Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone…your vote is never lost.

Well, here we are. Election day. After today, will all the shouting stop? Or just get worse? At least all those political flyers will stop getting stuffed into my mailbox, right? That’ll be nice. There’s not enough room in there for all those flyers and I just have to throw them away anyway. Such a waste of treeeees.

Stop wasting us for GARBAGE!

I guess I don’t have to tell you I’m petrified about what’s going to happen today. Well, today/tomorrow. It might be tomorrow until we know who wins, I suppose. I didn’t know who won in 2008 until I woke up the next morning. Then I collapsed on the couch and wept and was almost late for work and then everyone I worked with was SO PISSED ALL DAY LONG because I worked with a billion conservatives. So I had to pretend I wasn’t in the throes of the biggest relief ever and maybe just coming down with the flu or something.

This year is WORSE. So, so much worse. If I thought I was scared of the what-might-be 4 years ago, I’m utterly petrified this year. I know I’m all jokey about going to live with Andreas in Finland but I can’t even imagine living in a country run by a Romney/Ryan White House right now. I don’t want to think about it. I do everything I can to NOT think about it. If I think about it too much, I start crying in strange places like the car or the shower and one time on the cat. So I’m not ALLOWED to think about it. If I start I have to tell myself NO NO NO. Please do NOT bring that PARTICULAR badness down upon yourself right now, you’ll have plenty of time to freak right the fuck out in a few days if things take a very dark turn. Well, what I think is a dark turn. I suppose some of you reading this might well think that the OPPOSITE outcome would be a very dark turn, and I suppose that’s what’s nice about opinions and assholes, isn’t it. How they’re so all-inclusive.

OK, this just made me snort-laugh. I like this chicken.

So, no. No, I’m not going to get more political than this, here. Other than, I’m going to vote today, and I hope you are, too, because I think it’s important everyone does. (Well, I suppose this is moot for those of you reading this in countries other than MERKA, but the sentiment still stands. When you can vote, please vote. It is something we here at Lucy’s Football feel very strongly about. And as always, by “we,” I mean me and Dumbcat, of course.) I will be schlepping on over to the local elementary school, even though I am very, very busy (which is, I think the huge excuse people use – “I’m way too busy!” – well, try being busier than I am, jellybeans, and I still get out the vote, you know?) and taking my sadly not-at-all fancy Scantron voting sheet into my foldy cardboard divider privacy booth and scribble in my bubbles for the correct people and then run it through the scanner and not even get an “I VOTED!” sticker because I guess my area doesn’t DO those. I’m going to do all that. Then I’m going to (depending on when I get time to vote, either in the wee small hours or right after work, because right after work I have to eat quick and then run to auditions) walk around all day worrying. You think I worry a lot on a NORMAL day? Well, wait til you see me until they announce who won the election.

These are our voting “booths” now. I know. QUITE fancy.

I have no idea who’s going to win. None. I don’t even have a prediction or a guess. I don’t know what way the national winds are blowing. Most of my people are liberals, so of course they’re all RAH RAH OBAMA. But there are a lot of people who just HATE the president. They blame him for everything from the lack of jobs in the country to their girlfriend breaking up with them to that stubborn nose-hair that keeps poking out all weird. The country’s very shouty and very divided. It makes me sad. Was it always this bad? Has it always been this bad, every election? I’m not old enough to remember them all, going so far back. I am the first to admit that I didn’t pay a lot of political attention until probably the last…oh, I don’t know, 12 years or so? Shh, I was busy. Doing what? THINGS, ok? ALL THE THINGS.

So, anyway. Go vote today. I will not attempt to bias you. You already know where my vote’s going and I would hope your mind is made up by now, anyway. I refuse to cast a vote for someone who thinks women and homosexuals (shit, not to mention people of color and anyone who’s on government assistance and probably people who don’t own a dressage horse) are lower-class citizens than straight white (rich) men. I know a lot of people are scared about the economy and are voting because they think the current government has royally dicked it over and anyone, ANYONE, would better fix it than Obama would; I get it. I do. I’m working, on average, 45-60 hours a week just to pay my bills and I’m still not doing great. It’s a scary, scary economy. But I don’t vote for the economy. What the hell do I care about the economy? Money’s been confusing me since I got my first allowance. (FIFTY CENTS, thank you very much.) I vote with my heart. I vote for social issues. Does that surprise you at all? I might pretend to be scary but I’m squishy as hell. I pay attention to which candidate most clearly aligns with me on the social issues, and then I give him (or her, please, her, before I die? Come on, Merka) my vote. I think you know which candidate that is.

Also, I enjoy the hell out of him. There. Hate me if you must, but I do.

Also, just in case: what does one need to pack, to move to Finland? Just in case. I like to have a contingency plan completely ready to go. I’m guessing…something warm? It seems like it would be chilly in Finland. Also, we’ll be on an island and I can’t swim so I think I’d need floaties. Andreas, is everyone blonde in your Finland? Am I going to stand out all weird? I don’t want to have to dye my hair blonde to fit in, Andreas. I make a terrible blonde. I tried to go there once and it was a disaster. I looked like a science experiment gone wrong. I am meant to be a wicked brunette. With a funny white streak near one temple, apparently. As if I saw a HAUNT and it MARKED me.

