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Especially at night, I worry over situations.

I like this photo because crazy eyes? CHECK.

I have been an insomniac since I was about 13. That’s almost 25 years of very, very poor sleep. In case anyone’s counting. Is anyone counting? OH WAIT I AM. Because I have all the time for it, you see. ALL THE TIME. Because I CAN’T EFFING SLEEP.

I come by it naturally. Every single person on my dad’s mom’s side of the family, going back to…wherever they go back to (I don’t know where, we’re apparently in some sort of ancestry witness protection, because whenever I ask, people just say, “CANADA” and then get shifty-eyes, and when I say, “Well, there must have been something BEFORE Canada, or are we Native Canadian people, or what, exactly?” they clam up and start talking about the weather or snowmobiling or hunting or something. They’re shady, those upstaters. This is QUITE A MYSTERY.)

My dad can’t sleep. His mom couldn’t sleep. None of her siblings could sleep. Her dad couldn’t sleep. I can only assume one of HIS parents couldn’t sleep, and there we go, back to the wilds of Canada or wherever my ancestors are from. I’m going to pretend Italy. Let’s pretend Italy, ok? I’d like to be pretend-Italian. It would explain my love of carbs and insistence on talking with my hands. OOH OR MAYBE ATLANTIS. Yep. That would totally explain all the secrecy. I’m going to start telling people my ancestors are the last of the people from the lost city of Atlantis. This is going to be GREAT.

My main problem is, I can’t turn off my brain. You read my blog. See all this crap? This is not just how I write. THIS IS HOW I THINK. My brain is going a million miles an hour and it’s all Ricochet Rabbit bing-bing-binging around in there. If there were a way to get that all to just STOP, to go to static like the TV used to sign off at the end of the day? That would be great. But brains aren’t like television sets from the 70s. They DON’T EVER STOP WORKING. It’s not even nightmares. It’s that I can’t get my brain to turn off long enough to get to sleep in the first place. I’d WELCOME the nightmares. At least that means I’m SLEEPING.

I have sleeping pills. Well, here’s the odd thing. I went through a million sleeping pills, and none of them worked. First, they tried to do herbal and did the melatonin thing. That worked for a little while, but then I had to keep upping the dose until I was taking about ten of those things a night and they weren’t having much of an effect and when I told the doctor that she was all, “Um…yeah, that probably isn’t a good idea, let’s stop that.” Then she said to try over-the-counter medication, but not to bother with something fancy, just get Benedryl. That did nothing other than make me fall asleep for about an hour, then I’d be awake, and very, very dry. Because it’s for allergies. So it dries you all up. So mostly I was all dried up for a week or two. Not working. Then some herbal calcium supplement, which again, worked for a week or so, then my body was all, “WE’RE HIP TO THIS JIVE” and right back to staring at the ceiling at 3am.

Then she tried precription sleeping pills, but the first couple did nothing at all. NOTHING. It was like taking sugar pills. Which they might have been, I don’t know. I might have been in a whole medical test situation that I didn’t know about.

Then she got frustrated and said, “Here, try these” and wrote me a prescription for something else. When I asked what it was (probably between yawning) she said “Well, that’s a funny story. It was originally marketed as an antidepressant. But people who were taking it as such remained depressed, and then some of them started killing themselves? So doctors knew it wasn’t actually a very good antidepressant and probably just about the worst, actually, so they don’t really prescribe it as that anymore. But a side effect of it is, it makes you VERY DROWSY. So now we use it as a last-ditch effort for people who can’t sleep.” When I asked her if she really thought it best she called that a “funny” story she thought about it and said, “No, probably not.”

Yes, I realize I’m taking pills that failed in their original goal. That’s ok. Everyone deserves a second chance, even pharmaceuticals.

I’ve been taking it for almost ten years now. Up until recently, it’s worked fairly well. FAIRLY well.

