Today I was thinking about words. Specifically, how much I love them, and how much I love etymology. You’re all brilliant beyond compare and know exactly what that means, but I know (through my insane obsession with my stats) that I get a lot of high school kids who want me to do my homework for them round these here parts, so for you, you cheaty high school kids, etymology is the study of the history and origin of words and how their use and meaning has changed over time. I find etymology fascinating. I love words; the words we currently use, the words we used to use that have dropped out of favor, either because they’re no longer of use because technology has advanced (you don’t drop “zeppelin” in conversation too often nowadays, now do you? I mean, I suppose unless you’re talking about the band) or just because life moved on and the word became forgotten (for a kickass list of these, check this site out; so many gorgeous words we no longer use! Bonifate! Celeripedean! Diffibulate!)

A zeppelin! You may never say this word in conversation again, unless you’re discussing the band. Doesn’t that make you sad?
I love that sometimes I’ll mention that I found a lovely German word or French word or word in another language that just looks beautiful and Andreas will tell me what he knows about that word in Swedish and sometimes it’s funny that it’s so similar and sometimes there are awesome diacritical marks that make me grin like a looney.
Words just utterly amaze me. In another life, I’m pretty sure I should have been an etymologist. Is that a thing? Is that a job someone does and gets paid for? Why the hell didn’t I go in for that? I would have RULED at that.
What’s that? Did another shooting happen today which caused me to have a half-hour crying jag? Maybe so. Maybe just so. STOP SHOOTING PEOPLE FOR THE LOVE OF PETE. I have people I CARE about in Texas. What if one of my people had been walking by randomly and you shot them? And even if you didn’t shoot any of my people, you shot SOMEONE’S people! Ugh, stop it stop it STOP IT. I’m going to seriously hide under my bed until this all stops. What’s that? It never stops? Well, I guess someone’s going to have to bring me my meals under there, then.
Anyway, I was looking up happy etymology and found the following four things which made me smile. Also, were you aware that like 97% of our words have German origin? I totally made that up, but it’s a lot, yo. This is another reason it’s very important I have a German assassin friend. He can help with things like etymology. And, well, assassining, I suppose.
Assassin
Sample sentence: My dad is quite sure Ken’s an assassin.
According to this fun website, assassin has QUITE the history as a word. Apparently, assassins started out as Muslims, who were hired to attack Christian enemies. (If my dad knew this, he would nod knowingly and say “THAT’S WHAT THEY DO” because he thinks everyone’s a terrorist that’s not a Christian. Believe me, it’s not worth arguing about, you’re not changing his mind.) So in order to get all fired up to perform their assassiny assassinings, the assassins (who, at that time, were not yet KNOWN as assassins!) would toke up on large quantities of hashish, like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland.
The killers therefore were called “hashshashin” (or on another site I found, “hashshashim”) which meant “people who ate or smoked hashish.” See how that sounds like assassin? Is that not the most interesting? The answer to that question is YES IT IS. Also, I think old-timey assassins must have been equal parts more scary and easier to escape. More scary, because they’d be all unpredictable and drugged-up, but also easier to escape because from what I remember from old movies about the people in hash dens, they were all moving in slow-motion and their eyes were half-closed, so you could probably hide under a table and the hashshashin would never find you and then wander off somewhere else and eat some brownies or something. Also, hashish is BAD NEWS. Didn’t you all see that sad movie Return to Paradise with Joaquin Phoenix? ZOMG it made me cry all the tears.

Yes, yes, it looks terrible and I might be the only person in the world who loved this but it makes me SO SAD.
Avocado
Sample sentence: One of my favorite foods ever is an avocado, but now that I know where the name came from, I feel kind of filthy.
According to Wikipedia (dear Wikipedia, before you existed, how did we? Exist, I mean?), avocado comes from the Spanish word aguacate (which I had to research ALL BY MYSELF, thanks, Wikipedia, but because I love you, I did it, and it means, well, avocado) and, in turn, the Spanish word came from the Nahuatl word ahuácatl. And guess what THAT means? Guess. No, seriously, guess. Testicles. AVOCADOS WERE NAMED AFTER TESTICLES YOU GUYS! Is that not the most fun factoid ever? And apparently, since they look SO MUCH LIKE TESTICLES (now, seriously, I’m not saying I have ALL the experience, but I’ve seen some danglies, and…um…they weren’t this big? Or shaped like this? Or, well, hell, green? Was I doing it wrong? Were the guys I was with genetic aberrations?) avocados were worshiped as “the fertility fruit” by the Aztecs. Well, I don’t know about them being “the fertility fruit” but I think they’re sexy as hell. They have a very sexy silky texture in your mouth. So, yeah, I’d totally want to make out if some guy fed me some avocados. I’m not saying I’d turn that down.
