I think we need to have a chat about blogging etiquette, my most lovely readers.
What? Who does Amy think she is, Emily Effing Post? Nope. I never know which fork to use, and I don’t understand the white-after-Labor-Day rule, so I don’t wear white at all. (That’s actually not that hard, since I only own one white thing, and that’s a white teeshirt, and it has crazy pitstains, so I can only wear it under things now. TMI? Yep. So now you can see I am SO not Emily Post. I don’t even play her on teevee.)
Oh, screw this, I know nothing about this crap.
There are a lot of bloggers in the world. How many? Don’t know. This pretty infographic tells us about the state of blogging in Merka:
The most important thing you can learn from this? Other than I couldn’t find one for the world (sorry, world)?
There are a LOT OF BLOGGERS. You are one of MILLIONS.
Also, odds that you’re going to make your fortune as a blogger? Slim to none, sunshine. Sorry to burst your bubble. I have made $25 from blogging in the past year and a half. It’s not something you do because you want to make a lot of money. (Well, it might be, but you’re going to be disappointed pretty damn quickly. Or unable to pay your rent. Or eat. Or feed your cats. Dumbcat disapproves of this plan. He likes to eat quite a bit.)
So, because there are so many bloggers, I think it might be time that we mention some of the general rules of blogging.
I know! You’re all, “What? There are RULES?” and no. No, there aren’t, not really. But there is etiquette. And a lot of people aren’t being polite. And it’s bothersome. You want to be polite, don’t you? Sure you do.
Now, I’m not the queen of polite. I mean, I TRY to be, but I’m sure some people think I’m the rudest person to ever rude it up. I’m cool with that. I do my best. I can sleep at night. But some people…well, I think it’s one of two things. Either you’re new to the blogosphere, so you don’t know the ropes, or you just don’t care. Either way, let’s have a chat, ok? Cool.
Now, remember how up there I said there weren’t really rules to blogging? I lied. There’s one.
Here’s the one, which I will center and make all-caps and bold with stars because it’s just that important:
***HAVE FUN***
There. That’s it. That’s the number one rule. That is THE rule. Don’t do it to make money, or to become the most famous blogger EVAH, or for whatever other weird reasons might compel you to blog. Do it because you like writing, and because you have something to say, and it seems like it might be fun. And if it continues to be fun? And if you meet amazing people? Well, good. That means you’re doing it right. And if it stops being fun? Well, it’s something you should stop doing. I mean, listen. Work’s not fun, but if you quit doing it, you couldn’t pay your bills. Paying your bills isn’t fun, but if you quit doing it, you would have no power. Or water. Or home. But if you aren’t having fun blogging – well, why the hell are you still doing it? It’s an extracurricular. So quit it. It might not be your thing. That’s ok. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. I mean, soccer isn’t my thing, but that doesn’t mean I’m broken. Just uncoordinated. You’re still ok. You’ll find something. Promise.
ANYWAY. Let’s talk about etiquette, ok? Because it’s necessary.
Write good posts with actual information in them. So! You’ve started a blog. Great! Now, what to write about? That’s up to you. What do you like? What are you good at? Are you funny? Are you serious? Do you want to talk about your kids? Tell stories? There are a million things you can blog about. Only you can decide what you’d be best at. What not to do? Write one or two sentences (too often – once and a while, sure. Shake things up.) Reblog other people’s posts and do nothing but reblog other people’s posts – again, once and a while is ok, but if it’s all you do, how are you going to develop your own voice? I promise, people want to get to know you, not just see what other people are saying. If they wanted to see what other people were saying, they’d follow them. Just be YOU. Seriously. If you don’t know who you are? Figure it out. Sometimes it takes a little while to find your footing. That’s fine. You’ll find it.
Don’t steal. You saw what happened to Jean Valjean, right? Right. OK, so you’re new to blogging, you’re reading a lot of other blogs, they seem SO COOL…so, they wouldn’t mind if you took their post ideas, right? I mean, they have a lot of followers, and you WANT a lot of followers, so if they’re doing this neat thing like they’re recapping an episode of Game of Thrones using X-Files action figures or something, well, that’s a cool idea! Yank that right off of there! It’s not like stealing from a store, right? WRONG. It’s WORSE. It’s intellectual property. That person worked hard on that. They worked hard on the post; they worked hard on getting those followers. But AMY! What if I steal the idea but TWEAK it a little? NO. Us bloggers, we are a savvy bunch. We know when you’re yanking our ideas. We know when you’re stealing the way we talk, our blog designs, a cool idea we worked weeks on developing. And here’s the thing: a., can you really sleep, knowing your cool idea was just stolen from someone else? and b., any followers you get are eventually going to figure this shit out, you know. You’re not fooling anyone, not for long. (Also, this goes for the big blogs, too. I won’t name names, but there’s a big-name genre blog that steals from the smaller bloggers within that genre ALL. THE. TIME. It’s a shady-ass blog, and it’s getting tons of followers and hits on the hard work that the smaller bloggers are doing. I’ve got my eye on you, big blog. And someday, you’re going to get yours. Seriously. I believe very strongly in karma being a bitch.)
