If you’re going to buy and sell me, you’re in for more trouble than I’m worth.

The weekend is over! Things happened this weekend. THINGS. Here are some things:

  • Opening night happened, a night later due to the blizzard. The blizzard, oddly, had a name. The name of the blizzard was Nemo. When did we start naming blizzards? Is this a thing we always did? If so, why was I not made aware of it? Also, isn’t Nemo an odd name for a storm? NEMO IS AN ADORABLE CARTOON FISH. Not a blizzard. (Also, the blizzard was more bark than bite. Did it snow? Yes. But not as much as they said it would. I think we ended up with maybe 6-8″? Tops? THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID. It made for a messy drive, and I got exhausted cleaning off the car, but otherwise, eh.)
  • That was too long to stay all one bullet point. ANYWAY, opening night happened. It went beautifully. The cast was spot-on, the lights and sound went off without a hitch (she says humbly, at least from the sound point of view) and the minute the cast came out for their bow, the audience gave them a huge standing ovation. I was so proud of the cast, and of friend A., who directed the hell out of that show. Then we had a champagne reception and everyone was so happy and complimentary, and I stayed up super-late and the review came out (not from the paper I review for, but for the other paper) and it was SO SO GOOD. You can totally read it. You don’t even have to pay to read this one. I think that’s because the Times Union has more money than my paper, I don’t even know. I was so excited to see this I texted friend A. in ALL-CAPS. ALL-CAPS TEXTING!!!
  • So after the show I stayed up way too late because there was a new Saturday Night Live but I might as well not have because both the host AND the musical guest was Justin Bieber and I JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE BIEBS. What is the appeal of this boy? Really? He’s not overly talented. I mean, he seems nice enough, but he’s just a kid with a pleasant, vaguely-female face. And he wasn’t even all that funny. Mostly he just kept looking vacantly around during the skits. I think he was trying hard, but it wasn’t really hard enough. But teen girls are INSANE about this kid. I just don’t get it. I just don’t. I guess I am too old?
  • Then I went to bed and at first I could not fall asleep because I was way overtired but guess what happened? I SLEPT FOR EIGHT STRAIGHT HOURS. I didn’t even wake up once. I woke up in the same position where I crashed out. Like I was a dead person. I woke up and looked at the clock and went OH HOLY HELL. It felt AMAZING. Then sj told me I’d really slept for 5 years, not 8 hours, and be careful when I went outside, because there were flying cars now. That made me laugh and laugh.
  • Then we had our matinee, which also went very well. And then I went out and bought a burrito for dinner as a treat and now I am watching The Walking Dead and then I will go to bed and attempt to get close to 8 hours of sleep AGAIN tonight, and won’t that be grand? Yes. Yes, it will.

    ZOMG, there is a badass Daryl Dixon meme. I approve. I HAVE MISSED YOU MY WONDERFUL DARYL!

    ZOMG, there is a badass Daryl Dixon meme. I approve. I HAVE MISSED YOU MY WONDERFUL DARYL!

  • Oh, at work on Saturday, at the answering service, some woman called all up-in-arms that her apartment complex hadn’t cleared her parking lot. I explained that we couldn’t page maintenance for that, because – per the apartment complex, in their OWN WORDS – “the clearing of snow is not an emergency that maintenance needs to be paged for.” She went BALLISTIC. “Do you know how much money I pay for this apartment? Do you know how much money I have in the bank? I COULD BUY AND SELL YOU. You are REQUIRED to call maintenance if I tell you to. YOU ARE MY EMPLOYEE. You are FORCING me to LIVE IN MY CAR. You will LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TALK. Don’t you DARE speak when you’re being spoken to.” Yep. This is the kind of thing I get at work, yo. I ended up hanging up on her after just repeating to her over and over I couldn’t help her per her complex and she’d have to take her complaints up with them when they opened again on Monday. “YOU WILL BE FIRED FOR THIS!” she screamed. Well, maybe, I don’t know. But probably not. I mean, it’s not OFTEN people are fired for following the rules of their jobs? But maybe. So I just told her “I’m sorry, there’s nothing more I can do for you, and this is fruitless for both of us, so I’m going to hang up now. I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more assistance.” She was still screaming when I hung up. Happy, happy, joy, joy. (SIDE NOTE: I pay half of what she does for the place that I live, but my maintenance people were clearing my lot when I woke up on Saturday. The whole lot was almost completely clear when I left. So I guess all the money in the world can’t buy you a parking spot, Lady McRicherson. Hope you liked sleeping in your Caddy. I know I enjoyed sleeping in my nice warm bed. Also, have fun buying and selling me; I don’t think you’ll make much. I’ve been used and abused, and most of my internal organs are either missing, just don’t work, or are completely broken and I don’t think are going to bounce back, so I can’t be worth more than about $1.27.)
  • Also, I bought a ticket to go see Stephen Sondheim talk at one of our local colleges in May. I AM GOING TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS STEPHEN SONDHEIM. I’m kind of hyperventilating about this right now. STEPHEN EFFING SONDHEIM YOU GUYS.