Astronaut
Sample sentence: I never wanted to be an astronaut when I was little, because aliens made me nervous, yo.
This isn’t a long one (THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID); it just made me smile. Astronaut is two Greek words combined. “Astron” means “star” and “nautes” means “sailor.” Aw, you GUYS! Star sailor! How awesome is THAT?
Cole Slaw
Sample sentence: sj hates cole slaw the most. (She really does.)
Before I start with this, I just have to say: I am very torn on cole slaw. VERY TORN. I like some cole slaw so, so much – like, I could eat GALLONS of it – and some of it I hate so much I want to throw it out the window. The worst part is: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAKES ME LIKE OR DISLIKE CERTAIN VARIETIES OF COLE SLAW. I don’t think it’s the veggies. I’m pretty sure it’s the dressing, but I don’t know what’s IN the dressing I’m so offended by. Like, I used to love (shut up, I never said I grew up classy) Dairy Queen cole slaw. I could have eaten that for breakfast, lunch and dinner and never gotten tired of that.

When I was a kid, this was my favorite thing to eat in all the world. Dairy Queen fried shrimp, fries, and cole slaw. Guess what? Still kind of is in the top 10.
However! My mom’s cole slaw? I hate that so much it makes my head ache. I can’t even take a bite. And my mom’s cooking is fantastic. I don’t know, either. ANYWAY. Apparently, we stole Dutch words to make our cole slaw: “cole slaw” is just Dutch for “cabbage salad.” But in Dutch, the words are actually “kool sla.” Hee! We should have stuck with that, because I like the idea that the word “kool” would have been in regular rotation as something other than a weird cigarette advertised on the back of the TV Guide.
I wanted to research fun things for Ken like mustard and cheese and euphemism but their history was totally the most blah. That made me sad. I suppose I could make up a fun history for them, like “mustard” was from the Spanish “mus” which means “zesty mouth food” and “tard” which means “yellow condiment” or something but it would be a flat-out lie. I even tried to find the etymology of the word goat for Ken because you’d THINK that would have some sort of fun etymology because goats are the BEST but the most interesting fact I could find is maybe the word has roots in the Slavic or Sanskrit word for “jump” and that’s kind of fun, but mostly the root of the word goat is just various versions of the word “goat” in other languages and that’s not whimsical at ALL. I also wanted to find fun Swedish etymology for Andreas but the internet is so not being helpful. I did find this page of “commonly used German words in English” and it made me laugh and laugh because yes, yes I often drop “Rollmops” or “Flatterzunge” in my day-to-day conversations with people, Wikipedia. (ZOMG Flatterzunge. That’s like my new favorite word.) It’s like you KNOW me! Are you spying on my conversations? You tricky website! (Are you guys using these in your conversations with people? Should I be? Now I feel like I’m left out of some sort of super-fancy conversations.)
I did learn that “fruit” came from the Latin “frui” meaning “to enjoy” which is just rude to those of us who hate fruit. YES. All TWO of us who hate fruit. There are two of us, because I know someone else who doesn’t like it, too. SO THERE.
Thank you, words! You are my favorite and have taken my mind off ickiness for like two whole hours. Well, the avocado thing was a little icky, but also kind of whimsical, so I forgive you, words. I forgive you.
August 15th, 2012 at 12:31 pm
I knew about the root of “assassin,” but I only knew it from reading a Dan Brown novel, so I don’t know if that counts.
Also, Schadenfreude is my favorite adopted German word ever.
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Even if you get your facts from Dan Brown, they still count. I’m not judgey about where facts come from. Promise.
I LOVE SCHADENFREUDE! One of my favorite words of all times, forever!
