Ice Weddings vs. Ghost Dogs: a very serious decision to make.

Well, in a very exciting move for people who like things that are EXCITING, our resident Science Fellow, Andreas, is up and moving his family to a WHOLE NEW COUNTRY next month. Aren’t you totally the most excited about this? He seems to be under the impression that probably most of the internet doesn’t find this in the least bit interesting. I BEG TO DIFFER, ANDREAS. Moving? To a new COUNTRY? That is TOTALLY exciting! I mean, it’s not like you’re moving into your mom’s BASEMENT across TOWN because you got laid OFF because you showed up at work HIGH or something. That wouldn’t be exciting. I wouldn’t have the least bit of interest in THAT. But this! THIS is exciting!

Oh, shit, we probably need his graphic. I keep forgetting that.

OK, so since this is TOTALLY the MOST EXCITING, I thought we should probably do a little background into this, so we can all get the most pumped with Andreas. Oh, don’t get me wrong. ANDREAS is TOTALLY pumped. But I think we ALL should be pumped. MOVING TO A NEW COUNTRYYYYYY! Come on, that’s really noteworthy, you guys.

So! Currently, Andreas lives HERE.

Does anyone notice the thing on this map that made me laugh so hard I totally spit lemonade on my computer desk?


I think he’s had a successful run there. I mean, they NAMED a damn CITY after him.

This is the Isle of Man. Do not call it England. People who live there do not like that. They also do not like to be called British. They are Manx. When Andreas told me that, I said, “Like the CATS?” and he said, “Yes. Just like the cats.” I like to imagine he said it with a long-suffering sigh. I think a lot of my friends receive my more bizarre conversational salvos with kind of a long-suffering “Oh, it’s AMY, what are you going to do, her brain’s wired a little differently than you’d expect.”

Andreas will be moving to:

Ta da ta DA! FINLAND! Which you all know I like to pronounce obnoxiously. Like Fin-LAYND. Andreas listened to my pronunciation a few weeks ago and said it was alright that I did that. I trust his judgement. He is Finnish, after all. Who else are you going to trust in these matters? So I’m kind of excited, because next month I can say, “My friend Andreas, who lives in FinLAYND” and it’s TRUE, unlike the months I was saying it and he actually didn’t even live there and it was a thing I’d made up in my head when I first knew him.

So then I thought, you know what would be awesome? I think we should probably compare and contrast some important things about the two places. That way, we can see what Andreas is leaving BEHIND and what he’s moving TO. And we can SCORE the two places. Won’t that be fun? Because I don’t know if it’s a good idea for Andreas to just willy-nilly move somewhere that can’t even win a simple compare-and-contrast competition on some weird chick’s blog. MAN do I hope FinLAYND wins, I really have my heart set on this.

Ready? Oh, isn’t this going to be the most fun? I’m pretty sure it is. I’m not sure if Andreas thinks it is. Luckily, as I type this, he is ASLEEP. Also, he kind of already gave me permission to geek out all over his move, and if I’m given permission I’m totally tracking mud all over your nice new carpet. It’s your own damn fault. Be more SELECTIVE next time.

First, let’s compare the flags of the two nations, which Jim helpfully pointed out a few weeks ago.

This is the Finnish flag. Isn’t that nice? It’s very restful. It makes me think the Finns know what they’re doing, and also would be calming about it.

This is the flag of the Isle of Man and I have to be honest, it scares the beejeebers out of me because it reminds me of THIS:

Right? It’s like one of those composite dolls the creepy neighbor future serial killer made in Toy Story. I don’t know what’s up with those legs and no head and such.

The internet tells me the flag of the Isle of Man is known as “three legs” and is based on a 13th century Manx coat of arms. It gives me the willies. I’d imagine that chasing me all around all the time.


Now: coats of arms.

Here is the coat of arms of Finland:

This is nice! There is a scary lion with his tongue sticking out all ruffian-like, and swords, I do so like swords. And I like the color scheme. Nice job, Finland.

And the coat of arms of the Isle of Man:

See, I would TOTALLY dig this one, if not for that creepy leg-monster! I like the FALCON and I like the RAVEN (which some random website tells me are named Dexter and Sinister, how kooky and fun is THAT?) and I like the fancy CROWN and I like the nice WORDS underneath it which the internet tells me means “whichever way you throw me, I will stand” (UGH! That totally refers to those CRAZY CREEPY LEGS! I mean, I like it, it’s really motivational, until you think about those LEGS being THROWN at you and they’re all STANDING and then HOPPING toward you. This is nightmarish.)

