Fact: making lists of facts is harder than it seems.

As you read this, I am hopefully either sleeping or eating waffles or hanging out with friend C. AND eating waffles, which really would be the best solution all-around.

Like a month and a half ago (sorry, I’m not…the most timely) Tony nominated me for a Liebster Award. Because I am curious like a cat, I had to look up what that means. And the ANSWER is that “liebster” means “dearest” in German. So I totally won a Dearest Award, yo. Aw, I like that, it makes me feel all cuddled, like I am a Dumbcat sleeping next to my own leg.

Anyway, so you know how I feel about awards. They always make you do things like nominate OTHER blogs. And I can’t DO that. Because then you’re leaving someone out, and then people’s feelings get hurt, and I’m totally kind of a bitch sometimes and I won’t even deny that, but I don’t LIKE to hurt people’s feelings. Like, sometimes I have to do it, but I don’t ENJOY it. So I always have to respectfully decline awards. Even adorable ones that are called dearest in a foreign language.

(I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you’re reading this on my site, look to your right. That’s my blogroll. If you want to read some of the things I read on a regular basis, please click on some of those links. They’re all the blogs I recommend, because I read them myself. I curate that list on a regular basis and I don’t like to lead you astray by recommending you read something I don’t, or written by someone I can’t recommend to you. I’m actually strangely anal about it. WHAT NO NOT YOU AMY! So, yeah. There. Read those people, they’re wonderful. Thank you thank you.)

Tony said some very nice things about me. I will return the favor. Tony is intelligent and wise; he writes beautifully, and thoughtfully. I’m so pleased to work with him at Insatiable Booksluts and I’m so glad we’ve gotten to know one another on Twitter. Thank you, Tony. I’m honored to have been awarded the award, even if I’m the jackass who can’t really accept it because of the feelings-hurting-thing.

Also, I’m supposed to tell eleven facts about myself. Eleven? Sheesh, I don’t know eleven facts. I can tell you eleven lies like they’re no big deal at all but FACTS, good GRIEF.

Fine, I’ll try to come up with eleven facts. You probably already know them, though, it’s not like I hide much around here.

  1. I once owned a boa constrictor. His name was Jack and he was a red-tailed boa. I gave him away when I moved back to New York. I fed him mice. NO NOT LIVE MICE. Little known fact: you don’t feed snakes live mice, because the mice could hurt your snake. You feed them FROZEN mice. Which you keep in the freezer. With your ice cream. And sometimes they scare your friends when they come over, so that’s funny.
  2. My first concert was New Kids on the Block. I was 15. I went with my first boyfriend, his mother, and his sister. He attempted to kiss me in the backseat on the way home and his mother was all “NO NO NO! NO KISSING! THAT IS NOT ALLOWED!” and so THAT was embarrassing. Also his mom was kind of crazy and one time asked me to tell her daughter about puberty and her daughter and I just stared at each other HORRIFIED at this prospect.
  3. I like board games. A lot. I just never get to play them, because Dumbcat isn’t very good at moving pieces around a board.
  4. I am boycotting Walmart and Price Chopper. They know what they did.
  5. If allowed, I would eat an avocado every single day. Unfortunately, they’re kind of expensive.
  6. I used to have a billion plants and lived in an apartment with a sunroom in the front of it and the whole place was sunny and cheerful. I now live in a dark cave of a place and have two plants that are on the way out. How the mighty have fallen. (Also, Dumbcat eats plants if I leave them low enough for him to nibble on. Hence the death of some of the plants. Sigh, sigh.)
  7. The other day, someone at work said I was really quiet, and that made me laugh in my head until I almost pretend-choked. FACT: I am not at all quiet, I just don’t like talking in work meetings. Because I feel like everyone’s looking at me and that makes me want to vomit on the industrial carpeting.
  8. When I was in high school, I was doing community theater as well as high-school theater. At the same time. Somehow, this didn’t seem insane to me. I think about it now and wonder how I didn’t either say the wrong lines on the wrong stage or break down weeping from stress.
  9. When I was young, my brother and I convinced my dad to let us bring a cat home that we found at my aunt’s house. Dad loved us so he let us. That cat stayed with us long enough to have kittens and then ran away, so we kept her kitten and had that cat forever and a day. He got as fat as a basketball with legs and when he slept his legs would all stick up in the air and that made me laugh because he was like a cartoon.
  10. One of my favorite places in the whole world is the ocean. I love where I live, and don’t ever plan on leaving, but oh, do I love the ocean. Can we move the ocean here, please?
  11. Making this list has exhausted me so I’m going to go to bed now. Oh, that’s not really a fact. FACT: I like to get as much sleep as possible because sleep is where I get to be an AMAZON WOMAN with NO WORRIES OR CARES.

Thank you, Tony! I appreciate the charmingly-named award, even if I can’t pass it on. Happy Saturday, everyone!

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

23 responses to “Fact: making lists of facts is harder than it seems.

