I have two very important things to tell you! TWO THINGS! And possibly more, who knows what will happen, I get distracted a lot, I’m like a kitten with string and/or toy mice.
So today, Andreas and I attempted to Skype AGAIN. We are nothing if not persistent. But immediately, Skype did not work. So I sent poor Andreas many many all-caps messages like “SKYPE HATES ME” and “I HATE VIDEO CHATTING” and “THIS IS NOT LIKE JETSONS-WORLD AT ALLLLLL” and he was very patient and said, “Now we will try Tango” which apparently is like Skype only not Skype, and not the sexy dance. (SIDE NOTE! I had to do the tango in this play I was in once, in college? And I cannot dance, not even the slightest bit at all? So they even had me go to the dance teacher lady on campus for lessons and I made her put her head down and make suspicious noises that I think were probably weeping-noises? Yeah, so this story ends with I kind of wasn’t very good at that at all, and probably shouldn’t dance in public or private or kind of anywhere again ever. SO, of course when Andreas was all “I’m going to invite you to Tango” I was all “NO NO NEVER AGAIN I MADE MISS SIDNEY CRY!” but come to find out it was ok after all.)
So we tried Tango and it didn’t even download right away because the internet hated me today but then it FINALLY downloaded and then we tried Tango and guess what? No. Seriously. Guess.
IT DIDN’T WORK EITHER.
It let us call each other, then it let us say, “Hello?” but not see each other’s faces, and then it immediately hung up on us. Numerous times. So then there was a flurry of ALL-CAPS EMAILS. Repeating my earlier “ZOMG ANDREAS I AM BREAKING THE INTERNET.” And because Andreas is calm, he replied with, “Yes. Yes you are. Let’s try again.”
We decided to try Skype again, because we could at least not-talk and type. So that was pathetic and sad, but ok, sort-of.
So then we Skyped and it kept doing that freezing crap so we typed and then I heard adorable noises so Andreas went to get his wonderful amazing son! And apparently, that FIXED SKYPE! Because then Skype started working! So I could see Andreas’ son! And here’s the best part, ready? I MADE HIM LAUGH! He laughed an adorable baby-laugh! I MADE A BABY LAUGH ALL THE WAY IN FINLAND! Also, he is WONDERFUL. He has the most amazing eyes and he totally pays attention to you and puts his whole hand in his mouth and laughs and laughs.
So Andreas and I got to talk with our faces AND our mouths, and we stalked each other and also various places we are going in New York City on Google Streetview and talked about his upcoming trip and various things and this and that and LISTEN. I’m totally the most awkward talking on the phone to anyone but my parents? It is the truth. I am very weird about phones. And probably just as weird about video-phones, if I had ever used one successfully.
HOWEVER! It was not at all awkward with Andreas. This could be for a variety of reasons: we email and talk so often it’s like we already know each other; Andreas is just very cool so things are easy; magic; all of the above. I choose d.
Anyway, this is a very good sign that our New York City trip will be a grand success. And BFF totally guessed where we were going after reading yesterday’s post. I got a text all “YOU ARE GOING TO ______!” and I texted back “Hee, yep, we totally are.” He wins guessery!
And then tonight I went to the bookstore to buy Andreas’ wonderful daughter some books so she can have presents from the crazy lady from Merka. And also got a present for the most wonderful baby boy, and then this week will get presents for Andreas and his lovely fiancée. I HAVE ALL THE PLANS AND SCHEMES!!! (I cannot tell you what they are now, but once they are gifted, I totally will, because they are fun and awesome.)
(Also, I got to see my wonderful bookstore friend K., who is not my theater friend K. – although she IS a theater friend, just not THAT theater friend, THIS IS ALL VERY CONFUSING I’M SORRY! and she helped me pick out the best books for a wonderful little girl with the best smile ever. And we had the best talk. I haven’t seen her in a while and it was so nice to see her and we are going to get together soon for an airing of grievances because we both have many grievances and perhaps we could SOLVE each other’s grievances, and wouldn’t that be nice? Sure it would!)
