Advertisements

The entire country’s overrun with sluts, seriously. It’s an EPIDEMIC.

Dear Mr. Limbaugh:

May I call you Mr. Limbaugh? I mean, I wouldn’t want to be presumptuous. I am a woman. With woman-parts. Should I call you Daddy? Sir? BIG Daddy? Pops? I mean, it’s all about you. I really just want you to be comfortable, here.

Oh, stick with Mr. Limbaugh? Sure. Sure thing. I know MY place. In the KITCHEN. Barefoot & pregnant. Am I right?

Well! Here we are, Mr. Limbaugh: you, with your fancy penis, me with my far-less-superior vagina, just hanging out. This is nice, right? Isn’t this just the best thing?

Oh, I should probably introduce myself. I’m sorry. How rude! I’m one of the approximately 12-15 million sluts of America. It’s so nice to have this chance to chat, isn’t it? I know, it’s weird, I’m representing, like, a LOT of women. Here, let me put it to you this way. The number of women I represent is 12-15 million, minus one, more than the number of women who would willingly, currently, let you sleep with them. And that one is debatable. I still don’t 100% understand the situtation going on there with your wife. I can’t imagine anyone sleeping with you on purpose. Maybe you roofie her, I don’t know. She’s wife #4. Maybe she’s just waiting for you to die? Patiently, PAAAAATIENTLY just lying there, waiting, waiting, waaaaaiting for you to die, you ignoring that bored look in her eyes as you huff and puff away? (“Hey, I always notice that bored look in their eyes, alright?” Name that quote, sir, I’ll give you a shiny quarter.) I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOES ON I AM THANKFULLY NOT IN YOUR BEDROOM BECAUSE IF I WERE I THINK IT WOULD GIVE ME PTSD. But, what do I know, anyway, just a stupid slut, am I right, Mr. Limbaugh?

Now, can I just first say, thank you so much for letting me know what a complete and total whorebag I am? I mean, I always kind of wondered? Am I? Am I a jezebel? And you let me know this week I was. Thank you. Thank you for that. Because if there’s one thing I hate, it’s uncertainty. And then you let me know I was a “feminazi.” I assume this is a little word salad you made of “feminist” and “nazi?” Aw! Aren’t you just the cutest thing? Aren’t you just a vocab champion? I mean, I don’t really see how me being on birth control, and being a feminist, also makes me a nazi. To me, it’s like you took two completely unrelated words and smooshed them together into a s’more and then stuffed it into your huge gaping piehole. Like if you took “pirate” and “automobile” and proudly presented the world with “piratomobile” and expected us to ooh and ahh. I mean, I do applaud your command of letters, I suppose. My toddler nephew also uses words, sometimes incorrectly? When he does, we gently correct him. WITH LOVE. Would you like me to correct you? With love? I bet you would! You’ve got the look of a man who’s drooled over a good slut in his lifetime about him, Mr. Limbaugh.

Well, let’s talk about your week, shall we? It’s been a busy one for you! First, you called a Georgetown law student a slut for publicly advocating that birth control should be covered under health care, not just for birth control purposes, but for health care reasons. Not only did you call this young lady a slut, you said you wanted her to post a sex tape of her sexual activities online; you said she was having so much sex she couldn’t pay for enough birth control for herself; and you said her parents would be ashamed of her. Among other things. Because if you’re anything, it’s verbose. Oh, wait, sorry, I should have told you: I’m a slut with a vocabulary, a brain, and a blog. Sorry. Probably should have spoiler-alerted you.

Then, when you realized you were losing advertisers, and advertisers pay for your Cheetos, HoHos, and Viagra, you apologized. But let’s be honest, here, Mr. Limbaugh. I’ve seen apologies, both good and bad, in my lifetime. And this was more of a “mom said I had to apologize, so I’m SORRY you were OFFENDED by my TOTALLY FUNNY JOKE, as if it’s MY FAULT you GREEDY WHORES don’t have a SENSE OF HUMOR” than it was a truly abject apology. Mr. Limbaugh, people are backing away from you as if you’re the loser in a he-who-smelt-it-dealt-it contest, honestly. And you’re the Emperor, all nakey-naked, “whee, lookit me! LOOKIT ME! I GOTS ME A DING DONG!”