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August 15th, 2012 at 12:32 pm
I use “zeppelin” all the time. But then… there’s one that flies around here and does tours and stuff. My son kept trying to call it a “blimp”, but we pointed out that no, it’s not a blimp. It’s bigger and has a rigid frame. It’s a zeppelin. (There’s actually a hashtag (HASH!) for this on Twitter now – #ZeppMe. I want to take a tour sooo badly, but it’s way too spendy for me right now.)
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:03 pm
People still use zeppelins? How cool is that? I’d totally take a zeppelin tour, too!
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August 15th, 2012 at 12:52 pm
*reading first sentence of blog post* Oh! Is this going to be a post on etymology? Really?! Yes!
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:03 pm
Heh. It didn’t turn out like I wanted. I thought I’d find a lot more interesting facts. Maybe I was just looking on the wrong sites.
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August 15th, 2012 at 12:58 pm
We use zeppelinare in Swedish all the time. Does that count?
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:02 pm
Does “zeppelinare” mean zeppelin? Or something else?
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:04 pm
No, it does. It’s just Swedified.
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Why do you use it so much? Are there a million zeppelins in your land?
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Come to Sweden! Land of a Million Zeppelins!
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:31 pm
BEST SLOGAN EVER. I’m pretty sure that should go on the banners and flags.
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August 15th, 2012 at 3:24 pm
We need to make this happen. Who do we write all the letters to?
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August 15th, 2012 at 4:39 pm
His Majesty Carl XVI Gustav, king of Sweden.
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Don’t remember ever seeing one actually. *getting misty-eyed* Why haven’t I seen any zeppelins? Am I not allowed? Whyy??
*collects oneself* No, not common at all. It’s just the name for them. Why, what do you call them?
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:29 pm
We call them zeppelins, but there are so few of them around we don’t say it much. We use blimps instead. I’ve never seen one, either, except in old news footage.
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:05 pm
You know it’s called assassinating, don’t you? Good. (I knew you did!)
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:02 pm
Yes, I know. But I like to make new words out of the word “assassin” because it makes me laugh. :)
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:21 pm
Since steampunk is now a popular thing [sigh] zeppelin is probably gaining use.
I sighed because, um, I suppose I’m totally a steampunk hipster, in that I liked it before it was this huge thing?
Bah.
THANK YOU FOR THE SHOUT OUT! I do hate coleslaw. Because I hate cabbage and am allergic to mayonnaise.
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:31 pm
Oh, you’re such a snob! Only liking things no one else like yet! Just say it: “I like steampunk and I’m proud of it!” No, really. Say it!
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:38 pm
I STILL LIKE IT, ANDREAS! I just hate that I got weird looks for a number of years and now it’s suddenly all popular, so no one else gets looks and I look like I’m jumping on the bandwagon when THERE WASN’T ORIGINALLY A BANDWAGON!
<3
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:47 pm
Ah, but that’s the cross we have to bear for finding cool stuff before anyone else. Just think of Beethoven.
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:54 pm
I have this as a tee shirt:
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:03 pm
Oh, I’m SO stealing that! Snap!
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Yes! Do!
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Do you know, I’ve never read a single steampunk thing? I’m kind of confused as to what it even is. I keep meaning to but haven’t gotten around to it yet.
I don’t like cabbage, either. But I don’t mind it if it’s in something good. On its own, though, ugh, no. Allergic to mayonnaise? That makes me sad. I know it makes Ken’s soul die every time I mention it, but I loves me some mayo, yo.
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:11 pm
If you’re only going to read one, make it The Difference Engine. That’s an awesome book! (Although people who I’ve recommended it to don’t always like it..)
It’s an alternate history novel on what could have happened if Babbage had managed to finish his Difference engine (a steam-powered computer) and the computer age came 100 years earlier. And Darwin is made a Lord! (*swoons*)
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Andreas, I’m adding this to my list to read right now!
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:31 pm
I will add it to my (out-of-control-long) list of things to read!
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Ohohoh, now I feel the need to make you a list of things I think you would like.
Wait, you’ve read Jules Verne and HG Wells, haven’t you? Granddaddys of steampunk!
