NPR is attempting to break my brain. I think it achieved its goal.

I promised you another music post. I know, I know, I’ve been spotty about posting this week. Things are slowing down now, I promise. Here’s a little timeline, for those of you who like such things:

  • One more night of auditions (which will be done by the time you read this);
  • Two more weekends of my show;
  • 5 days until I get to see C. & C. and they see my show and we have dinner;
  • 5 days until BFF’s birthday, which as far as I’m concerned should be a national holiday;
  • 6 more days until I get a day off because of PRESIDENTS of MERKA;
  • 5 or 6 days until I *possibly* get to see R. & A. and baby Ceevee, maybe?
  • One more week until we vote on our next season at the theater, and I can tell you what it is, and that’s exciting (FINE, maybe it’s only exciting for me)
  • Two weeks and 4 days until I meet Andreas in REALLY REAL PERSON (eeeee!);
  • And, one month and 5 days until I go on a road trip to see Spring Awakening with C. at a new theater!

Lots upcoming, my little hot pockets. NOT A EUPHEMISM. Ew, I never thought of hot pockets as a euphemism before. Now you can never unthink that, can you? Yuck.

This is one grody euphemism, yo.

This is one grody euphemism, yo.

So a while ago, Mer recommended something to me on NPR (oh, I think it was this article about “Hallelujah”) and one of the links on that article was this article, about this project asking not your six favorite songs, but six questions about six songs, which they thought was more insightful than just saying, “Hey! What are your six favorite songs!” and I don’t know that I could answer that question, anyway, because it changes a lot. I’m very mercurial, song-wise.

I don’t know that I can answer what my six top songs are for these questions, either, but I’ll try. (Listen, the NPR answerer guy had super-erudite answers. You will not find those here. I will not be giving you classical selections with my answers. I think I know two classical pieces. No, wait, maybe three. I’m not a classical music person. I appreciate the work that both went into writing it, and the work that goes into performing it, but I really, really like words in my music. I know. I KNOW. This makes me kind of the worst. It’s not like I’d walk out of a classical concert. I’d just get really bored. QUIETLY bored, I wouldn’t get all foot-tappy and huffy or anything, sheesh, I can FAKE class if I HAVE to. The way I do that is nod intelligently and don’t move much. Because if I open my mouth my lack of class shows, and if I move, I am VERY SPASTIC.)

Here are the six questions:

  1. What was the first song you ever bought?
  2. What song always gets you dancing?
  3. What song takes you back to your childhood?
  4. What is your perfect love song?
  5. What song would you want at your funeral?
  6. Time for an encore. One last song that makes you, you.

Now, for some of you, these might be easy. For me? SUPER DUPER DIFFICULT. But I will venture forth. Like a brave little toaster. Man, now I want toast. With butter. Or maybe jam.

This looks like just bread with jam, but I totally want it now, because nom.

This looks like just bread with jam, but I totally want it now, because nom.

1.       What was the first song you ever bought?

I like that this assumes people answering this are in the digital age and are purchasing songs. Nope. I had to purchase an album to get a song, back in the day. And honestly, looking back, the first album I purchased, with my own money, I believe, was…oh, this is kind of embarrassing. I think it was The Goonies soundtrack. I used to be OBSESSED with The Goonies. I had such a crush on young Sean Astin. I would watch the movie over and over. It got to the point where my brother dared me to transcribe the movie without watching it AND I COULD. Well, mostly. So, yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s the first thing I bought. And I can still think of some of the music that was on that album, too. Cyndi Lauper. Teena Marie. It was totally a cassette tape. I felt very fancy, owning that.

2.       What song always gets you dancing?

I don’t dance much. Because, well, do you see above? Spastic? Yep. I kind of car-dance when the boppier songs come on. Bop my head along. Tap the steering wheel. Scare the other drivers into thinking I’m going to drive into their lane, probably. But I don’t dance. But if I have to answer this question honestly, I’m going to have to say Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” I can’t sit still for that one. Sorry. I know that’s embarrassing. I was even dancing around to it a while back when it was on the TV and I realized it wasn’t Beyonce, it was actually a commercial for the latest travesty of a Chipmunks movie. That’s a dancey song. I can’t help myself. If it’s on, I have to put a ring on it, I like it that much. And yes, I know there’s an accent on Beyonce’s name. WordPress isn’t letting me do it right now, and I’m very tired. Sorry, Beyonce. I know this means you’ll never put a ring on me now.

3.       What song takes you back to your childhood?

Ooh, this is a tough one. There are actually quite a few. I’ll go back far far far, and make it one of the first songs I remember: Tammy Wynette’s “I Don’t Wanna Play House.” My mom loved Tammy Wynette and we had her greatest hits on 8-track (I’m not young, you guys) and when my mom was cleaning the house and I was playing in the living room, she would play Tammy Wynette and she would just belt along with this one, and “D-I-V-O-R-C-E” and I still know all the words to both of these, and I still put them on playlists for myself, and they still make me smile. Even though they’re not really smiley songs, but still. They remind me of much simpler times, when I was little and safe and the most difficult decision was whether to play with the Play-doh or the Legos, you know?

