I have a confession to make. It’s going to shock and awe you, so prepare yourselves. Probably take a seat? Get yourselves a cool beverage? Take some deep breaths?
Are you all prepared? Jeez, I hope so.
I have fallen madly in love with e-reading.
I KNOW. I totally fought it, you guys. Kicking and screaming. I was all YOU WILL TEAR MY PAPER BOOKS FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS. A couple of years ago, I found out that I was going to get a Kindle for Christmas, but when my dad found out, he told my brother’s girlfriend “OMG DO NOT GIVE HER THAT SHE WILL PITCH SUCH A CHRISTMAS FIT!!!” so she exchanged it for something else and I don’t even remember what right now. When I talked to her about it a couple of days later, she said she still had it; did I want it? (She’s very generous, no joke.) And I thought about it, but decided against it. I didn’t think I would use it. And it seemed like a very expensive thing to take that I wasn’t going to use. (I wouldn’t have pitched a Christmas fit, though. I’m very gracious about receiving presents I won’t use. I put on a very nice face and am all, “Oh! Wow! SO NICE! And thoughtful!” and such and the person doesn’t even know I’m planning where in my closet I will stash the thing.)
Oh, SIDE NOTE, and speaking of Dad, I spoke to him this evening, and he was VERY UPSET ABOUT SOME THINGS. First, Mom was making him go to this three-day church thing where you go listen to these friars talk about…I don’t know, being friars, I guess (Dad says that none of their last names are Tuck, and they don’t wear brown robes with rope belts, so I think this friar thing is really overrated) and that means he’s going to miss Survivor. MISS! SURVIVOR! Can you even imagine? Who will yell at Jeff Probst if Dad is listening to the friars talk about being friar-y? And THEN he told me that Mom has a COLD and he has to SIT next to her at church and WHAT IF HE CATCHES THAT COLD? He is an old MAN, you know! THIS COULD BE IT! He might be ONE COLD AWAY FROM DEATH! And, guess what else, GUESS WHAT ELSE! There was some ice he slipped on the other day and he fell, and now he is QUITE SURE he has BONE FRAGMENTS from his BACK in his BLOODSTREAM that are WORKING THEIR WAY to his HEART, because that’s what happens, Amy. THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS. So as you can all see by this very lengthy side note, Dad is totally on the way out, and he won’t even get to watch Survivor as his last request. IT IS ALL VERY SAD.
OK, let’s get this train back on the tracks. Choo-choo!
So I fought the relentless wave of literary technology. I got my books from the library; once and a while, I’d buy one. This worked out just fine, mostly because I was poor and library books are free, you guys.
However, I was lucky as hell to get an amazing job in December, and along with this amazing job that I actually enjoy going to on a daily basis comes an added bonus – a real paycheck. A paycheck that covers the bills AND leaves money for additional things like new phones and Netflix and such. And I kind of wanted a tablet. And I thought, well, I could get a Kindle. That’s a tablet AND an e-reader. It’s the future. I really should get with the future. EVERYONE is in the future. Every single person. Except me.
And I thought of all the sad tree-books that were not getting read and all the publishing houses that were losing money and possibly going out of business and it totally made me sad-face like I was probably betraying all those books that got me through all the hardest times of my life. But it is the FUTURE. The future! Who am I to deny the future, really?
Then I got my Kindle in the mail. And it was – oh, my. It was so pretty. SO PRETTY. And I got a snappy orange case and it was very easy to set up and install all of the apps onto and it hooked up easily to the wireless in my house (whew, thank goodness I got wireless for the laptop last year, I’m using the wireless for SO MANY THINGS right now) and then it was time for books.
So I took books I had on my laptop Kindle app, which I barely used and it annoyed me the most because I hate reading books on the computer screen, and moved ’em on over. Then I had some books gifted to me from a wonderful friend. So I had a LOT of books on the Kindle.
One was a Stephen King/Joe Hill short story I hadn’t read yet. “I’m not really CHEATING on paper books if I read this one short STORY,” I thought.
So I brought the pretty new Kindle to bed with me.
That’s where the trouble starts, you guys. The bedroom. Every single time. It’s what your momma warned you about.
THE KINDLE WAS SO PRETTY. And so easy to use. And the pages were so bright and crisp and easy to see. And you can just pop on over to the next page with a simple swoop! and then there you are. And you can hold it in one hand. And you can totally snuggle under the covers easier with it. And and and…
Oh, you guys. I totally dig the Kindle.
So, so much.
Also, it’s a lot easier to read it in the light booth at the theater than attempting to keep your place and prop up a book on the sound board while you’re trying to keep your place in the script and run the cues. And you can highlight passages you like and you can bookmark where you are. (Highlighting is a problem in library books. I’m the jerk who makes little light pencil marks and puts in a billion bookmarks so I can write down the passages I liked when I’m done reading. Then I erase them, I’m not a total asshole. In library books. When I OWN the book, I write all OVER that sucker.)
So, I take it back. I take back all my hatred of e-readers. I take it all back. You were right, all you people that exhorted me to please, please, PLEASE get off my ass and get an e-reader, already. I LOVE IT.
Also, one-click ordering might be my downfall. And the Kindle – which is actually a Kindle Fire HD – displays graphic novels GORGEOUSLY. So did I actually buy all of Joe Hill’s Locke and Key graphic novels tonight and spend an exorbitant amount of money on them because I wanted to own them all? Yes. Yes, I did. SO PRETTY.
Do I still have (and read) paper books? Yep. I have a pile and a half from the library I’m working my way through. And some that I own. All the paper books. I don’t HATE them. I’m reading one right now, actually. I’ll never stop loving my paper books. They make up most of my decorating scheme, anyway. What would I do if I got rid of them? The place would be SO EMPTY. Dumbcat would be SO CONFUSED.
I owe you an apology, e-readers of the world. I’m sorry I was so yelly about you. You are actually the most awesome. I don’t know that you will be the downfall of paper books – I’m assuming you will not, I think there will always be a market for paper books – but I’m completely and totally head-over-heels for you, and I keep downloading more and more books and just looking, lustfully, at your gorgeous homescreen with ALL THE PRETTY BOOKS like JEWELS.
Yet again, you roped me in with your awesomeness, technology. Someday I will learn not to doubt you. Maybe. Probably.