I’m attempting to blog from my Kindle. This might be disastrous. Also, I might miss a cue. I’m making the director nervous. I’m so not paying attention fully.
The show is going well and is lovely. This is our first full dress rehearsal. We have one more, then pay-what-you-will Thursday, then opening night. Eeee! Exciting, right?
Yesterday at tech funny things happened, like the purchasing of do-rags (and the incorrect wearing of them) and many giggle-inducing moments. One actor’s hat was too small. “He looks like a fat Zorro,” friend A. said. Today he has a new hat. I miss fat Zorro. He was like a cartoon.
It was kind of like this, only a cowboy/Zorro hat. Google image search is not being at all helpful. This is like fat military guy and that’s not at all as funny as fat Zorro.
Also, a very bright blue light was installed in the booth; friend A. and I can’t look at it or we risk burning out our retinas. I told the costume designer I was going to come in wearing body glitter; in this light, I’d look like a Twilight vampire. Bite bite bite emo bite.
OMG, maybe it’s not a blue light, maybe it’s EXTRATERRESTRIAL IN ORIGIN. Eep!
And someone here believes everything here can be repaired by shooting canned air into it. I’ve been saying that for everything that goes wrong. Actor drops a line? Canned air. Broken prop? Canned air. Costume doesn’t fit? Canned air. Too-small fat-Zorro hat? Canned effing air, baby.
Or maybe he has a huffing problem, I didn’t even think of that. Heh, “Blow Off.”
Today, I brought the car to the shop. For four hours. And $700. Things I got for my money: two new tires, new rear brakes, new transmission gasket and pan, various labor. That seems like a lot, yeah? It’s more than my monthly rent, yo. And the catalytic converter is still borked. That needs fixing soon, too. And will be $700 more dollars, huzzah!
(Autocorrect on the Kindle changed that last word to “Guzman” for some reason; I spent ten minutes silently snort-laughing about “And will be $700 more dollars, Guzman!”)
Luis Guzman, autocorrect? Do you mean Luis Guzman?
It is now the next day. It took me most of the night to hunt-and-peck out about 250 words on the Kindle. That…seems like not the best way to be blogging, yo. I only screwed up one sound cue terribly, and in a funny twist, it wasn’t even when I was blogging. ALSO, the Kindle is very good for reading in the light booth; I am very pleased with this purchase. AND, I did make you a video of rehearsal, but it is too far away and too small and very quiet so I will not post it here. I can’t figure out how to zoom on the iPhone camera. I was easily able to zoom with my Android phone. Why is this so difficult, iPhone, I ask you? Hmm? I sent it to Andreas (WHO, by the way, I will be meeting in LESS THAN A MONTH) and he said it was very hard to see and hear. Then I was able to watch it today and he was very right. So, no. You cannot see it. Sorry. It is not indicative of the good work the cast is doing over there.
(DUH ME. I just researched it and NOW I know how to do it. I’m…technologically challenged, leave me alone already.)
I do wish you could have seen fat Zorro, though. I am giggling just thinking about that right now, and it’s been like 48 hours.
This is half the length of a me-post, but I don’t know when I’ll get to blog again, so at least it’s SOMETHING. I’m going to see American Idiot tonight and then reviewing it for the paper, and then one more dress rehearsal, then pay-what-you-will (which is also final dress), then opening night. Send me break-a-leg vibes! Also, send me stay-awake vibes, I’m totally exhausted!
February 5th, 2013 at 11:50 am
The Guzman bit had me giggle-snorting.
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February 5th, 2013 at 6:06 pm
It is by far the best autocorrect yet. Mostly they’re just nonsensical but this one actually worked, in a weird way.
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February 5th, 2013 at 11:50 am
I totally forgot to comment that I couldn’t see or hear the video either. IT WAS SO DARK!
I am laughing very hard at Luis Guzman. VERY HARD.
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February 5th, 2013 at 6:05 pm
Oh, boo. Maybe now that I know how to zoom it will be better. But it will still be quiet, because there’s no zooming on sound. And we don’t mike our actors because it’s a really small theater.
GUZMAN! I WANT MY $700!
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February 5th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
Canned air is magic. It’ll fix a number of problems with electronic devices. Not sure about dropped lines though.
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February 5th, 2013 at 6:04 pm
I’ll email you the canned air story since it’s…well, mean to someone. Who deserves it, but still, I’m not a COMPLETE asshole. It’s funnier if you know the whole story.
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February 5th, 2013 at 12:14 pm
I’m glad you’ve got new brakes and tyres. Brakes and tyres are all but essential for a safe and comfortable automobile ride.
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February 5th, 2013 at 2:05 pm
ANDREAS! You spelled “tires” wrong! TWICE! What is wrong with your scientific-y mind today????
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February 5th, 2013 at 5:52 pm
Brakes as well, although I’m wondering if it was purposeful. :)
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February 5th, 2013 at 5:58 pm
Brakes was a mistake, which I fixed. He will be so embarrassed! He HATES to spell things wrong! IT IS OK, ANDREAS, YOU ARE STILL THE BEST!
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February 5th, 2013 at 10:28 pm
I’m absolutely mortified! I don’t know how I’ll be able to show my face here ever again. (Although I guess I just did, didn’t I?)
I will stand by my tyres though. And petrol. Because I was born in Europe and not in the USA. (But I will soon be in the USA – squee!)
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February 5th, 2013 at 10:30 pm
You’d better show your face, I’d miss you so much I’d have trouble breathing. And I do so like to breathe.