Here’s a normal person’s night of sleep:

Gets sleepy
Gets ready for bed
Gets into bed
Falls asleep
Stays asleep
Wakes up feeling, for the most part, refreshed

Here’s MY night of “sleep”:

Gets close to bedtime; remember to take your pill so you’ll get sleepy
Wait for an hour for the pill to get you sleepy enough to want to attempt to sleep
Get into bed
Lie there for anywhere from half an hour to an hour tossing and turning, kicking Dumbcat out because he is stepping on you with sharp feet and refuses to JUST STOP IT, thinking about EVERY BAD THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU EVER plus ALL THE THINGS WEIGHING ON YOUR MIND plus ALL THE PEOPLE YOU FORCE YOURSELF TO NEVER THINK ABOUT DURING DAYLIGHT HOURS
Fall asleep (most of the time)
Wake up 3-5 times a night, randomly, and repeat the whole process
Wake up in the morning CRANKY AS HELL and WANTING TO PUNCH A KINDERGARTENER IN THE FACE AREA

(From this, I think you can see why me ever getting married or sharing my bed with anyone but Dumbcat would be a very, very, VERY bad idea. Also, I don’t like anyone touching me when I’m trying to sleep? Because it’s like work, and that’s distracting. I mean, sure, fine, let’s have some sex, that’s nice, that’s good, but then why don’t you go sleep elsewhere because there’s no WAY I’d get to sleep with someone touching and breathing and being all up in my space when I wanted to toss and turn and huff and puff and look at the clock and go “ARGH!” and such.)

At this point, I’ve gotten used to it. There’s no point in NOT getting used to it. It’s not like it’s going to get any better. I know I’m always exhausted; I’ve been that way for the majority of my life. It does make me sad when people say they’re looking forward to bed, though. The only times in my life I’ve slept without a problem are when I’m sick, when I’m depressed, or when I’m not supposed to (in class, when someone’s talking to me, in movie theaters – pretty much when I’m bored and should be paying attention to something.)

The only, only, ONLY good thing is that sometimes I come up with kickass ideas when I’m in bed unable to sleep and it’s 3am. And not all of them are harebrained schemes! I know, right? I know you’re probably wondering, why don’t I get out of bed and do something? I am ETERNALLY OPTIMISTIC. I keep hoping if I stay there, I’ll fall asleep – and even a little sleep is better than none. If I get up, I know I’ll never get back to bed, and then I have no one but myself to blame when I feel like shit the next day.

So anyway, here is last night. Ready? Last night was a BLAST.

The new thing is: panic attacks. Does anyone have those? They are a TREAT.

My fight or flight is ALL EFFED UP, you guys.

They’re LIKE a heart attack, only my doctor assures me they’re not. So, that’s nice. You can assure your BRAIN that you’re not having one. HOWEVER. Your heart is beating a mile a minute; your chest hurts; your arm hurts; your neck hurts; and sometimes, SOMETIMES, your limbs twitch uncontrollably and if you’re half-asleep when they hit, YOU SHOUT. Yep. They are the prettiest things in the WORLD, panic attacks are. They were fun when I had roommates, who often thought I was being murdered in the middle of the night, not just panicking over things that weren’t real.

I haven’t had one in a while. I’ve got a lot on my mind. Work stuff. Personal stuff. I’m on stuff-overload. Last night, Panic Attack Time! Wahoo!

So I went to bed EARLY. Well, for me. Because Mondays at work kick my ass and I wanted to face it with ALL THE INTREPIDNESS. Also, I had gotten less and less sleep over the last week. It went from 6 to 5 to 4 hours of sleep over the week. I wanted to get ALL the sleep. So I was just curled up for about fifteen minutes when PANIC ATTACK. The worst one EVER.

“I’m fairly sure I’m dying right now,” my brain said.

“Don’t be absurd, it’s a panic attack,” my brain replied. “You KNOW these can’t kill you.”

“But has my chest ever hurt THIS much? Or my ARM? Also, I bet the morgue is FULL of people who ignored these VERY SIGNS and then their cat ate their face because they are Forever Alone. I think I should call 911.”

“The doctor TOLD you these are panic attacks. You KNOW they are. Do you really want to be the asshole who went to the hospital for a panic attack? Also, your copay is $100. Kiss your laptop fund goodbye, sis.”

