…the status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.

sj alerted me to this and I do not approve. (Of the story, not of sj. I approve of sj most wholeheartedly.)

Apparently, there is a website called WND. I didn’t know it existed, either. Don’t feel bad. “WND” stands for World Net Daily. They find news and then tell you about it from a conservative viewpoint. Oh, I know about this! It’s called Fox News. Dad fills me in on this every day. I’m totally up on the conservative viewpoint and the mockery thereof. It’s both fair AND balanced, you guys.

So WND (I keep wanting to call it WWD and wonder where the fashion is, yo) decided the latest person they hated is – ready for this? Neil Patrick Harris.

NO NO NO. That is NOT ALLOWED.

See, I don’t know if you’re aware? But NPH is gay. YES IT IS TRUE FACTS! He is married to a lovely man and they have adorable twins.

He’s also a talented actor, onstage and in movies and on television, and seems, in interviews, to be a very well-spoken, intelligent, and interesting person. He also sings and dances beautifully and is very, very funny. Seriously, his hosting stint on Saturday Night Live made me laugh until I almost choked. If stupid nbc.com played nice with WordPress I would show you. Instead, here’s a link. And another. (First link is NPH doing this Doogie Howser musical thing – I can’t even explain. Roommate C. and I were in TEARS of laughter. And second link is NPH doing a Broadway skit. Both are worth the click, promise.)

PLUS, come ON, how many actors are happy to make fun of themselves in a stoner movie?

“Yeah. It was a total dick move on my part. That’s why I’m paying for your burgers.”

AND AND AND! Come on. JUST COME ON. He was in the BEST INTERNET MUSICAL EVER!

“Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage?”

THE MAN IS A NATIONAL TREASURE.

So anyway, NPH did the following ad for the Superbowl:

And WND said NO NO NO! This is EVIL! HE IS MOCKING OUR HERO, LORD, and SAVIOR!

I have nothing against Tim Tebow, but apparently the Christian right has decided he’s their spokesperson? Worrisome. I think you already HAVE a spokesperson. JESUS. My mom told me that and I have to believe her, as she is my mom.

So! By wearing this crap on his face with the dates on it (apparently this is called “eyeblack”, who knew) NPH is “…pushing a gay agenda …and…mocking Christians at the same time.”

OH! Is THAT what he’s doing! Well. Isn’t THAT a whole bunch of things to be doing all at once like that, how very multitasky!

(Also, if you want to see a cross-section of super-awesome humans? Read the comments on the WND post. OH MY OH NO. “REPENT REPENT!” says the very first one. Um. You repent for gaybashing, I’ll repent for whatever it is you’re judging me for, bub.)

Shit. Well, if NPH is too gay for the Superbowl, then so am I. I AM SPARTACUS. I’m totally boycotting it this year.

What’s that? I boycott it every year because I refuse to watch it because it’s sports and I hate sports and this is really not a BOYCOTT, per se, if I’m doing something I would do ANYWAY and just SAYING it’s a political statement?

Well. Aren’t YOU judgey. That’s very rude of you. Huff, huff.

(For the record, guess who can enjoy sports? Gay people. Straight people. People with no legs. People with two heads. People with red hair. People who wear too many gold chains. People who like their pizza with black olives. People with penises. People without penises. People with both penises AND vaginas. Tall people. Short people. Fat people. Skinny people. People who wear sweaters with kittens on the front. People who like dairy. People who are lactose-intolerant. In short: ANYONE AT ALL.)

There’s no gay agenda. Well, no, I take that back. There’s totally a gay agenda. The gays (yes, I’ve talked to all of them) would like the following:

  • to be treated like productive members of society, no matter who they love
  • to be given the same rights as everyone else
  • to not be beaten up for who they love (or called names on the street, or given dirty looks, or be made to feel unsafe in any way)

That’s pretty much it. I don’t know if three bullet points make an “agenda.” I mean, I’m on a board of directors. We have more bullet points than that on our monthly board meeting agendas.

Listen. I don’t care about a lot of things. But if you don’t like NPH, at least a little, I think your heart might be dead. He is just pure joy, this guy. He isn’t furthering ANYTHING. He’s the star of one of the biggest shows on his network. I bet half or more of the people who watch his show don’t even KNOW he’s gay. He doesn’t even play someone gay ON the show. And the photo above is from a promo clip on his network, who would be stupid not to use one of their most recognizable faces for publicity purposes.

That’s it. That’s the agenda. His network wants people to watch the Superbowl; they used one of their resources to get people to do so. I don’t think they were mocking Tebow. Little known fact: people were using that eyeblack shit before Tebow came along. IT IS TRUE.

Dear WND: please to be getting a life. You make me sad and also angry. You are small-minded and hateful people and at some point you have forgotten that we’re all human on this rock in space and there’s no room for that kind of thinking because it’s 2013 and we don’t need to put up with it anymore.

In short, WND, feel most free to bite me. Grow the hell up.

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

24 responses to “…the status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.

  • sj

    HEE! HE IS A NATIONAL TREASURE!

    It’s impossible to not love NPH. Like, seriously, impossible.

    This made me so angry when I read it, and of course I know that he’s your favourite, which was why I had to share. SPREAD THE OUTRAGE AROUND!

    I love that Gay Agenda image. Dude, that’s a busy ass 2 o’clock hour! I am srsly impressed with the multi-tasking.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      That gay agenda is a top-secret document. I almost lost my life getting it out of their very well-guarded and color-coordinated compound.