4.       What is your perfect love song?

Crap, now THIS is a hard one. I’ve totally been mulling this for like two weeks, no joke. Because I have a few that I think are perfect love songs, and I don’t know if I can narrow this down. So I’m going to have to read the lyrics of my four favorite love songs and then decide, based on the lyrics, which is the PERFECT love song. SO HARD YOU GUYS SO SO HARD!

Alright, with much pondering and attempting to choose something OTHER than this song, because I think a billion people my age (including the friend of the author mentioned in the article) would pick the same damn one, and I hate to be a sheep, because even though we all know sheep go to heaven and goats go to the burny place, you guys, I have to (HAVE TO) go with Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes.” Just have to. It is the perfect love song. It’s not the perfect SAD song; it’s not the perfect song when my heart is broken and the tears are dripping into my ears as I try to fall asleep. I have a billion of those, and more every day, honestly. I’m a champion at finding those. But that wasn’t the question, now was it? The question was, what is MY perfect love song. And this is it. This song is my perfect love song. This is the song. This one. Even though it probably is also a lot of other people’s song, as well (and I know that at least one of my nearest and dearest wants it to be her first dance song at her wedding), it’s mine. What can I say, I will forever be molded by seeing Lloyd holding up that boombox with that both heartbroken and daringly cynically slightly hopeful look on his face. This song is someone seeing the doorway to a thousand churches in someone else’s eyes. Is that not perfection?

5.       What song would you want at your funeral?

Crap, well, that’s depressing. I don’t know that there will be MUSIC at my FUNERAL. Why are we having a dance party at my damn FUNERAL? Fine. Can it be “Hallelujah?” It’s not very funerally, but if it’s my last request, dammit, I get “Hallelujah” at my funeral. The Jeff Buckley version, please. If you play something else, my haunty ghost will be very disappointed in you.

(ZOMG IN NEWS OF CREEPY, I was just writing this, and I’m listening to Pandora, and “Hallelujah” JUST CAME ON. It’s the Rufus Wainwright version, but STILL, you guys, holy HELL.)

6.       One last song that makes you, you.

Well, this is dumb. A song that makes me, me? Silly. A song doesn’t make me, me. *I* make me, me. My DNA and my amazing brain and my sense of humor and my genetics and my heredity and my insane loyalty and love for my chosen few people and my downright dig-in-my-heels stubbornness and all that crap make me, me. Not MUSIC. Don’t be foolish.

But I came this far, I suppose I have to finish this damn thing. I think this one is asking for my favorite song, isn’t it? It totally is. It’s like a trick. I’m totally going to do something else and move on and think about this and come back in a minute, but you won’t know I did, because it’s the magic of the interwebs, yo.

OK, I have thought and thought and thought. And it can’t be a love song. A love song doesn’t make me, me. That would be about someone else, now wouldn’t it? And it can’t just be something silly, because I’m not always silly, and it can’t be something that just reminds me of my childhood, because I’m not always reminiscing. This is not an easy question. Not at all. (I know some people just throw out answers to these things, but I totally mull. I want them to be perfect.)

I’m going to go with a recent song, but it totally sums me up. It’s summed me up since I found my voice, about twenty years ago, even though the song didn’t exist then. Does it make me, me? I don’t know. I don’t think a song does that. But it’s about as close as I can come to answering this silly question. Company of Thieves’ “Won’t Go Quietly,” which I know I’ve mentioned here a million times. It’s my song. It’s my anthem. It’s what I put on when I need to power up. It’s what I put on when I need to shout. It’s what I put on when I need to center.

So, there. Aren’t I fancy? My six NPR-approved songs. You can totally play along with this game in the comments, or on your own blogs, if you want. But you have to take it seriously and think until smoke comes out of your lovely ears or it doesn’t count. I want to know what your answers are. Oh, and NPR told me I’m supposed to make a Spotify playlist of this and I know once sj told me how to do that but I’m totally technologically backward and that seems like a lot of work and not everyone even has Spotify so just click on the videos if you want to listen, isn’t that good enough? Sure it is.

OH ALSO. I forgot to tell you. When I was driving home from work the other afternoon? I was driving through this little intersection and the cars coming up on my right were all in a weird crooked line and I was all “whuh-huh?” and looked to see why? And it was because there was an OFFICE CHAIR in the middle of the ROAD. And this made me giggle for like twenty minutes. And think of how this could have gotten there. It was up on its wheels, like someone had been sitting there, and just got up for a coffee or something. That they’d be right back. Now, most likely, it just fell out of a car or a truck or something, but I like to think of the less-likely but more-entertaining solutions to problems, like someone just got fed up with work and just roooooollllllled on out the door and then when they got to the intersection they were like, screw this, this is taking too long, and hoofed it from there; or a giant hawk picked someone up from their office chair and carried them that far and then dropped them (how did that hawk get in the office in order to get the person? I don’t know, it just did, ok?) or that it was part of an elaborate hazing ritual for the new office guy, but he was like, nope, I just can’t sit here in oncoming traffic, and therefore he got up and now he’ll have to make Dunkin’ Donuts runs for the next year because he failed the test.

