What do you want to be?

“When you’re drowning you don’t think, ‘I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I’m drowning and come and rescue me.’ You just scream.” –John Lennon

I did this last year. I’m not going to do it again this year; I’m happy with how it turned out last year, and I honestly don’t have anything else to say that I didn’t say last year.

Every year, December 8 hits, and every year, I get a mean case of the blues. It’s not like I don’t know it’s coming and it’s not like I can avoid an entire day. Well, I suppose I COULD, but I have to go to work and live life and such. It’s generally frowned upon to drop off the map for 24 hours, I suppose.

I guess I would have the blue meanies, then. These things always freaked me right out.

I guess I would have the blue meanies, then. These things always freaked me right out.

So instead of me repeating myself, you can just read last year’s post (for the first time, some of you, and again, if you want, the rest of you, I suppose) and I’ll just give you three Beatles songs to listen to. I don’t know if they’re my favorites, but they’re the ones I’ve had in my head for the past couple of weeks. (A secret about me? I almost always have a Beatles song rolling around in my head. Even if I’m thinking or doing or singing something else. True story.)

And what’s funny is, every time one of these songs pops up, not just these, but the others, so many beautiful others, and starts rolling around in my head like a snowball getting bigger and bigger – it’s like a whole new song. But it’s not a whole new song. It’s me that’s changed. The song stayed exactly the same, waiting for me to get to the point in my life where I was ready for it to mean this exact thing for me. I love that. I don’t know that there are too many other bands, or even musicians, that do this for me. Which is probably a failing more in me than the music, but that’s really neither here nor there, now is it?

Then I will give you two things that will make you giggle. Because we all need a laugh now and then. I know I do, today.

“You know I can’t sleep, I can’t stop my brain
You know it’s three weeks, I’m going insane
You know I’d give you everything I’ve got for a little peace of mind”

This has been my song for months. It’s gotten better since new job started, but I still have “can’t stop my brain” nights. And I often would give everything in the whole world for a little peace of mind. It’s the curse of those of us who can’t turn our brains off. Brains don’t come with off-buttons.

“How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?
Now that you know who you are, what do you want to be?”

I listened to this one a lot in high school. A LOT. But I wasn’t this person then. And then just recently, I listened to it again and this line just knocked the air right out of me. Because I do know who I am now. And this is giving me permission to figure out what I want to do with that.

I don’t know that I’ll ever be one of the beautiful people. But knowing who I am is so much better than that for me, anyway. Suck it, beautiful people.

“I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me…”

This song, man. The melancholy in this song gets me every time. This one’s been in my head a lot lately. It does that. It goes away and comes back and I’ll get “this bird has flown” circling around my mind and it’s like the swallows coming back to Capistrano or something.

Aw, hi, little swallow.

Aw, hi, little swallow.

There. Those aren’t the happiest songs ever but I’m pretty sure you’re all internet-savvy enough that if you want something happier, you know how to YouTube it yourself. I have every faith in you. (I don’t have anything against happy songs. They’re just not in my head today. I’m sure I’ll get something more upbeat all up in there any day now.)

I promised you cheery, didn’t I? I don’t like to lie to you, my little tater tots. Here, I found these things for you. They should take some of the sting out of the terrible waste of the day that is today.

Apparently, someone (or multiple someones, I don’t know) have been taking Beatles pictures, captioning them with Mean Girls quotes, and things like this happen (which is going to only be funny for those of you who know/love Mean Girls, sorry, Ken, I think you’re out of this one…unless you’re going to surprise me with “Amy, I’ve SO seen Mean Girls” like the time you surprised me with your extensive knowledge of Pauly Shore’s tour de force, Son-in-Law):



Click the link up there for more. Again, I don’t know how many Mean Girls-slash-Beatles fans you’re going to find in the world – seven? I’ve made up that number and that number is seven – but they’re kind of oddly entertaining for the seven of us there are.

Then I found this one, and…um. HAND CROTCH SLACKS!

Apparently years ago Yoko Ono made a men’s wear line for men built like John Lennon, and now it’s being sold. These pants are only $335. And they come with a HAND. Right on the crotch-area! Which is handy (heh, handy) if you wanted to give someone some direction as to where to grab, I suppose. Or if you wanted to say, in an understated way, “I’m a huge douchecanoe.”

There are other things. You should click the link. Highlights are a thing you wear around your neck that looks like a sandwich board made of Plexiglass with bells on it and a pair of slacks with a mesh cutout in the ass-area. I don’t know, either.

It’s nice to know that good old Yoko is still kooky and thinks of things like hand crotch slacks.

I’m going to listen to some Beatles music now and be a little sad. It’s December 8. That’s what I do today. Love your faces. Thank you to my people who save me when I’m drowning. I wouldn’t even have to scream. Please be nice to each other, everyone, ok? Every day, but maybe just a little more today? Thanks.

About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

8 responses to “What do you want to be?

  • becomingcliche

    Seems like the hand should be facing the other direction, or is that just me?

    Hugs and hugs times a million! No blues for you! I refuse to allow it.


  • sj

    So, I did go and read your post from last year and now I’m trying not to cry in front of my kids. What a beautiful tribute!

    I’m sure you already figured this out, but youngest son is named after a Beatles song.

    I have other stories, but I’ll tell them some other time.

    Just know that I adore you and I adore these posts. <3


    • lucysfootball

      I was hoping that you would. That was pre-sj-times. I’m so glad you liked it.

      (Your kids have the BEST names. Have I mentioned that? Because it’s true.)

      I adore YOU right BACK. Funny how perfectly that worked out, right?


  • 35JupiterDrive

    I can’t even describe how much I love the article about Yoko’s clothes.


    I was a John girl too. Until I was a girl girl. But that was in a faraway place. Musician, poet, dreamer who wanted to change the world and have us be better people?

    Yes please.

    I needed this quote today: “The more real you get the more unreal the world gets. ”
    ― John Lennon

    Every creative on earth needs this:
    “People like me are aware of their so-called genius at ten, eight, nine. . . . I always wondered, “Why has nobody discovered me?” In school, didn’t they see that I’m cleverer than anybody in this school? That the teachers are stupid, too? That all they had was information that I didn’t need? I got fuckin’ lost in being at high school. I used to say to me auntie
    “You throw my fuckin’ poetry out, and you’ll regret it when I’m famous, ” and she threw the bastard stuff out. I never forgave her for not treating me like a fuckin’ genius or whatever I was, when I was a child. It was obvious to me. Why didn’t they put me in art school? Why didn’t they train me? Why would they keep forcing me to be a fuckin’ cowboy like the rest of them? I was different
    I was always different. Why didn’t anybody notice me? A couple of teachers would notice me, encourage me to be something or other, to draw or to paint – express myself. But most of the time they were trying to beat me into being a fuckin’ dentist or a teacher”
    ― John Lennon


  • sunraeny

    That magical mystery ride was always my absolute favorite ride too!!!!!


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