POINT: It’s a draw. I like falcons so very, very much. But those legs make me unable to give this win to the Isle of Man. And that lion with his crazy tongue make me laugh. NO ONE GETS POINTS AND NO ONE LOSES ANY.)

Now, the FUN stuff. Shit, who are we kidding, it’s all fun stuff.

The mythology of the Isle of Man:

  • The island was ruled by a Celtic Sea God (sea gods are always awesome)
  • There is a ghostly black dog called “Moddey Dhoo” who wanders through a castle (castles and ghost dogs? excellent)
  • There is a fairy bridge that you have to wish the fairies good morning or good afternoon or whatever when you cross it or you will get bad luck
  • Peel Castle, where the most excellent ghost dog lives, is supposedly the Arthurian Avalon. It is also a VIKING CASTLE you guys. And so pretty! Look!

So, what do you have, Finland, hmm? I hope you’re up to this challenge.

Finland has:

  • its own WIKIPEDIA page about mythology. Oh, shit, Isle of Man, this isn’t looking good at all. You just had a little SECTION on another PAGE.
  • A whole very exciting creation story about us all being formed out of an exploding waterfowl’s egg (BAM!)
  • An awesomely-named God of Sky and Thunder – ready for this? Ukko. I’d totally worship a god named Ukko. A god named Ukko would GET SHIT TAKEN CARE OF.
  • Some sort of strange bear-issue where “the bear was considered the most sacred of animals, only referred to by euphemisms.” (I included this specifically for Ken. He does enjoy a good euphemism. I’m sure he could come up with some ursine euphemisms, were he called upon to do so.)
  • Ooh, check this, a “sampo,” which was a magical mill that made flour, salt and gold OUT OF THIN AIR. I could use that. I’d like something like that. “My soup is so bland!” “Wait, I HAVE SAMPO! Kachow! Zing!”

POINT: I have to give this to Finland. Only because they REALLY seemed to put a lot more thought into it. Come on, Isle of Man. Step it up.

Everyone’s favorite part of travel: FOOD.

The food of the Isle of Man – well, listen, I’m biased because I hate all the foods. But the national dish seems to be boiled potatoes and herring. I don’t…this sounds terrible. Just so bland and terrible.

They also enjoy chips, cheese, and gravy. I think this is poutine. ANDREAS. Do they enjoy POUTINE on the Isle of Man? I thought that was just a Canadian thing? I have nothing against poutine. It is DELICIOUS. It looks like hell but it’s very, very good.

Seafood is common. Because they are an ISLAND. I like that very much. I could live on seafood.  They also like lamb a lot. I’ve never had lamb, because, aw, lambs. But one time I was trickily tricked into veal and it was delicious. So probably lamb is very good, too. Baby animals are unfortunately quite tasty, even though you want to also cuddle them. It’s quite a conundrum.

Ooh, they also make over 578 TONS of cheese a year. I would like all the seafood and cheese and poutine. Nice job, Isle of Man.

How about YOU, Finland?

Finland has many exotic berries. Here are some: bilberries, lingonberries, cloudberries. These all sound like things you would find at Willie Wonka’s factory, and make me want to try them all immediately. I want fairy-tale berries!

Finnish people love fish. LOVE LOVE LOVE. I can dig that, Finnish people. I ALSO love all the fish. They ALSO love herring. What’s with people in Andreas’s two lands loving herring? I don’t think I’ve ever eaten herring in my life, now all I read about all day is herring, herring, herring.

Also, Wikipedia seems to think the Finnish people pick berries, mushrooms and fish all day long. I think maybe they have jobs, Wikipedia, but it’s a nice mental image. Also, yum, mushrooms. Andreas, will you mail me some delicious Finnish mushrooms if Finland ends up winning this thing?

However, Finland does NOT win my love for the fact that everything I read says “blah blah blah THEY LOVE RYE BREAD” and I’d rather eat the lunchmeat off my hand-area than eat rye bread, so deep does my hatred of rye run. Also, I read this thing that says when times were tight, Finns made bread out of rye and pine bark, and it was not good or easy to slice, but some weirdo dirty hippies are making it again and saying “IT IS GOOD FOR YOU.” Of COURSE they are. Those damn hippies. Don’t eat trees. You are not a beetle.

