Let’s talk about happy things today. We all need some happy, right? Right.
Right after the Aurora shootings last week (shh, I know that’s not happy, we’re getting to the happy) there was a petition circulated online to get Christian Bale to visit the victims in the hospital. I saw that and thought, “Nah, that’s not going to happen. Christian Bale’s kind of an asshat.” Because remember when he was all shouty on that movie set that time and all “Am I going to walk around and rip your effing lights down, in the middle of a scene? Then why the eff are you walking right through? Ah-da-da-dah, like this in the background?” So I was fairly sure that Christian “Ranty McRant Rant” Bale wasn’t going to make a trip to Colorado and visit people in the hospital. He was probably too busy being angry and throwing shit, I don’t know.
I was pleasantly surprised to see this not too long afterward.
He not only went to Aurora and visited with the victims and the staff of the hospitals, and went to the memorial site to pay his respects, he did this not at the direction of his production company, but on his own: “‘Mr. Bale is there as himself, not representing Warner Brothers,’ said an assistant to Susan Fleishman, the executive vice president for corporate communications at Warner Bros.”
That’s class, right there. Yeah, sure, it’s good PR for him – especially as someone who needs some good PR after that ranty old rant – but he didn’t have to do it. And he still did. It had to be hard for him, but he did it anyway. This had to mean a lot to the victims. PR op or not, it was a nice move on his part.
I meant to talk about this back when it came out, but, well, you know, life got in the way and shit. And now I have all the time! And remembered it! You probably all saw this. You should watch it again. It is infinitely cheering, and also makes me a little sad because aw, childhood!
Also, it’s nice that this is the first example where autotune didn’t make me want to gouge my ears out with chopsticks. Also, aw, remember Daniel Striped Tiger? I loved him.
I did not love Henrietta Pussycat as much, because she was all “meow meow MEOW meow” and that made me nervous.
I also used to be petrified – PETRIFIED – of Lady Elaine Fairchilde and her strange facial issues which now that I’m old I think are rosacea.
Lady Elaine had a weapon called the Boomerang Toomerang Soomerang. Why did anyone in a magical land need a weapon? Oh, wait, it wasn’t supposed to be a weapon? Well, it always scared the shit out of me.
I never understood why creepy Lady Elaine had to be in the Land of Makebelieve because she was very obviously some sort of scary witch, and the rest of those people were nice enough. I mean, King Friday was kind of a dick, but royalty often are that way. There’s not a lot you can do about that. They’re all privileged and such. It comes with the crown.
In looking back at this, without realizing it, Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood really was an earlier version of Pee Wee’s Playhouse, wasn’t it? I got my first dose of severe weirdness super-early.
Also, if you happen to go to the Mister Rogers IMDb page, and look at the quotes, you might get the giggles about how sexually-charged some of the dialogue is, accidentally. It was a quieter time, my little marshmallow peeps. A gentler time. A time in which you could say things like “insert it in my hole!” and no one thought twice about it. Now, it makes us giggle hysterically. Is is better now? Worse? I don’t know. I sure do like my cell phone, and there are a lot more good television shows on to watch than there were when I was a kid. (I used to be SO MAD when the television went off the air at the end of the day. Television all day long = proof that things are going to be ok. Especially for those of us who cannot sleep.)
Let’s see. What else is happy. It really has been a little-black-raincloud week, hasn’t it? It’s not just me. Other people are noticing this, too. I think there’s something in the air. Do you know who I blame? Well, do you?
YES. He has put a happiness-hit out on the WORLD. Or just on all of my people, because he knows I’ve been mocking him. Well! This will not stand, I can tell you that right now. DO YOU HEAR ME TOOTHY? IT WILL NOT STAND. It is not MY fault your wife left you because you’re a crazyperson and she doesn’t want anything more to do with you and she took away your child and now you’re dating some other woman like FIVE SECONDS LATER and she looks like she was genetically created in a lab to the specifications of “generic pretty ethnic girl.”
Toothy! Why can’t you be alone for like five minutes? What is wrong with you that you can’t have five minutes of time to yourself? Also, how have you put a spell on me and my people and made us all miserable? Well, maybe not ALL, I still have some people who are really cheerful, but they’re always cheerful. But a lot of people are super-grumpy! Because I think you’ve hit them with a JOYSUCKER RAY of some sort! Probably something that was created by your cult. Listen, you cut that out. I know you’re mad at me, but there’s no reason to take it out on my people, too. CUT THAT OUT TOOTHY MCTOOTH-TOOTH.
To cheer us ALL up, the kickass Cara sent me the following tweet earlier which made me beyond happy:
— Cara V. (@fictionalchick) July 25, 2012
YAY HONEY BADGER! Not a single shit was given. NOT EVEN A SINGLE SHIT.
OK, off I go. I know! This is so short! Sorry, cinnamon rolls, have many many many things to do. Job searching and such. Errands. Have to make myself leave the house. Starting working at my part-time job full-time tomorrow. Love all your faces. Happy weekend!