ANYWAY, today was totally a triumph for the idea of living in Jetsons-times, and I approve. Also, let Andreas tell you what he will, but he is TOTALLY fancy. He’s both very calming and very challenging. Does that make sense? I don’t even care, that’s what he is. (Good challenging, not like when someone’s being an asshole and you’re all trying not to hit them with a mallet and you say, “YOU’RE certainly being challenging today, aren’t you?” No. Like the kind of challenging where the person makes you think about things you never knew before, that kind of challenging.) He’s the person I want in my corner forever and ever. I couldn’t be more excited about a week from Saturday if you told me there would be penguins. And who’s to say, really, that there won’t be penguins? Who, really?
OK, I said I had two things to tell you and I DO, but this is getting mega-long. I told you I’d go off on tangents. When do I not go off on tangents?
When I saw C. and C. this weekend, C. (FEMALE C., I know that gets confusing) told me a VERY EXCITING THING. Well, also distressing, but EXCITING. Because I am WEIRD.
THERE WAS A SERIAL KILLER IN POUGHKEEPSIE AND C. AND C.’S NEW HOUSE IS RIGHT NEAR THE MURDER HOUSE.
OK, so the serial killer was like fifteen years ago, but still! MURDER HOUSE! And I’m going to see C. and C. in about a month, and they said (and, surprisingly, were not even fazed by my request, because they know me very well) WE CAN DRIVE BY THE MURDER HOUSE!
So the killer’s name was Kendall Francois (ooh la la!) and he was a murderer of ladies of the evening. That means prostitutes, you guys.
If you go to this Wikipedia page, the best part of it is that under his name, it says “also known as” and it says “The Poughkeepsie Killer” and then it also says “Stinky.” STINKY! I don’t know that I could take a serial killer seriously if he was all, “I’m going to stab you to death right now, in the meantime, call me Stinky, everyone does.”
Also, his job was that he was a hall monitor at a middle school. I feel like someone named Stinky would not be an appropriate hall monitor. Also, well, serial killer.
Stinky the Serial Killer killed at least 8 women over a two-year period. He only was discovered because one of the ladies of the evening escaped and went to the local convenience store and was all, “yo, this dude tried to kill me” and then the cops moved in and found ALL THE DEAD BODIES IN HIS YARD. In the MURDER HOUSE. In the area where my FRIENDS CURRENTLY LIVE.
Things I asked C. and C. about this story:
- “There was a SERIAL KILLER in your TOWN? I mean. Um. I know that’s totally distressing. YET I CAN’T EVEN PRETEND I’M NOT EXCITED; YOU PEOPLE KNOW I LOVE SERIAL KILLERS!”
- “We can drive past the MURDER HOUSE? Do people live in the murder house? Murder house is a lot more fun to say if you roll the first r. Murrrrrrder house.”
- “There are hookers in Poughkeepsie? You don’t even seem surprised about this, you guys, you’re all blasé about the hookers. I find that equal parts charming and worrisome, to be honest.”
- “Wait, there’s a MOVIE about the serial killer? Called The Poughkeepsie Tapes? WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS YET? OMG, C., remember in college we watched that movie about Binghamton and it was terrible and I kept wanting to turn it off and you were SO SADFACE and you said ‘But it’s about BINGHAMTON!’ until we totally got the giggles?”
- “Murrrrrder house, murrrrrder house, WE ARE GOING TO DRIVE PAST A MURRRRRRDER HOUSE!!!”
- “What do you MEAN the 7-11 we went to that time was the convenience store the hooker ran to? OMG. This is VERY EXCITING. We should make our OWN movie called My Friends Live in the Same Neighborhood as a Murder House and Here Are Some Places That Play a Large Part in the Story of Murderous Murder. That’d do well in theaters, right?”
As you can see, I’m really a barrel of fun to bring to the Dinosaur BBQ. I’m really the most inquisitive and joyous.
Also, C. and C., I found this book when I was researching this and I think we should start our own book club and all read it.
You know it’s good because it’s by the author of Lobster Boy.
So next month, first there’s Andreas, then there’s MURDER HOUSE. I mean, could March get any better? The answer is, NO IT COULD NOT!
Happy Tuesday, people of the internets! Watch out for people named Stinky! I mean, I don’t feel as if I should have to warn you about that, but now we have a NEW reason to find them suspect!