Those were the reasons and that was New York: a day with Andreas (part two)

DAY TWO!

So yesterday, we recapped the following:

  • excitement!
  • FEAR!
  • train!
  • skanky train bathrooms!
  • I have no sense of direction!
  • HOTEL WHERE ANDREAS WAS STAYING!
  • FINALLY MEETING ANDREAS and GIVING HIM A HUGE HUG!
  • telling the stupid scared voice in my head to shut up and let me have a good TIME, already!

So, now in this point in our tale, I have met Andreas. Andreas looked JUST like he did on Skype. Well, of course he did. I did not doubt that he would. However, Dad was sure Andreas would be – and I am not kidding about this – “a female truck driver.” Actual Dad conversation:

Well, she looks friendly! Why is this a problem?

Well, she looks friendly! Why is this a problem?

Dad: I’m pretty sure when you show up there, that guy’s not going to be who he says he is.
Me: What? Who do you think he’s going to be?
Dad: A female truck driver.
Me: I don’t…what does that mean. A female truck driver?
Dad: Yes. That’s who those internet people turn out to be, most of the time: female truck drivers.
Me: That is very specific. Where did you get this statistic?
Dad: The television. I saw a show where a female truck driver pretended to be people on the internet. As a trick.
Me: Oh. Huh. Well, that’s – huh. No, I’m pretty sure he’s just going to be Andreas, Dad. I’ve known him for over a year, and also we Skyped, remember? So it would have been pretty tough for him to set up like, a whole household, and rent a baby to pretend to be his child. Especially if he was a female truck driver, driving that truck with those boobs and all.
Dad: Oh, see, no, the female truck driver would have HIRED that guy. To be like the face of her lie.
Me: Um. OK. Well, now I am confused. I thought Andreas WAS the female truck driver?
Dad: That’s what he wants you to think. Or she does, I guess. Oh, also, the female truck driver might be a serial killer, so watch out for that.
Me: WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!?!

Andreas and I said hi and hi and hi and I hugged him because I was SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM. Then I said, “Andreas! We have to go put this gigantic bag of things in your room so I don’t have to cart it all around the city because it is heavy? Or are you NOT OK WITH THAT. Is it NOT OK to have me up in your room?” and he laughed and said it was just fine and that was when I officially knew Andreas and I were going to get along perfectly well because he didn’t think I was crazy even though pretty much the very first thing I said to him in really real life was a crazy-person thing.

So we went to his room and then I gave him ALL THE PRESENTS. Some were for his daughter and some were for his son and some were for his fiancée. I don’t want to say what those are yet because they are wrapped and he didn’t open them yet and maybe he wants to talk about those once they are opened? I don’t want to be a spoiler asshole about presents. I mean, I TOLD him what they were, but he didn’t SEE them yet. BUT! SOME WERE FOR HIM. Now, I had this whole plan of an awesome thing for him, but did not plan it accurately, and it did not get here in time, so I will have to have it shipped to him at home, because I am poor at planning things. And I can’t tell you what it is because that would ruin the surprise for him when he opens it, so shhh. But I brought him LITTLE presents that I knew would make him laugh and let him open them right then and there like:

  • the biggest bag of Twizzlers ever! TWO WHOLE POUNDS! I sent Andreas Twizzlers once and he liked them and I thought they would be a good snack for all the traveling he had coming up soon.
  • a box of chewable Airborne because he gets sick a lot because when you have kiddos you get sick a lot! They are good and taste like Sweetarts and he totally ate one right there and that made me smile. He and I both agree that the recommended daily allowance on the bottle of 12 tablets a day was a bit of overkill and possibly a way to sell more bottles of Airborne.
  • A box of knockoff Thin Mints, because he mentioned he wanted to try Thin Mints but it’s not Thin Mint delivery time yet, and my grocery store has year-round knockoff Thin Mints that taste almost exactly the same. And I wanted him to get to try Thin Mints. Shouldn’t everyone have a chance to try Thin Mints, even if they are knockoffs?
  • A huge bag of like 20 packs of gum! That sounds weird, but a long time ago before I existed here on the interwebs I used to be one of those extreme couponer people except not hoardy-extreme, really, and I always had coupons for free gum but can’t chew gum because I have TMJ but I can’t turn down a free thing? So I just put it all in a Ziploc. And Andreas mentioned he liked gum and what the hell was I going to do with all that gum? I warned him it was old so if it was gross to please throw it out, though. I mean, I’m not EVIL. (It’s wrapped. Wrapped and unopened gum, I would assume, lasts a very long time?)