“The Finnish breakfast traditionally includes a substantial portion of porridge,” says Wikipedia. I like this because of the “substantial” part, and because it makes me think they’re all like the Three Little Bears over there.

Also, if you live in Lapland, Wikipedia says one of the things you’ll be eating is sautéed reindeer. Andreas! Will you be in LAPLAND?

POINT: Shit, I have to say Finland. Mainly because they, again, seemed to try harder. I don’t think the Isle of Man is giving this competition their all, really. Also, look at this: this is a dessert that the internet tells me Finland has to offer.

This is laskiaispulla. Sometimes it has ALMOND filling. Finland, if you end up winning this, I would like a whole shipment of these adorable things, but NOT your pine tree rye bread, please.

Tourist attractions! Yes. Now, Andreas will NO DOUBT want to visit some exciting tourist attractions, and so I had the FORESIGHT to look some up for him.

Were you aware that Lapland – where, as you’ll remember, you will be eating sautéed reindeer, is the HOME of SANTA? It’s true. And you can VISIT his home! It is called Santa Park.

On this utterly confusing website, we find out many things.

Santa’s favorite food is apparently “Mrs Claus Christmas pudding!” (Google Chrome translated this page for me. In a…befuddling way.) “Porridge recipe is very secret, and none other than Mrs. Claus do not know it. The Wizard Elves are, however, revealed one of the secret ingredients of porridge: “What-I-sting-it?” Spice.”

“What-I-sting-it” is my new favorite thing, and I will be saying it on a regular basis. NO, I don’t know what it means. Does that matter? It is AWESOME.

We also learn way more than we want to about Santa:

“Korvatunturi is also home of Santa Claus: for this reason it is not the secret cavities can not Santa Claus in addition to other than Mrs. Claus and elves.”


Also, there are creepy photos like this one:

Yeah, that’s a taxidermied reindeer that Santa’s grinning about.

BUT, best of ALL, you can GET MARRIED THERE!

Look! A spectacular ICE WEDDING! With a CANDLE and also ICE! Andreas, this is really the opportunity of a lifetime. I bet if you got married here Santa and his taxidermied reindeer would come. Think of the photos in your wedding album! NO ONE would have photos like this!

OK, Isle of Man. Time to step it up. What’s your claim to fame?

Well, there is the Mann Cat Sanctuary, where you can see many Manx cats. I’d like that.

Ooh, and the Curraghs Wildlife Park. You KNOW I’m a sucker for animals.

And many fine historical and crafty places. Um. This isn’t looking good, Isle of Man. Finland has ICE WEDDINGS.

POINT: Finland

OK, let’s tally, shall we?

Isle of Man: Um. Zero. Shit, I am so sorry, Isle of Man.

Finland: ALL THE POINTS. Except the one that was a draw where no one got points because they were both fine.

ANDREAS! Congratulations! YOUR MOVE TO FINLAND IS A VERY GOOD CHOICE! Will you take photos of ice weddings and reindeer and fairytale berries for me?

Dear Finland:

Please note that Andreas is one of my favorite humans, and, subsequently, take very good care of him. The Isle of Man attempted to KILL HIM IN A FIRE recently. Well, I suppose that wasn’t the whole ISLAND’S fault, but I think it might have been a factor. Either way, I was utterly distraught at the idea of losing him and totally had the most nervous of nervous stomachs because he makes my life a happier and better place every day. So, Finland, please take the best care of Andreas and his family. OR I WILL COME MELT YOUR ICE WEDDING CHAPEL WITH A MERKAN BLOWTORCH. Then where will Santa keep his taxidermied creeptastic reindeer and secret cavities?

Please feel free to send me mushrooms and cakes with almond filling. Thanks ever so.

Love, Amy.

About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

31 responses to “Ice Weddings vs. Ghost Dogs: a very serious decision to make.

  • anirrationalratio

    This wouldn’t be that fun if Finland had lost.
    I’d request one of these for when I get to move (whenever that comes about. Stupid economy!) but really, it’s not much of a battle.

    It must be a lot of work to move from one country to another. I’d be tempted to say it’s easier to burn all your stuff and start again but we don’t want to encourage any more fires around Andreas!

    ALSO! Think of all the names of places he’ll have for us when he gets there.


    • lucysfootball

      Are you planning on moving? Within the country, or out of country? I had the most fun with this. I love both research and travel. I’ll totally do one for you. (Ireland might do pretty well. I kind of love Ireland.)

