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Kind-of-Sort-of-Ask-Lucy a.k.a. I CAN ANSWER THAT! (Volume 11.5, purely Facebook edition)

OK, so usually this is not the order we do this in. I know that. However, I kind of ran out of time tonight to write a crazy-long post because I spent like an HOUR doing something I HATE and that thing is SHOPPING FOR CLOTHING. It was hot and I was cranky. HOWEVER, I prevailed, as I am wont to do, and left with EIGHT NEW SHIRTS and THREE NEW PAIRS OF PANTS. I know, I kind of win. Even better: most of them were on sale and therefore MUCH cheaper than you would even imagine, and some of them are even DRESSY. Now I have to decide what will I wear to the City? SO MANY CHOICES ARGH.

NO ONE SHOULD BE THIS HAPPY WHILE SHOPPING NO ONEEEEE

NO ONE SHOULD BE THIS HAPPY WHILE SHOPPING NO ONEEEEE

Anyway, so usually we do search terms, then we do questions, but lately my questions have been weirdotimes, so today we’re doing questions FIRST, then we’re possibly doing search terms tomorrow if I don’t fall asleep or get bored or whatever, I don’t know.

The questions this month were one of two things: either very stupid or about Facebook. That’s it. That’s all I got. I can roll with the punches, baby. I can do that. No, that’s not an invitation to punch me, don’t even try.

So…

Welcome to…  

Kind-of-sort-of Ask Lucy.  

Subtitled: I CAN ANSWER THAT!  

SUB-Subtitled, purely Facebook edition, because that’s all we got this month, yo, you people are OBSESSED with Facebook, and also possibly not very bright. Sorry, just telling it the way I see it.

These are all ACTUAL SEARCH TERMS that brought people to my blog. So these people totally need my help, obviously, because they came to Google SEARCHING FOR HELP. And they obviously didn’t find it, because they ended up here. They ended up here because ONE TIME I wrote a post about the Facebook “people you may know” feature and how stupid I thought it was, and apparently this makes me the go-to person for all things Facebook-related. Which is a little strange. But I’m down. I’ll play. I’m helpful.

how open may facebook¿ I like your kicky upside-down question mark, mi amigo. Or possibly amiga, I suppose. You want to know how to OPEN your Facebook? I would assume…go to the Facebook page, put in your username and password, and then wait for it to load? This isn’t too difficult. Like, if you’re having problems opening the Facebook page itself, that might be a problem with your internet carrier. And if you’re having a problem with your username or password, there are ways to reset those. This isn’t the hardest thing ever. I know you can do this. I have faith in you. You are EN FUEGO, MI AMOR. 

ESPANOL!!!!

ESPANOL!!!!

A number of questions about the “do you know this person outside of Facebook” question when you reject a person’s friend request People seem FASCINATED about this. So if you get a friend request and you reject it (which I do, like half the time I get them, yes, I’m that asshole) you get a little box that says, “Do you know this person outside of Facebook?” If you click yes, that person is welcome to send you future friend requests. If you say no (whether it’s true or not) that person is now blocked from sending you future friend requests. So if someone you don’t want to send you friend requests is doing so, reject it and click “No” on that box, and they can’t do that anymore. Easy as pie, jellybean. Except for the guilt. THE CRUSHING GUILT. 

DELETE DELETE DELETE!!!

DELETE DELETE DELETE!!!

Questions about people you may know (how to delete them; do people ever disappear; why there are “only 25”’; why it disappeared; how it works; the “top two” people; do I show up in their people; why it “doesn’t work”; how to stop making it happen altogether; how to make yourself appear in someone ELSE’S “people you may know”; how to find more people you may know; how to send them a friend request once you’ve found them; why people are showing up in there with no mutual friends; if you look at it, are you stalking?; how the “top name” is chosen) As you can see, this was the main search result that brought people to my blog this month. I had – and I am not kidding, I totally do this every month – a page and a half, in Word, of blah-blah-PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW questions in my results. You seem really, REALLY curious about this. Considering it’s been months since I blogged about this, why this happened this month is perplexing, but who am I to question the world and the way it works, you know?

I will totally do my best to answer these questions, yo. It’s what I do, even though I think they’re kind of silly. 

All the lonely people. Where do they all belong?

All the lonely people. Where do they all belong?

