Big brother is watching you. Or maybe little brother, it’s debatable.

What day is this. Thursday? Thursday. OK. Here we are, Thursday! Whoo! It’s another night-shift week at work so I’m all discombobulated. And maybe a little bewitched, bothered and bewildered, who knows. I am told that there will be day-shifts next week for me, so I might become a daytime creature again next week. We’ll see how that works. As is, I’m all switched around. Dad reminds me that all through my childhood, he worked these shifts and it only screwed him up PERMANENTLY, so, thanks for that, Dad. (No, seriously, he really did. He worked swing-shift my whole life. A different shift every week, rotating every three weeks. Days, 4 o’clocks, midnights. Every week something different. And he worked a lot of doubles, because we were poor and he got time and a half for doubles – and double time and a half on holidays. We had a lot of holidays at weird times because we waited until he got home from work. So in case you think I’m from fancy-fancy rich-people stock, you are sorely mistaken. Anyway, to make a long story short – HA HA AMY WHEN HAVE YOU EVER – I have no idea how he did this for thirty-some-odd years. This could explain why my father’s insomnia is legendary, even now. And why when he would call us from work he was SO SO CRANKY.)

Sometimes Dad would take naps under an abandoned desk. Oh, wait. NO HE WOULDN’T! Not my dad! Heh.

However, it is almost BIRTHDAY WEEKEND! so I have a thing to look forward to if I can only make it through five days of work. And by the time you are reading this, I’ve made it through two days, so only three more to go. That’s nice! That’s good. Only three more! I CAN TOTALLY DO THIS.

Oh! Oh, I have a NEWS FLASH from Dad for you all today. It’s IMPORTANT BUSINESS so it’s best you all listen up, yo.

Dad: You’re going to have to get off the Twitter.
Me: What? No, I’m not.
Dad: Yes. It was on the news today.
Me: What was, that Amy has to get off the Twitter? Well, doesn’t that make me feel famous. Oh, on this TV show I was watching last night, someone mentioned Lucy yanking away the football. I’m everywhere on the TV lately, right?
Dad: NO. Stop being FLIPPANT. The NEWS today said that the GOVERNMENT is WATCHING your TWITTERING.

WATCHING MEEEEE!

Me: Oh, they’ve always been doing that. I’m not too worried. If they care about the adventures of Dumbcat or me talking books or euphemisms with my friends, I guess they’re pretty bored.
Dad: YOU’RE GOING TO BE ARRESTED.

Oh, I’m going to the big house. Someone send me a cake with a file in it.

Me: What? Why am I going to be arrested?
Dad: IT WAS ON THE NEWS.
Me: I think you might have misinterpreted whatever you saw on the news.
Dad: No. NO. You ALL need to get off Twitter. The GOVERNMENT is WATCHING you.
Me: Oh, Dad. They always have been. There was a report a while back that they were monitoring public Twitter accounts for mentions of terrorism, and they put all of our tweets, for some strange reason, in the Library of Congress. I’ve always known that. As I am not a terrorist, I am not worried. It’ll all be ok. If I was worried, I’d lock down my account. Or stop tweeting. Or not talk about terrorism online, were I a terrorist. Which I am not.

I always wanted to be in a library. Huzzah!

Dad: You are going to be sorry.
Me: I don’t think I am.
Dad: YOU ALL ARE! I want you to tell the assassin, too. And your nice friend I waved to when I was driving to Florida.
Me: Well, I’ll tell them, but I don’t think they’re going to stop tweeting.
Dad: I’m not visiting all you people in Guantanamo.

I hope you’ll all come visit me in Gitmo.

Me: Didn’t they close Guantanamo?
Dad: Your president said he was going to but it was LIES LIES LIES.
Me: Did you suddenly become a Canadian citizen? I don’t care who you voted for, he’s your president, too, Rabble Rouser McGurk.
Dad: THAT IS NOT MY PRESIDENT. You take that BACK.
Me: *long suffering sigh* OK, fine, Guantanamo is still open, but I don’t think they waterboard people for tweeting about The Amazing Race.
Dad: That’s what they all say right before they’re being waterboarded for tweeting about The Amazing Race.
Me: So, am I ok to be on Facebook? Or to blog? Or are those also forbidden?
Dad: I think it’s best you get off the internet altogether. THEY ARE WATCHING YOU.
Me: Big brother has always been watching, Dad. This is hardly news.