Do you really want to be the kind of jerk who swipes? Well? DO YOU? Dora would totally shout at you if you did.
Read and comment on other blogs. Now you have a blog, and you’re writing (hopefully non-stolen) posts that are awesome and full of kitten-rainbows. You want people to read your stuff! And your best bet? Other bloggers. Listen, I just counted, and I am subscribed to 191 blogs. And I add more every day. And I’m SELECTIVE about the ones I subscribe to, mostly because I don’t have time to read the ones I DO read, so I have to be careful about adding new ones. Now, not all of those update daily, but some update MULTIPLE times a day. I read them all. I comment when I am moved to do so and if it’s a WordPress blog, I hit the like button when I’m moved to do so. A lot of bloggers are very engaged with other bloggers, more so than most readers, I’d dare to say. Because we write, and we love to read what others are writing. You need to engage with other bloggers. Follow their blogs; learn from them (but do not, per the last paragraph, STEAL from them. There’s a fine line between inspiration and thievery.) Comment, and comment thoughtfully, if you are moved enough by their post to do so. If you like their blog, RSS it, or get the new posts emailed to you. This is your community now. Dive right into the pool.
Dive right in there. Wear floaties if you have to. No one will judge. Promise.
BUT, don’t comment with nonsense. NOW! You’ve read a post. This blog has a lot of followers! You know if you comment on it, your name and a link to your blog will be in the comments! THEN ALL THOSE PEOPLE WILL FOLLOW YOU AND YOU WILL BE FAY-MUSS! Well, you might get a click or two from those comments, sure. I’ve gotten some wonderful followers from comments I’ve made, both the bloggers and others who follow that blogger. HOWEVER! Here is a tip. Do not just comment with the following, or a combination of the following: “LOL good post”/”Ha ha this was funny”/”I read this, good”/”Good writing”/”Thank you”. Why would you even comment with such a thing? Please put content of some sort in your comment. I mean, yes, comments are awesome, and bloggers love them? But we don’t know much about what to do with that kind of comment. Do we respond to it? Ignore it? Also, we’re aware you’re here to draw attention to yourself and your blog. YOU ARE NOT FOOLING US, SLAPPY.
And, don’t link-spam. If you’ve commented correctly, your name and a link to your blog will neatly show up in to the left of your comment. You do not need to put a link to your blog IN the comment. That’s overkill. And it’s rude. It’s one of those unspoken rude things. Don’t do that. Also, and I don’t know when this became a thing, and I blame WordPress, but apparently there’s a setting now where you can blanket-spam a bunch of people with a link to your blog. I’ve gotten a ton of these in the past couple of weeks. “Check out my blog!” “Read my blog!” “I follow you, now you follow me back!” And – my personal favorite, and if you’re reading, whoever did this, yes, I’m totally talking about you – “Send this to 21 more people now.” And that was all. IT WAS A BOSSY BLOGSPAM CHAIN LETTER. Let me tell you something. I delete these when I get them. I don’t even click the link. If you’ve commented on my blog, I’ve checked out your blog. I promise. I’m diligent about such things. You don’t need to link-spam me. I might be reading; I might not. As I said, I can’t read every blog in the world. I have to be selective.
I can only assume you don’t want to be a processed meat-like product, so cut that out, you.
Don’t overpublicize. You don’t need to put up links to your most recent post a billion times. Once or twice on Twitter/Facebook/wherever else you publicize your stuff? Cool. Ten times? More? Tweeting it to a bunch of people asking them to read it? Spamming blog comments with it when the post has nothing to do with the post you’re publicizing? (I’m not saying NEVER put a link to your blog in someone’s comments. If you know the person, it’s ok. Or, I’ve put a link to someone ELSE’S blog in someone’s comments before. THAT’S ok. But don’t be a spammer, yo, see the paragraph above. It’s rude.) People are going to get sick of seeing all those links and they’re going to stop paying attention to you. Seriously. Trust me on this.