      He IS a national treasure, but not like that terrible Nicholas Cage movie.

      You always send me the BEST articles. And NO ONE is allowed to hate on my NPH! It’s not even legal in most states, I don’t think!

      Like

  • Words for Worms

    I love love love NPH. I dislike zealotry, conservative Christian or otherwise. Personally, I think Jesus gets annoyed that his most fervent followers are so angry all the time. Also, I think Jesus is a huge NPH fan. I mean, come on. NPH’s very existence would be impossible without divine intervention. That much awesome doesn’t happen by accident, y’all.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I totally agree. I think if Jesus were to come back today, he’d be so pissed at his “loyal” followers – and they’d crucify him all over again. Not even kidding. Because he disagreed with them.

      NPH is the MOST awesome. He’s made of rainbows and unicorns and shininess.

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    It’s time for another ‘Make Andreas angry’-post? Already? Didn’t we have one yesterday? *sigh* Fine. I’m angry. I love Neil Patrick Harris.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      SORRY! No more for a bit. Promise. Ok, maybe one next week, it’s in the works. SORRY IN ADVANCE!

      You’ve seen “Dr. Horrible,” right? I know you love Buffy, so you’ve seen “Dr. Horrible,” too?

      Like

  • Beth Johnson (@ladypembroke)

    Ahahahaha… I LOVED the Broadway skit. I never watch SNL so thank you for that link. (The Doogie one was cute, too, but too short to kill me in the same way, although I did love it.) How anyone can possibly hate NPH is beyond me. I’ve had a crush on him since Doogie, and I don’t care that he’s gay. So lame. Those people obviously have too much free time on their hands.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      He is WONDERFUL. I don’t know how anyone can hate him. He does nothing hateworthy! If you’re hating on him because of who he sleeps with…well, maybe that’s an issue YOU have? I don’t see how that’s any of YOUR business, people who write for the weird internet website!

      Like

  • Charleen

    I love NPH. He’s amazing.

    I’d see the Broadway skit before, but not the Doogie Howser one. That was one of the best things ever. One of my favorite clips of him is from one year that he hosted the Tonys, and he and Hugh Jackman do a thing together: http://youtu.be/LqJxyuTMMog

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I’ll have to watch that when I get home from the theater tonight! I wonder if I saw that – I think I did – is it the one where they keep trying to one-up each other? He’s really the best Tonys host. He’s so intelligent and funny and watchable!

      Isn’t the Doogie thing so awesome! The single tear!

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    Oh boo. Those links only work for proper Merkans. That’s discrimination or something.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Oh, dammit, Andreas, I was worried about that. NBC.com and Hulu never work for Elaine, either. And they’re not on Youtube. Hmm. I wonder if I filmed them with my iPhone and emailed you the film that would work. Will investigate.

      Like

  • Hallie

    Don’t worry, WND writers are not going to a nice place in the end. (Sadly I will be there too, throwing lava at them all, instead of snowballs.)

    Like

  • Emily @ The Waiting

    I’ve already put NPH down as the caretaker of my child if something ever happens to us. True story.

    Like

  • 35JupiterDrive

    I am totally the lesbian version of NPH. So completely.

    Um. what? Not so much? Never mind.

    YOu know, we never get around to the 2:00 stuff on our agenda because brunch runs over and someone says, oh hell, just one more mimosa and we all clink glasses and the next thing you know, it’s 3:00, which everyone knows is the time for manicures.

    Like

  • becomingcliche

    You make a really good point. When we put a human (such as Tebow) on a pedestal, we’re setting ourselves up for a world of hurt. People are fallible. When he falls (and he will. I’ll point you back to that bit about him being human and fallible), so many people’s faith will be rocked because HE SINNED! Seriously. We all sin. Even the “good” guys. Christ is the one we’re supposed to follow.

    To add on to that last sentence, Jesus was pretty serious about loving one another. When asked what the greatest commandments were? Love the Lord your God. Second. Love your neighbor as yourself. Where is the disconnect?

    Why are we taking our pet beliefs and turning them into salvation issues? Talk about promoting an agenda.

    *stepping down off my soapbox before I fall off*

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      It makes me sad that people that claim to be so Christian aren’t actually following the teachings of Christ. “Love your neighbor” being the biggest one of those not being followed. I truly feel Jesus would be majorly disappointed in this. (And possibly knock some heads, like he did in with the moneychangers in the temple. I KNOW! It’s impressive I know that. I might play a heathen on TV, but I have 17 years of church under my belt and totally taught churchschool to little malleable minds in my younger days!)

      Nowhere in the Bible did Jesus say, “Love your neighbor as yourself, unless he’s gay. Or of a different skin tone. Or religious or political belief. Or wears sandals with socks.”

      Unless that’s in a Bible released since 1992, because that’s when I took my leave of organized religion.

      Like

  • Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd

    Beyonce did the same thing, too, with the text on the black stuff under the eye when she announced she’s the halftime show. Pushing her Diva Agenda, OF COURSE.

    Like

  • Kris Rudin

    Oh brother. CBS is having ALL their stars wear the eye black with the writing, not just NPH. It wasn’t his idea, even. Some PR person at CBS came up with it, duh. So they are all pushing their evil, non-Tebow agendas??!? *sigh*

    Like

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