  • To delete them, click the little “x” to the right of the person’s thumbnail profile on your page.
  • I don’t know if people ever disappear on their own, but if you want them gone, delete their asses.
  • I don’t know why you people keep saying there are 25. I have like 1-5 that show up randomly on my page, and then pages and pages if I click the “see more” button. Doesn’t everyone have that? I don’t know why you would have only 25. And it’s not like I have a billion friends, either. As mentioned above, I turn down friends all the time. I think I’ve probably turned down more friends than I have. Because I’m weird about my Facebook. Shh, leave me alone.
  • I can’t answer why it disappeared. Mine disappears sometimes, too, but then it’s back the next time I check. It’s Facebook. There’s no rhyme or reason, nor should there be. It’s free, you know? I don’t know that you can complain about free shit.
  • Much like your “25” people, I don’t know what you’re talking about with your “top 2” or “top name.” I don’t ever have a top 2 or “top name.” I have people that come and go. Sometimes they give me the shivers, these people. I don’t know that there are any two that come and go more than others. Some of these questions confuse me.
  • I can only assume that yes, you probably show up on some people’s “people you may know” just as they show up on yours. It’s the way of the world. Or of Facebook, which to some people, IS the world, sad as it is.
  • I don’t know why it “doesn’t work.” It does tend to show people that I don’t know, so I guess, yes, based on that, it’s not working. Also, the other day it wanted me to friend a guy I know has been dead for years, so that was kind of morbid. But it works fine enough. You’re under no obligation to friend those people. Do your thing, babe.
  • I don’t think you can make it stop happening altogether. As mentioned: it is a free service. You kind of have to go where it takes you or delete your profile. You can complain vociferously but it won’t go very far. Zuckerberg doesn’t care.
  • I don’t think you can FORCE your way into someone else’s “people you may know.” Maybe just send that person a friend request, see how that goes, if you want to be their friend? Just a thought.
  • To find more people you may know, click on the button at the top where your friend requests are. It will bring you to a whole PAGE of people you may know. SO MANY PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST. Some of them will give you, too, the shivers. I guarantee it.
  • Are you really asking me how to send a friend request? Click on the button that says “send a friend request” on the person’s page. SOLVED IT!
  • Honestly, I have no idea why people show up in your list with whom you have no mutual friends, because why would they be “people you may know” if you know no mutual people? I’m as befuddled by that as you are, babydoll.
  • “If you look at it, are you stalking.” No. Not really. You’re just looking at it. Everyone does. It’s part of the reason we’re on Facebook. We all stalk, now and then. It’s just a thing. Don’t fret too much. And don’t do too much of it, or it BECOMES stalking.

i find it very amusing people that people block me on facebook and follow me on linkedin – well, ok, I don’t know anything about Linkedin. I don’t have a profile there. I keep work off social media. (Well, I try to. I didn’t, last year, and we all know what happened there.) I also don’t like how many emails Linkedin sends you when someone tries to get you to be their contact or whatever it’s called. You get about five for each invite. “You didn’t respond! Hello! Amy! Hello, Amy! Are you THERE? Join Linkedin now! IT WILL BE YOUR DOOM IF YOU DO NOT!” I don’t know anything about it, so I can’t help you with this. Maybe you’re an asshole on Facebook and you’re not on Linkedin? I don’t know what to tell you, bub. Best of all luck to you here, I guess.

Well, THIS doesn't make me want to join any more than I ALREADY don't want to join. Sheesh.

Well, THIS doesn’t make me want to join any more than I ALREADY don’t want to join. Sheesh.

i know what u think im fake and u unfrnd huh i dont care  – there are a lot of unfortunate typos here, yo. I don’t know that I think you’re “fake,” mostly because I don’t know who you ARE, but you’re right, I would totally unfriend someone who spells like this. I’m a total grammar and spelling snob and if you spell like this, I can’t keep seeing it in my feeds because, to me, it’s like nails on a chalkboard. I’m glad you huh don’t care. That way I won’t have to worry if you can’t sleep at night, I guess. 

if you spy on someone on facebook will you show up under people you may know – sigh. No. No, you won’t. There’s no way for anyone to tell, on their profile, as of now, who’s been stalking them. There is a way if they log in as YOU to see if you’ve been stalking them. It’s called “search history” and it’s new and it was rolled out all secret-like and it has something to do with that terrible scary Graph Search thing that’s coming out. Here’s how to clear it if you ever leave yourself logged on and you’re afraid people will see you searched your ex daily for like a month. You’re welcome, just looking out for you.

so sad i deleted people on facebook – deleted them like unfriended them? Send them a friend request with a message saying “I’m a jerk, I accidentally unfriended you, sorry!” and if they are true friends, they’ll accept your request again, I suppose. Or deleted them on the people you may know function? If that’s the case, search for ’em and send them a friend request. Don’t be so sad. Don’t do that.

There you go. All the Facebook questions, because apparently that’s ALL YOU PEOPLE CARE ABOUT. I have a Facebook question. Is it ok to periodically go through and delete people you don’t really like and never talk to? Because I’m totally about to do that. OK, that’s not as much a question as it is a statement. Thanks ever so.

FOUR DAYS TIL ANDREAS!!!

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

20 responses to “Kind-of-Sort-of-Ask-Lucy a.k.a. I CAN ANSWER THAT! (Volume 11.5, purely Facebook edition)

  • Kris

    LinkedIn is all about business contacts, i.e. networking for professional reasons. It’s “social” in that it’s people connecting, but it is pretty much the “anti-Facebook”. It’s totally for business connections – people post resumes, you can write references for people you know, you can post jobs, etc. It’s WAY WAAAAAYYYY less annoying than Facebook, and for “business professionals” it’s pretty useful, I guess. I’m on it, and have written some recommendations for folks (when requested), but that’s about all.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I don’t know why, but it freaks me out more than other aspects of social media. I don’t want people seeing my resume. Somehow, that’s a lot less people’s business than anything else. I don’t know why.

