Platform shoes, gas shortages, disco, and…email?

Day off day offff! And it is POURING. Which is nice. I can sit inside and listen to the rain and cuddle with a VERY dumb lazy Dumbcat and relax. Well, other than the errands I have to run and then tonight I have a board meeting and I’m sure tomorrow I’ll be right back to work. And tomorrow you’ll be reading this so it’s all in the past for you. But today? DAY OFF! I am playing with the internet and watching the shows I missed last night when I was working the late shift and I am enjoying this the MOST. I’ve worked the past seven days straight so this is so nice right now. I am IDLING LIKE A PRO. Ken would be SO PROUD.

(Oh, since you’re probably SO CURIOUS, I am watching Warehouse 13, Alphas, and Revolution. Well, one at a time, not all at once, of course. Heh. I love Warehouse 13 to distraction – Claudia is one of my favorite TV characters currently on the air.

Claudia! I adore her. She is the BEST.

I like Alphas quite a bit, and am curious if Revolution will be any good. I am very optimistic about premiere season. The commercials make it look like it’ll be right up my alley, but a lot of things look good in commercials and end up terrible. So we’ll see what happens. I love new things. I’m all about the shiny.)

We’ll see, Revolution. We’ll see.

Last night I went to bed without a huge cat scratch on my arm and today I woke up with one so I think you can do the math and 2 + 2 = Dumbcat is trying to kill me in my sleep with his adamantium claws.

Dumbcat is a furry assassin. Dammit.

Oh, I have a Dad story. You will like. It made me giggle.

So Dad’s got two email addresses. One’s Hotmail and one’s through his internet company. (Don’t start with me. I’ve been trying to convince him to get a Gmail address forEVER. He’s all “WHY WOULD I WANT THAT I ALREADY HAVE TWO” even though I tell him over and over that Gmail is far superior than any email client I’ve used.) The email through his internet company has long-since gone unused because it started to get all spammed up, so he was exclusively using Hotmail. (Not that he uses anything much. He has dialup. Everything takes him a billion years so he doesn’t use the internet much at all.) Then his internet company sent him a letter saying they’d instituted a new spam filter so he decided he wanted to start using that address again, so he signed into that account for the first time in years and it had over 10,000 spam messages in it. But there was no option for him to delete them all (plus he was CONVINCED that one, or more, of them, might be something he wanted, or maybe a Chinese businessman offering him a million yen in exchange for a bank account number) so he was deleting them ONE AT A DAMN TIME over the past few weeks. And he has dialup. So it was taking a VERY LONG TIME.

Spam spam SPAM. All of it. Every last bit.

Dad: I deleted about a hundred more today.
Me: Ugh, I kind of want to call up your email company and yell at them for not allowing you to delete all at once. How annoying.
Dad: No, it’s ok. What if one of them was a real email?
Me: Well, since you haven’t logged on in years, I’d think that probably the time limit has passed for responding to that email.
Dad: But maybe not. You don’t know. I could be a millionaire! I could have an email in there from a long-lost friend!
Me: You hate people. You don’t have any long-lost friends.
Dad: Well, you wouldn’t know until you found them. Because they’re long-lost.
Me: I guess. Sometimes things that are long-lost are better off there, is my thought on the matter. Also, if you had Facebook, no one would be long-lost. Facebook makes long-lost a thing of the past. Your long-lost friends are in your face showing you kitten GIFs and telling you how much they love misogyny.

I assure you this was a GIF at one point. It stopped being GIFfy when I inserted it. No one ever said I was handy.

Dad: What’s a GIF?
Me: Nevermind. It doesn’t matter.
Dad: So today, I deleted email from 1974. I think I’m almost to the end of it.
Me: Um. Wait. What?
Dad: I’m almost to the end. I’ve been deleting this stuff for DAYS.
Me: No, no. 1974?
Dad: Yep. That’s got to be almost the end, right?
Me: Dad, there aren’t messages in there from 1974.
Dad: No, there are.
Me: Are you being sarcastic?
Dad: No, of course I’m not. 1974! I’m almost done.
Me: DAD. You didn’t have that account in 1974.
Dad: I’m pretty sure I did.
Me: DAD. You didn’t get that COMPUTER until I was in COLLEGE. So, the early 90s, then.

Here is a computer from 1974. Hee! VERY advanced.

Dad: Are you sure?
Me: Quite sure. I didn’t even have my first email account until 1992. And you didn’t get yours until after I got mine because I was always bugging you to get one.
Dad: Huh. You’re sure?
Me: YES DAD. Wait, I’ll research it. OK, although there was very basic email in the early 70s, you didn’t have it. I can assure you. You didn’t even have internet access in the house until I left for college. Where would you have been sending email from? Two tin cans and some string?

Hello? Did you get my email? Did you LOL? IKR?

