Oh, say can you see my eyes? If you can, then my hair’s too short…

It’s been a crazy week. Finally calming down now. I did ALL the things! All of them. Every last one. I know. It’s impressive.

Now I can relax a little and breathe and enjoy my real weekend that’s coming up soon soon soon. AND, in news of AWESOME, on Monday, which I have off because I work at an amazing place that gives actual holidays off, possibly for the first time in my LIFE, thank you new job that I love more and more every day and also MERKA for giving me a holiday on Monday, I will be hanging out with THE NEPHEW! His mom said he was asking about me the other day! I AM SO EXCITED! We will have some sort of adventure. I get to see their new house, and hang out with my favorite little guy. I’m very excited and totally counting the days. NEPHEW ADVENTURES! HOLIDAYS! I might just be so excited I’m flapping my hands all around like a looney.

Just in case you need your daily dose of the cutest little guy in the history of ever, here’s The Nephew and his very first snowman.

There might be cuter photos in the world, but I don’t know of them AND I DON’T WANT TO. Look at that FACE! SO HAPPY! I cannot wait to see him again!

ALSO, tonight, I treated myself to a real haircut. Well, I mean, my other haircuts in the past weren’t FALSE haircuts. They HAPPENED. But they were at Supercuts. Now, I’m not running down Supercuts. It’s fine, and you can get a haircut in like twenty minutes for about $20. So that’s nice, especially for busy poor people.

But it’s not like they do anything GOOD with your hair. You have a choice of “I’d like a trim” or “shave my head” or “give me a mullet” and that’s about it. And you kind of have to go in knowing what you want, because it’s not like you can trust them. You don’t know those people.

Or NOT every time, just when you're poor. Really poor.

Or NOT every time, just when you’re poor. Really poor.

So I’ve been going to the same stylist for years and years to make my eyebrows less scary. YES! It is TRUE! I have insane scary eyebrows. Left unchecked, I look like a crazyperson. I’m not even exaggerating. I’ve seen old photos of myself before I started getting them done and I say, “Oh holy hell why didn’t anyone TELL me I looked like that, my friends should be yelled at.” My stylist is wonderful and funny and affordable and I don’t trust anyone else in the world to make my eyebrows look like a normal person’s eyebrows. If your eyebrows look normal without upkeep, you are a lucky human. Thank your genetics.

I was trying to find a photo that looked like my "before" eyebrows but found this instead and now I'm just confused.

I was trying to find a photo that looked like my “before” eyebrows but found this instead and now I’m just confused.

So the last time I was there, I thought, I need a haircut. Everyone who leaves after having her do their hair looks not only beautiful, but happy. I’m totally going to splurge and have her do my hair. Because listen, I’m totally serious about this, I haven’t gotten a haircut in a year. A YEAR. That sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s the most true. The last haircut I got was last January. I remember and everything. It’s not like I’m haircut-averse, per se. I just don’t bother. I have other things to do. Plus my hair just does what it wants, so why bother, you know?

So I made an appointment with my lovely stylist and then she moved to a new salon and left me a panicky message all “You’re still coming, I hope?” and of course I was. I’ve followed her to two different salons, I’m happy to move to a third one as long as she’s there.

The new salon is FANCY, yo. They offered me a BEVERAGE. I felt like the time I got accidentally put in first-class on an airplane and I was all, “these cookies are all for me? this hot towel is for me? This whole big bottle of water is all for me?” because I am country mouse in the city. Always and forever.

Then I got fancy haircut. She said, “What do you want to do?” and I said, “I don’t know. What do YOU want to do? All I want is to keep most of the length, because I love how long it’s gotten. And something easy, because mostly I’m lazy. Otherwise, I trust you.”

She liked that a lot. That’s why she’s the best, because when I say “go to it,” she does. If you say that at Supercuts, you might walk out looking like a mental patient who got left alone in a room for twenty minutes with a Flowbee.



First she was all, “your hair has some natural curl to it. Let’s do something to enhance that.” Then she played with it a little more, and decided that no, she wanted to give it a blowout to see what THAT looked like. I was just along for the ride. I had never had anyone that excited about my unruly hair before.

So she put in pretty layers and blowdried it for a billion years (yeah, that’s…not going to happen in my life, that seems like a lot of work) and then taught me pretty things I could do with it involving twists and curls and bobby pins and mousse. These are things that I might or might not try at some point. I’m fairly lazy, hair-wise.

ANYWAY, I paid less than I probably should have for all that magic (YES, I totally gave her a tip, she works SO HARD and she’s a kickass single mom and I love her so much and she’s such a hard worker) and then I came home and just stared in the mirror and swung my hair around like a shampoo ad.

What’s that? You want to see? YOU TOTALLY CAN. (Well, if you follow me on Twitter or are my friend on Facebook or are my cat, you already did, but if you are just a PERSON, you can see NOW.)

Pretty and shiny and smooth! LIKE A BUSINESSLADY!

Also, I like this photo, it looks like I have a secret. I totally do, too. MULTIPLE secrets. NO, I won’t tell you what they are, then they wouldn’t be secrets, now would they.

And now I have to go to bed, because it is late late, and I have to go to work tomorrow and do work-things. As I do.

I’ve totally knocked a bunch of things off my to-do list over the past few weeks, I feel very accomplished.

Happy weekend, everyone! Enjoy, do many things, be happy, be safe, be brave, be fearless, love your faces.

(You totally win imaginary prizes if you got that the title was from the titular song of the musical Hair. ALL THE IMAGINARY PRIZES. Since they’re imaginary, dream yourself something awesome, yo. Also, hee, “titular.”)

About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

26 responses to “Oh, say can you see my eyes? If you can, then my hair’s too short…

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