SHIT.

So this went on for three hours.

Then I decided, because I was SO TIRED and also WEEPY, that it was the BED’S fault. So I went to sleep on the couch.

Dumbcat was on the couch. He was VERY EXCITED it was playtime.

“Meow? Meow? MEOW?”

“No Dumbcat not playtime let’s sleep so tired” I garbled at him and flopped on the couch.

More panic attacks, but this time with the added “over twenty-pound cat walking to and fro on me because he thought I was a bridge and this was super-fun-playtime and he was KING OF THE MOUNTAIN and I WAS THE MOUNTAIN” accouterment.

Eventually, I guess I fell asleep. I opened my eyes and was SO EXCITED. Had I conquered it? Surely I had! The BED was the culprit! That damn bed. Was it time to get up? Was it time for work?

Yeah. Twenty minutes had passed. It wasn’t even light out yet.

I went through “panic attack panic attack PANIC ATTACK sleep for twenty minutes” a few more times, then decided I needed some aspirin because the guy in the Bayer commercial told me at the first sign of a heart attack to take some. And since I wasn’t going to the hospital for what might or might not be a panic attack, I was going to take some aspirin to stop the heart attack panic attack so at least when they did the autopsy they’d know I was paying attention to the Bayer commercials. So I got out the aspirin bottle but it has a childproof cap. You know. Because of all my children. NO not the soap opera. So I got it open in a feat of strength that was heretofore unknown in my household only to spill half the bottle on the bathroom floor. Then I couldn’t decide – could aspirin kill cats? Or was that ibuprofen? Did I care enough about Dumbcat and his middle-of-the-night foraging to clean up all these aspirin?

I did. I got on my hands and knees and cleaned them all up on the off chance it would save my cat’s life. YOU OWE ME DUMBCAT.

Then I realized I could have just shut the bathroom door until the next morning and just started BAWLING because I was SO EFFING TIRED SERIOUSLY.

Then I somehow ended up back in my bed. I think I’d forgotten my bed was conspiring to keep me from ever sleeping again? I’m not sure. But in a strange turn of events that I can’t quite explain, I fell asleep with my HEAD near the FOOT of the bed and my feet on the pillow. With no pillow. Or sheets.

At this point in the night it was 5am. I get up at 6:20. So, all in all, I got an hour and twenty minutes of uninterrupted sleep, and two or three 20-minute catnaps, while being walked on by a cat. A VERY DUMB CAT.

Added up: a little over two hours of sleep.

And Mondays are HELL at work during tax season.

So, I was a zombie today. I ran into a wall; I answered questions with the wrong answers (and, not just KIND OF the wrong answers – I was asked, “What’d you do this weekend?” and I said, “Thanks, I got it at Rite Aid,” and when they said, “What?” I said, “The movie was good.” Those kind of conversations happened more than once today), I started crying when a very nice coworker told me it was ok if I left some work for the next day (not because he was giving me permission – I was going to leave it anyway – but because he was BEING SO NICE), I got a call from Adam to Christine, and called Christine, and said, “I have Christine on the line for you, Adam” to her, which was classy and not at all word salad.

My dad is very “WHAT WILL WE DO TO FIX THIS PROBLEM” when I tell him things, so his first thing was, “well, it’s the blogging’s fault, quit the blogging” and I was all, “um, no, can I quit work? I’d sleep like a baby then” and he said I could not. Dammit. My mom said warm milk. WHO DOES THAT. Ugh. I only like very cold milk. THAT’S WHY YOU KEEP IT IN A FRIDGE.

I’ve TRIED all the normal fixes. I know, people love to give insomnia advice. It’s very nice, it is. But when it’s been happening for so long, and when the nights are so damn long and dark and seem endless and all you can think of is how bad the next day will be because your brain will be mush – all the advice in the world can’t fix that. Andreas wrote a very helpful post about how to combat sleeplessness not too long ago, and I loved it – but I’ve tried all the things. None of them work once my head hits the pillow and my brain starts being a hamster on a wheel.