Be polite. Don’t be rude in people’s comments. That’s not your house. You want to be rude on your blog, cool. That’s your house! Someone else’s blog is not your house. So don’t walk all through there with muddy shoes. AGAIN, there’s an exception – if you know the blogger, and you have one of those jokey sarcastic relationships with them, go to it, jellybean. For example: I like to use SHOUTY ALL-CAPS and be very sarcastic. But I wouldn’t do that on someone’s blog I didn’t know well. I would do it on someone’s blog I’ve known a long time. If I didn’t, they might think I was sick. Otherwise, be polite. Your mom told you to be polite, and she wasn’t kidding about that.
I’m sorry, but this made me snort-laugh. I never said I had a high-brow sense of humor.
Reply to your comments as much as you can. You have readers now! And they are commenting! Now, once you become a big old huge blogger, you might not have time to respond to all your comments. But are you The Bloggess? Are you Wil Wheaton? No. No, you are not. You are cutting off a dialogue between you and your readers if you don’t talk to them, and where can you talk to them? In your comments. Reply to them. Joke with them. Ask them things. Respond to their questions. And guess what? You might even make FRIENDS with some of them. I know! Shocking! Seriously. Try it.
Use social media, but do not abuse social media. You are a blogger! With followers! And commenters! A good thing to do is make a presence on social media. Twitter and Facebook are good. Some people have luck with Google Plus, Tumblr, things along those lines. Do what you’re comfortable with. Or what you’re NOT comfortable with, maybe. Go outside your comfort zone. It won’t bite you. Probably. Don’t abuse your social media presence, however. Don’t annoy people; don’t harass people; don’t post like a zillion links to weird stuff that isn’t even FUN or GOOD, don’t just retweet things. Think before you post. PAY ATTENTION. I can’t emphasize this one enough. If someone’s not talking about something? Probably don’t needle them about it. If someone seems sad, maybe ask them what’s wrong. If someone’s celebrating, congratulate them. Paying attention shows you’re a good listener, and potentially, someone people want to get to know. Also, don’t beg people to follow you. Ask them, nicely, a few times, but don’t constantly harass them. It makes me crazy when someone’s constantly in my face about following them. If I wanted to be, I would. I’m pretty savvy about the interwebs, dudes and dudettes. (SIDE NOTE! This is a me-thing and not an anyone-else thing, but I don’t use my personal Facebook for blog stuff. So while I appreciate people who have found out my REAL IDENTITY ZOMG and want to be my Facebook friend, odds are very good I will not approve your friend request. I’ve mentioned this in my FAQ’s, I think, but that’s where I keep my family and friends. I don’t invite strangers in there. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, and please feel so, so free to follow my blog Facebook page, or friend me on Twitter, where someday I might actually post shit again. But odds are very good you’re not going to be accepted on Facebook, and I’m sure you’re lovely, and not at all a stabmurderer. But, sorry. I have to have a certain level of knowledge of you, and trust, to let you onto my Facebook page. Thanks ever so for understanding.)
Be patient. Nothing good happens overnight. I know, it’s easy to look at some bloggers who have like 2,000 followers in 6 months, and be all, WHY NOT ME! I AM THE WORST! and freak out. I know. But keep doing what you’re doing. Have fun. Write what you know how to write. Make friends online. And if you get your 2,000 followers? Cool. And if you don’t? You know what? Not at all the end of the world. Don’t compare yourself to others. You’ll never measure up. You know why? You’re not them. And, there’s someone out there attempting to measure up to YOU and failing miserably. Just don’t. Measure your success against how happy you are. Are you happy today? Then you’ve succeeded. Are you sad? Then what are you going to do tomorrow to make it a better day?
OK, this is insanely long, and you know what? It stops being fun for me if I can’t get any sleep. So to bed I go. Have fun is the number one rule. And the number one etiquette rule? Well, it’s simple. Follow the golden rule. Treat others like you want to be treated.
Then take that, and your happiness, and go out into the world and CONQUER it. You’re invincible now. And who doesn’t want to be invincible?
April 11th, 2013 at 11:57 am
Spam is beloved in Hawaii, so why wouldn’t I want to be that kind of spam? ;-)
Great post, as usual. Interesting stats on the dormant blogs for businesses. They need to get with the program!
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Hee! My dad LOVES Spam. And potted meat. And Vienna Sausages. *shudder*
Seriously, more businesses should blog. And blog well. I notice etailers are good at it, but brick and mortar stores, not as much.
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April 11th, 2013 at 12:00 pm
I’m sorry to say the most pertinent thing I took away from that otherwise awesome infographic was that there is such a thing as “bloggging.”
