I am so out of time today. I had THINGS to do today! Important THINGS! Also I slept in. Because I stayed up too late. SO LATE. Time’s fleeting, you know? And there are SO MANY THINGS TO DO. Blergh.
What’s today. Sunday? Mom and Dad are here right now! We are eating seafood and buying a television and new clothes and then they will be leaving and then I will have A DAY AND A HALF LEFT and what will I do with that time?
WHO KNOWS! Probably playing around online. That’s a good use of my time. And at 2am tomorrow morning I WILL BE A YEAR OLDER!!! Very very exciting! Birthday birthday birthday! Yes, 2am. I was born at a very good time. I told you this, right? Weeks early and in the middle of the night and also THE WRONG SEX because I was supposed to be a BOY and Dad was all “I don’t think this is right, are you sure, nurse lady?” but I think he’s finally come to terms with it. It’s only taken him like all the decades but I think he’s ok with my ladyness. Plus he had a boy a few years later so it all worked out alright for him.
SPEAKING of Dad, he has good news! Strange yet good news!
Dad: Guess where I’m going.
Me: No idea. The mall? Albany? Church? The woods? The bathroom?
Dad: Stop just guessing things.
Me: Fine. Where are you going?
Dad: New Found Land.
Me: What? Newfoundland?
Dad:No. New Found Land.
Me: You just found some land? I think everything’s been found. It’s not colonial times.
Dad: I’m going to New Found Land to hunt moose.
Me: Newfoundland? Really?
Dad: Yes. New Found Land! Did you know to get to New Found Land, you have to take a ferry for FOUR HOURS?
Me: Huh. No, I did not know that. That’s very bon vivanty of you, right?
Dad: Vonting! I’m going vonting. I bet the assassin’s never been to New Found Land to hunt all the moose. I AM THE BEST AT VONTING.
Me: No, I am fairly sure he hasn’t. I’d be willing to bet money on it, actually. You’re just going to Newfoundland to hunt moose? All randomlike?
Dad: No. Friend B. talked me into it because he said I might be dead next year.
Me: Well. That’s a good friend. Very cheerful.
Dad: He said, “You might be dead next year. So we should go kill those moose now.”
Me: I wish I had friends like that, because boy, that’d be fun. I’m going to tell my friends they suck.
Dad: Also, friend R. is going.
Me: Well, that will be fun! Like an adventure. A moosey adventure. Will you take photos? I want to see things.
Dad: I already told B. I would have to take pictures of the dead moose.
Me: I don’t mean photos of DEAD things. I mean photos of Newfoundland.
Dad: I GUESS. But that sounds boring.
Me: Yes, because photos of dead moose would be SO EXCITING.
So! Dad is going to New Found Land. So if you’re wondering where I got my pronunciation of Fin-LAYND, I think it’s pretty obvious. Also, ALL THE MOOSE SLAUGHTER! (Don’t worry. I don’t think any moose will be slaughtered. A lot of times, people go on these things and don’t kill anything. I think it’s mostly an excuse to hang with the fellas and drink beer. And I guess go to New Found Land.) And if there are photos, you can bet I will be sharing them! NEW FOUND LAND! This is all happening at the end of the month so BE PREPARED!
Let’s see, what else. I’m kind of out of news and have only a couple hours before I have to get to work and today (well, in MY world, in YOUR world it’s Sunday) is Friday and Fridays are so much worse than any day of the week and I get SO STRESSED OUT. Yesterday I went into work SO SO HAPPY and then only a few hours later I had my head on my desk because things were…um…bad. Bad bad. I don’t want to talk about that right now. Some things are not blog-worthy. Also, I don’t want to lose this job, too, let’s be honest. Anyway, today will be worse. I’m quite sure. Dear people of the Capital District: please stop calling the answering service en masse on Fridays, it makes me want to pull all my hair out. Thank you.
Last night there was so much fog out it was like I was driving home in a horror movie. Very exciting and also scary. It reminded me of that terrible movie The Fog that came out a few years ago and there was a trailer for it on television that they played over and over and OVER and it had some sort of weird dubbing issue and the girl who played Shannon on Lost would say, “There’s something in…the fog” but you could tell that “there’s something in” and “the fog” were from two different parts of the movie because the background noise was different and her voice sounded different so for WEEKS I went around saying “there’s something in…the kitchen” or “there’s something in…the hallway” or whatever and I’m lucky I lived with such a patient roommate because probably I was driving her insane but it gave me such the giggles. SUCH THE GIGGLES. And it still does. Then a while later I watched the movie and that line wasn’t even IN the movie. Well, I think it was but it didn’t sound like that. It sounded BORING and NORMAL.
Oh, ok, one more thing and then I HAVE TO EAT LUNCH because I’m GOING TO BE LATE FOR WORK. Our bon vivantiest Ken is in HAMBURG this week!
Ken has blogged about Hamburg and I think you all need to check it out because his photos are gorgeous and much better than that weird haunted thing I put up there. Also last night he was going to take me to the FischMarkt but I had to go to sleep. A whole MARKT of FISCH, are you so excited? I was, until I had to go to sleep. I miss all the good things with the sleeping. He promised to blog about the Markt of Fisch so I will wait patiently. HA HA like I have ever been patient about anything EVER.
Here are things I learned about Hamburg from the interwebs:
- it is the second-biggest city in ALL OF GERMANY. I’m going to assume Berlin’s the biggest, right? I can’t just say that here, that’s irresponsible. I have to research it. YES IT IS. Aren’t you proud I did research? (Also, Ken’s Munich is third! I had no idea.)
- Hamburg’s OFFICIAL name is “the free and Hanseatic city of Hamburg.” This tickles me to no end. It sounds SO FANCY. I want to go to a city with an official moniker.
- Hamburg has water. I approve of any city that has water. NO, I don’t mean they have DRINKING water, I mean they have a RIVER. It is on the river Elbe. ELBE! I like how that sounds, it’s very fancy. Also there is a lake called Lake Alster. When you Google Lake Alster you get this photo and I don’t know what this is but I find it totally the most whimsical (and maybe a wee bit frightening because I don’t like statues) and want to go to there.
- The internet tells me the people who live there are called Hamburgers but I can’t imagine that’s true. It sounds like a trick.
- Hamburg has Europe’s largest red light district. When I went to Amsterdam I went to the red light district and a man tried to get me to watch a lady having sex with a gorilla and he was SO CHEERFUL about that I laughed until I cried.
- There is a thing there you can eat called a Franzbrötchen which is like a croissant with cinnamon and sugar. Sometimes raisins but that’s a bad idea I’m telling you because raisins are terrible anytime. Ken Ken KEN. You need to eat one of these things and tell me how delicious. No raisins. though, Ken. Don’t let me down about the raisins.
- Wikipedia says THERE ARE ALWAYS MUSICALS RUNNING IN THE CITY. Always! ALWAYS. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a city that ALWAYS has a musical running in it. Also, there’s a English-language theater, and the Beatles recorded there once. This is a very artsy city. This theater geek approves.
In summation: I’m pretty keen on Hamburg. APPROVED! What did I do before I had bon vivanty friends? I can’t even imagine.
OK. I am officially going to be late for work. HAPPY DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY!!!!