I totally squeed audibly when I read your last sentence. IT IS SO SOON, ANDREAS!!!!
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February 5th, 2013 at 10:37 pm
In that case, Madam, I shall. I’d prefer it if you were breathing.
I know! It’s just a few weeks away!
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February 5th, 2013 at 10:38 pm
*checks* Yep, still breathing, as far as I can tell.
I have three weeks of shows left. The weekend after we close? I GET TO SEE YOU!!! That’s like no time at all from now!
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February 5th, 2013 at 11:50 pm
OMG, Andreas squeeed! I am so jealous of you two, by the way. GREEN.
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February 5th, 2013 at 11:53 pm
You are coming, too. Everyone is! I am going to FORCE myself to take a million photos and document everything and tweet and blog and such so all of the internet can bask in the glory of ANDREAS IS IN AMERICA!!!
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February 5th, 2013 at 11:57 pm
Still jealous. And your last comment is all wonky and doesn’t have a reply button after it. So I have to reply down here, at the end. WTH, WordPress?
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February 6th, 2013 at 7:35 am
Why no reply button? Sometimes WordPress hates me, I swear!
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February 5th, 2013 at 6:02 pm
He’s from Yerp. Well, Scandinavia, I think that would be actually classified. So that’s Yerp-adjacent. That’s how they tyre it up over there. They also buy petrol. PETROL! This makes Dad very upset for no reason at all.
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February 5th, 2013 at 6:47 pm
I know that, silly Amy. I was making a dumb Merkin joke.
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February 5th, 2013 at 6:50 pm
Very tricky! Because you’re a SMART Merkan!
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February 5th, 2013 at 10:31 pm
Very true.
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February 5th, 2013 at 10:35 pm
Scandinavia is part of Europe. (As is Britain, even though they don’t like to acknowledge that.)
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February 5th, 2013 at 10:37 pm
I have to be careful not to offend anyone. I called Scotland part of Europe once and someone did NOT like that.
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February 5th, 2013 at 10:41 pm
Hah! No, they wouldn’t. It totally is, though. And also part of Britain. For now.
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February 5th, 2013 at 6:03 pm
I can’t even tell you how smooth the ride has been since the brakes were fixed. I didn’t know I was having brake issues, but apparently I was, because now when I hit the brakes, I just GLIDE to a stop. It’s marvelous.
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February 5th, 2013 at 1:18 pm
Maybe Guzman is the one who is supposed to foot the bill? Maybe auto-correct knows the name of your fairy sugar-daddy?
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February 5th, 2013 at 6:02 pm
Ooh, good. Yes. Wonder if autocorrect knows when he’ll be here with a huge wad o’money?
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February 5th, 2013 at 7:08 pm
I think that’s a question for Siri.
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February 5th, 2013 at 10:32 pm
Siri hates me. I was playing with her this weekend (not a euphemism) to show a friend what she could do and she was USELESS. Wait, I’ll ask her this question right now.
She interpreted it as “when will my sugar daddy be here with a big water of money” and said “would you like me to search the web for ‘when will my sugar daddy be here with a big water of money?” I sighed. And told her not to bother.
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February 5th, 2013 at 2:13 pm
The iPad also blows for blogging. Not that I would know, seeing how I haven’t blogged anything in months. It is good for blog reading but not so much for commenting, especially for dumb Blogger blogs where you have to log into something like Disqus just to make a stupid comment. Doesn’t work at all. Everyone should use WordPress, right? I would be much more likely to comment.
I wish I could see your play, but I might ruin it by guffawing inappropriately at fat Zorro.
Autocorrect just put a space between “in” and “appropriately”. It’s been doing that a lot lately. What the hell, autocorrect? “Inappropriately” is a perfectly correct, as you well know! Quit fucking with me!
Whoa! That time it turned “inappropriately” into “inappropriate lot.” What. The. Hell.
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February 5th, 2013 at 6:01 pm
He won’t be fat Zorro anymore, since the costume designer fixed his hat. Now he’s Normal Sheriff. And that’s sad, because I loved Fat Zorro. He was my comic relief. It’s a very heavy play. It needs comic relief sometimes.
I’d never dealt with Apple’s autocorrect until I got the iPhone. Now I see why people complain. Good gracious, does it ever try to put very stupid words in my mouth.
YES. Everyone should use WordPress. It annoys me, commenting on Blogger blogs, because they won’t accept my URL.
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February 6th, 2013 at 12:56 am
Wait, you have to log in to something on Blogger blogs? Only if the person who owns the blog has checked to reject anonymous comments. I accept them, so you don’t have to log in for me. (It’s so much less irritating to simply play hall-monitor with comments and ask to see their passes.)
Also, I keep thinking it meant Guffman. And that would make a huge giagantica amount of sense.
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February 6th, 2013 at 7:34 am
Well, if you want your name to show up (and a link to your blog, if you’re a WordPress blogger) you can’t use the anonymous option – and you can’t use the WordPress option, even though it’s there, because it doesn’t work for some reason – it says your blog address is invalid. The only ones that do work are the Open ID (if you’ve signed up for that) or the name/URL link, but your pretty WordPress icon doesn’t show up with your comment.
I thought of Guffman, too! Then I decided I needed to see that movie again, because it’s been too long!
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February 7th, 2013 at 2:20 pm
If you break a leg, then you’d stay awake, right? ;-)
Good luck surviving the upcoming week! We’ll understand if we don’t see too much blog-ness.
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February 8th, 2013 at 7:26 am
Thank you!
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