So apparently I brought him all foodstuffs. ALL FOODSTUFFS! I promise I am not trying to fatten Andreas up. The other present I’m waiting on is not even foodstuffs.

Then Andreas gave ME presents and I was totally not even EXPECTING presents!

First: FINNISH CHOCOLATE! I asked him if it was poisoned like that chocolate my boss ate that time and he said it was not, so that was nice. I’m very trusting so I believed him.

Almonds and pears! I've never had pears in my chocolate. I am intrigued.

Almonds and pears! I’ve never had pears in my chocolate. I am intrigued.

Dark chocolate! Yum, my favorite!

Dark chocolate! Yum, my favorite! Hee, “tumma suklaa.” That might be a euphemism.

Mint KRISPIES! Oh, this is exciting. I love mint in my chocolate so much.

Mint CRISPS! Oh, this is exciting. I love mint in my chocolate so much. Finland is serious about its chocolate, yo.

THEN, oh, you GUYS, there were two of the nicest presents I think I have ever received from people in my whole LIFE. Wait til you see. You just wait.

First I opened this one, which was from Andreas himself (he totally bought this one HIMSELF, you guys, isn’t that the nicest?)

You GUYS! A necklace with little Day of the Dead skulls and one is a RABBIT and one has a PARTY HAT and one has a CROWN! Is this not the best thing you have ever SEEN? It’s so an Amy-necklace, right? It’s morbid with a side of whimsy! JUST LIKE ME! And Andreas didn’t even KNOW I am totally obsessed with Day of the Dead skulls!

I told Mom about this and she said, “That is terrible. Why are people obsessed with skulls. I SAW SOMEONE WITH A SKULL TATTOO THE OTHER DAY” and I assured her I did not get a tattoo in the city. THIS TIME. Mwa-ha-ha.

Then there was ANOTHER present!

This is a pendant from Andreas AND his fiancée, and do you know why? BECAUSE SHE MADE THIS!

I KNOW! She totally made this HERSELF! Isn’t it GORGEOUS? She makes jewelry, but look, not even like “I strung some beads on some string” jewelry. You GUYS! This is real silver and has a stone in it and it’s one of a kind and it is kind of one of the most beautiful and most personal things I own. I am blown away with this kind of talent and I told Andreas that and told him that he had to tell her thank you a million billion times. I will totally admit I had tears when I opened these two things. I feel like my gifts were the most inadequate when faced with these gifts. My goodness. These are WONDERFUL.

Here is another photo of this one just because I took two and it’s my blog and I love it the most:

OK, so that was gift-time. Then I marveled over Andreas’ room, which was FANCY. Like, super-fancy, you guys. Also, there was water for sale in the room and the water had a name and the name of the water was FRED and that made us laugh and laugh. And the price of FRED was like $7 a bottle. Or you could just drink the tap water, I suppose. Which is what people like me do.

Fred, the WATER! There were like three sizes of Fred. And since the hotel was fancy, three sizes of glasses: one for each bottle-size. Naming your water is a funny thing. I’m easily amused.

So then we decided it was time for breakfast, because Andreas waited until I got there for breakfast because he is a gentleman. He said I’m not allowed to say he’s a GENTLEMAN or he’s FANCY but he’s totally both.

