As you read this, I am hopefully either sleeping or eating waffles or hanging out with friend C. AND eating waffles, which really would be the best solution all-around.
Like a month and a half ago (sorry, I’m not…the most timely) Tony nominated me for a Liebster Award. Because I am curious like a cat, I had to look up what that means. And the ANSWER is that “liebster” means “dearest” in German. So I totally won a Dearest Award, yo. Aw, I like that, it makes me feel all cuddled, like I am a Dumbcat sleeping next to my own leg.
Anyway, so you know how I feel about awards. They always make you do things like nominate OTHER blogs. And I can’t DO that. Because then you’re leaving someone out, and then people’s feelings get hurt, and I’m totally kind of a bitch sometimes and I won’t even deny that, but I don’t LIKE to hurt people’s feelings. Like, sometimes I have to do it, but I don’t ENJOY it. So I always have to respectfully decline awards. Even adorable ones that are called dearest in a foreign language.
(I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you’re reading this on my site, look to your right. That’s my blogroll. If you want to read some of the things I read on a regular basis, please click on some of those links. They’re all the blogs I recommend, because I read them myself. I curate that list on a regular basis and I don’t like to lead you astray by recommending you read something I don’t, or written by someone I can’t recommend to you. I’m actually strangely anal about it. WHAT NO NOT YOU AMY! So, yeah. There. Read those people, they’re wonderful. Thank you thank you.)
Tony said some very nice things about me. I will return the favor. Tony is intelligent and wise; he writes beautifully, and thoughtfully. I’m so pleased to work with him at Insatiable Booksluts and I’m so glad we’ve gotten to know one another on Twitter. Thank you, Tony. I’m honored to have been awarded the award, even if I’m the jackass who can’t really accept it because of the feelings-hurting-thing.
Also, I’m supposed to tell eleven facts about myself. Eleven? Sheesh, I don’t know eleven facts. I can tell you eleven lies like they’re no big deal at all but FACTS, good GRIEF.
Fine, I’ll try to come up with eleven facts. You probably already know them, though, it’s not like I hide much around here.
- I once owned a boa constrictor. His name was Jack and he was a red-tailed boa. I gave him away when I moved back to New York. I fed him mice. NO NOT LIVE MICE. Little known fact: you don’t feed snakes live mice, because the mice could hurt your snake. You feed them FROZEN mice. Which you keep in the freezer. With your ice cream. And sometimes they scare your friends when they come over, so that’s funny.
- My first concert was New Kids on the Block. I was 15. I went with my first boyfriend, his mother, and his sister. He attempted to kiss me in the backseat on the way home and his mother was all “NO NO NO! NO KISSING! THAT IS NOT ALLOWED!” and so THAT was embarrassing. Also his mom was kind of crazy and one time asked me to tell her daughter about puberty and her daughter and I just stared at each other HORRIFIED at this prospect.
- I like board games. A lot. I just never get to play them, because Dumbcat isn’t very good at moving pieces around a board.
- I am boycotting Walmart and Price Chopper. They know what they did.
- If allowed, I would eat an avocado every single day. Unfortunately, they’re kind of expensive.
- I used to have a billion plants and lived in an apartment with a sunroom in the front of it and the whole place was sunny and cheerful. I now live in a dark cave of a place and have two plants that are on the way out. How the mighty have fallen. (Also, Dumbcat eats plants if I leave them low enough for him to nibble on. Hence the death of some of the plants. Sigh, sigh.)
- The other day, someone at work said I was really quiet, and that made me laugh in my head until I almost pretend-choked. FACT: I am not at all quiet, I just don’t like talking in work meetings. Because I feel like everyone’s looking at me and that makes me want to vomit on the industrial carpeting.
- When I was in high school, I was doing community theater as well as high-school theater. At the same time. Somehow, this didn’t seem insane to me. I think about it now and wonder how I didn’t either say the wrong lines on the wrong stage or break down weeping from stress.
- When I was young, my brother and I convinced my dad to let us bring a cat home that we found at my aunt’s house. Dad loved us so he let us. That cat stayed with us long enough to have kittens and then ran away, so we kept her kitten and had that cat forever and a day. He got as fat as a basketball with legs and when he slept his legs would all stick up in the air and that made me laugh because he was like a cartoon.
- One of my favorite places in the whole world is the ocean. I love where I live, and don’t ever plan on leaving, but oh, do I love the ocean. Can we move the ocean here, please?
- Making this list has exhausted me so I’m going to go to bed now. Oh, that’s not really a fact. FACT: I like to get as much sleep as possible because sleep is where I get to be an AMAZON WOMAN with NO WORRIES OR CARES.
Thank you, Tony! I appreciate the charmingly-named award, even if I can’t pass it on. Happy Saturday, everyone!