Dad: What are you talking about? You don’t have a big brother. Your brother is younger than you are. You’re so weird.

I attempted to look up what had Dad in such a tizzy but couldn’t find any recent Fox News stories about the government monitoring my Twitter account. (Yes, I know he was talking about Fox News. When Dad said “the news” he means Fox News. There IS no other news. There’s Fox News, then there’s “the government news” that lies to us and tells us what Obama wants us to believe. The smart people in the world who think for themselves watch Fox News; the rest of us sheep watch “the government news.” I wish this was something I was making up for funsies but this is TRUE FACTS, bub, straight from my Dad.)

I am currently watching the American version of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. “I want you to help me catch a killer of women” still gives me the chills. Although it is fine, and I like the music very much, and the cinematography is lovely, this Lizbeth is not my Lizbeth. My Lizbeth will always and forever be Noomi Rapace, and my movies will always be the Swedish movies.

MY Lisbeth. The BEST Lisbeth.

I loved that I could listen to them in the language intended, and read the subtitles so I could understand them. (Also, I told Andreas this the other day, Swedish sounds like how I would imagine fish would talk. It’s all fast and liquid and kind of bubbly. I like Swedish very much. This came up because Andreas made me a recording of him speaking Swedish, and he a., sounds like a very distinguished famous movie star with this deep rumbly voice, and b., SWEDISH SOUNDS LIKE HOW FISH WOULD TALK and it made me giggle and clap my hands delightedly.) Anyway! This movie is fine. I just don’t see that there was a need for it. The Swedish movies were FANTASTIC.

Listen, here is a story about the Swedish movies, and the books. I read the first book and I was all “WHOA THIS IS AMAZING.” And I don’t usually like crime fiction, but I fell crazy in love with Lizbeth Salander because she was such a layered character. I love well-written characters. (Yes. The violence against women in the book was over the top. I know. I cringed and at one point I had to put the book down. I still loved it. Lizbeth was a fighter, and I related to her so, so much.) Anyway, my dad and I don’t like the same kind of books. And he doesn’t read much, anyway. But I thought, he would like this so much. So I said, hey, Dad, I think you should read this book. So I found a copy for him on half.com and got it shipped to him and said, if you like it, let’s talk, there are two more of these in the series, I’m reading the second one now and the third one’s supposed to be published soon. And he called me a week or so after he got it and he was all “THIS IS AMAZING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW. I like Lisbeth! She is a badass. I hate Bjurman! I want to punch him in the junk. Who do you think killed Harriet? Do you think Blomkvist will fall in love with Lisbeth?”

How often do I get to talk books with my dad? Not very damn often. Over the next week or two, we discussed it every time we talked. He would say, “OK, I don’t understand this…” and we’d discuss the pressed flowers Vanger was getting in the mail, or the Bible with the names and numbers, or the women Blomkvist and Lisbeth were investigating and how they all tied into the whole bigger mystery, and it made my whole heart glad. Then I went home for some reason (Christmas, maybe?) and he’d Netflixed the Swedish movie for us. And he HATES subtitled movies. He always says if he wanted to read, he’d read a book, not watch a movie. But we were TRANSFIXED. We were SURE the movie wouldn’t be as good as the book, but it was. It was wonderful. Good job, Sweden!

I also like that European actors don’t have to be all airbrushed-pretty. They look like real people. This pleases me a great deal.

We read the other two books together (well, separately, but discussed over the phone) and he actually came up to see me to watch the second movie in the theater with me, which was awesome. The third movie we didn’t see together – I watched it free from the library like I do and he watched it from Netflix. We both agree that the third movie was the weakest of the three because we don’t like courtroom crap and the third movie was mostly courtroom crap. But it’s one of my favorite Dad-memories, how we were both just completely wrapped up in these books and movies together for the longest time. I know a lot of parents are booky and get into literature with their kids, and my mom used to read to me a lot when I was little, but my dad wasn’t the reading type. He’d do it, but only when mom wasn’t able for whatever reason. So this was really special to me.

So, yeah. I appreciate the effort, Rooney Mara, and you didn’t do a BAD job, but you’re no Noomi Rapace. Noomi Rapace is, and will always be, my Lisbeth. And my dad’s Lisbeth, too. (Dad refuses to watch the new movie because he is having a feud with Daniel Craig because in an interview once, Daniel Craig said he was pro-gun control, and that’s a no-no in Dad-land. So if you ever meet my dad, and you’re pro-gun control, that’s cool. Just DO NOT MENTION IT.)

