Well, here I am back from my first day of work at my new job. In good (and perhaps surprising) news: I did not do anything upsetting, embarrassing, or potentially fireable on my first day of work. No tripping, falling, saying anything out of line or geeking out completely. I KNOW. I was totally on my best behavior.
It’s probably poor form to compare one’s last full-time job to one’s brand-new and amazingly shiny full-time job, especially on the very first day, but today I couldn’t help but compare the two first days.
At my last job, on the first day, they sat me down and just walked away. No one told me what to do. At one point, someone wandered over and asked why I wasn’t photocopying some work that was sitting in a bin near my desk. “I didn’t know I was supposed to,” I answered. “Well, we’re going to need you to take a little more initative than THAT,” they replied, and walked away disgusted. (In my defense, the papers were just sitting there. How I was supposed to know they were there for photocopying and not shredding or scanning or even retyping is beyond me. Still.) My coworker trained me on the binding machine and then left; when it broke, I had no one to ask for help. At one point, a group of coworkers got together and told me it was the worst possible place to work ever; management hated the clerical staff and treated them like garbage, and no one was happy, and please get out before I was OLD and still WORKING there like they were and did.
It was the very definition of a fine how-do-you-do. I remember coming home and telling my roommate at the time, “I hate that place. I hate it so much. I guess I should just be happy it’s a job, but I hate it there.”
Needless to say, it didn’t get much better over the years. The six-and-a-half very long years.
The way you start something sets the tone for the rest of the experience, I think. It’s like that annoying “you never get a second chance to make a first impression” saying? Which, yes, annoying, but it’s kind of true. I mean, I have some friends that I got off on a bad foot with (bad footing? how is that best said?) and we turned it around, but a lot of the time. we’re creatures of instinct, as much as we’d like to think otherwise. Our first impression of someone/something means a lot. And if you walk into a job where they immediately show you they don’t want you there, and you’re kind of worthless to them, well, you’re going to take that with you. You’re going to ponder on it in your heart. And if you’re Amy, you’re going to ponder on it possibly the entire time you’re there, because the last time I forgave a slight, either real or imagined, was…um…never. That would be never.
Now. Let’s talk about my first day at this job.
They welcomed me joyously. Everyone said hi and when they introduced themselves, their smiles went all the way to their eyes. People seemed genuinely happy to be there. There was a desk all set up and waiting for me with office supplies and a computer and my own WALLS and my own CLOSET and my own DESK DRAWERS. My own NAME TAG on my wall. With my own NAME on it. A GIFT from my BOSS, WELCOMING me to the COMPANY. I’m pretty sure they all thought I was soft in the head because I was reacting to all of these things like someone raised by wolves, or one of those kids you hear about whose parents raised them unspoken to and unreacted with in a cupboard or something. “This is MINE? This is MY CLOSET? This is MY COATHANGER? This is MY STAPLER? I get to SIT HERE? And do this WORK? And hang out with you guys? OK I WILL DO ALL OF THIS I LOVE YOU! Look how close our printers are to our DESKS! Look how we have a water fountain! Look at ALL THESE SHINY THINGS!” And then sometimes I might have gotten secretly teary and pretended I had allergies.
I had a little basic training today (not like in the ARMY, silly) and tomorrow I really get to it. Today was mostly signing papers. SO MANY PAPERS. Healthcare and if I die, who gets my money (Dad, of course, and when I told him that, he was all, “Oh, well, that means I AM YOUR FAVORITE. Oh, wait, don’t die, though, of course”) and 401(k) and all those good things. I signed my name so many times it started to look like gibberish. (It already looks like gibberish, though. I have a very scrawly signature. I learned that from Dad. “You sign so no one can copy you,” he advised me when I was about sixteen and still signed my name all bubbly and adorable and full of hope and legible. “That way, no one will steal your identity or write checks in your name someday when you have a checkbook.” Then years later he saw my signature and he was all, “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?” because he forgets things and I said, “You, Dad. I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU” and he was just confused by my excellent use of pop-culture references.) I also got a very official nametag/security badge thingy with my face all on it with a LANYARD. Do YOU have a lanyard? I thought not.