I should probably tell you some things about Andreas, right? He is very tall; he has a very nice movie-star voice that is rumbly with an accent that is kind of British but also kind of what I assume is Swedish because he lived there for most of his obtaining-an-accent years. Whatever it is, it’s a very nice combination, and I could listen to him talk all day. He dresses very well. When you talk, he listens with his whole self, which in our very fast-paced and easily-distracted world is such a nice thing. He laughs easily and genuinely; he has a quick and dry and intelligent sense of humor that is utterly delightful; he holds doors for people; he’s totally sciency in real life; he seems to know the answers to every question you could ever think of to ask; he is kind to servers and smiles at strangers.

Boil that paragraph down to one thing, and he will be embarrassed that I told you this, but I’m going to tell you anyway: Andreas is, without even a question, truly an amazing person.

So I think this has to end this chapter of Amy and Andreas take New York by storm. Tomorrow, we will start with breakfast, and then move to the majorly photo-heavy part of our trip: THE MOST EXCITING PLACE WE WENT. I’d apologize for dragging this out, but I’m not even dragging it out. This many things happened, and they were just this exciting.

Stay tuned, oh readers of the Football! Tomorrow we hit the mean streets of New York. Which are not that mean. Not that mean at all. So I guess just the streets, then. Just the plain old ordinary non-mean streets of New York.

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

36 responses to “Those were the reasons and that was New York: a day with Andreas (part two)

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    Aw Amy. You’re making me blush. And a little teary.

    I was also nervous meeting you, but it turned out just fine in the end. Better than fine. You’re very easy to talk to and have the same great sense of humour as in your blog. You’re as cool and fun to be around in real life as you are online, only it’s much better in real life because we can talk face-to-face, using facial expressions and everything. I feel privileged having had the opportunity to meet you for real, and miss it already.

    Like

  • jbrown3079

    Knockoff Thin Mints rule! They are way cheaper than the cookies those kids try to guilt you into buying.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Do you have those, too? I was so surprised when I found them in the store one day! We also have Thin Mint or Samoa ice cream, but it’s not very good.

      Like

    • Andreas Heinakroon

      The Thin Mints were a total success! We’ve now eaten them all, and they were delicious.

      Also, I brought some of the Twizzlers to work, to show what American sweets taste like. The reception was mixed. People who had lived in the States really enjoyed them and got all nostalgic. But other people (especially a colleague from Wales) thought they were the most horrid thing ever! Not even me explaining that they didn’t contain any natural ingredients at all to get in the way of their rich synthetic taste helped me convince them.

      Like

      • lucysfootball

        Oh, yay, I’m glad you liked the Thin Mints! The real ones are only a LITTLE better. Only barely. You can hardly tell the difference!

        Hee, I can imagine people hating Twizzlers! They really are the most fakey-fake. I can’t really eat them anymore, but I love them. They’re so fruity and sweet and gummy. They were my favorite road-trip food back in the day – they didn’t get a mess all over and they got you all hopped-up on sugar to give you that extra boost you needed to stay awake. I’m so glad I got you the HUGE bag of Twizzlers, so they will last a long time!

        Like

  • sj

    I am all teary again!

    Like

  • lynnettedobberpuhl

    I am very unhappy to hear that thin mint knockoffs are available all year. Up to now the only thing that has kept the Girl Scout version from being a major problem for me was their time-limited nature. *not looking for them, not looking for them*. Enough about that. I am very pleased you guys met up and had adventures to share with the rest of us, and that neither of you turned out to be lying female truck drivers, although that would have been quite a twist. Amy, your new necklaces ARE the most amazing. Looking forward to hearing what’s next!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Maybe they’re not at your store? They’re just store brand where I live, and all they have are those and the peanut butter ones (and the peanut butter ones aren’t very good.)

      Yay, thank you! I am wearing the skull necklace today and it is wonderful!

      Like

  • blogginglily

    When is the murdering? I mean…i don’t want you to die, but we all know this ends in someone being murdered because that’s the way of these things, and you’ve filled me with so much SUSPENSE for all the murdering. He strangles you with the skull necklace doesn’t he?