      I KNOW! I said the same THING to Andreas. A cross-country move almost killed me, I can’t even imagine one to a whole new country! Andreas is the best AND the bravest.

      There are going to be a billion Finnish words and phrases and hopefully photos once he arrives. I’m very excited about all of this.


      • anirrationalratio

        Yes. Well, I mean, it’s stuck in the planning stages for the moment due to finances. Definitely out of country, even out of hemisphere. But I don’t want to jinks it by saying more until things are set in, if not stone, then at least something harder than sponge cake. :)


  • sj

    ZOMFG, WIZARD ELVES – Finland wins everything forever just because of the wizard elves. No joke.

    Also, I have a friend in Finland. She is awesome. Andreas will be in good company if they ever meet. Which they totally should, except he’ll have to know sign language because she’s deaf. She also has an amazing Finnish name – Liisa. No, not Lisa. Liisa with two Is. Isn’t that a great name? I’m totally jealous of names with two vowels in a row.


  • Andreas Heinakroon

    Aw, Amy, aren’t you the sweetest, taking such an interest in my little move! I’m glad you approve of me moving to Finland, I would hate to move anywhere that’s un-cool.

    The berries are great, but my favourite is chanterelle mushrooms, they’re sooooo tasty simply fried in butter with some salt and pepper.

    Also, the fastlagsbulle (laskiaispulla) is delicious, with its marzipan filling and whipped cream. If you ever come to visit, I’ll make you some.


    • lucysfootball

      Aw, Andreas. Even if it WAS uncool, you’d move there and it would BECOME cool. Congratulations on your move!

      I don’t think I’ve ever had chanterelle mushrooms, and I’ve tried a lot of mushrooms. Now I want some. I love mushrooms more than almost anything.


      OK, so I want to go visit YOU in Finland, and I want to go visit Ken (and force him to take me to Poing, because, well, it’s Poing.) Let’s start brainstorming ways I can do this for about $50. The only idea I have so far is some big company sponsors me in exchange for me blogging hysterically about the whole thing. Hell, it could work, right? Right?


      • lahikmajoe

        This will definitely work. We should talk to that mayor in Poing that you found.

        Start packing…you’re blogging for the good of Finland and Poing.


        • lucysfootball

          EXCELLENT. Although, I hate living out of suitcases. If I start packing, are we sure I’m leaving right away? When I can’t find my hair conditioner I get really cranky.

          I’m fairly sure the mayor of Poing would want to finance this trip. I mean, I’d be excellent Poing publicity. I’d go to the Wildpark and everything. I’d make sure everyone knew they were also Knut. And whoever’s in charge of Finland should know I’d be happy to visit the ice wedding chapel. I probably won’t even break anything in there, either. PROBABLY. I’ll just move really slow and try not to jiggle my arms too much.

          But, remember that woman in the tea shop you met in Berlin and she was all, “What’s a blog? Is there a word in German for blog?” What if the mayor of Poing doesn’t even know what a blogger IS? Oh, worrisome.

          The people on The Amazing Race were in the Munich Airport last night. Again, you were not there. I’m really disappointed in The Amazing Race this season. Not nearly enough Ken footage.


  • Laura Darkstar (@MsCreatrix)

    I had a simply brilliant comment typed earlier but, alas, your website gobbled it right up… much like the Kite-Eating Tree gobbled up oh so many of Charlie Brown’s Kites.

    However…I will attempt to once again comment…

    The Isle of Man wins points for both seafood and poutine. I am not crazy about fish… but seafood and poutine rock my world. To clarify… Fins = no, shells = yes in my culinary world.

    However, the fact that, apparently, the Isle of Man tried to crispify Andreas and his loved ones outweighs both seafood and poutine. I require scientifical knowledge and as Lucy’s Football’s Designated Official Science Fellow, we can’t very well have Andreas singed. Burninating seems to take the edge of one’s ability to be scientifical.

    And so, I approve of this move to Finland. Not that what *I* say makes one bit of difference. But my seal of approval certainly can’t hurt, right?

    I am now hungry for poutine, though… which is unfortunate because I have not yet found a Texas hookup for cheese curds. I will, however, be having my state-mandated Country Fried Steak and Gravy this evening (if you don’t have it at least once a month, they send Chuck Norris to your house to kick your @$$). So, there will be Country Fried Steak, Smashed Potatoes and a metric f*ckton of gravy. “Metric F*ckton” is both a legal and agricultural term. I learned it from my friend, Lawyer Greenjeans who was both an attorney and a farmer. However, now he is a Chemical Dependency Counselor and a farmer because apparently helping people overcome addiction is infinitely better than helping people get divorced and sue each other. Just a little career advice for you.