Does this make me a pedantic trolly commenter? Shoot. I was afraid of that.
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:55 pm
I didn’t even notice that. It was very late when I was writing this and sleep hasn’t been happening for me lately.
It’s probably super-charged blogging, is this new bloggging thing.
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April 11th, 2013 at 12:16 pm
I wrote a whole comment about how much I admire your DEATH MATCHES on IB, but it came out sounding like a self righteous humble brag. I shall forgo that route in favor of telling you that I enjoy your rules of Blogiquette. Lovely, smart, amusing. Just. Like. You.
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:54 pm
Thank you!
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April 11th, 2013 at 12:34 pm
They needed to add a please on the end of that spray painted sentence!! Then it would have been polite(:
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:54 pm
Hee! Probably they would have if this was in Canada. They are VERY polite in Canada.
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April 12th, 2013 at 12:32 am
This is reminding me of that hysterical movie, Canadian Bacon.
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April 17th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
Speaking for Canadians, I’d like to apologize for that.
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April 11th, 2013 at 12:56 pm
LOL Good post, thank you.
I’m kidding. This really put it in to perspective for me. I often get a little dismayed (read: Pouty) when I realize that my view count hasn’t skyrocketed… that my follows remain in two digits. But the reality of the statistics, being one in millions and millions (and that’s just America, So for me I’d have to add the same thought for Canada) points out that my lack of patience is unwarranted. (oh look, you mentioned be patient as well.) My wife is very fortunate that I have not hung up my suit to turn my blogging in to a source of income.
There is also the thought that maybe my writing just isn’t as good as the Dickensesque prose that I believe it to be… but I reject that notion out of obstinate vanity. Now if I can only get a handle on the polite stuff.
I Read this, good…
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:47 pm
Yeah, it’s tough. I know. You write something you think is AMAZING…and then about 100 people read it. And you think, why do I bother? I totally get that.
I just keep pumping out the posts. At least 100 people read it. 100 people that wouldn’t have read it if I HADN’T published it. I try to see the positive. Also I eat chocolate, which fixes a lot of things. Do you have chocolate? You should get some. It’s kind of the best.
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April 11th, 2013 at 11:01 pm
100? I should be so lucky! I’m new to this, so I need that patience. I love chocolate. It’s good for what ails ya.
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:42 am
Chocolate is good for ALL the things. Happiness, sadness, malaise. It’s a wonder food.
People will come. It’s like in Field of Dreams. People will come, Ray.
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April 11th, 2013 at 1:34 pm
Now I totally want to know the name of the big name blogger who steals from us unwashed masses. Damn you, curiosity!
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:45 pm
Nah, I don’t want to be a victim of karma. Plus, they’re totally dicky and seem like the kind of people who would try to sue me for libel. And I don’t have enough money for a lawyer.
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April 17th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
I, like many other wise people, prefer to get your awesome posts straight from the source.
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April 11th, 2013 at 1:58 pm
Yes, yes. I was hanging my head yesterday looking at my puny numbers compared to a local blogger who seems to be followed by everyone in the western world and then I went back to – hey, the point of the blog is to write and try to do it well. Who really cares about the count? Well, I do but I do try to be a bigger person about it every now and then. Thanks for the ideas. Really helpful.
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:44 pm
It’s tough. I totally get that. Especially when you can look at it objectively and think, “I’m preeeetty sure I’m doing better work than they are…so what’s wrong with me, do I have leprosy or something?” But I just have to tell myself that I’m me, no one else is, and that there are, I’m sure, people looking at me and my numbers/followers and thinking they wish they were me. And I’m sure there are people thinking the same thing about you. And I wouldn’t be good at being anyone but me, anyway – I’ve had so many years of practice, you know?
Thank you for reading!
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:55 pm
Good way to put it,.lucysfootball. I need to find out the origin of your blog’s name.
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:57 pm
It’s in my FAQ! :)
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April 11th, 2013 at 3:39 pm
A) I am TOTALLY judging you for wearing water floaties. Just a warning.
B) Good post. I met my current best friend in all the world on the now might-as-well-be-defunct LiveJournal. I don’t foresee duplicating that kind of luck on WordPress, but WP has decidedly a higher quality of blogger.
C) I disagree about responding to someone who just writes “sad”: That annoys the hell out of me. It’s a cry for attention and I’m not your wet nurse. You want me to know what’s wrong, it’s on you to provide the information, not fish for someone to ask. In my experience, this is a uniquely Facebook tactic, fortunately.