Well, no, I didn’t get a BATMAN lanyard. Now I kind of want one.
Then I read a million manuals (I get lots of time off. That is a thing I learned. Also a lot of holidays. But cannot go home for Christmas this year, because vacation time doesn’t start until January. I’m surprisingly ok with this; this job is really all the Christmas present I need) and learned all about parts of my new job and had some lunch and BAM it was time to go home. Just like that! My first day done! It was so fast and it was awesome and I had a really good time and I’m honestly really looking forward to tomorrow! I KNOW, have you ever HEARD such a thing? Looking FORWARD to work? I KNOW! This is not the Amy you are used to! A satisfied Amy? A HAPPY AMY? I know you’ve heard talk of this upcoming apocalypse, PERHAPS THIS IS ONE OF THE SIGNS.
Don’t worry. My snark-bone (heh, bone) is fully intact, thank you very much. And honestly, I could use some happy; it’s been a tough haul for a while. Mostly just work-wise. Other things have been awesome. Having a job where I’m happy…plus a life where I’m happy…well, who knows what I could accomplish with all of that? It’s enough to make someone’s head explode. In a shower of glitter and sheer awesomeness.
OK, precious peanuts, time to finish this up and head off to bed because I have to admit, last night not a lot of sleep happened. TOO EXCITED TO SLEEP. Like the kid in the Disney commercial. Love your faces. Thanks for sticking around through the suck. Happier times ahead, I’m thinking. Let’s see how that goes. I have no precedent, so I’m not sure what to expect. UNEXPECTED HAPPINESS!
December 4th, 2012 at 11:52 am
YAYAYAYAY! I’m so happy this was so awesome for you! Seriously, so glad this job seems like it’s going to be the most amazing and just exactly what you need. <3 you!
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December 4th, 2012 at 6:16 pm
I LOVE YOU!!!!
I want to give you a huge hug for all the supportiveness. You’re so getting a super-surprise giftbox one of these days once the money starts pouring in. POURING IN!!!
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December 4th, 2012 at 6:43 pm
Aw, silly Amy! Friendship doesn’t require gifts! Just having friends is gift enough (I know you feel the same way, but seriously, I never thought I’d have a circle this big when I was a kid).
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December 4th, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Oh, I know. But I LOVE giving gifts. And I have SUCH GOOD IDEAS! :)
But you are a gift, and don’t you ever forget it, lady.
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December 4th, 2012 at 11:43 pm
WELL BRING ON THE GOOD IDEAS, THEN! <3
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December 5th, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Oh, I am keeping them under WRAPS. But wait til January when I have enough money for shopping! (CHRISTMAS IN JANUARY HOORAY!!!)
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December 4th, 2012 at 12:32 pm
The Beatles were great, weren’t they? Lousy pun in the band name though.
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December 4th, 2012 at 6:15 pm
They are SO great. I was thinking about them on the drive home tonight, actually. Sometimes I like to think of some of their songs I don’t hear very often and get all nostalgic. Like “Baby You’re a Rich Man.” Why don’t I hear that more often? Why doesn’t anyone love that as much as I do? Is there something wrong with it, do you think?
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December 4th, 2012 at 12:42 pm
Happy ‘First day at the new job’-day! I’m so happy for you my face is starting to hurt from all the smiling.
And even though your dad and I see so many things differently (measurements, currencies, names for cyclic carbon compounds), for once I agree with him fully: don’t you dare die.
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December 4th, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Aw! I’ve been doing a little more smiling than I’m used to, as well! My creaky old smile-muscles are not used to the workout!
I told Dad about the liters of petrol tonight. He said, “THEY DO BUY PETROL OVER THERE! AND I THINK THEY SPELL IT L-I-T-R-E-S!” This was VERY distressing for him.
Don’t worry. You’re stuck with me, bub. I’m around for a good long while yet.
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December 4th, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Yay! So happy for you and your new job!
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December 4th, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Thank you! I’m just so happy. I’m OBNOXIOUSLY happy!
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December 4th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Yay Amy! I’m so glad you enjoyed your first day at work!