I feel Mara was trying too hard and Rapace just relaxed into the role somehow. What do you all think, anyone seen either and have any thoughts on the matter?

OK. Lunch. Work. Home. Sleep. Repeat repeat repeat. Happy Thursday, all. Week’s almost over! Get off the Twitter, the government’s watching you!

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

26 responses to “Big brother is watching you. Or maybe little brother, it’s debatable.

  • sj

    Hee, I was so excited “I AM THE NICE FRIEND HE WAVED TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    hahhaahaha.

    Anyway, I have not read nor seen these books/movies. It’s my stubborn self saying “Hell, no. They’ve been built up TOO MUCH and now I’ll just be DISAPPOINTED.”

    HOWEVER, maybe since Amy’s dad has read and liked them, I will give them a chance at some point.

    My dad and I watch a lot of tv together. Usually I end up seeing things twice because I’ll watch once with husband (or on my own) and then the next day with my dad. I know. What a waste of time, but it’s nice to be able to discuss and speculate with him. Husband will watch, but hates to speculate.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I thought you’d like that! I was going to give you a spoiler this post was upcoming, then I decided you might like it better if it was a SURPRISE. :)

      I think you might like the books. The first one is the best, so you’ll know right away if you like them with that one. (In my opinion, anyway – and most things I’ve read agree with me.)

      I have to watch a lot of dad-things twice, too, but mostly because he talks through them and I miss important things. He’s unable to be shushed. A lot like his daughter!

      Like

      • sj

        Ugh, my dad talks through everything too! But if anyone else utters a word, he sighs heavily and gets upset.

        He is also THE WORST at talking while I’m doing other things and not paying attention and saying “Know what I mean?” To which I reply “Um, no, I’m doing [something else],” and then he SIGHS AGAIN and is all “NEVER MIND!” and gets all sulky.

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        • lucysfootball

          Other than the politics, our dads are TWINS. Dad won’t let anyone else talk (I get shushed!) but he talks and talks and then actually asks me, “what did that guy say? This is so quiet, isn’t it?” NO DAD. You are TALKING OVER IT.

          Also, Dad does that same thing with the sighing if I’m not paying all the attention to him. Then he says, “well, I guess this means you hate me,” and he brings it up months later. “Remember that time I was telling you that good thing, and you hated me so you ignored me?” SIGH SIGH SIGH DAD!

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          • sj

            HA! Man, if we could get our dads together and convince them NOT to discuss current events, I think they’d be besties.

            Except my dad is all about the internet, so maybe not. He doesn’t tweet, but he does have a fb account, which I’m pretty sure he only uses to harass my brothers.

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            • lucysfootball

              I think they’d just have to sit together and not talk. Because Dad would be all “YOU’RE ON THE FACEBOOK?!? THE INTERNET WILL PUT YOU IN JAIL!” and your dad would be all “Um. UM.” and then things would get awkward. :)

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      • Charleen

        Okay, THANK YOU for thinking the first is the best. I, also, liked the first book the best, but so many people disagree with me! I’ve come across ONE other person who agreed with me on that. You make two. I’m sure there are more of us out there.

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        • lucysfootball

          People like the other books better? But the first book has such an amazing plot! And you meet everyone! The second book’s good. The third book’s got too much court in it, and I hate legal stuff so much. Blergh. Nope. First book for me!

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  • Heather

    I’m being redundant here, but…I love your dad.

    I’m avoiding the Americanized versions of The Girl Who movies like the plague. The Swedish versions were so good.

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  • 35JupiterDrive

    Okay, first of all, I have found the best Swedish language thing because you made me because I wanted to hear what you think fish sound like. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpHniCEHY7I

    This cracked me up. I love your Dad. I’m pretty sure if I ever met your Dad, I would answer every political comment with the phrase “I probably agree with Amy on that one.” That way I could refocus the political ire on you. (Yes, I have a younger sibling. I learned this from him. I mean, he was like 5 at the time and wouldn’t remember teaching me it, but that’s definitely where I got it.)

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    • lucysfootball

      I will have to watch it when I get home tonight! So many things to do today, argh!

      I answer most of his comments with “I think it’s best we don’t talk about this.” Then he continues, and if we’re on the phone I make static noises, or if we’re face to face I say “how about that sporting event that recently transpired?” It doesn’t always work.