Follow me!! (J/K)
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:42 pm
But I can’t swim! Without floaties I would be a dead person! (No, seriously, I totally can’t swim. I sink like a lead balloon. ALLLL the way to the bottom. I’m petrified of water.)
Oh, I wouldn’t count WordPress out. I’ve met some of my very closest friends through blogging. It’s a wonder what it’s brought into my life, sincerely. I can’t believe that a little over two years ago, I wasn’t doing it.
I don’t know that I’d respond to a person who just writes “sad.” I might. I might mock them for it. It depends on my mood that day. That’s in blog comments, anyway. On Facebook or Twitter, though – nope. I steer clear of that. That’s an attention-seeker and I want no part of getting sucked into that vortex of crazy. I have enough problems in my own life.
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April 11th, 2013 at 4:12 pm
I love that your number one rule is to HAVE FUN. I am a newbie blogger and still trying to find my footing, but I have definitely been having fun finding other blogs I like (in addition to ones I was already lurking on) and “trying” to write about things people (I) would want to read. Thanks for the tips!
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:38 pm
Fun is the most important thing. (It’s pretty important in day-to-day life, too. I try to have as much fun as I can ALL the time, not just while blogging. It keeps me young, I think.) Thank you for reading!
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April 11th, 2013 at 4:54 pm
It made me a little sad to see that over 100K blog posts a day go without comment. Where are those blogs? I want to give them some comment love! I hated not having any comments in my early days. In fact, one of my most popular posts was from my first couple of months. It got resurrected recently and has been quite the hit, except only two people ever “liked” it, and no one commented. Oh, well!
You made such a great point about it being fun. When it isn’t fun, it’s time for a break!
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:37 pm
I didn’t get many at first, either – just people who knew me, mostly, and not many of them. And since I used to use Blogger and imported three months of posts, the first few months of my posting looks like NO ONE EVER COMMENTED OR LIKED ME EVER. Hee!
I know there are certain days it doesn’t seem like a lot of fun…but overall, it’s still a joy for me. But I certainly hope, if it ever comes to the point where it’s like work, and I have to force myself to do it, I’ll have enough self-awareness to say, “Nope. Time for a break, Amy. Stop it right now.”
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April 11th, 2013 at 8:22 pm
I’m glad it brings you joy because your posts bring me joy.
I passed up a trip to Finland because the timing was wrong. Please yell at me.
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April 11th, 2013 at 8:25 pm
FINLAND!!! Well, that’s a long trip. If the timing isn’t right, it wouldn’t be awesome. I forgive you. Someday the timing will be right. And you get to come vicariously with me next July! I will take SO MANY PHOTOS!!!
So much joy. And having you here? EXTRA joy.
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April 11th, 2013 at 8:35 pm
<3
Tomorrow's post is all for you. ALL. FOR. YOU!
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April 11th, 2013 at 8:40 pm
ALL FOR ME! I am getting a feeling there will be ANIMALS! *happy dance*
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April 11th, 2013 at 9:24 pm
I figured out the gallery option. Tons of photos, all uploaded and ready to go, which is good because it’s storming and I may not have power in the am.
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April 11th, 2013 at 9:32 pm
I am being lazy tonight. TV and reading til I fall asleep. No blog tomorrow for me. I’ll write an epic one for Saturday, though.
I hope your power stays on!
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April 11th, 2013 at 5:51 pm
“Reply to your comments as much as you can.”
Yes, this! It drives me crazy when bloggers don’t respond to their comments. You respond to every comment — you are amazing! (I respond to every comment, which is… less amazing… just based on the numbers.) I think I take it more personally than I should, just because for so long in the blogosphere I ALWAYS lurked and NEVER commented, and now I’m putting myself out there, and it makes me sad when I don’t get anything back.
But hey, I’m not saying that MY comments are always going to be worthy of a response, but when I see a blog that gets very few comments and there’s NEVER a response to ANY of them? I tend to not hang around those blogs very long.
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April 11th, 2013 at 5:53 pm
Side note: I think I use caps in comments to your blog more than anywhere else on the internet. I think it’s contagious.
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:32 pm
It totally is! I encourage the spread of all-caps here! They are so much fun and I never feel like anyone’s shouting at me! :)
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April 11th, 2013 at 6:35 pm
I feel like, if someone took the time to make a thoughtful comment, they should get a response. I think a lot of people are so used to not getting replied to that they never come back to check again. I’ve had a lot of people express such surprise that I responded, and that makes me so sad. It shouldn’t be EXPECTED that bloggers respond, but it also shouldn’t happen so seldom that it’s shocking, you know?