I’m thinking lobotomy, right? Because that would turn off ALL THE THOUGHTS. Good idea? We like that? Yes? Wait, what, we don’t? Ugh, dammit, fine.

Wish me all the best. That bed’s giving me a look I don’t like. A very, “It’s you and me, buckaroo, and only one of us is winning this one,” look. I think it underestimates how very much I like to win. Also, how bone-tired I am. Dumbcat, you’re staying in the living room tonight. Sorry, buddy. Your feet are too sharp and I don’t feel like playing King of the Mountain tonight.

(UPDATE: This was written Monday night, right before bed. I SLEPT LIKE A CHAMP. Didn’t wake up ONCE. Fell asleep the minute my head hit the pillow. Woke up and Dumbcat was sleeping on my face and even THAT didn’t wake me up. BED. I totally conquered you. WIN! WIN!)

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

45 responses to “Especially at night, I worry over situations.

  • zippy219

    Well you can tell your Dad that it is most definitely NOT the blogs fault. Airing your frustrations must have helped and allowed you to get all the sleep last night. Yay! Can’t imagine how frustrated you must feel.

    And I totally agree about sleeping with someone. The sex part is the best but then it’s time to go home or to another room. I need my space!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      It is frustrating, for sure. And I get weepy. I HATE crying around my coworkers. They don’t deal well with emotions.

      I know, how do people sleep in the same bed all the time? Maybe if I really liked the guy, I don’t know. I haven’t met a guy I liked more than a good night’s sleep in…ever, I guess.

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    I’m so glad you got some sleep finally! Sleeplessness is the worst. And I do believe it’s stress-induced, so leaving your job WOULD help. For a while. Until you ran out of money.

    Also, I’m sorry my advice didn’t help (thanks for the link-back!); I’ll do some more research in the future.

    (And this is probably not the place to mention that I usually can fall asleep anywhere, at the drop of a hat. But I do. I could probably fall asleep hanging upside down by my foot, Odin-like (although without having ravens picking out my left eye – I kind of like my left eye)).

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Don’t blame your advice! It was EXCELLENT advice. I’m just broken beyond advice’s reach, I think.

      I totally have a mental picture of you sleeping upside down now. Like a bat. Hee!

      Like

  • becomingcliche

    It seemed kind of mean to click “like.” Please interpret my “like” as “I can totally relate,” and not “I find it amusing that you’re climbing the walls at night when you should be getting some rest.”

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Hee! Don’t worry, I’m unoffended. :)

      Also, I am so behind on blogs, but finally discovered yours yesterday! Yay!! So good! Added to my RSS & will be reading from now on!

      Like

  • msdarkstar

    I have the insomnia, too. And the panic attacks. And thinking about every damn thing that you never, ever, EVER want to think of whilst you are TRYING to get to sleep. Like “is my cat, who is sleeping on my head, putting those cat nematode things in my brain so I can’t smell cat pee so she can pee on my clothes and make the other public transit riders label me ‘Cat Pee Lady’?” (I am pretty sure that is punctuated incorrectly and that the Punctuation Police are shaking their heads in disgust).

    I don’t have insurance so I haven’t had anything pharmaceutical to help me sleep in forever. Melatonin gives me wicked nightmares. Benadryl doesn’t work for me AND gives me a wicked “hangover” feeling the next morning.

    Sadly, writing my blog always seems to make me sleepy so maybe if you go and read my blog at bedtime it will have a soporific effect on you and buy you a few minutes of sleep.

    My main problem is that I get home at night and then have a ton of things I need to do and then it’s 2AM and I have to get up at 5:30AM and so I go lay down to sleep and my brain is all “no! I WON’T!” like an unruly 4 year old about shutting down so I can sleep so it throws a tantrum in the form of something like “Hey, remember that time that you did something hideously embarrassing? No? Well, let me replay it for you in super slow motion so you can be mortified all over again… and I’m going to keep that up until 3 minutes before your alarm goes off at which time you will finally, blissfully, fall asleep… Enjoy that 2.5 minutes, it’s all you’re getting!!”