      Like

      • Kris

        Oh, you can totally protect who gets to see what. But, I totally understand not wanting to have yet another ‘social’ site to have to worry about privacy issues!! I wasn’t trying to get you to sign up! I was just trying to tell you what it was and how it differed from FB. :-)

        Like

  • becomingcliche

    I do hope you friended the dead guy. I see you as an open-minded kind of person, and it would shatter my image of you to discover that you discriminate against the dead.

    Eagerly awaiting your response,
    A friendless chick on The Other Side

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I did not send a friend request to the dead guy, only because…who would accept it? And it would freak me OUT!

      I’ll accept your friend request, friendless chick. Just send it along. I could use a good ghostie friend!

      Like

  • Cody

    I always delete folks! Because I am OCD about my Facebook and digital stuff in general. Luckily most people understand. Some don’t and are jerks about it, but hey, now I know they are jerks and don’t feel bad about deleting them! Problem solved.

    Like

  • Nerija S.

    And you are totally EN FUEGO, MI AMY-GA, with these answers!

    (well…it sounded punny in my head! ^_^; )

    Like

  • Krysty

    Re clothes shopping: I don’t like it either. What I do is when I find a shirt I like, I buy three or four of it in different colors. I have less than 20 shirts, I think, and there are only 3-4 designs. It makes my life much easier.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I have a ton of clothes but only probably a handful I actually wear on a regular basis. It’s amazing to me that I don’t wear most of what I own. I really need to go through my closet one of these days and get rid of some things.

      And I totally did that buying-multiples-of-the-same-shirt thing when I was shopping! I found the most wonderful, comfiest long-sleeved t-shirt on sale for THREE DOLLARS and they had two in my size in two different colors. They are now both mine, of course.

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    I don’t like Facebook much. But I’m using it more nowadays than before. I don’t know, I guess I know more cool and funny people there now than I did before. Not as cool or funny as on Twitter, but still.

    I’m still on linkedin, I think. Haven’t updated anything in months though, so can’t really say I’m using it as such.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I don’t mind it. I just ignore most of the annoyances. Twitter is superior, true, but honestly, I’m not there much, either. I’m nowhere much lately. I’m hiding, is where I am.

      I think probably everyone in the world is on Linkedin but me. I’ve gotten about a billion invites to the damn thing from people.

      Like

  • Heather

    I don’t like clothes shopping, either. Blerg.

    Facebook is annoying me more and more lately. This new “suggested post” thing is really ticking me off. Sigh.

    Like

  • handflapper

    I hate clothes shopping with the white hot hate of a thousand fiery suns. Unless it’s for someone else. I’ll shop all day for my husband, my sons, Hellbaby. . .

    I am friends with at least three dead people on Facebook. I am not even kidding. But I was friends with them before they were dead. Apparently no one knows how to thinks to delete dead people’s accounts? And two of these people were really young when they died, car wrecks, so sad, and for weeks all these over dramatic teenagers were writing stuff on their walls about how much they missed them, asking them how they liked heaven, letting them know the basketball game score. . .

    Why are we not Facebook friends? I will send you a request. I don’t have a Handflapper page, just my alternate universe (“real” life) page. So you may think you don’t know me, but you do. I hardly ever post anything there anymore because I’m on twitter and for some reason I have difficulty maintaining multiple social media sites.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Someone I know just died and it was like a race on Facebook to see who could post more photos, sad things, obituaries, etc. about him. I told my friends if I died and anyone wrote anything about me, to go to their house and slap them. “But it means they CARE about you!” they said. “I don’t care. I WILL BE DEAD. I want to know you’re slapping people for me when I’m dead, dammit,” I said. They grudgingly agreed. Also they promised to take my Facebook page down when I die. Because it freaks me out I might be showing up in people’s suggested friends FROM BEYOND THE GRAAAAAAAAVE.

      Listen to a story! I totally wanted to send you a friend request when I saw you’d liked my page on FB but then I thought that was weird because I’m totally the weirdest about Facebook and I think that everyone would NOT want to be my friend because my brain’s still in high school. But now I can’t find you on my blog Facebook page because I think you changed your picture or maybe I’ve lost my mind. So YES. Totally send me a request. Unless you can’t find me because I try to fly under the radar over there. Then yell at me, and I will send you a DM with my Facebook page link.

      I don’t post much there, either, but I’m on there a lot. I like things. If they deserve liking, that is. Sometimes I make pithy comments. And I like to bother Andreas by posting things on his page that will make him laugh and/or angry about the lack of science education in schools. It entertains me.

      Like

      • Anonymous

        Send me your Facebook link because you probably can’t find me because you don’t know my real name. Also send me the link to your Goodreads page, because when I click on the link on your FAQ page, it takes me. . . nowhere. Not even to Narnia. So sad.

        Like

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