Failing at time zones. And also mathing.

Howdy, Tuesday, how YOU doin’? Good? Good, then.

This week is another week of craziness in Amy-town. Many many hours at work. But that’s good, because listen, even though I’m working like a maniac, when I got paid this week, I was able to pay almost every single bill this month and – AND, are you ready for this? – HAVE MONEY LEFT OVER. I know! It’s strange and exciting territory. I’m not 100% sure what I’ll do with that money. I should probably save it for Christmas. I think Christmas has officially been cancelled, though. There’s no way I can do it to the extent that I want to, and I’m not good at Christmas-lite. Christmas-lite seems like a lie. I’d rather boycott it altogether. Mom was all “AMY! I need a Christmas list from you PRONTO!” (yes, my family still does Christmas lists) and I told her she had to wait until the end of the month because that’s when I would decide what was happening with Christmas in Amy-land. Two more weeks to decide. Sometimes I put off decision-making for a very long time. It’s never a good idea but I’m a total procrastinator when it’s a hard decision I don’t want to make.

But there’s a nephew, and he still needs a Christmas. He’s too little to understand boycotting Christmas. So there might be only a Christmas for my one and only beloved nephew. That’ll be ok. The kid loves presents. His eyes get all big and he says, “For ME?” and you can’t even process the cute. You absolutely can’t.

Anyway, we have some catchall things to discuss today because I’ve been putting some things off and then tomorrow we’ll have some uproarious hilarity. Today I have the day off because today is your yesterday because I LIVE IN THE PAST or maybe the future, I don’t even know.

Oh, SPEAKING of not even knowing, I’m terrible at time zones? Like, the MOST terrible. Which sucks, because I have people living in other time zones. For a while, it was only BFF. And that was bad enough. But NOW I have people living on other CONTINENTS and they don’t even live in the same TIME ZONES as each OTHER so I’m constantly having to do mind-math to figure out what time it is there and if they’re sleeping or at work or, hell, I don’t know, eating a cookie, whatever it is they’re doing. Last night on The Amazing Race there was this whole TASK where the contestants had to figure out Russian time zones and sj and I were watching together as we like to do and we like to pretend that we’re competing in the Race together? We’d lose the racing part, we’ve decided, but we’d love the traveling and the thinking-parts. And checking in with Phil and his eyebrow.

So I was all “SJ. I would LOSE this. I NEVER KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS ANYWHERE.” And she was all, “I am the BEST at this. I would do this Roadblock for us so we would win.” And I was like “No, seriously, I’m constantly all ‘what time is it in Finland +7 SO MUCH MATH'” and then she laughed and laughed at me and said, “You know there’s this site called World Clock, right? I will make you one.”


LOOK LOOK! It has all my people I love on it! BFF and my own time zone (also sj and Susie’s) and Elaine and Ken and Andreas! NOW I ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS IN PLACES!!!

OK, listen, I know probably you’re better at mathing than I am (everyone is, even elementary-school children), but I can never ever remember what time it is ANYWHERE. And then time zones change or whatever and I am flat-footed lost and thinking it’s 4 when it’s 6 or whatever. THIS DOES MY MATHING FOR ME!!! And sj says that when Daylight Savings Time happens, THIS WILL CHANGE TO REFLECT THAT FOR ME!

This is like those fancy clocks you see in banks where you always know what time it is in major cities only it’s RIGHT ON MY LAPTOP and I am SO EXCITED I CAN’T EVEN.

Shh, it’s the little things, jellybeans. THANK YOU SJ I ADORE YOUR FACE.

OK, don’t you worry, I have more things to talk about than clocks. No, I totally do. NO I DO.

Today (I think it’s today? I hope so, I’ve been waiting til today to post this) friend R. moves away, and I am both happy and sad about this.

Happy because she is moving to something wonderful, and a whole new opportunity and a whole new life and onto something she will love so much, and sad because I JUST MET HER AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND WILL MISS HER LIKE A CRAZYPERSON.

Friend R. and I worked together until recently at the answering service, and at first I thought, I cannot be friends with friend R., because she is SO NICE and SO CALM and she will never want to be friends with me because I am the opposite of those things. But Friend R. was very very patient and kind and also very funny and warm and she TOTALLY wanted to be friends with me! Which was nice and always surprises me when that happens. (And probably always will.) Friend R. makes me want to freak out and cuss less because she is so calm and nice and sweet. (That makes her sound boring. SHE IS NOT BORING. She is WONDERFUL. She is a GOOD INFLUENCE.) It was nice to have her at work, especially on Saturdays when everything’s always so crazy, because when I started getting all frantic and freaked out and most people would be like “STAY AWAY FROM MT. ST. AMY! She’s about to BLOW!” Friend R. would just look at me and say, “Deep breaths, Amy. It’s ok.” And that’s all it would take. She would make me laugh at myself and things would be better. How many people do you know like that? I wish there were more of them. She is a good listener and gives wonderful advice and makes me laugh a lot and she’s super-intelligent and very good at her job and one of the hardest workers I know. And it makes me sad that she’s moving now, because I just got to know her, and we just did our first solo hanging-out thing, and other than I was super-tired so kind of cranky and had a mini-meltdown in the middle of it (SORRY R.!) I think it was not at all a bad time and if she was still living here we could do it again and we would have a good time and also have adventures and wouldn’t that be awesome? Yes, it would. So I will miss her so much. (And I was so hoping the paper would have run the photo of us at Wicked by now so I could show you, but apparently we didn’t make the cut. DAMMIT PAPER! That would have been an awesome photo here. Instead, here is a photo of a sad panda. R. leaving makes me sad panda.)

But she is going to continue working for us from a distance by using a laptop, so I will get to see her virtually that way, and also through the magic of the interwebs and email and Twitter and Facebook and texting and such. And she is moving to a wonderful opportunity to live with people she loves doing something she loves, so I am so, so happy for her and so proud of her, because she’s worked so hard for the past umpteen years to get herself to where she is now.

I will miss you, R.! Best of luck to you, and I can’t wait to hear all about your adventures, and Saturdays at work will not be the same without you there rolling your eyes with me at people’s shenanigans! Have the safest safe drive south and have the BEST BEST TIME in your new life! You deserve every wonderful thing!

And finally, I just want to say a gigantic thank you for everyone who voted for me in the Goodreads thingamabobber. I did not make it through to the final round, but the sole fact that I made it through to the round BEFORE the final round still fills me with all the glee. I love you all to pieces and cannot thank you enough. That my little old book made it to the top twenty poetry books of the year on Goodreads…well, that’s flabbergasting. It’s really amazing to me. Thank you so, so much. I’m not even disappointed. I didn’t think I’d make it as far as I did, anyway, you know? So, thank you. Thank you for getting me as far as you did. I mean it. ALL THE AIR-KISSES TO ALL OF YOU. (And pop on over and vote for The Bloggess’ book while you’re over there, because we want her to win in a landslide! But I am TORN because there’s also a Kevin Smith book in the same category. Sorry, Kevin Smith, I read The Bloggess’ book and have not read yours, I have to vote for her. I STILL LOVE YOU KEVIN SMITH!!!)

This was meant to be a thank you kitteh but this one was funnier. Please forgive.

Happy Tuesday, you beautiful people! Enjoy your day. Listen, it’s November and I’m totally in a t-shirt and jeans today. This weather is GORGEOUS. I love fall so much I want to marry it and have its BABIES.

About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

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