    Warm milk? No thanks… 1st ewww and second… ummm… yeah… *ahem* wicked gas. I do like a bowl of cereal before bed sometimes which, about every 4th or 5th time buys me a few hours of sleep but most of the time just adds more cellulite to my hips and thighs.

    Also, in re: your update… IN YOUR FACE DAD!! Blogging totally makes you sleepy! Sorry, didn’t mean to dis your Dad, but I am sure that it was JUST the sort of thing he already believes us “internet people” do.

    Like

  • blogginglily

    Lily is a kindergartener. You are forbidden from waking in her presence.

    Like

  • sj

    Same exact thing here, minus the dumbcat, but adding the baby sleeping next to our bed.

    I have to take a book to bed with a little nightlight so that I can read until I have no idea what I’ve just read, at which point I turn the light off and fall asleep.

    Also, I have to go to bed at least an hour before husband does, because there’s no way I can fall asleep if he’s there next to me, asleep in two minutes. Then I’m filled with rage because HE’S SLEEPING AND I’M NOT, which makes me even less sleepy. He tells me all the time to not read before bed and I’d get more sleep. NO! IF I READ, I DON’T HAVE TO FOCUS ON EVERY HORRIBLE THING I’VE EVER DONE!

    Oh, but with the baby in the room, I wake up every time she rolls over and have to pretend I’m still asleep because if I don’t, she thinks it’s playtime and starts with her “OHHHH NOOOOOO! OOOOOOKAYYYYYYYY! WE GE’UP?!” chant. :(

    Like

    • msdarkstar (@msdarkstar)

      OMG… the “dude falls asleep instantly” thing is infuriating. And is one of the reasons I can never again share the bed. Because eventually they figure out that the cottonmouth they experience is because you’ve been putting a pillow over their blissfully sleeping face. I mean, ummm, IF you did that they might figure it out… *ahem*

      Also… babies = destroyers of sleep. And then when they start dating (when they are older… babies don’t date…) there you are again, losing sleep worrying because you remember what you were like at that age.

      Like

      • sj

        This is why I insist on going to bed at least an hour before he does. “No, no, no – you stay down here and watch History Channel or play CoD or something, I’ll just be going to bed. Yeah, yeah, kiss kiss.”

        Our oldest will be 13 this fall and had a playdate type thing with a girl down the street yesterday. He was 12 minutes late getting home and I was ready to walk up and down the street calling his name to embarrass the hell out of him, but luckily (for him), he came running up just as I was putting my hoodie on.

        Like

        • lucysfootball

          I can’t believe you have a thirteen year old! Is he the funniest? Teenagers would crack me up, I think!

          Hee, “playdate.” I think probably at 13 it’s more date than play. Or maybe a lot of both. :)

          Like

    • lucysfootball

      Ugh, I hate that you have these problems, too! They’re the worst! Then you’re a zombie all the next day. HATE. Boo.

      Like

  • jbrown3079

    When I was single, Sunday nights were the designated insomnia nights. I just could not sleep. All the crap that I had pushed to the side would come flooding back.
    Now, as a married man for the last 21 years, Sundays are not all that bad. I hit the pillow and am out. Every night.
    My insomnia comes in the morning. If I get up early, it is very hard to go back to sleep. Then the lists start.
    As far as sharing the bed, we have a king size one. And if I can I stay awake until she falls asleep. That is when I sleep the best.

    Like

  • Mer

    *shakes her fist furiously at insomnia* Oh, dear. I was very happy to read your update, though.

    Like

  • lynnettedobberpuhl

    When my husband and I went to Germany, we landed in Munich after a horrendously long, sleepless flight. (Husband slept fine.) My father-in-law looked at me when he picked us up and said, “You don’t look well.” We got to the hotel and there on the bed were two fluffy down comforters, one for husband and one for me, which we were able to heap over ourselves like warm, weightless clouds, without the dreaded weight snagging at our feet or at each other. It was almost as good as having my own bed. Those Germans are brilliant about their bedding. Now that my bodily thermostat has decided to march to its own beat, I believe the time has come to bring German sensibility to my own little Minnesota domicile. Best sleep ever. That’s all I’ve got.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      The Germans win bedding! I love that. Nice job, Germans!

