Lobotomies: underrated? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Just got home from work and ate some dinner and now I have to write something or you’re probably not going to get a blog post today. What WOULD you all do without my inane ramblings? Oh, what’s that? Probably you’d be just fine? SIGHHHH. Maybe *I* wouldn’t be fine, did you ever think of THAT? This is a LOT cheaper than therapy, you know. Also, therapy is NOT FUN. They just want you to talk about ALL THE SERIOUS things ALL THE TIME. You leave VERY DEPRESSED. Also, mostly they tell you they want you to go out and go for a walk. BUT YOU ARE TOO DEPRESSED TO GO FOR A WALK! Because you had to talk about the MOST depressing shit EVER so really all you want to do it sit home and MOPE! (Do you think maybe I was going to the worst therapists ever? I think yes.)

“Tell me about your childhood.” “WAAAAHHHHH!”

There is a commercial they keep showing that makes me want to stab kittens. Do you all get this one? The one where the guy takes a photo of all the kids in Halloween costumes and says “cheese” for like a month in the most annoying voice ever and it reminds me of that terrible Dumb and Dumber movie where they made the most annoying noise in the world? And they show it ALL THE TIME. I would show it to you but for some reason I can’t find it on the internets. Why don’t they just show that Google commercial where the father and daughter chat online all the time, because that one makes me weepy. I’d rather be weepy than want to stab kittens. Wait, here’s the weepy one. I like weepy.

Oh, listen. So, you know how I’ve been working all and all the hours? I just want to say, dear people I work with. I love your faces. You make me laugh every single day. Does what we do kind of suck and make us exhausted and the callers make us want to reach through the phone and throttle the stupid out of them? Yep and yep and yep. However, you make it bearable. You make me laugh and you have the best senses of humor and you laugh at my insanity and you are happy to see me when I get to work and you all say cheerful goodbyes when I go. Listen, I worked at a place that…wasn’t…um…like that. For a long time. Did it maybe pay better and was it a little more stable? Yes, sure. But the people? No. No comparison at all. I want them to succeed and I want them to be happy and I worry about them when they are sick and I care about their families and I think that’s a win, right? They’re really fantastic people. I can’t even imagine how I’d be dealing with this without them. Thank you, co-workers. I went six and a half years getting about one genuine smile a day from my coworkers, so I can’t even tell you how nice it is to have people I genuinely like seeing day after day at work. You are making what’s happening work-wise right now bearable, with the long hours and such. (It’s not work that’s unbearable. I actually don’t mind it so much. I’m just kind of exhausted all the time, is all. I need some unwind-time.) So, work-people: love your faces. Most sincerely. You are some of the best people I know.

Biscuit is thankful. Biscuit is TOTALLY thankful. (I guess I’m Biscuit. Euphemism? We’re going to have to ask Ken about this one.)

Let’s see. What’s up. Um…I have had no times for Dad-stories. Well, don’t worry, I’ve been TALKING to Dad. Just so briefly, there were no stories. He cracked himself up today because he decided to play a funny trick. See, the other night I called him and it was kind of late, and he was all, “AMY! I have been waiting for HOURS for you to call, WHY DO YOU HATE ME!” and I said, “UGH DAAAAAAD. I told you! I had work then THEATER tonight.” (I totally did tell him, too. Like, three times.) So I told him a billion times “Dad. I WILL BE HOME AROUND 8:30 TOMORROW. Please DO NOT FRET. I have a late shift.” So when I called he was all, “Um…someone’s watching Survivor, you couldn’t have called sooner?” which may or may not have been a joke. But TONIGHT! I called around the same time and he was all “I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR HOURS YOU HATE YOUR POOR FATHER!” and then he giggled like a schoolboy. This is why I have a very good dad. He has a very well-developed sense of whimsy. Which he then passed along to his daughter (and to some extent to his son, but it’s all walled-up behind this insane machismo. I can sometimes get it to come out but I’m just about the only one. With everyone else, he’s all GRR ARGH I AM A MANLY MANLY MAN! but when I’m around sometimes I can tease him into being the goofy kid he was when we were growing up. Those are my favorite brother-moments. There aren’t enough of those.)

OH! Also! Listen! It is a very important day! TODAY IS JIM’S BIRTHDAY!

I stole this from Jim’s Facebook page because it makes me laugh like a moron. Here is Jim as a magical unicorn.

Jim is one of my favorite humans. At this time last year, I DON’T THINK I EVEN KNEW JIM. Is that not the saddest thing you’ve ever heard in your life? What, too exaggeratey? It’s TRUE.

JIM! I hope you have an amazing day. You are wonderful and fantastic and you make me laugh but also you make me cry and you are talented and caring and I feel lucky to know you. Thank you for being my friend. I hope your day is full of adventures and surprises and all good things. (Shh, look away, internets, I’m gonna get squishy.) I LOVE YOU JIM!

Ugh, it is LATE. I am all kinds of distracted right now. I have lots in the old brain-space. When do I not? Listen, Andreas and I were talking about whether or not it would be better to be stupid or smart the other day. I know, I know. You’d THINK it would always be better to be smart, yeah? No. Not always the case. Stupid people seem kind of lah-ti-dah just going through their lives and they don’t overthink every single thing and make stupid assumptions and read into EVERYTHING and think the world is going to blow up and worry about every every EVERY thing. They sleep like babies and they are DUMB and they are HAPPY. And would it be better, to be this way? Or would it be better to be intelligent and miserable? I honestly don’t know. I think we decided if we could lose our intelligence but not KNOW we were ever intelligent, it’d be ok. But remember “Flowers for Algernon” and he REMEMBERED he’d been smart and it was just MISERABLE? Oh, did I ever cry over THAT. Whoo!

OMG I CAN’T EVEN. Poor little Algernon, seriously. This story was the worst.

It is not always easy to be intelligent. You’d think it would be, but it’s not. It’s twisty and it hurts more and you’re actually possibly worse-off. I know you’re all “YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE” and I am, I am, I am. Of course I am. But sometimes I’d like a night’s sleep without having to replay everything I’ve said and done all day long, and beating myself up over it, before I can sleep;  I’d like to just see something pretty and say “ooh, pretty!” without overthinking it; I’d like to just take things at face value and not have to OVERANALYZE everything.

OK. I have GOT to get to bed. Have to. Getting late all up in this here joint. Have work pretty early tomorrow.

Listen, I have some pretty amazing people in my life. Can I just end with that? I have some pretty amazing people in my life. And I just love them so much. Thank you, people. You keep me going. Thank you thank you and all the love, ok? All the love.

About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

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