  • becomingcliche

    Is that a photo of your actual snake? It’s beautiful!

    We keep our rats in the freezer, and sometimes people open the freezer door and see little feet sticking out from under the ice cream.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      No, I don’t know that I even have any photos of Jack! I found that one online. It was as close to his coloration as I could find. He was smaller – I got him as a baby from the exotic pet store where I worked – and he was beautiful. And very sweet. He would curl up around my hand or arm and just hang out.

      I had mice in the freezer for a long time. People learned to keep an eye out when they went into my freezer for food.

      Like

  • sj

    WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL THE BEST PART OF THE NKOTB STORY?!?!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      That whole relationship was insanity. That’s also the boy that told everyone, once he dumped me, that we’d had all the sex, when in actuality, he didn’t even know that you were supposed to use tongue when you kissed and he never even tried to feel me up. He was an embarrassment to life, really. Also, he never got his growth spurt and I believe is 5’4 to this day. I WIN HEIGHT, YOU LYING BASTARD!

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    You’ve had a boa constrictor? For real? Ok, I’m officially impressed. And not just a little bit envious. I’ve ALWAYS wanted to have a boa. And a tortoise. And a chameleon. And an octopus. And some bats. Fruit bats would do. I’m not unreasonable.

    (My cousin had a series of boa contrictors when I was but a wee lad. They were the coolest. When he was in a good mood he would sometimes let me carry a boa around my neck out to the playground. My friends would be SO impressed. Unfortunately he later stopped keeping snakes and got into heroin and other drugs and eventually OD:ed.)

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I did! I also have had gerbils, mice, hamsters, and all manner of fish and frogs.

      Ooh, someday when I have my animal rehab barn and house in the woods when someone gives me or I win a million dollars, you can come and have all those animals. Well, I don’t know about the octopus. Where would we keep that octopus?

      That is a very sad story about your cousin. I promise my snake-keeping did not lead to injectible drugs. I don’t like needles. Or drugs, really.

      Like

      • Andreas Heinakroon

        Why, you keep an octopus in an aquarium, of course. A nice big salt water aquarium.

        It was sad what happened to my cousin. And he was on the mend as well, and had stayed away from drugs for almost a year. But then he went to see some old friends in Stockholm, and somehow ended up taking some heroin again. He took his usual dose, not realising that he was no longer used to it and that his body had lost its resistance. He lost consciousness, stopped breathing and never woke up again.

        Like

  • mfennvt

    I wish the ocean was a little further inland, too. Although that would probably be bad for everyone in between. :(

    Like

  • Heather

    I have been boycotting WalFart since 2008. That company is the Epitome of Evil (that’s what I actually call it when I’m not calling it WalFart). Blah.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I’ve been boycotting them for a very long time, too. Sadly, it’s not for any good reason; once, they were rude to me when I shopped there, and also I like Target better. Sadly, they do have excellent prices. I just shop elsewhere whenever I have the option to do so. Because ONCE they were RUDE to me. And I am a child about such things. Heh.

      Like

  • Tony Bird

    Aww, thanks for saying all the nice things about me! :)

    Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    Also, which ocean? There are several, you know.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I’ve only seen the Atlantic and the Pacific. The Atlantic I’ve seen more than the Pacific. I love them both. I like the noise. I find it very restful. And I like to look at the ocean. It relaxes me somehow. And I like the water coming up over my feet. And finding shells and rocks. And just walking for hours. It’s one of my favorite places ever. It’s like meditation for me, being at the beach.

      Like

  • Krysty

    I must number the things I want to say because I might get lost.

    1. I am deathly afraid of snakes! Couldn’t even open nature books if I knew there’d be a giant picture of a snake. But your post reminded me of a scary Bones episode (well not the whole episode, just the cold open). The victim of the week was found dead in her apartment and her pet snake was missing (it was a big one and the cage was smashed). They couldn’t find it so they just brought the corpse to the lab. When they were about to autopsy the body it started moving AND THE SNAKE BURST OUT AAAHHHHH
    (sorry)

    2. I am ashamed to say I live in a country where avocadoes are overflowing but I hate them. I really truly cannot eat avocadoes.

    3. Ocean! Again. The country is surrounded by water and there are magnificent beaches here but I can’t even take my shoes off because I am afraid of the invisible flesh-eating worms in the sand.

    4. I love that picture of Wonder Woman. *sigh* Have you been reading the rebooted comics? It’s great.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I love snakes! Well, not bitey ones. But constrictors I’m cool with. I only watched a couple episodes of Bones early on, and then got bored. And I feel kind of bad, because Angel is in it.

      A lot of people hate avocadoes! I think they’re a love or hate thing.

      There are flesh-eating worms in the sand? Really? Eek!

      I haven’t read any Wonder Woman comics! I’m in the middle of four series of graphic novels right now, though (Fables, Buffy, Locke & Key and The Walking Dead.)

      Like

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