I forgive bloggers who have eleventy-billion comments, because even responding to mine takes up a chunk of time. I totally get that. But if you only have a few comments (or even, say, 50 or so? I don’t know) I think it’s just nice to respond. It makes people’s day when they know you responded! And who doesn’t like to make someone’s day?
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April 11th, 2013 at 8:05 pm
I don’t really expect my comments to get a reply (just like I don’t expect all my posts to get comments), but I think I do expect SOME comments to get a reply. Because if none do, I feel like you’re not even acknowledging that you HAVE readers. At the same time, though, I totally get the “I’m doing this for me and if other people like it then that’s just a cool perk” mentality too. And I try really hard not to read it as arrogance or anything like that, because I know chances are, it’s not at all. But I also can’t feel bad if I’d rather spend my time reading bloggers who interact with their readers.
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April 11th, 2013 at 8:22 pm
I actually have gotten to the point where I very seldom expect a response, except for on my friends’ blogs. That’s kind of sad, isn’t it? However, I would be HEARTBROKEN if I got no comments on one of my posts. SO SAD!
I think bloggers don’t realize that half the fun of blogging is the fun had in the comments. I laugh so hard at the comments, and the responses and such. I have so much fun with my readers.
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April 11th, 2013 at 8:13 pm
Several things.
1. Yes to all of it! Yes yes yes!
2. That is one sexy chart.
3. Would you say it’s worth it to run ads on your blog? I am looking into it for myself (and yes you can read that in a Kip from Napoleon Dynamite voice.)
4. I HATE it when people try to pick fights in the comments. It isn’t bad at all on WordPress, but on other forums? Sheesh.
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April 11th, 2013 at 8:19 pm
Nope, not at all worth it to run ads. Well, not the WordPress ads, anyway. (Sorry, WordPress, for most things you’re wonderful, but these ads are the suck.) I have decent readership (she says humbly) and have been running them for over a year. You have to make $100 in clicks before they’ll pay you. I’ve made $60. In over a YEAR. I’m taking them down the minute I make $100. They’re a waste of time and space. You (I think?) have more readers than I do, so might get more clicks than I do…but still, it takes FOREVER. It might work better if you get actual advertisers, but I don’t think you can do that on WordPress, so you’d have to move to a self-hosted WordPress blog. That was a very long response. Sorry about that.
I haven’t had too many issues with people being trolly. Here and there – a couple people attacking me, one attacking another commenter, and two trolls on the FP post (and I just deleted them, no need for that.) But yeah, other forums – I totally take off when things get like that. I hate that. I’m terrible at confrontation, and that kind of hatred/anger just make me nervous.
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April 11th, 2013 at 10:33 pm
A good summary of rules. I especially liked the paraphrase of the Golden Rule. Nice! Of course, it could also all be summed up with Wil Wheaton’s rule: Don’t be a dick. ;-)
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:43 am
I just used Wil, so I didn’t want to abuse him. Heh.
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April 11th, 2013 at 10:35 pm
Well. I read the entire blog and all the comments and I think I learned a few things about blogging!
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:43 am
I’m glad! Thank you for reading!
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April 11th, 2013 at 11:07 pm
I was reading this post and my natural anxiety took off and I was like ZOMG what if I am guilty of all of these oh CRAP? But now I’m at the end of the post and I’ve already forgotten what most of the “do not dos” were and only remember the “have fun”. I guess that’s good, right?
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:41 am
I read your blog. You’re not guilty. Or I wouldn’t read it. I run away from people who do these things. Promise!
It is good. I hope you are having fun. It’s the main reason I keep doing it, and I really hope it’s the main reason MOST people keep doing it. I like to imagine us all having a good time with this.
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April 12th, 2013 at 9:29 am
Oh, good to know. The one that gets me most is not replying to comments, even if you are a big blogger. The OCD in me won’t let me not reply, even if I didn’t like engaging with readers. :D
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:04 pm
I see how someone like The Bloggess gets like 1,000 comments on a post, and I get it – she can’t respond to them all. She wouldn’t be able to do anything BUT respond to comments, probably. That’d be tough. (Plus, as Andreas mentioned to me the other day – a lot of her comments are of the “OMG I LOVE YOU YOU ARE SO FUNNY LOL” variety, and I don’t know what the proper response to that would be, honestly.) So if I ever made it that big (not going to happen) I guess comment-replying would have to fall by the wayside in order to live my life. I’d be sad to see it go, though. I love replying to comments.
