one or the other.
I hope you will come read me over there (and you should be reading there anyway, because it’s good stuff, you guys. And I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t mean it. I don’t deal well with lies.)
It is almost a time of much excitement!
Soon there will be MUCH EXCITEMENT and…dare I say it…MUCH ADVENTURE here in the Lucy’s Football household!
Here are some things coming up in the next two months which promise to be VERY EXCITING:
- road trip to Saratoga for play-reviewing!
- road trip for a VERY LITERARY EVENING where I will see Owen King read from his new book Double Feature and then GET TO HAVE HIM SIGN MY BOOK AAAHHH! I am very excited about this, as you can tell. There are many good things about this, not ONLY listening to and meeting Owen King. Friend C. is meeting me there! We are going together! Like fancy literary friends!
- Having a fancy sleepover at C. & C.’s new house! Where they have a guest room! Like a grownup lady! ALL THE FUN TIMES!
- THEN, the next DAY, C. and I go see In the Heights, which is a musical I have never seen, so THAT is exciting! Two whole DAYS with C.! (Plus I’m totally going to try to talk her into going to the Diner of Best Waffles with me for breakfast that morning. YUM WAFFLES!)
- Seeing and reviewing Les Miserables with friend N.! And possibly going to a fancy dinner beforehand!
- SIX DAYS OFF! One day just for me, and five days for BALTIMORE! To see R. and A. and BABY CEEVEE! And the ZOO! Expect epic blogs and photos from that trip, jellybeans. I’m so excited. It’s my first official grown-up paid-for-by-me more-than-one-day vacation in my whole life. I’m totally counting down the days. I just utterly cannot wait.
- Blah blah many many plays will be seen over the next couple of months. Some for reviewing, some for fun. I’m trying to see as much theater as possible right now. It makes my heart lighter in my chest and it makes it easier for me to breathe. Don’t ask.
- Seeing Stephen Sondheim talk as soon as I get back! SO EXCITED AAHHH! He is on my list of people to meet someday! I mean, not that I’m going to get to meet him, but I’ll be in the same ROOM as him, so it’s CLOSE.
- THEN, in JUNE, guess who I’m going to see? No, guess. NO, GUESS. NEIL EFFING GAIMAN. He’s coming nearby to read from his new book (The Ocean at the End of the Lane) and I HAVE A TICKET TO SEE HIM. I don’t know if he’s doing a signing afterward. I’m so hoping he is. It’s his last book tour and if I get to briefly thank Neil Gaiman for all he’s contributed to my life over the years, well, that’ll be one of the highlights of my life, you know? Yes. Yes, I’m a total book geek. What of it?
Isn’t that quite the list of exciting things? Whoa. I’m the most fancy.
Looking back, looking forward
So on Monday, I was lazing around when I got home with the news on and someone was all blah blah blah tax deadline day! and I realized, huh. It’s April 15. It’s April 15th and I’m home at 5pm and I didn’t have to do tax season this year, and I didn’t have to deal with that stress, that bathroom-weeping, that potential to have files thrown at my face, that last-minute screaming, that “you go home when I SAY you go home”-ing, any of it. It mattered so little this year that it didn’t even register. I filed my taxes in early February, got my refund, and that was that. Done.
It’s easy to say, when you’re upset, “WELL! Getting fired was THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ME!” But on some level, you don’t believe it. That’s just you being stompy. Because it’s scary. Your safety net is gone. But the person that told me, over and over, it was the best possible thing that could have happened, and not to be afraid – well, they were right. Because this new job is amazing. The most stressful thing that’s happened there in the last four months is that there was no parking in the front lot, so I had to park ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK and WALK UP THE STAIRS instead of TAKING THE ELEVATOR. Oh, and it was also stressful the time the elevator almost started going up and the doors were still open. That was a little frightening. Like the Tower of Terror at Disney.
I’m being facetious, a little. But seriously: April 15th came and went on Monday, and I was nowhere near the tax office. It didn’t even register as a day. No one yells at me at work; I laugh there. A lot. We have fun, we work hard, I’m proud of what I do, and I’m doing a good job.
Sometimes when you’re petrified because you’ve been kicked out of the nest and someone tells you it’s all going to be alright and it’s the best possible thing that could have happened to you and you’d like to believe them but it’s super-scary? Believe them. Because it is. It is the best thing that could have happened to you.
How did I write this much? It’s so time for bed, yo.
ALL THE THINGS!
Happy Thursday, people of the internets. May your day be the best of all days. Love your faces. MMM-WAH. (That’s a movie-star air-kiss. Nice, right? Totally nice.)