      I do sleep better when my temperature is regulated. It’s very seldom regulated, though. I have weird temperature issues because my evil thyroid tried to kill me so they took it out and now I’m irrationally hot or cold when the weather outside is the opposite. So, that’s fun, in a not-at-all-fun way. :)

      Like

  • Bronwyn

    i can’t even begin to tell you how much i relate to this post… i’ve actually hit the point of hallucinating with sleeplessness!

    i won’t try to offer any advice because i know you’ve tried it all… i just keep myself entertained when i can’t sleep by telling myself stories! :D sometimes they lead to dreams (woot!) but a lot of the time they just keep me smiling…

    but they DO have the benefit of directing my brain away from the stressful/painful/frustrating spirals that are the worst when i can’t sleep!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I’ve been in the hallucination boat, too! It is NOT FUN. I’ve heard things, smelled things…it’s the worst. Just the worst.

      I think most of the people I know have some sort of sleeping issue. I think we should do a scientific study. The entertaining people of the internet are the ones with sleeping issues. Someone probably would pay me a million dollars for that study, right? And then I could fund my totally exciting trip to Europe, ooh! THIS IS A VERY GOOD PLAN.

      Like

  • anirrationalratio

    First, studies have shown that you actually sleep worse when you sleep with someone else in your bed. Even if it feels better for some people, the tossing and turning of your partner disturbs your sleep, so it’s not as deep as if you’re alone. (Was that in Andreas’ post? I don’t remember)
    And this is being said by someone who likes to cuddle, it’s science, you can’t escape it.

    My advice, not that you asked or probably want it, is to see a shrinky-doodle type person. It’s a brain thing, right? You can’t sleep due to stress, to your mind racing, to all the things you can’t stop thinking about, right? Well, find a way to deal with them.
    I know that emotional problems used to keep me awake (ok, I DO take a fair amount of meds too, but that’s more of a quality enhancer type of thing…kinda). When those things aren’t playing on your mind as much, it’s easier.

    Of course, you COULD just watch the most depressing movies you know of each night! You do seem to fall asleep when emotionally drained. It’s nowhere near an ideal solution but beggars, and all that.
    I’m pretty sure I just told you to torture yourself to sleep…

    HA!

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I have done the shrink thing. I don’t play well with others. I know I should keep trying, but I just got fed up and gave up and said “I WILL DO THIS MYSELF.” (I have a toddler mindset. It’s not always a good thing.)

      It would be the adult thing to keep going to different therapists until I find one that works for me. I have not, however, very often been accused of doing the adult thing when the option is presented to me.

      I like that science tells me I don’t have to have some mouth-breather in bed with me. SCORE.

      Like

  • elaine4queen

    i’m going to jump right in with advice. i think you should give meditation a serious crack. it might not help with the insomnia, but it REALLY helps with the crazy thinking all the time, so will at least give your brain a break. also, it should help with the panic attacks.

    let me know if you want some help with this.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I totally read this wrong the first time and thought it said “mediation” and thought, “who’m I going to mediate with? My brain?” and then the mental picture of that made me giggle.

      I have tried meditation, but not recently. It’s tough for me because of my racing brain (and also how I’m always on the go and have very little down time, you know?)

      Someday. It’s a very good idea. Thank you.