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April 11th, 2013 at 11:57 pm
I must admit I’ve been known to link spam. *hangs head in shame* But I’m better now, promise. It’s been days since my last link spam. Weeks even.
And re stats: lately my stats have just fallen through the floor, and I get perhaps 1/5 of my previous traffic. I could get all upset and hurt, but I’ve decided it’s just the way things are, and that they might change again in the future. Or they might not. Either way, that’s – as you so aptly put it in this post – not the point. I don’t write for the stats. Or money. I write because I have to write. And I still get really good comments from my small but faithful audience, providing intelligent and funny feedback. Who could really wish for more?
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:40 am
See, I KNEW you’d worry you’d been link-spamming, which is why I told you that was not for you. You don’t link-spam! The only time I’ve seen you put links in comments is when you have something valid to say, and you’ve already blogged about it, so you say something like, “I went into this in more detail in this post…” and I think that’s a valid use of it. You aren’t spamming to get more readers or to draw attention to yourself; you’re putting in a link because you know someone has an interest and might want to read more. That’s allowable. (Also, anything you do here is allowable. You know that, right? OK. Cool. Good.)
My stats aren’t great, either. I’ve been doing a couple things to try to fix it. Linking in a few (non-spammy) places. I’m curious if it’ll help. But I’m with you – I write because I have a need to do so, and that’s it. I like for people to read it, but I need to back off myself if it’s not that MANY people.
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April 17th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
That’s funny, I noticed a huge crash in my traffic recently, too. I though maybe the entire Internet had gotten bored with my rantings on werewolves, hair metal and Beowulf. (And maybe it has.) But it also showed me I was obsessing over my web stats.
I wonder, too, just how much of it was dumb luck. I seemed to get boatloads of hits from people looking for a music review Lord of the Rings music, right around the time before The Hobbit movie came out. It’s not exactly what I thought my blog would be known for.
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April 12th, 2013 at 12:16 am
I know your comments aren’t really the place for my diatribe, but…
This really hit me hard. I have been seeing this more and more lately, and so far there hasn’t been any sort of comeuppance, only reward for the assholes I’m thinking of.
It’s disheartening to see people whose voice is “borrowed” receive all the followers, actual awards and recognition, etc.
Blergh.
I need to go read my letter to myself again.
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:36 am
My comments are TOTALLY the place for this, especially on this post. (And whenever you want. Free rein for you, jellybean.)
I’m link-spamming my own comments. I think I’m allowed, right? This is my house. Here’s sj’s letter to herself, which, if any of you are bloggers (and I think a lot of you are) you should read – it’s got amazing advice for bloggers, and I think any blogger would benefit from reading it.
And yes, I agree. It’s totally disheartening, and it’s hard to ignore. And it’s hard not to call them out on it. But if you do, YOU look like the asshole. It’s a fine line.
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April 12th, 2013 at 1:01 am
I love when people answer comments and I actually love answering comments. It’s that ability to have a conversation with someone and that’s pretty cool. (Now, I will admit that when life got crazy, answering comments got challenging.)
Be Polite made me laugh out loud. The best sign.
RE: followers: I keep changing my blog address and starting over. I’m hoping this is my last blog move. So I’m pretty content at double digit followers! I figure very few people will read my blog unless I do something extraordinary outside of the blogosphere. But I really like the people I have who read. So it works.
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:32 am
The conversation is the best. I love it. I always am so happy when I have comments. My phone lets me know and I just grin.
I love my readers, too. I think we’re both lucky in that we have some amazing readers. The ones who find us and stick around are really the most quality, you know?
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:46 am
LOL good post
Ha ha this was funny
I read this, good
Good writing
Thank you
Hahaaaa! Just kidding! Seriously, though, great post. I do get annoyed with certain blogs that always regurgitate other people’s ideas and such. That is le suck.
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:05 pm
There are SO MANY of them, right? Especially in the book-blogger world. It makes me stabby. I mean, sure, there are only so many things to go around – but be ORIGINAL! Everyone has their own voice, USE IT! Don’t use OTHER people’s voice, why would you want to do that? Urgh.
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April 12th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
You’ve made $25 dollars? I think I’ve made about $3. So compared to me you’re totally rich, congrats!
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:01 pm
I used it to help pay my cellphone bill. I know. I like to live on the edge. I’m very glamourous.
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April 12th, 2013 at 1:00 pm
Good rules! I’m pretty good at most of them. Except I “follow” way too many blogs. I never get to all of them in a single day. I have emails in my inbox from March, still. I press “like” a lot (but only if I really like it), and comment some. I always respond to comments on my blog. Always. Except for the spam ones. Not all of my content is original, but when I use other sources, I quote and give credit to where it came from.