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December 4th, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Thank you! :)
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December 4th, 2012 at 1:46 pm
I am so-so-so-so-so excited and happy for you! One day I will have a shiny new job with shiny new co-workers. Great first days are simply magical.
“You! I learned it from watching YOU!” I picture creepy mustache and shocked/hurt expression. I always wondered if he was the guy from the Electric Company.
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December 4th, 2012 at 6:03 pm
But you work at the zoo! I hope the zoo is still ok? Wait – you’re still at the zoo, right?
I don’t think Dad knows about that “I learned it from watching you” commercial. Then again, he doesn’t remember things that happened a month ago, so expecting him to remember something from twenty years ago is really too much to ask.
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December 4th, 2012 at 7:10 pm
I work very part time at the zoo, not like the full-time fun gig I had before Squish was born. I’m starting up a new, weekly thing there. One day I will be full time again.One day.
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December 4th, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Ooh, can’t wait to hear about the weekly thing! That sounds like fun!
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December 4th, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Heh heh…you said ‘bone’.
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December 4th, 2012 at 5:59 pm
I have to admit, that might have been about 85% for you.
The other 15% was for me, because I’m not COMPLETELY selfless.
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December 4th, 2012 at 9:16 pm
YAYAYAY! So happy for you. I agree, the first day really does set the tone. I recall the first days of every job I’ve had, and the next few years lived up to the very first day there. So best wishes for many many happy days to follow!
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December 4th, 2012 at 9:49 pm
I can’t wait to see you guys again (at your NEW HOUSE!) and tell you all about it! Soon soon, I promise! Next month, maybe? MISS YOU!
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December 5th, 2012 at 7:22 am
I am so happy for you! It sounds like you have many more wonderful days coming up. =)
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December 5th, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Thank you! I hope so – this week’s been great so far! I’m waking up looking forward to work, can you even imagine? :)
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December 5th, 2012 at 9:09 pm
I can’t imagine. I am insanely jealous of you! =)
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December 5th, 2012 at 10:01 pm
NO NO! Your job is good, too, isn’t it? All’s ok? *worries*
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December 6th, 2012 at 7:44 am
There is so much change going on in education. Arizona just cut another kabillion dollars from education. This group of kiddos are so entitled– I actually had a student tell me that I was disrespectful to him because I turned his desk around to face the wall when he wouldn’t stop talking– after I had politely asked him multiple times.
Mostly, though, I think I am just exhausted. I’ll probably feel better after winter break. I hope.
Thank you for asking.
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December 6th, 2012 at 7:10 pm
Oh, boo. I’m so sorry to hear that. Sending good thoughts for your winter break. And DOUBLE boo for entitled kids – that would make me furious. I can’t even imagine.
I want to give you a hug and a cup of coffee.
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December 6th, 2012 at 9:49 pm
I have felt the virtual hug and just had some yummy coffee. Thank you, my friend.
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December 7th, 2012 at 7:36 am
You’re welcome. You have my email – if you need to vent, send me a note. Anytime. I mean it.
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December 7th, 2012 at 5:43 pm
Will do. I’ve been disappearing as I deal with stuff. Maybe I need to not disappear so much.
Wait… Isn’t this supposed to be about you? YAY AMY FOR HER AWESOMENESS!
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December 7th, 2012 at 7:50 pm
Aw, poo, the whole thing’s about me. I’m always happy to make it about you.
Disappear as you need – but know we’re here when you need, too.
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December 7th, 2012 at 9:01 pm
I never thought that my blogging friends would be more supportive than my real life friends. They don’t get it and think I am mad at them. I’m glad I have you. =)
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December 7th, 2012 at 10:56 pm
Yep, understood. I think internet people understand better, because we’re all dealing with a lot of stuff. The internet attracts those of us with stuff. (And honestly? Give me a person with stuff any day. Those well-adjusted people can bite me. I don’t understand ’em.)
I’m glad I have YOU. Be well, my lovely friend. Sending you all the good thoughts. Every last one.
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December 5th, 2012 at 8:58 am
Three cheers for good employers!
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December 5th, 2012 at 7:11 pm
YAY! They are good, too. I am LOVING it there!
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