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I am a very good guest; I very seldom spill. Well, on anything expensive, anyway.

I know, two posts from me today? WHAT IS HAPPENING THE WORLD IS ENDING.

I guest posted over at Ken’s tea blog today. But I can’t reblog it because it’s not WordPress. DAMMIT KEN.

So instead I have to link you. THIS TIME YOU HAVE TO CLICK. It’s totally worth it, and very funny. Not just from me, either. Ken put editorial notes in that made me laugh until I cried, no joke.

It is a very important story about tea, and peer-pressure, and the power of friendship. You life will be FULLER AND RICHER for having read it. OK, I’m totally exaggerating, but it was so much fun to write, I can’t even.

Here, I’ll give you some highlights:

“… any fried fish at TGIFridays due to the food-poisoning incident of 1999. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID TGIFRIDAYS.”

“I’m not sure that your tea is supposed to smell like potpourri, but it did. Like floral licorice potpourri. The ingredients list says this tea has a lot of things in it like cinnamon and orange peel and anise and vanilla and cloves and cardamom and licorice. These things are all also present in potpourri, so that’s a little worrisome. Also, it has not escaped my notice there is no tea in this tea.”

“After the water boiled all over the place, I poured it over the teabag. Which floated to the top like Rose’s piece of wood in Titanic. I don’t know if that’s supposed to happen. So I totally smushed it down with a spoon and anchored it. That’s smart, right?”

“I took a sip. It was very hot so I burned my mouth. ALL FOR SCIENCE.”

Are you duly teased? You should be. This is a very good post. Also, Ken totally edited it. I KNOW. Someone EDITED one of my POSTS. I know SOME of you are thinking “Amy, you’ve needed an editor since you started here.” Well, you got your wish. Ken is a very good editor.

Also, there’s a photo of me with crazy eyes and hair and a zombie t-shirt.

Go go go! It’s super-awesome-fun!

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

18 responses to “I am a very good guest; I very seldom spill. Well, on anything expensive, anyway.

  • sj

    I’m not clicking because I READ IT ALREADY! It made me laugh, and Ken’s editorial asides were awesome.

    Also, I want that zombie shirt.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I got it from http://www.blogography.com – I don’t see that he’s selling shirts right now, boo! I have a couple of his shirts. His drawings always make me laugh. It says “Zombies ate my brain” and “Ack” on the front and I love it to distraction and wear it whenever I have a restful day. It’s my comfy shirt.

      Weren’t Ken’s asides great? “Ed. note: White tea is a thing” made me laugh so hard I cried. I like to imagine my internet people reading things I’ve written and just shaking their heads bemusedly at me. This made me imagine that ALL THE WAY THROUGH. :)

      Like

  • MsDarkstar the Creatrix

    Ok, I did the clicky. Because I like you. And it was totally worth it.

    It’s really pretty much Lisa’s fault I went to Teavana… I was only searching for the tea monkeys but somehow walked out with tea. I had a teapot already (and then I got another one for Christmas this year).

    Several years ago, I had an affair with Celestial Seasonings but I ended up having to get into caffeine because I am woefully bad at getting to bed at a reasonable hour (she said, as she typed a comment at 11PM…on a Sunday) and there just are not a number of teas that will give you the necessary caffeine to sit through hours of meetings without lapsing into snoring which is considered bad form.

    Now, one thing that I have to tell you I noticed from your post was something about no sugar? Are you SERIOUS? No sugar? Is that like…no high fructose corn syrup or like no sugar in any form so you don’t eat any baked goods, either? Are you one of those people who makes everything from scratch? I mean, I don’t eat Hamburger Helpless anymore (which was one of the few things the Wasband could cook), but I eat things like canned soup and some frozen dinner stuff (no, not TV dinners, which are what Satan serves, but like Amy’s Mexican Casserole because it’s full of whole-grainy goodness and promotes things like regular bowel movements (I’m SO SO sorry for mentioning “bowels” in a comment on your blog…) But… NO SUGAR? What about Chocolate? Do you honestly not eat chocolate? I’m sorry, I’m feeling a little faint….