      Like

  • shoutingthomas

    I always thought my family were Irish, but we must be from Canada, too.
    I’m almost 60, and have had pretty much the same sleep problems that you describe. I self medicated most of my life (code word for alcohol and drugs ), and finally as a last resort tried prescription medications. I went through all the sleeping pills and anti-depressants that are supposed to make you sleepy, but at best they didn’t work very well, and at worst, they made me suicidal. (I got off of that one as soon as I went back and read that information sheet that no one ever reads, and read, “may cause suicidal thoughts”. I’ve been on a cocktail of 5 different prescriptions for the last year, and some nights (like tonight) I don’t sleep a wink, and other nights I’m able to get 6 or seven hours of something like sleep, but not only do I not feel rested in the morning, I slur my words and have a drug hangover till about noon. It’s very embarrassing to talk to anyone those first couple of hours. I struggle to annunciate clearly, but I’m sure whoever I’m talking to is thinking, ” Geez, it’s only nine in the morning and this guy is drunk already.” Finally my shrink insisted I do a sleep study. I had my appointment with the sleep doctor on Monday, and I go in for my sleepover the Friday night. They have a big ass camera so they can watch you. I think I’ll change into my jammies in the bathroom. (Lord, I hope there’s no camera in the bathroom!) I’ll let you know if they fix me. I’m not optimistic. (and I don’t think I’m really from Canada.)

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      My dad went in for one of those sleep studies! There is NO CAMERA IN THE BATHROOM. (I totally asked the same thing.) They do put a million stickies on you to track all the things while you sleep. Then they’re all, “hey, sleep now, ok?” and my dad said there’s nothing that makes an insomniac NOT ABLE to sleep more than someone a., watching him, and b., telling him to sleep.

      I’m DYING to get one of those done. I think it sounds like a total adventure. Also like sleeping in a hotel! A hotel with DOCTORS!

      I’m sorry for all your sleeping problems. Those prescriptions don’t sound like they’re working, either. I hope the sleep study helps. (Dad ended up getting a CPAP mask, which he sometimes uses and sometimes doesn’t. When he does, it does seem to help.)

      Also, HI! You are a NEW COMMENTATOR. How exciting is this? Come back more, I love new people.

      Like

      • shoutingthomas

        I totally will. I really enjoy your blog. You seem to have all the same psychosis as I do, so that makes it even more interesting. It’s two in the afternoon, and I just got up, after not being able to get to sleep until about 6 this morning. I’ll do my sleep study this Friday. We shall see.

        Like

  • doesmybumlookbiginthis

    Have you tried sleeping pills? I kid! Haha i have trouble sleeping for periods of time, i’ll go about 2 weeks – 6 weeks of having poor sleep but then i’ll go back to normal. Also, panic attacks are FUN. But i can’t imagine having full blow insomnia, that sucks.

    On the plus your blog is awesome so.. maybe that’s life balancing out? :) xx

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Ooh, maybe that IS it! Maybe I get an awesome blog and the best followers in the world, but I don’t get sleep. Hmm. I choose the blog. I CHOOSE YOU, BLOG!

      Oh, no, you get the stupid panic attacks, too? They’re the worst, right? Ugh!

      Like

  • ProfMomEsq

    So, yeah. A little late here. But we are two peas in a pod on this one. I can be absolutely fine all day, but the minute I lay down and try to go nite-nite, I get all Panic McPanicson. And… AND… I WAS the jackwagon who went to the ER because I was having a “heart attack.” (But, if you want to see people move their asses in an ER, just say the phrase “heart attack.” Wow.)

    The best, though, are the nights were I juuuuusssstttt fall asleep and the hubs decides THAT would be a great time to start doing his BEST buzz saw imitation. Because who doesn’t love sleeping next to a buzz saw? Totally peaceful, right?

    I’ve tried all the stuff, too. So far, only two things have helped (not all-the-way helped but helped enough): exercise and therapy. I know the therapy thing may not be your cup of tea, but maybe try the exercise? I did Bikram yoga for a little while, and that was super great, because it makes you sweat, stretch and relax out your worries. Or it just makes you really damn tired, because you burn a bilionty calories during the hour you are there.

    If all else fails, pixie dust. :-)

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    • lucysfootball

      I’ve been advised the exercise a ton of times. And I know I SHOULD do it. Argh. I’m better at sedentary.

      And yeah, I know. I should give therapy another go. But I’ve been to probably 4 therapists? Each as bad as the next. I just gave up.

      (And I’M the buzz saw! It’s a good thing I’m not married. I snore like a crazy person.) :)

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