Now, to figure out how to get into that 2% category . . .
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:01 pm
Yeah, I don’t know that anyone I know will ever make it into that 2% category, but I’d cheer my head off for anyone that did. How exciting would exotic locales be? Whoo!
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April 12th, 2013 at 2:23 pm
As a newbie to blogging I find this very valuable information. I would hate to be labeled any of these things. I already have been suspended by Twitter and Blocked by Facebook for being to aggressive. I prefer to call it over zealous. So after being slapped on the wrist and made to agree to be good I now read the rules. I do want to be a good neighbor. Thanks for the info.
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April 12th, 2013 at 6:57 pm
You’re welcome. Reading the rules is always a good idea – also, when I was just starting out, I checked out what other bloggers were doing, publicity-wise, that I read and admired. I noticed they weren’t overly aggressive about posting links to their posts, so I emulated them and attempted to be more laid-back about it. It was actually 5 months before I told my real-life friends I was even blogging. I wanted to make sure it stuck. People will follow – just keep putting out good content and you’ll get more and more followers.
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April 12th, 2013 at 6:30 pm
I love this. I do, I was feeling down in the dumps because I don’t have a lot of followers. But I just started the newly named blog. So I know it is a process. I also have people who I know in the real world who tell me they love my blog, but they don’t comment. Sigh I live with it.
As to your other rules I always worry that some of my posts are treading close to the style of others like you or even The Bloggess…so I have my hubbins read them and then read yours and hers. He thinks I over think and that we all have similar warped senses of humor. I hope so because believe you me I would never intentionally steal from another blogger. You gals are the ones I look up to!
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April 12th, 2013 at 6:52 pm
It’s tough, I know, especially at first (or when you change the name of your blog.) And I have the same thing – I have a lot of readers who tell me they read, but don’t comment (or comment on Twitter, or Facebook, or in real life, etc.)
You’re fine. I’ve never read any of your posts and thought, “THAT IS STEALY!” Not even a little. Your tone is very much your own. You have your own voice. I’m with Hubbins – don’t overthink. You’re very much you, and you’re not stepping on anyone. I promise. (And wouldn’t say it unless I meant it. Truly.)
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April 12th, 2013 at 7:32 pm
Yay, you are the BEST! And yes I worry too much, but I’m working on not doing that. It’s a process. We should totally do a Football/GreyHat meet-up one of these days. That would be a hoot.
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April 12th, 2013 at 8:09 pm
I worry too much, too. About everything. It’s a curse. I’m attempting to get better, but it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.
Yes, we should do that someday! Think of the blogging opportunities! :)
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April 12th, 2013 at 8:13 pm
I’m cursed too. I think it might be left over Irish Catholic guilt. Awesome times with that let me tell you. But yes to hanging out. I imagine hilarity will follow. I’m game to try out most anything/place in the area that has food involved with it of course.
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April 12th, 2013 at 8:15 pm
Probably mine too. That and a dad that brought me up to worry about everything. Let’s wait til the weather’s a little more stable and plan something? This sleet today is annoying me. Grumble.
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April 12th, 2013 at 8:17 pm
Ah parents…
I agree with the weather…today just made me feel like I wanted to stab someone.
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April 21st, 2013 at 11:22 am
You know what jumped out at me on that infographic? It was that THEY say that men outblog women by some margin. I find this incredibly difficult to believe. I mean, it MAY be true, but if you were asked what the stats there were what would you say? I’d reckon on 2/3 being women.
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April 21st, 2013 at 4:31 pm
You know, I think I read that wrong the first time around and thought it was women more than men. I find that suspect, as well. I think I have about 50/50 blogging friends that are male/female, but that’s because I seek out male bloggers (that sounded all kinds of wrong) because I have this weird better-in-male-friendships thing. Which I’m trying to fix. ANYWAY.
I wonder if it’s just how many blogs are registered? And more men register them and then just don’t use them or something? It is strange.
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April 22nd, 2013 at 3:13 am
I have a lot of male friends, too. And I see my male friends more often than my female friends usually. And I certainly read male bloggers. Looking at livejournal even if the split is even, women certainly blog more often, and about their lives more often, so maybe I feel I know them better. Maybe I am just surprised at the statistics? I certainly have followed subject based blogs and not really thought about them being written by men, and maybe not really thought of them as bloggers because I am far less likely to comment on that kind of blog so less likely to get to know them.
Interesting!
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