    • lucysfootball

      Aw, it did? I wonder how that happened! Bad website! BAD!

      Yay! More votes for Finland. This is going to be great.

      No cheese curds in Texas? We have them in the grocery store here! That’s terrible! I’d be bereft!


  • lynnettedobberpuhl

    1) I could not help but notice that the birds’ names for the Isle of Man flag, Dexter and Sinister, are similar to the Italian words for right and left, Destra and Sinistra.
    2) A raven named Sinister would be a bird after Poe’s heart (hopefully not literally–that would be dry pickings, bird.) And finally, in the free for all word association–
    3) The Raven, starring John Cusack, coming soon to theaters near you featuring Poe’s stories. Hope it’s good.

    Congrats on the move, Andreas! Well done on the comparison, Amy, it was both thorough and fair.


  • lahikmajoe

    The story of the Finnish national anthem is one of my very favourite.

    Jean Sibelius was paid a substantial salary for the rest of his life for having written ‘Finlandia’. It’s a lovely melody and the words are incredibly inspiring. And aspiring…if words can be that. They make me want to aspire.

    I’ve known a lot of Finns in my life. They’re above-average people. That sounds ridiculous. Even the average Finn must be average, right? Well, no. He isn’t. He’s above-average.

    By my measurement. I’m not exactly a science fellow or anything.

    I’m really happy for Andreas and his family. Most of all, I’m relieved and grateful that no-one was hurt in that fire. I’ve grown quite fond of our Heinakroon over the last half year, or so.


    • lucysfootball

      I’m not allowed to steal you, by the way. I promised Lisa. So I’d give you an official fancy honorific and a badge and everything (I’m going to assume you would be The Official Tea Dude of Lucy’s Football) but Lisa said it’s bad enough I stole Andreas from her, that I am NOT ALLOWED to steal her resident tea expert as well. There go my plans for a whole empire of experts, dammit.

      Now I have to search for, and listen to, the Finnish national anthem. I want to aspire. Who doesn’t? Also, I’m going to assume all Finns are above-average people. I mean, look at Andreas. He’s about as above-average as they come.

      I agree wholeheartedly. A world without Andreas would be a sad one, indeed. A world without ANY of you would be. I don’t like to think about that. It makes my whole heart hurt.


  • jbrown3079

    We moved about 120 miles to the south of where we were living. And it was a miserable experience. Just the actual moving. We love our new location and the house.
    So, moving to another country is something I can not begin to comprehend.
    I watch those shows on HGTV where people look for houses thousands of miles from home. I couldn’t do it.
    I like knowing someone who is doing this. I hope he writes about it.
    Also, I haven’t mentioned it in a while, but your posts are like having cake everyday.


    • lucysfootball

      I moved across the country twice – once there, once back. Two of the most stressful moves of my life. I’ve said repeatedly the only way I’ll move again is if the whole place where I’m living now falls down around my ears. (I was so, so grateful when I fell head-over-heels with this area not long after I arrived – not only had I found my “home” I’d been looking for, but I didn’t want to move again!)

      I know! The blog of this move would be epic, Andreas!

      Thank you so much, John. That makes my night, seriously. It’s been a weird day. So thank you, thank you.


  • lgalaviz

    Today I learned way more than I thought I wanted to know about the Isle of Man and the possibility of having legs thrown at me. Thank you.


  • Andreas Heinakroon

    OK, now I’m back online and can comment in more detail (I’ll be offline out of business hours until the move, unfortunately). *cracks knuckles*

    Ukko is a cool name for a god, that’s true. Until you realise ‘ukko’ is Finnish for ‘old man’. Hmm.. But, yes, everyone could do with a sampo. Very convenient, those magic mills.

    Yes, chips, cheese and gravy is like poutine, I guess. But with grated Manx cheddar instead of cheese curds.

    In Finland you can also buy tar shampoo, which smells really great! And Karelian pasties that are very tasty with scrambled eggs and melted butter; a perfect breakfast meal (together with porridge, obviously!).

    Bilberries? Is that what you call our blueberries? Cool. They’re also very tasty, either made into jam or as they are with some milk and sugar.

    Herring is alright. In the Baltic sea it’s called strömming, and it’s slightly smaller due to the brackish water.