Also, Andreas, I am NOT going into a sauna. The internet seems to show a LOT of photos of saunas when I Google Finland. I AM NOT DOING THIS ANDREAS. And what is that last guy holding on this lap? It looks like a large hedgehog, or a holly bush. NO THAT’S NOT A EUPHEMISM.

Happy Election Day, my fellow Merkans. Whatever happens, please just vote, ok? We don’t get a lot of chances to get our voices heard; this is one of the ways you can shout. Go shout today, ok? Loudly. Shouting loudly is very, very Lucy’s Football approved.

Time for me to start worrying. I’ll be in the pots-and-pans-cupboard until tomorrow morning, if you need me. Send in some fruit punch every now and then so I don’t get dehydrated, ok? You’re the best, thanks so much.

(Title is a John Quincy Adams quote; it pretty much sums up how I vote every year. Nice one, JQ.)

About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

24 responses to “Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone…your vote is never lost.

  • sj

    The thought of a Romney/Ryan White House terrifies the crap out of me, too.

    I can understand thinking “Oh, I’m a republican, I’m voting the straight republican ticket,” for some people, but I don’t understand how any woman can vote to put either of those two in such positions of power. I’m not saying I think Obama is perfect, but since Jill Stein doesn’t stand much of a chance, I really hope he wins. Really, really.

    Also, after the 2000 election, I can’t BELIEVE we’re still putting our faith in this electoral college bullshit.

    Youngest boy just asked me why I was so sad right now. I can’t even…


  • Andreas Heinakroon

    Although I would hate for your favourite candidate to lose the election, you’re still more than welcome to come and live with us and sleep on the couch. You won’t get much sleep, I’d venture, what with all the dogs and kids, but you’re welcome none the less.

    Yes, it would be chilly during winter, although the Åland islands have milder winters than the rest of the country. It rarely creeps below -10 C, and it’s only moderately snowy. Still, some nice and warm winter clothes would come in handy.

    No, you wouldn’t need any floats, as we have ferries that carries us (and our cars) over the water like magic.

    ‘Sauna’ is one of the few Finnish words to make it into the English language, although we don’t use that word here as we speak Swedish (we call it ‘bastu’ instead). You will need to try it at least once – you don’t have to have it much hotter that 60 C to get the cleansing effect. Oh, and the bush you see is a bunch of birch twigs that we use to hit ourselves over the back with in order to increase blood circulation and induce more sweating.


    • lucysfootball


      You did not answer that. I look TERRIBLE as a blonde.

      Ugh, I hate being hot. No saunas for me. You hit yourself with twigs? AND you’re hot? You can go do that, I’ll hang with the kiddos and the pets while you do.

      I’m packing as we speak. Dumbcat is excited for his first international jaunt.


      • Andreas Heinakroon

        We’re not all blonde, Amy! What do you think – that we’re some kind of Aryan übermench? Ok, so some of my cousins are blonde, but most of us over here have dull boring mouse coloured hair.

        Anyway, the whole discussion is moot since Obama won again.


        • lucysfootball

          Hee! Mouse-colored hair. OK, then I will be fine. I have…um…brown-colored hair. That looks red in the sun. With white pieces.

          I might still come live on your couch. Not politically, but who knows what I might need to escape from? You keep that couch ready for me, just in case. I like knowing it’s there.


  • Charleen

    I didn’t get a sticker either! I mean, come on, what was the point?

    Also, I don’t know whether or not you’re interested in the opinions of someone who is 29 and a US citizen and has never voted until today (for reasons that I’m sure are NOT Lucy’s Football approved), but I wrote up a blog post about my first election season:

    For you or anyone else who’s interested.


  • scottmac56

    Great post. It’s all good. I’m already rehearsing my end zone dance for when Mittens delivers his concession speech. Flagrant excessive celebration. How sad that I don’t have a webcam. Yet.


  • Emily M.

    Your voting booths are fancier than the ones we have in the little county I live in in NC….ours were just plain beige….and very wobbly…..but I DID get an ‘I Voted’ sticker :)~ And I’m wearing it proudly!


  • Kristen Armstrong (@krispix24)

    If the worst happens you can always move to Canada, which is closer than Finland. And while we have lots of water we have lots of land mass too! And even though we have a conservative government, it is not nearly as right wing as yours! Plus we would love to have you on our couch!


  • Kris Rudin (@krisrudin)

    I voted last week via mail, so my duty is done. Glad you’re voting, too. EVERYBODY in Merka should vote today!!!

    And, um, yeah, that guy in the photo has a large euphemism, there. ;-)


    • lucysfootball

      Everyone should. I totally told all the auditioners at auditions tonight, “I hope you all VOTED before you came here!” and they SAID they did. I think they were scared to say no. Heh.


  • Heather

    I did not get a sticker, either. Boo.


    WE DID IT!


  • sunraeny

    I’m with SJ on this whole stupid electoral college thing. CNN was annoying the heck out of me last night predicting who was going to win the state based of 6% of the vote (like Maine) … the only way our voices are heard and make a difference is if each and every one of them counts … they don’t count if you vote “red” and your state is “blue” …
    ps – can wait for tomorrow night!!!


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