Tomorrow and Tuesday I’ll be at the theater again – we have auditions for our next show – and then I actually get to come HOME on Wednesday and Thursday! Well, I have to go grocery shopping one of those nights, and laundry the other night, but after that, HOME HOME HOME! It’s gotten to the point that when I come home, Dumbcat goes into a fury of happy. MOM MOM MOM YOU ARE HOME MOM! he says in his cheerful furry way, and then follows me around like a puppy, making chirpy meows like a bird-cat. Then if I actually get two seconds to sit on the couch, he curls up to my leg as if it is the best thing ever and purrs SO SO HARD. Also, earlier today he sneezed in my face. I think that might be the grossest. Why would your cat do that to you? MEAN.

This was supposed to be a music blog, wasn’t it? I was totally planning on posting about a music thing. I guess that will have to be tomorrow because it’s already getting late.

OH! Here is a story called “earlier in the week I was very sleepy.” So on Saturday I got dressed half-asleep and cleaned off the car and went to work. And after a few hours I went to the bathroom. As one does. And I was all, “why are these the most itchy underwear? These underwear are really itching me.”

BECAUSE I WAS WEARING THEM INSIDE OUT.

Yes. I went to work with inside-out underwear. Now, I probably could have fixed them, but it seemed like a lot of work to take off my big snow boots and pants and such in the grubby work bathroom and fix them so I totally went through my entire day with inside -out underwear. And every time I went to the bathroom I just looked sadly at them and said to myself, “this is really a total sign that you have just given up. You have completely and totally given up right now.” AND I DID NOT EVEN CARE ENOUGH TO FIX THIS SITUATION. IT WAS TOO MUCH WORK.

SO CHEERFUL! I was not this cheerful, but I was resigned about the situation.

SO CHEERFUL! I was not this cheerful, but I was resigned about the situation.

You will be pleased to know that my undergarments are on correctly today. And are much less scratchy since the lacy bits are right-side out, not wrong-side in.

They tell you the side-effects of not enough sleep are trouble concentrating, crankiness, forgetfulness, uneven motor skills, things like that. They do NOT tell you that you might space out and put on your panties inside-out and then just not have the energy to rectify the situation. I think there should be a PSA about such a thing. I mean, this would scare the kids, you know? Make them not as apt to stay up all hours partying and such? I mean, INSIDE OUT UNDERWEAR, you guys. This is not a laughing matter.

(The internet told me if you wear your underwear accidentally inside-out, you will have an especially lucky day. I didn’t. So therefore, your superstition is invalid. I TESTED IT. IT IS NOT TRUE.)

Also, I have read ALL the books over the past week; time in the light booth gives you plenty of time to read. Kindle-books and tree-books. We will discuss the pros and cons of both in a future post. All I know is, I read and read and read this week. I finished three books and am well on my way to finishing a fourth. Being able to read again? An absolutely amazing feeling. Just a brilliant one. Getting lost in a book was something I’ve been missing so much. And honestly I need to be getting lost in book-world, because I’m not having the best time in Amy-world at the moment, so it’s nice being in book-world. I’d almost forgotten that aspect of reading, and the main reason I did so much of it as a younger-me – it lets you not be you for a while. Thanks, books.

Two more days of theater hell, then only two more brief weekends of it. I’m the little engine that could right now. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

32 responses to “If you’re going to buy and sell me, you’re in for more trouble than I’m worth.

  • sj

    I am laughing so hard about your undies.

    The best parts were the emails. “I keep surprising myself that they’re inside out, but I really just don’t feel like fixing them.”