    Where was I? Anyhow, I went to Teavana and got tea and then got more tea for Xmas (along with a second, really cute, teapot) and I want to be a tea drinker, I really do…And once I get it made, I enjoy it. But it’s a lot of freakin’ WORK to make tea (tea that is not LIPTON, which…ewww…)

    Also, I had an incident when my mom and daughter came to visit wherein I told this story and my mom (who was not even THERE) looked at me point blank and told me it never happened. Um, YES, it DID happen and I remember it happening and there are a bunch of things that I vivdly remember that my mother completely denies ever happened. She is delusional. No, seriously, there are things that happened when I was a kid which I am *NOT* just having some sort of false memory about and my mother completely DOES NOT REMEMBER them happening. Of course, I spent most of my childhood smiling when in public because “we do not air our dirty laundry in public” and even though there was an assload of bad, horrible crap that happened in my house, people were SHOCKED when my mom and stepdad who “always seemed so happy” got a divorce. Eventually the pasted on smile cannot be kept up…

    Anyhoozles… I am not a fan of tea that tastes like potpourri. I have liked pretty much everything I’ve gotten from Teavana. But I mostly order from them online because it is an ORDEAL to go to one of their shops… AND they want you to buy, like, $100 of tea PLUS a $200 cast iron teapot PLUS $200 of proper tea cups and saucers and GERMAN ROCK SUGAR and I don’t have that kind of money. However, I also will not settle for Lipton anymore.

    And, once again, sorry for the mini-novel comment…

    P.S. I’m hoping eventually for one of my blogs to be good enough to make it into your blogroll. Perhaps you can guest-post on one (or more) of them!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I can’t have sugar because I’m diabetic. So I suppose I could have sugar, but it does very bad things to be, and my doctor yells at me when I go in for checkups. I can have a little, and have to be careful about it.

      Like

      • MsDarkstar

        Ahhh, ok… I thought maybe you were one of those SugarBusters folks. Cuz the “sugar is teh evil” people skeeve me just a tich. But diabetics are exempted because your bodies are just being ornery. Hey pancreas… get on the ball! *ahem* I am sorry, I did not mean to yell at your pancreas. It’s Monday morning. I obviously need some coffee.

        Like

  • elaine4queen

    why oh why oh why isn’t EVERYBODY doing EVERYTHING on wordpress?

    why?

    that is all. (see how easy it was for me to make this comment, it could be the leastest comment because no catchpas or signing in with an ID or any of that business. win.)

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      AGREED. Stupid Blogspot. One of the best things I ever did, switch over. I love WordPress so much.

      I notice Blogger tried to update their interface recently, and it looks a little better, but it’s still no match for WordPress.

      Like

    • MsDarkstar

      I confess to having Blogspot blogs (as well as WordPress blogs) and that’s partly because I cannot afford a dozen domain names and WordPress hosted blogs do not allow any sort of advertising and they consider promoting the blogs of others as advertising, ergo, I have some Blogspot blogs.

      I know…. I’ll never be able to hang out with the cool kids…

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    I made three unsuccessful attempts to comment on your guest post at Ken’s blog, until I finally managed to post an anonymous comment; I really hate Blogspot!

    Anyway, congrats on trying tea for the first time in many years (even though out wasn’t actually tea)! I usually add some artificial sweetener to my tea too, which I believe is allowed.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I had NO IDEA Rooibos wasn’t tea! I feel cheated. I have to try real tea now. Just to see if I can do it. It’s like jumping out of an airplane for me, or climbing a mountain. It’s THERE so I have to DO it.

      I like that Splenda is allowed. If you say it is, I say it is, too.

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    Oh, another thing: if you’re using tea bags, I’d probably recommend against infusing it for the full amount of time printed on the box. It will become VERY strong and bitter. When I use tea bags (Shh! Don’t tell Ken!), I only let them infuse for less than a minute. Although, if you’re using milk and sweetener, you could make it a bit stronger.

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    • lucysfootball

      Oh, really? I was worried, after the first failed experiment, if I didn’t let it infuse the whole time, it would be so weak! I’m a very good rule-follower when it comes to food items. Hmm. Will have to remember that when I try this again.

      Like

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