Knitting up the raveled sleeve of care. Plus: THE BEST NEWS. ZOMG. With extra Z!

Day off TODAY, too! ZOMG, it’s like a whole WEEKEND happened! I have to go to bed early tonight, though. Early shift the next two days. Which means I get out early – that’s nice – but I’m so not an early morning person. I yawn and yawn and YAWN for like the first two hours. I’m really not at all meant to get up before 8. Or maybe 9. It’s kind of a thing with me.

Speaking of which: ok, so for the past…um, let’s see…twenty-five years of my life? I’ve survived on 4-6 hours of sleep a night. “Survived” being the operative word here. It’s not something I chose. It’s just the way my stupid brain works. For a while, I wasn’t even getting the 4-6 hours. First I tried to fix it with melatonin, because that’s what people said to do. What people? I don’t know, shit, PEOPLE. Boy, you’re questiony. Melatonin worked for a little while but then I had to keep upping and upping and UPPING the dosage until I realized I was taking like a billion times the recommended dosage so I was like, this can’t be good, I think I might be poisoning my gallbladder or something.

Recommended dosage: 1 pill. I was taking like 6 or 7. Probably best I stopped.

So then I tried Benedryl for a while but that just gave me a couple of hours of sleep a night and then I’d wake up all dried up because Benedryl is for allergies and I didn’t HAVE allergies and so therefore it was making me all dry and my nose started bleeding so that really wasn’t handy.

These are not a good long-term solution. Short-term, sure. Long-term, nope.

Then I went to the doctor and I was all, “hey. HEY. I think I might die because I haven’t slept in a VERY VERY LONG TIME.” And she gave me some pills and I’ve been taking them for about ten years now and they work. They’re not GREAT, but they work. One of my other doctors told me to ask for something else the next time I see my GP because what I’m taking isn’t really recommended for sleep or for human consumption anymore, so maybe I will. ANYWAY, that’s not the point of this narrative. Like I’ve ever stuck to the point of a narrative, ever. Sigh.

So remember I got fired and I wasn’t working or doing…well…hell, much of anything for a while? So I had nothing to do but sleep. And I thought, well, there’s no way I WILL sleep. But I did. And whether it was depression or boredom or my screwed-up brain, I started getting some of the best sleep I’ve ever gotten in my life. 8-9 hours. Straight. Without waking up once. Deep and waking up all refreshed with the most tremendous bedhead and feeling like I was really refreshed, and not just like I closed my eyes one minute and opened them the next and hadn’t slept at all. So I thought, huh, THIS is interesting. But it’ll stop once I start working again.

Like a BABY, I’m sleeping. Like a damn BABY.

BUT IT HAS NOT STOPPED, YOU GUYS. I’ve been working these crazy hours at my part-time job, and as long as I make sure I get to bed early enough to give myself the 8-9 hours I need? I CAN STILL SLEEP THE WHOLE TIME. I’m getting SO MUCH SLEEP. Is it depression? Is it just a change in life, like hormones or something? Is it the stress of the last job is gone? I don’t know. I don’t know if I actually want to question it that much, to be honest. It is FANTASTIC. I can’t even explain. Unless you’ve dealt with insomnia, you probably won’t be able to relate. It’s like a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders. It’s like being able to breathe again when you weren’t able to before.  It’s like having this extra well of strength to draw from. IT IS SO AMAZING I CAN’T EVEN. So I’ve gotten better at not staying up late effing around on the internet when I know I can get to bed and will actually get a full night’s sleep. Like a grownup! Like a real, real grownup! Sleep, I will never curse you or screw around with you again. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE DON’T EVER LEAVE ME.

It is true! I might love this “sleep” thing I’ve only heard tell of in the past more than ALL THE PORK-RELATED MEATS.

And, NOW, it’s that time…SHARING THE GOOD NEWS TIME! A while back, I alluded to some good news that might or might not happen. Then I never told you about it. That’s not because I forgot about it, it’s because I was waiting to hear. Well, I got the news today, so I can FINALLY pass it along. And it’s good. It’s super-good.

So, quick, pop-quiz! What are two of my most favorite things in the world? NO, not PEOPLE. THINGS.

If you guessed “writing” and “theater” you are CORRECT. If you additionally guessed “passing judgment on things” you are TRIPLE correct and get extra credit.

About a month ago, I got a call from a theater friend of mine. She’s a theater reviewer for one of our local papers, and she’s looking to retire in the next month or so. “So, what do you think, Amy, want to be a theater reviewer?” she said.

DO I WANT TO BE A THEATER REVIEWER? Um. Yes. Yes, I do. Thank you.

ME ME ME I’m gonna be a reviewer ME ME ME!!!

I get free tickets; I get paid to write something a fraction of the length of one of these posts; I get published both in print and online. And, in “things that would have made wee Amy so happy she would have done a happy dance” – YOU GUYS YOU GUYS I’M GOING TO BE WRITING FOR THE PAPER. Yes, just every now and then, a few times a month, when I get a gig, but still. I’m going to be doing something I’ve wanted to do since I knew it was a thing people did for a living. Both writing for the paper and REVIEWING things for the paper. These are both things I have always wanted to do. And they’re things I will be good at. I know I will. (No, don’t worry. The reviews will not be as long as my blog posts, nor will they have ZOMGs in them, or ALL-CAPS. I have to be PROFESSIONAL and ADULT in my reviews. And I can totally do that if they’re paying me to be. What? I can.)

Whenever I have to do grownup things I feel like I’m playing dressup. TRUE STORY.

I got my first gig last night, which will be in mid-October. I’m going to be slowly worked into the schedule over the next month or so. (There are two other reviewers over there so the three of us do all the reviews in the area.) I get to TRAVEL! Some of the reviews are in MASSACHUSETTS! I’ve never BEEN to Massachusetts! And, on top of the awesomeness of FREE THEATER TICKETS, I get PAID TO WRITE. What’s my ultimate dream in life? To live from my writing. I mean, I’m not really DOING anything to WORK toward that goal (I know, I’m like the most passive dreamer ever) but this is a step in the right direction. No, it’s not enough money to live from…but it’s enough money that, once I get a full-time job again, things will be more comfortable chez moi. And Dumbcat! Chez moi et chez Stupidechat.

Un chat c’est très stupide! Et très enjoué!

Getting paid to do something I love doing? That’s a move in the right direction. I couldn’t be more excited. I’m completely over the moon. I’d love to tell you all you could read the reviews, once they come out – and, well, technically, you can, but you’ll have to pay. I know! It is le suck. The paper is subscription only online. It costs $1 to read each article. So yes! You can read what I’m doing over there. But it would cost you $1. So that’s your call. (I’d post ’em here but what if they found out and fired me? I’m not doing ANYTHING to risk this job. I’d clean the floors of a newspaper building with my TONGUE for the opportunity to work there. Not even kidding you.)

Hmm. A worrisome thing I found is this.

Anyway, there’s my news. It’s not a job, well, not a full-time job, anyway, but it’s just about the most exciting thing to happen in Amy-town in a very long time. I’m ecstatic. So much thanks to my friend C., who thought of me for the job. I just want to hug her until her head pops off. NOT REALLY! No murdering of friends.

OK. I’ve been writing this for hours. Off I go! Happy days, all. I’m working mega-hours over the next few days so I’ll be around, but not much. Behave! As much as you can! If not, at least have fun!

About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

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