    “sj, they’re still inside out. I HAVE GIVEN UP!”

    Like

  • becomingcliche

    Angry Nemo meme made my day. So glad the show went so well.

    The lady in the snowy parking lot may be the proof that karma really does exist.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I won’t say I HOPE she slept in her car…but hell, I hope she slept in her car.

      Thank you! Despite setbacks, it really was a great opening weekend. And we will now rock the second and third weekends! Weather permitting!

      Like

  • Anonymous

    Oh, I am sooo disappointed that I am not your neighbor because I would totally and completely try out for your theater! Especially if they didn’t require headshots that were all that recent because my most recent headshots are … um…. the early 90s. And I do not look like that any longer. Those days = past.

    I am sorry that the rich lady was so entitled. I plan on being the opposite when I am a rich lady. I will be humble and I will never threaten to buy and sell you. Because so creepy! Yuck.

    My Irish aunts don’t think you get good luck from mistakenly putting your clothes on inside out. You get BAD luck from turning them rightside again once you’ve put them on the wrong way. It’s preventitive.

    I WANT TO SEE THIS SHOW! And now I think I will pout. But it is not attractive, so I won’t do it for long because I need all the help I can get. ;)

    Like

    • Anonymous

      Why am I anonymous? I am not anonymous, WordPress. I’m Em. Yeesh.

      Like

    • lucysfootball

      You COULD try out for our theater! And we do NOT require headshots. We take a photo of you ourselves. Just a little one, for our files, because it’s easier to cast (especially big shows) with a photo of the auditioner to look at.

      I will ALSO be an excellent rich person, and donate a lot of money to worthy groups. I already do that NOW, and I am a POOR person, sheesh.

      Wait, if I’d turned my panties around, my luck would have gotten bad? Well, I’m glad I gave up, then!

      I’m sad you can’t see the show, too. And I tried to make a video from my phone, but I’m too far away in the light booth. Grumble. It’s wonderful, and I’m so proud of everyone involved!

      Like

      • 35JupiterDrive

        You would be an AMAZING rich person! I know this! And I would have no problem with having a pic taken. Dang. I want to do this. It sounds fun.

        Yes, that’s the Irish thing. Or at least, my aunts’ thing. If you do this accidentally my GOD DO NOT TURN THEM AROUND! I think the Devil may notice or something. Not sure, but probably. The devil is a busy.

        Like

  • The Waiting

    I heard that the Biebs was on SNL. This is just proof to me that the kids are getting lazy. Back in my day, we had to WORK to make musicians sexy. I had a crush on Eddie Vedder for crying out loud. It took some legwork for me to make him dreamy.

    You are hilarious. ;D

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      He looks like a ladypants! I mean, a pretty ladypants, but still! One of my friends said she thinks the girls crush on him because he’s nonthreatening. Well, hell, when I was younger, I liked a little threatening in my crushes. It made ’em dangerous and more crushworthy. Sheesh.

      YOU are ALSO hilarious! And thank you!

      Like

  • Krysty

    “I can buy and sell you” is the funniest thing ever.

    Like

  • handflapper

    Pretty sure that lucky day thing works only if you ON PURPOSE wear your panties inside out. Not accidentally. So your research is invalid.

    We saw that Bieber was on SNL and kept on going. We watched Castaway, which I have mentioned in a previous comment. Younger Son came in and said, “Oh, this is the part where he such-and-such” and we both yelled, “Shut up! We haven’t seen it!” and he was all, “This movie came out in 2000. How have you never seen it?” and I was all, “Well, Ferris Bueller came out in 1986 and I had never seen that either until this morning,” and he was all, “That movie is older than I am and I’ve still seen it!” but Younger Son prides himself on being a very self-educated and enlightened young man when it comes to popular culture, whereas I wander around with my head jammed up my ass most days.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      You have to wear them inside out on PURPOSE? Well, who would do that? Weirdos would, I think.

      I like Castaway. And Ferris Bueller. And your household, which I think should have a sitcom written about it. It would be a million-dollar idea, a sitcom about your household. Someone should do that. Like, immediately.

      Like

  • Heather

    At least you didn’t put your shirt on backwards…or wear your slippers to work…or brush your teeth with hand soap. I mean, that’s never happened to ME, but I hear all of them can be quite awful. :/

    Like

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