Dad: I’m pretty sure the emails said 1974. Why would they lie to me?
Me: Dad, who would you even have been TALKING to? NO ONE had email then. Well, maybe hard-core computer geeks. Old-school gamers. You aren’t friends with any of those people. Do you think they said 1994? Because there’s a good chance you’ve had that account for that long.
Dad: Huh. This is interesting.
Me: What would email in 1974 even be spamming you for? Reel-t0-reel tape recorders? Polyester leisure suits?
Dad: I don’t know. I didn’t read it. I think it was all for Viagra.
Me: No one knew about Viagra back then. Back then, no one needed Viagra. The 70s were a manlier time! Less need for sexual aids! More hairy chests tangled with gold chains and songs about stayin’ alive!

Do you think the Bee Gees needed Viagara? OF COURSE THEY DID NOT. Don’t be ABSURD. Just coke and hairspray, baby.

Dad: You don’t know. You were a baby then.
Me: I was. Those were simpler times. Strained peas. People catering to my every whim. Can I go back to those times?
Dad: No. You’d hate that. You’d have to poo in a diaper. Also, people would touch you. You hate being touched.
Me: True. Good call. Hey, maybe that email was all from Al Gore, about planning the internet! You should have read it. You could have been sitting on a gold mine. You could have written a book! Me & Gore: An Email Correspondence from the PAST.

…to talk to Amy’s Dad. Listen, larger things have been done for smaller reasons. And my Dad is AWESOME.

Dad: Oh, man. I told you reading those emails was a good idea. I deleted them. That was your INHERITANCE. NOW what will you live on when I die?
Me: You just can’t die, I guess. That’s all there is to it.
Dad: I AM SO TIRED. Are you sure I can’t?
Me: Yep. At least until after I do.
Dad: ARGH. That is a LONG TIME.
Me: Yep.
Dad: I’m going to go delete more emails from 1974 now.
Me: Have fun in the 70s. Say hi to my childhood for me. Tell me to not make all those bad decisions. And that plaid pants and vest combos with a rust-colored turtleneck on school photo day are not a good idea.

Shut up, I had the double whammy of a mom who liked to make our own clothes and the 70s. I WAS NOT STYLISH.

When I asked Dad the next day what the date ACTUALLY was on the emails he was deleting he was all “I FORGET” all grumpy-like so I’m guessing I was right that they were 1994 and he didn’t want to admit he’d read them wrong. Oh, Dad.

OK, off to idle some more. IDLING!!!! Dumbcat thinks I should idle more. He’s been a pro at this for years so he’s confused why I find this so difficult.

About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

20 responses to “Platform shoes, gas shortages, disco, and…email?

  • mylifeisthebestlife

    Little known fact: Alphas is filmed in Toronto and Husbandio is a scenic artist and worked on some of the sets! I’ve never seen any of the episodes, but he says that the concept seemed pretty cool…


    • lucysfootball

      I figured it was filmed in Canada! The extras have a very Canadian sound to them. Every once and a while an “aboot” or a “sore-ry” will slip by the editors. It always makes me smile. :)

      It’s a decent show. Not one of my FAVORITE shows, but it’s solid. It’s written well, and the acting is quite good. It keeps me coming back every week!


  • Rich Crete

    True fact: My dad had a rust leisure suit and platform shoes (he was 5’6″) in the 70s. (Well, he wasn’t only 5’6″ in the 70s…he always was 5’6″…as an adult that is…good thing I clarified that, eh?) (He was also a French Canadian…which made the leisure suit make more sense since they were so chique in the 70s)


    • lucysfootball

      I don’t know what my dad wore in the 70s. There aren’t a lot of photos of him from that period. He probably burned them. The only ones I remember are workpants and t-shirts. He was working a lot of hours back then (we were just babies so we needed all the money we could get and were a one-income household) so he probably went from work to bed to work again all the time, for all I know.

      Hee! Leisure suits. I kind of love that.


  • Heather

    10,000 emails! 1974! TIN CANS! Hahaha!


    • lucysfootball

      He was SO SURE they said 1974! He was truly flabbergasted! I’m all, “DAD! Do you REMEMBER writing email when I was a BABY? On a TYPEWRITER, perhaps?” “Ugh, NO, Amy, why do you have to be SO SMART, DAMMIT.” Hee!


  • blogginglily

    I watched Revolution last night. I was underwhelmed. Part of it was probably that I wanted so much to be overwhelmed, but I wasn’t impressed with the main character. Although she’s hot. I liked that about her.

    Did you watch? I don’t want to spoil anything. I missed the first three minutes because we failed to hit record in time. But something happened, and the world is in shambles, and some random “General” who knew the main character’s dad, and uncle from 15 years ago wants them back because they can turn the power back on.

    And there are amulets. And bad acting. And incredibly unrealistic fight scenes where one man kills at LEAST two dozen soldiers with a sword.

    But there’s also asthma. That was a nice touch.

    The writing is not good so far, Amy. If the writing was good I could forgive the rest.