    Like

  • becomingcliche

    You would think that for $7 it would have a fancier name, like Frederique. French things are fancy and therefore more expensive.

    It, too, am curious about the murdering thing. Because he gave you three things he could poison and two things that wind about your neck. And because it’s a serial story. Serial story – serial killer? Anyone else seeing a connection here?

    If it turns out that he killed you with a necklace, may I have the pear chocolates, please? Which suddenly reminds me of an incredibly horrible story from my youth. I think I need to lie down now.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I know, right? That water made me laugh so hard. Only a VERY fancy hotel would name their water. And then name it wrong.

      No killings! Since I’m still here posting and he’s still commenting, we are still alive. Well, at least I think we are. Andreas, are we still alive?

      I am curious about the horror story, but if it made you have to lie down, I’m kind of nervous, too. If you were here, I would let you share my pear chocolate. It’s a VERY big bar.

      Like

    • greengeekgirl

      YES, Frederique should totally be the name of that water.

      Like

  • greengeekgirl

    I loooooove your skull necklace. It is kind of the best thing. (Future-Mrs-Andreas’s necklace is gorgeous, but I have a thing for skulls and Day of the Dead so I zeroed in on that one.) Excellent work, Andreas!

    (OH MAN WE TOTALLY HAVE ANOTHER THING THAT WE BOTH HAVE A THING FOR THAT IS SO SURPRISING)

    I’m perplexed where your dad got this female truck driver business. I thought most people pretending to be other people on the internets were like, middle-aged creepster dudes?

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    • lucysfootball

      It is the best. I’m wearing it today and just kept reaching up and touching it and grinning. I adore it!

      I don’t know where Dad got the truck driver thing. Somewhere on TV? Some Lifetime movie or something? Oh, crap, probably Fox News. Because trust Fox News to say all creepsters on the internet are middle-aged women. Not MEN. Men are UNTOUCHABLE and AWESOME and INFALLIBLE. Sigh.

      Like

      • greengeekgirl

        I bet they’re the largest employer of middle-aged creepster dudes in America… Bill O’Reilly, for example.

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        • lucysfootball

          But they’re both FAIR and BALANCED! Which means, along with the creepsters, they also have newscaster ladies with tight tops and very short skirts and bad dye jobs who giggle a lot.

          When I call them out on it, Dad looks all hurt and says, “That’s just mean, Amy. Those women are SO SMART.”

          Is THAT what they’re calling it now. SMART. Oh, ok then.

          Like

  • Heather

    Three cheers for amazing Andreas and presents! The necklace his fiancée made is beautiful.

    Like

  • Kris

    So glad you are not trying to rush through the Amazing Andreas Visit, and are giving the story the proper number of posts it deserves! (I’m just catching up, today – haven’t been feeling well…)

    LOVE the necklaces, both of them! A’s fiancee is really talented! What a lovely gift.

    I’m totally glad he didn’t turn out to be a female truck driver! And that, apparently, there was no murdering going on! ;-)

    On to the rest of the posts!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I’m glad he wasn’t a female truck driver, too! What would I have done? That would have been terrifying! And no, no murdering. Just a lot of coffee-drinking and talking and walking and laughing!

      Like

      • Andreas Heinakroon

        It was really the best of days. I’m so sad it’s over. But… plans for the future!

        Like

        • lucysfootball

          I’m so sad, too. But, yes. Think of all the things we can do next year! I’m the most excited just thinking of it! I will get to be an INTERNATIONAL TRAVELER! Oh, the blog posts that will come of THAT, can you even IMAGINE!?!?!?

          I am working on my Swedish. FIRST, I practiced how to say hello. From what I can tell, I think it is just “hello” but with an “a” where the “e” is. How’d I do?

          Like

  • Friends | heinakroon.com

    […] that’s ‘posts’ as in plural, because there are several) on the subject: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5. She goes into plenty of details on what we did and where we went. […]

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