Also, I know you read His Dark Materials, and those are decidedly steampunk in flavour. YOU HAVE AND YOU JUST DIDN’T KNOW IT! <3
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Let’s see. I read 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and Around the World in 80 Days as a kid. No Wells, except saw the terrible movie adaptation of The Island of Dr. Moreau (and he’s a character on Warehouse 13, only he’s a female, which is awesome! A woman wrote the books, and a man took credit for it!)
I LOVE His Dark Materials. Those are steampunk? Huh. I guess I like steampunk, then!
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Oh Madam! You need to read Mr Wells’ ‘War of the world’ right this minute! I can’t believe you haven’t read it! It’s just not right! AND it’s free: http://librivox.org/the-war-of-the-worlds-by-h-g-wells-group/
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:38 pm
No, then I have to read it on my computer screen, and I HATE that. I have to get the book from the library if I’m going to enjoy it properly. Screen-reading and I don’t get along well. It’s the one with the Morlocks, right? I should read it. It’s a classic.
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Nono, Morlocks are in The Time Machine, which you should totally read anyway.
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August 15th, 2012 at 5:26 pm
I am beginning to think there might not be an end to my reading list. Heh.
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:57 pm
No no no no no! It’s the one with the Martians! It’s all very Darwinian and rather harrowing – a steampunk scifi horror novel of sorts. Shockingly realistic for its time.
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August 15th, 2012 at 5:27 pm
Ok, ok, I promise, one day I will read it! Promise, promise!
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August 16th, 2012 at 12:27 am
As it happens, I’m mentioning it in my next blog post.
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August 16th, 2012 at 9:38 am
I like the sound of “my next blog post” because it means there will soon be another blog post from you, yippee!
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August 16th, 2012 at 11:54 am
I know, I know. I’m a sluggish and lazy writer.
But I’ve got a good reason: it’s because I’m a sluggish and lazy person.
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August 16th, 2012 at 1:27 pm
You are not! You are busy! You have a family and a job! I have…um…a cat!
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August 15th, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Dear SJ, I also hate cole slaw. Cabbage is icky.
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August 15th, 2012 at 5:39 pm
Kate said she hated it on Twitter, too! I really only like it on rare occurrences. Cabbage and I are not often friends.
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August 15th, 2012 at 5:47 pm
Dear Heather,
<3
That is all.
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:23 pm
Well, avocados sort of look like testicles, in that they’re all knobbly (no pun intended) on the outside and squishy and tender on the inside.
Side note: I hate avocados with a passion, so if they do represent male genitalia I guess it sort of confirms that I’m a straight guy.
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:29 pm
I LOVE avocados, but can’t eat them anymore. I’m so sad that I’ve developed all of these late in life food allergies.
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:59 pm
I get why sj can’t have avocados – but you hate avocados? Really? That makes me sad! They’re SO GOOD!
I guess if you’re being generous, they kind of look like testicles? Maybe I’ve just seen some really nice testicles, but I don’t remember any of them looking avocado-textured.
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:16 pm
It’s that ‘silky texture’ – it grosses me out. And the look of testicles will be seriously affected by the ambient room temperature. If it’s cold, they do look like avocados (just not green. Or that big.)
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:30 pm
This may well be the oddest conversation I’ve ever had in my comments, ever. Even odder than the time we all discussed sneaky fuckerism. I guess the issue is I never hooked up with anyone in the cold. Only in warmer climes.
I love that texture! Wait, do you hate tofu, too? And…what else is kind of like that. Pudding?
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:57 pm
I will cry if Andreas hates pudding.
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August 15th, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Oh no! Don’t cry! I’ll eat some pudding – promise!
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August 15th, 2012 at 5:26 pm
I don’t know anyone that hates pudding. Well, my mom. She hates all desserts, though, so is therefore suspect.
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Cabbage is called ‘kål’ in Swedish as well, which is pronounced sort of like your ‘cole’, not like ‘cool’. Unfortunately. We don’t have the word ‘sla’ though, we use ‘sallad’ like proper people.
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:57 pm
I want words with circles over them, Andreas. WHY CAN’T WE HAVE WORDS WITH CIRCLES OVER THEM?
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:26 pm
*overly familiar* Don’t worry: you can have some of mine. Here’s one: ‘ånger’. It means ‘regret’. Sort of. And here’s another one: ‘åra’, which means oar.
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:28 pm
ånger means regret? Aw! Well, wait, what means anger, then?