    No, I won’t be living in Lapland, although Fiancée’s family has got a summer house just on the border of Swedish Lapland. It’s very beautiful up there, even with all the gnats, midges and mosquitoes. Instead, I’ll be moving to Åland (the little group of islands at the far south-west of Finland).

    P.S. Thanks for the link back! I’ll make sure not to die in a fire in Finland.


    • lucysfootball

      Hmm. Ukko is not as cool now. It SOUNDS cool, but it doesn’t MEAN anything cool. This is worrisome. I call trickery, Finland!

      Does tar shampoo smell like tar? I’ve used coal soap before, which is probably not all that similar except they are both black. I love the coal soap and it does very nice things for my skin, but it’s $11 for a very small bar. I don’t want to pay $11 a bar for soap. I need that money for food.

      Wait, you’re moving to an ISLAND? I wish I’d known that. That makes it all even MORE cool. I’m glad Finland won. Islands are automatically cooler.

      Here’s my question. What’s up with the town named Andreas on the Isle of Man? Do you LIVE in the town named Andreas? If not, that’s really a wasted opportunity.

      You are WELCOME. Yes, no fires in Finland. I don’t want to come there and melt their ice wedding chapel. Well, I do want to come there, but not to wreak havoc. It seems very nice and civilized and I don’t want to have to get stompy.


      • Andreas Heinakroon

        Yes it does smell like tar, although it’s not black but more of a golden colour. It’s not expensive either.

        Alas, I neither live in Andreas or is the source of its name. I believe the village is named after the apostle St Andrew (St Andreas if you don’t Anglicize it).


        • lucysfootball

          See? I had no idea Andreas = Andrew!

          I still think the town was named after YOU.

          The soap smells like tar? That seems like it wouldn’t be so nice. Do YOU smell like tar after bathing with it? I don’t think I’d like to smell like tar. Although anything that’s a golden color gets points, because that reminds me of pirates.


  • blogginglily

    Alright, I have to admit to having only scanned this, because I just read another of your posts, and I only have so much time in the day. . . BUT. . . I had a manx cat growing up. It was eaten on my deck by a bobcat in the middle of the night.

    Have I told you this? Probably you’re wondering, “Jim, how do you KNOW a bobcat came up on your deck in the middle of the night and ate your cat?”

    Good question. My cat was yowling at something and I couldn’t sleep and I’m like. . . “Shut the fuck up, Sonny (of Sonny and Cher. . . long sad story about Cher that I won’t get into)!” But he would not, plus also I didn’t actually verbalize it so much as scream it at him in my brain. I was in high school at the time and living with my parents. I got out of bed and went to the front door and opened it to see what the hell was going on and why he was making so much noise, and. . . there was a bobcat standing on the front stoop with my kitty cat in his mouth. The kitty cat was a Manx kitty cat.


    • lucysfootball

      You SAW your CAT hanging out of the bobcat’s MOUTH? That’s totally scarring, Jim. For young-you, not for me. (Yes, I think you did tell me this, but I don’t think in such detail.)

      Also, you saw a bobcat up close? It’s unfortunate you didn’t get to enjoy that more, what with the TOTALLY SCARRING EATING OF YOUR CAT that was going on. Yikes!

      (I want to hear the Sonny & Cher story someday!)


      • blogginglily

        you don’t want to hear that story. It is sad. . . *sniff*

        I was 17 or 18 at the time, totally not scarred, just pissed off. Ran inside to get my .22 (I lived in Montana in the country) and ran back outside mfing the bobcat the whole time. When I opened the door, he was gone. . . and Sonny with him.


  • elaine4queen

    1. northern europeans and scanwedgians all take cake very seriously.

    2. i take cake very seriously.

    ergo. cake. we are moving to a cake land! i can’t wait!


    • lucysfootball

      A whole LAND of CAKE! This is grand. This is much better than Candyland, which was NOTHING like what was promised.


      • elaine4queen

        so much so, that when i was going out with a norwegian the two words i learned were goldroot, which lets face it, is far cooler than ‘carrot’, (although i see it is spelled gulrot, which is less impressive) and kakegrippe, who knows HOW that is spelled, since i don’t know if there is an english word. i just looked up cake tongs, and the norwegian is kake tang, so i don’t know, do they have MANY cake implements? i don’t know. we have cake SLICES which are fancy, but have no gripping powers. i was given a kakegripper which was all silver plated and fancy. i didn’t dare eat THAT much cake, so i used it to turn bacon and the like.


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