Stop putting garbage in my mailbox. I SAID STOP IT.

Today is a very exciting day! It is PRIMARY DAY! That means I get to vote. You all know how much I dig voting. The minute I get out of work today, I’m all about running to the polls and voting like a BOSS. Primary day was supposed to be Tuesday but they moved it because of 9/11 and my dad thinks that’s a very bad idea because he thinks it would be a very nice thing to do, to vote on 9/11. I can’t say I disagree.

VOTING! I still miss the real voting booths, though. Sigh.

We have lots of races to vote for today so it is VERY IMPORTANT that I vote. Even though I am scary exhausted tired. STILL WILL BE VOTING DAMMIT. You all need to go vote in your primaries. Your primaries are important and decide who gets to be on the ballot in November! Don’t leave it up to the yahoos! It takes you like FIVE MINUTES. In and out. Bing bang boom you’re DONE and won’t you feel good? Won’t you feel like you did your civic duty? People who are not registered with a party, you are EXEMPT today. You have to be registered with a party to vote in a primary. And I’m not going to tell you to register with a party; that’s not my place. You can register or not. That’s your thing. I know some people don’t want to be registered for one reason or another. I’m down with that. But if you ARE registered, go primary-vote! It is easy and fun and you get to vote TWICE this year, and what’s better than voting? Not much, is the answer. Not much at all. Shut right up, I love to vote. LOVE IT SO SO MUCH. And, even better? WE GET TO DO IT AGAIN IN NOVEMBER. And then, even BETTER? I WILL STOP GETTING POLITICAL MAILERS IN MY MAILBOX AFTER THAT! YAY! (Listen, my mailbox is small and those political mailers are big and the mailman is hellbent on getting them all SQUISHED in there every day. So my real, valid mail is all CRUMPLED. Because of FLYERS. That I throw in the GARBAGE. STOP WASTING MY MONEY AND SENDING ME FLYERSSSS!

I found this on Zazzle. It made me laugh. A., that his name is “John Doesmith,” because “John Doe” wasn’t enough, and B., that some candidates might get flyers printed on Zazzle. Heh.

(Also, think about this. I’m sure you’re all getting these flyers and phone calls, right? Well, you Merkans. I don’t think you non-Merkans are. If you are, that’d be kind of weird, right? Confusing-like. Anyway, you’re probably all getting inundated with this garbage. And think about it: do you think a robocall or a flyer has ever, in the history of EVER, made someone change their mind or decide upon a candidate? Really? I’d be awfully surprised if you answer me yes. And I might want proof. Maybe photographic proof, or written proof, I haven’t quite decided yet. I’ll let you know. It just seems like SUCH a colossal waste of MONEY and RESOURCES and TIME to me. Unless we’re making more work for printing and garbage people, because I can’t think of what else these might be good for. Ideas? Anyone? I’m totally down for changing my mind if someone knows something about either political flyers or robocalls that I don’t.)

We don’t have to only talk about politics today. I’m SURE I can come up with something else to discuss. Oh, today is Ken-goes-to- London-day, which is super-exciting.

Ta dah! London, are you so excited? YOU SHOULD BE!

Everyone wish Ken a happy and safe safe safe trip in which he has the best time and planes stay in the air when appropriate and land ALSO when appropriate. Ken is going to do the best things like hang out with his tea-people and idle luxuriously with his friend Nigel and meet the lovely Elaine. I will be working all the hours so I can’t enjoy the London trip as much I was able to enjoy the Berlin trip he took us all on a while ago and that is utter sadface on a lot of levels. Because I was even IN London once! It is like old HOME week! And I want to virtually meet Elaine! (Well, and really meet Elaine, but sometimes one takes what one can get.) However, someone has to answer all the phone calls that come into the Capital Region and make money because otherwise the bills will not be paid and then I will be out on the street like a crazy homeless, and so therefore hard decisions have to be made like “on one hand, you could stay home and virtually go to LONDON” and “on the other hand, you could BE A GROWNUP and GO TO WORK” and I guess you have to pick the second one even though it’s not the fun option. And, as your oh-so-helpful mother might tell you because there’s nothing more helpful than unwarranted advice: “Make a PLAN. Take CONTROL of your LIFE.” Thank you, Mom! So not at all something that makes me want to stab myself in the eye and makes me feel like a less-than-contributing member of the human race! Something happened to the phone connection right after that. It went dead, I have no idea what happened there. Huh. Technology, what can you do, am I right?

Anyway, Ken! Have the best time in London. Elaine, have the best time with Ken in London. Oh, and of course, we all know from the Bon Vivant stories that one time, Ken SAVED London, and therefore gets all the free tea and also the love of his BFF Kate Winslet. I hope Ken will make some time to hang with Kate Winslet while he is in London. Otherwise, she’ll be SO CROSS.

“Ken, you had better make time for me! I am quite serious!”