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:35 pm
‘ilska’ is Swedish for ‘anger’. Or (old fashioned) ‘vrede’. As in ‘wrath’.
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August 15th, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Ooh, “vrede.” I like that the most. Although “ilska” is pretty awesome as well.
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:36 pm
(I did know about the ‘astronaut’ bit. And ‘cosmonauts’ (space sailors). I did however just recently learn about the Chinese ‘Taikong ren’ which means space men.)
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:57 pm
I like words that mean evocative things. I’m a nerd like that. :)
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Oh! Oh! I’ve got one: until recently, Batman was called ‘Läderlappen’ in Swedish, which literally means ‘piece of leather’. The logic however is that it also means (meant) bat. Nowadays we always use the word ‘fladdermus’* instead though, which directly translates to ‘flapping mouse’.
* The Swedish ‘fladdermus’ is closely related to the German ‘fledermaus’ which I always use instead for comical effect. As is: ‘die fledermaus’! (Actually, that is only funny in my head. I probably shouldn’t post comments whilst drinking Cointreau.)
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:45 pm
To clarify: we use the word ‘fladdermus’ to represent the animal. When talking about the nocturnal avenger we now use the English Batman, which makes me a little sad. Aw.
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August 15th, 2012 at 1:55 pm
I love the word “fledermaus!” It always reminds me of Die Fledermaus from The Tick cartoon. Also, it just sounds awesome to say. FLEDERMAUS. Doesn’t it just sound awesome in your mouth?
I don’t know what I like best – Batman being called a piece of leather, or a flapping mouse. I like both of those better than him being called the English Batman, though. That’s boring.
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August 15th, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Ha! There is another person, besides me, who hates avocados! Thank you Andreas!! I can’t stand the texture, OR the flavor. Ugh.
And don’t get all high and mighty on us, Miss Amy! YOU hate FRUIT!! And there’s a zillion different kinds of fruit, so that’s a lot of hatin! Andreas and I just hate one little, ugly, squishy, slimy thing. So there!
;-)
BTW – I LOVE ETYMOLOGY, TOO! You are not alone in your passion! (Although, I’m not *quite* as excited about umlauts and other word ‘decorations’ as you are.)
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August 15th, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Yes! We should form a club! The ‘We hate avocados’ club or something. We will need a logo. And a theme tune.
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August 15th, 2012 at 5:20 pm
Oooh! A club! Yes!! This could be huge!! :-)
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August 15th, 2012 at 5:28 pm
I’m not judging in the least. I don’t like a lot of foods that are supposedly “normal.”
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August 15th, 2012 at 5:38 pm
I kind of wish I actually liked avocados, just so I could make dip and tell people that it’s testicle dip.
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August 15th, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Hee! I never keep avocados around long enough to dip-ify them. I just eat them cut into slices with a little salt. NOM.
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August 15th, 2012 at 5:46 pm
Yes, that’s the best way! Also, they are awesome in spinach salads and on cheeseburgers (with bacon).
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August 16th, 2012 at 9:38 am
I love them in salads and on sandwiches, Sam I Am. Yum.
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August 16th, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Etymology is very interesting. My visual communication class was one of my favorite classes in college: which dealt more with symbols, etc. but still had some delving into language and how the meanings derived from words change. Imagine if 30 years from now, curse words now are no longer vulgar? or if they weren’t a long time ago? The avocado meaning made me laugh. I also thought what the caterpillar was smoking was a hookah. But I could be wrong. :)
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August 16th, 2012 at 1:27 pm
No, the caterpillar’s totally smoking a hookah. I was just being funny.
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August 16th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Hahaha…*facepalm at myself*
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August 16th, 2012 at 4:22 pm
No, no. I probably should have been more clear. No worries.
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August 16th, 2012 at 9:45 pm
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August 16th, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Ooh, THIS looks fun. I’m so watching this when I get a chance! Thank you!
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August 16th, 2012 at 9:54 pm
It covers the history, origin and even all etymology of the English language. And the best word ever has to be pedant. It means intellectual douche who always corrects people on the correct usage of facts and figures and words. The fact that the word has french roots is what makes it so much more delicious to use. Like Schadenfreude captures German culture so does Pedant with the french.
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