    I was disappointed that the little group left the village to look for her uncle. And this is like a quest, right? It’s a quest, and she’s got to traipse through jungle and murk and mire and swamp and untold danger. . . bandits and cannibals and how the hell is she even going to FIND him once she eventually makes her way to. . . oh, she’s there in the next scene? Oh. . . um. . . wow. That was really fast and uneventful. Oh, there’s her uncle! Oh hi!

    Plus also he’s like all uber dramatically “dark” and he’s got baggage and secrets. . . because he drinks and looks melancholy all the time and gets faraway looks in his eyes and says in a raspy menacing voice. .. “I won’t go back there. . . not again.” FUCK OFF! Horrible acting. Horrible writing.

    Now I’m actually pissed off. I really wanted to like that goddamn show and it sucked. And it’s RIGHT. IN. MY. WHEELHOUSE! I love me some post-apocalyptic entertainment. Fuckers.


    • lucysfootball

      She’s pretty. But she’s also pretty…wooden. I didn’t really like anyone much except for the chubby best friend/comic relief/ex-Google exec. I’m a weird sucker for the comic relief.

      You didn’t miss much. The power went out. It went out oddly – in a wave. Much like in that movie with Jake Gyllenhaal where the freeze didn’t happen all at once, but in a wave, and they could outRUN the freeze, and my dad and I laughed so hard we cried.

      Agree about the asthma – thought that was well-done. I’m assuming, however, this is, what…15-17 years after the power goes out? And that woman who sheltered the asthmatic kid had a valid inhaler? I don’t think it’d still work that many years later. I might be wrong. I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on television.

      The writing is not good. There’s a lot of scenery-chewing. Not only is the writing not good, but the acting isn’t good. Also, I’d bet a billion dollars I don’t have that the main kids’ mom isn’t dead. She’s a big-name actress, it’s highly doubtful they only signed her for the first ep.

      The love interest kid is way too predictable. OOH HE’S ONE OF THE BADGUYS! It’s Romeo and Juliet, apocalypse-style!

      I liked the ending. It tricked me. I like to be tricked. I like that there’s some sort of conspiracy. Why would they WANT the lights to be out? Curious.

      But…yeah. I’m a complete and total sucker for apocalypse fiction. And this isn’t great. But the first episode isn’t always the best, so I’ll give it a few more. (However, sometimes the first episode is awesome – some of my favorite shows sucked me in immediately. Veronica Mars. Buffy. The X-Files. Criminal Minds.)


      • blogginglily

        You know a series that sucked me in immediately? Heroes. THAT was well done. This. . . not so much. Yeah. . . how are they going to make this whole premise work out. I love that despite the fact that the woman possesses an amulet that electromagically makes power come on around it, she’s using a fucking TRS80 computer that your dad used to get his emails on in 1974. Honestly, my friend Rob had a computer in the 1980’s, but no email. no internet. Seriously, you can magic up this amazing technology that nullifies an EMP at least locally, and wirelessly powers. . . ANYTHING. . . and you’re suing a piece of shit Model III TRS 80? How about a laptop? How about a tablet? How about some holographic shit that just hangs in the air? I mean. . . if you have that amulet you’re talking SERIOUS technology. PLUS . . . PLUS. . . on the other end the guy is just online. Like. . . 24/7 apparently. HE has power. Billions dead, but he’s surfing the net waiting for emails from people in his Usenet group?


        • lucysfootball

          Jim, I love you. This comment made me laugh right out loud. You’re so right. And “Usenet group!” Seriously!

          I loved “Heroes” at first but it got so foolish near the end. I hate when a show with promise gets silly.


  • sj

    hahahahaha! ZOMG, I can’t even imagine. EMAIL FROM NINETEEN SEVENTY FOUR! hahahahahahaha!


  • Kris Rudin (@krisrudin)

    I wonder if the 1974 was the number of the email message in his inbox? Some email clients (old, icky ones) number the messages. Maybe that’s what he saw?

    The TV series that hooked me right away was the Battlestar Galactica reboot. (And Firefly, but I didn’t see it until it was off the air, so not sure it counts.)

    Anyway, I love your dad stories!! Thanks!


  • Kris Rudin (@krisrudin)

    Oh, and 3 cheers for a day off for Amy!! :-D


  • lazyboo

    If only your dad had that elusive Al Gore original 1974 email.
    So, I was enjoying your dad story (as I always do) and then I got to the plaid pants and rust skivvy (what we call ye olde turtleneck in Australia) and *shudders*. I was also subjected to my mother’s best sewing efforts in the late 70s and 80s. Matching pastel terry towelling short-sleeved tracksuits… I’ve been scarred for life.


    • lucysfootball

      I KNOW! We would be RICH and FAMOUS if he had that email!

      I guess I should be happy Mom can sew – she’s really very good at it – but WHOO did we get some 70s ensembles. Yikes!

      I like “skivvy!” That’s one of my new favorite words now!


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