Oh, and, in one more happy tidbit of news which I TOTALLY almost missed, OUR VERY OWN JIM was published in Salon yesterday. Seriously, Jim is taking the world by storm. JIM! I am so proud of you! Go check out Jim and tell him how awesome he is. Jim, this had better not mean you’re leaving your post here.

We can’t do this without you, you know. By “we” of course I mean “me and Dumbcat.”

OK. Off to bed. You know what I love about waking up at 5am? No, me either. Have a nice day, intertubes!

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

25 responses to “Stop putting garbage in my mailbox. I SAID STOP IT.

  • blogginglily

    There’s a primary? Hmm. Nobody told me. I’m busy that day.

    Like

  • Charleen

    I heard once the idea to REGISTER with the OPPOSITE party of the one you really are, so that you can vote in THEIR primaries, and possibly influence whom the guy you really want to win will be running against. Like, if you’re a democrat, you’d be voting for a more moderate republican, because then if the republican ends up winning, at least it isn’t a HARD CORE republican. Or, obviously, vice versa.

    While I sort of get the logic, I can’t really see that one “sneaky” vote swaying the results (unless a lot of people do this, I guess).

    Like

  • sj

    I can’t click on the Salon link because Salon ALWAYS FREEZES MY BROWSER without fail, so I have to hope other people will read it and then tell me what it said because I can’t actually read it myself.

    So.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      You can actually read it on his blog – it’s the first post in his series about his wife’s diagnosis. Only on Salon, so FANCY, you know? Not that Jim’s blog ISN’T fancy…I’m digging myself a hole, here. Gah.

      Like

  • Kris Rudin (@krisrudin)

    In Washington state (where I live) you don’t have to be registered with a party to vote in the primaries. And we had ours, and I voted! I’m like you – voting is AWESOME!!

    Like

  • lahikmajoe

    I’ve met Elaine.

    Poppet is snuggling with me, as I write this. I’d write a longer comment, but Poppet needs attention.

    There will be bon vivanting on the morrow.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Just because I’m too busy to comment doesn’t mean I’m not silently bon vivanting along with you. Have the best, best time. I wish I could be more involved. I miss my free time like a long-lost friend. Snuggle the Poppet for me!

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    It’s not about changing people’s minds – it’s about making their minds up for them. There are a lot of people who don’t know who to vote for, either from lack of interest or from being confused on certain issues. A flyer could – by chance – clarify who they want to vote for. But beware; it might also clarify who they DON’T want to vote for!

    By the way: can’t you put up a sticker on your mailbox or something? Perhaps something like “No political information or propaganda, thank you!” That seems to work in Scandinavia.

    Like

    • Kris Rudin (@krisrudin)

      Oh, Andreas, that is so cute: “works in Scandinavia”. Um, sadly, MERKA is not as enlightened as the countries in Scandinavia. If the mail item has the correct address, in the box it goes! ;-)

      Like

      • Andreas Heinakroon

        ‘Cute’? Really? Huh.

        Your comment did clarify one thing: the flyers are sent to you personally, not just directmailed by some disinterested teenager. In Scandinavia (and this is not cute, by the way), we tend to get a lot of this direct mail, with no addressee on it. In fact it’s become such a problem that a law had to be passed in Sweden to allow the resident to say no to this driectmail by putting up a sticker or note saying ‘No direct mail’ or something on their mailbox. I’ve tested this and it also works fine for political information and religious propaganda. Plus it had the added benefit of making reigious people think twice before ringing your bell to try to convert you to their particular sect.

        But coming back to your comment:If the mail item’s got the correct address in Scandinavia, in the box it goes as well. It only works for non-addressed items.

        Like

        • lucysfootball

          I personally get a lot of both – things addressed to me and things addressed to occupant. We can’t refuse either. The occupant stuff goes to everyone in a certain area or postal code, I think. I just toss it if it’s trash.

          We can also put “no solicitors” on our doors, but it doesn’t really stop anyone coming to try to teach us the way of the Lord. I think the only thing that truly would stop them is a huge bitey dog.

          Like

    • lucysfootball

      Yeah, unfortunately, we don’t get a choice on our mail. Our phone calls, yes, for the most part – we can get put on the do-not-call list. But mail is mail, and if it’s addressed to us, we get it. I’m lucky in that there’s a huge garbage bin right next to my mailbox – I don’t want it, swish into the bin it goes! I don’t even have to bring it into the house!

      I guess if you’re a dummy who doesn’t know how to use the internet you might be swayed by a flyer. But those people usually (in my experience) don’t bother to vote at all. They just say “eh, screw it!” when voting day comes. Or, to quote my coworker who I yelled at the other day, “I’m just one person, my vote doesn’t count.” My response was, “IF EVERYONE WHO SAYS THAT VOTED, ALL OF YOUR VOTES WOULD COME TOGETHER AND COUNT, DAMMIT!!!”

      I might have gotten a little heated. Not-voting does that to me.

      Like

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