Office chair in the intersection, you guys. OFFICE CHAIR IN THE INTERSECTION!

And I guess this is the aftermath. NO TEXTING AND DRIVING, OFFICE CHAIR!

And I guess this is the aftermath. NO TEXTING AND DRIVING, OFFICE CHAIR!

Off I go. Happy day to you all. Watch out for office chairs in your intersections. And probably also giant hawks, I’d think.

About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

37 responses to “NPR is attempting to break my brain. I think it achieved its goal.

  • Charleen

    I was a music major in college, and I love classical music, but I think the only question here that MIGHT get a classical answer is the funeral one. But, we’ll probably never know for sure, because I’ll probably never complete the survey because it’s too hard (even though, as I type this, my brain is trying to come up with answers… give up, brain, it’s not happening).


  • Samantha

    Who can’t love “Hallelujah”? I mean really! :P

    I like your list. I would probably have severe trouble with this list as well, but maybe I could manage it. It seems to be a fun one to do.

    I completely understand busy. Get some sleep, and we’ll just be that much more excited about your next blog post :P


  • becomingcliche

    I would never admit to what my first song was. And yes, it was a single song. Well, it had a ‘B’ side because it was a 45, but I couldn’t tell you what was on that side of it.


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  • Mer

    Oooh, I want to play! Difficult, but fun!
    1. The theme song to “Ghostbusters” on 45. I still have it in its original Listening Booth wrapper.
    2. SO MANY! How about The Cure’s “Why Can’t I Be You?”
    3. Any song from “Hair, ” “West Side Story”, or any Simon and Garfunkel song.
    4. Pretty much can’t beat your selection; it’s perfection. If I had to try, maybe Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together.”
    5. Leonard Cohen’s “Dance Me to the End of Love.”

    6. This is the hardest one. I have NO idea. No, that’s not true. I think I have too many ideas. My first thought was Madonna’s “Into the Groove,” so I guess I’m going with that, unless you can think of a better one?
    Wishing you all of the fun and rest, too!


    • lucysfootball

      I love this! Thank you! And thank you for the article that spawned all of this!

      And I love your choice for the song that’s you. Anything full of love, life, and laughter – that’s a Mer song. Definitely.

      Working on the rest, and the fun should be soon, I hope! :)


  • handflapper

    I can’t remember the first song I ever bought, but I was probably grown, because we were poor and I never had money as a kid. The first songs I ever got though were for my 8th birthday–Olivia Newton John’s album “Have You Ever Been Mellow”–at the time I was thought that was the most beautiful song in the world and I learned to love all the other songs on the album too, and 45s of “Philadelphia Freedom” by Elton John and “Wildfire” by Michael Martin Murphy. I could listen to “Wildfire” and make myself cry and cry.

    “Good Lovin'” by the Young Rascals! I cannot NOT dance to that song when I hear it, I don’t care where I am.

    Oh, Tammy Wynette was such a big part of my childhood too! My mother was always singing. “Til I Can Make It on My Own.” Lynn Anderson “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden.” Linda Ronstadt “Silver Threads and Golden Needles.”

    Love songs. Ugh. I’m not big on love songs, but I walked down the aisle to Elvis’s “Love Me Tender.” At our engagement party, I had “I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You” played for my husband. He cried.

    Hm. I’m not planning to have a funeral. “If You’re Happy and You Know It” or “Itsy Bitsy Spider” would suit me fine.

    “It’s not Easy Being Green” by Kermit the Frog. I’m not even going to try to explain.


    • lucysfootball

      I’m not planning on having a funeral, either. But my parents insist on it. (I guess they assume they are going to outlive me?) I tell them over and over “IF YOU DON’T CREMATE ME AND THERE’S A WAKE AND PEOPLE I HATE LOOK AT AND TOUCH MY DEAD BODY I WILL BE SO PISSED AND WILL TOTALLY HAUNT YOU GUYS!!!!” and I think it’s finally getting through. Maybe.

      “It’s Not Easy Being Green” might be the best answer to that question yet. I love that. That is perfection. You don’t have to explain. I totally get it. I’m green, too. It’s why I like you so much, probably.


  • Andreas Heinakroon

    No office chairs in the middle of the roads over here. Only a lot of snow and ice. Oh, and giant bloody moose, nonchalantly trotting across the road in front of me. That scared the crap out of me.


  • Andreas Heinakroon

    This one is even more impossible than the last one. I can only really answer the first one, sort of. The first album I ever bought was Beethoven’s 4th symphony directed by Karajan. I still got it, even though it’s a little bit singed.


  • sj

    I have IMMEDIATE answers to all of these. Jeez. This wasn’t hard AT ALL.


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