      Like

  • Samantha

    I haven’t read the books, but I’ve seen the American version. I really can’t have too much of an opinion without reading the book, but the movie was quite brutal. Watched with boyfriend and his brother, and we were all cringing at points, which I can imagine is probably much worse in the book. But I enjoyed it? I still want to read the book so I understand more what was going on.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Very brutal. The book gives more of Lisbeth’s backstory, so you REALLY cringe when things are happening to her. But you also really get to know her, and you love her. And then you learn MORE in the second book! And I guess some more in the last book but I didn’t love that one as much.

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    *in a distinguished, rumbly and fish-bubbly voice* I’m glad you like Swedish films – I haven’t watched any of these but I’ve been told they’re rather good. Mikael Nyqvist is one of my favourite actors, and as luck would have it he’s in two of the three films I’ve sent you. And yes, Swedish actors aren’t particularly airbrushed, this is true. I guess that makes them a little more real?

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    • lucysfootball

      YAY! I check my mail EVERY DAY to see if I have my Andreas-package! (NOT A EUPHEMISM KEN NOT A EUPHEMISM!!!)

      That totally makes them more real. I like actors that look like people more than I like actors that look like perfection. Because no one looks like perfection, so why even bother? OF COURSE the actors in the movie always get the girl. BECAUSE THEY ARE PERFECTLY HANDSOME/GORGEOUS. Give me a break.

      Like

  • zippy219

    Noomi Rapace is the best Lisbeth Salander by far. Rooney Mara came across too young and not quite in character for me. I agree that the American version was unneccessary.

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    • lucysfootball

      Yay! Noomi was AMAZING. Even better, the interview with her after made me laugh so hard, because she was adorable and bubbly and giggly and that made me so impressed with all the work she put in to become the character, you know?

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      • zippy219

        I’ll have to find that interview. I have to admit that seeing Noomi in Prometheus was a little disappointing for me. Her character was so emotional and soft…I loved that cold, hardness about her when she was Lizbeth. I think she’s a great actress though…I just need to work on my expectations. : )

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        • lucysfootball

          The interview was after the movie (at least, on the version Dad had, it was.) After seeing her badassery, it was kind of adorable. I love when you know an actor/actress can really act, and they’re not just playing a version of themselves, you know?

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  • becomingcliche

    I have not read the other two books, but the first was excellent. I didn’t expect it to be my kind of thing, but it was. I am scared to watch the movie, though.

    Happy birthday weekend!

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    • lucysfootball

      The Swedish movie is harsher (well, for me, anyway.) You know what scene I’m talking about. They didn’t pull any punches in the Swedish movie. The American movie cut away a lot.

      THANK YOU! Two more days of work then TWO DAYS OFF FOR BIRTHDAY FESTIVITIES!!!!

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  • rachael

    i didn’t see the swedish ones so i can’t really compare – but the american version was a movie that MESSED me up. the violence and the complexity of it, blew me away … i read the first 2 books and enjoyed them but could NOT get into book #3 … so it went back to the library before i finished it …

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    • lucysfootball

      Yeah, the last book was pretty slow. I’m not a fan of courtroom stuff, in movies, tv, books, anywhere, really, so it was a bit of a slog for me. But I wanted to see what happened to her so I kept at it. Also, I’m very stubborn. :)

      The Swedish movies were very good! I’d say more graphically violent, though. They didn’t pull any punches.

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  • lazyboo

    I still can’t understand WHY they made the American version at all. It made zero sense. And then had them put on Swedish accents. Why why why? Surely Merkans aren’t that lazy that they can’t manage subtitles.
    There is no comparison, the Swedish version is so much better. And Noomi Rapace pwned Rooney Mara, no doubt about it.
    Well, better is a relative term. I’ve been scarred for life by those movies and what Lisbeth is forced to endure *shudders*

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    • lucysfootball

      I assume it was just a money-grab? And they kept saying, “BECAUSE PEOPLE HATE SUBTITLES!” but don’t they understand there’s a setting on your DVD where if you don’t want the subtitles, you can make the actors TALK IN ENGLISH? (It sucks, I hate it, it never sounds right and I never use it, but it IS available on some DVDs.)

      Noomi was amazing, no doubt. And when she got together with Blomqvist, it wasn’t creepy. In the American version, there was a hint of pedophilia about it to me, and I didn’t like that at all.

      Like

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