Now, I did a little research, to see how many American women I’m representing. The twelve million is low. That’s just the number that take oral contraceptives. So let’s say that an additional 3 million use alternate methods – the patch, an IUD, the sponge, the…oh, Mr. Limbaugh, ARE YOU OK? I’m sorry, you looked a little queasy, there. Was it the talk of women’s contraceptive options? Oh, it was the idea that money for these is coming right out of your pocket? Here, sit back. Put your feet up. NO, don’t take your shoes off. I didn’t buy any Airwick spray this week. Just rest up. I’ll keep talking, though. You had your say earlier in the week. My turn now, Big Poppa.

Now, according to another website I found, there are 58% of those women who take their chosen form of contraceptive for reasons OTHER than just birth control. Regulation of menstrual flow. Control of severe cramping. Amelioration of migraine headache symptoms related to menstruation. Things of that nature. I’m sorry, you’re fading out on me again. Oh, it’s the talk of lady-business this time? You’d rather I didn’t use the term “menstruation?” What would you rather I…”monthlies?” You want me to call them “monthlies?” I bet you make your wife go into a tent in the yard once a month, because she’s unclean, don’t you, and because she might draw bears. Don’t you even josh with me, you big kidder, you. From one gasbag to another, I see right through you.

So that’s over half of us sluts who are using contraceptives for medical reasons OTHER than birth control. But we’re still sluts, right? I just want to make that perfectly clear. Because I’m liking this an awful damn lot, being a slut. I mean, I’m not even currently sexually active but BAM I AM A SLUT. That’s nice! And is my daddy not proud of me? I’ll have to ask him that, the next time we talk. Oh, wait, I’ve avoided bringing this topic even up with him, because you, sir, you and your misogynistic ways are the main cause of friction between my beloved father and myself. I’m pretty sure if we got going on my sluthood and such, he’d disown me. HE LOVES YOU JUST THAT MUCH. And I’m a little jealous, honestly. But what did I expect? I mean, I’m just a slut. Who ever loves the slut? The slut never gets to be the belle of the ball, am I right?

Also, to clear up some misconceptions you seem to be laboring under:

  1. You said that the women that wanted their birth control covered by health insurance were “having so much sex they were going broke.” I think you might be under the impression we have to take birth control pills like Tic Tacs, whenever we’re getting ready to get the hot beef injection. Not really how it works.
  2. The money for birth control wouldn’t directly come out of your pocket. I mean, I suppose, if you drill way, way, WAY down, pennies might come out of your sizeable income. But if you think about it, our tax dollars go for all kinds of wacky shit. Did you know that there’s an unrated version of Team America at my library? True. I totally put it on reserve so I can watch puppet sex next weekend because my internet people told me it was the best thing. Things at my library are paid for with tax dollars. So, in theory, if you think about it, fractions of pennies of your salary probably paid for me to watch puppet sex. But if you think about every little thing like this, you’re just going to get a massive heart attack and die. AND WHO WOULD WANT THAT SURELY NOT ME.
  3. Sandra Fluke, the student you attacked so heinously, is a LAW STUDENT. Let’s just wrap our minds around that, just for a minute. A LAW STUDENT. At GEORGETOWN. I don’t know if you know any law students. I’ve run across a few. THEY ARE BUSY AS HELL. There are classes, and there is a LOT of studying. I’m sure they have time for SOME of all the sex. But not all. Not all the sex. Because they’re too busy studying to BECOME LAWYERS. It’s not like they’re in correspondence school to become air conditioner repairmen. It’s LAW SCHOOL. You have to pass the damn BAR EXAM. Also, Georgetown’s not a school that gets advertised on the back of a matchbook cover, Mr. Limbaugh. It’s one of our fanciest of the fancy. I mean, it’s a given she’s a slut – what with the birth control, and how she can’t control her slutty, slutty mouth, am I right? – but she’s a SMART slut. I know, I was as confused as you undoubtedly are, that these two things aren’t mutually exclusive. It’s a mystery for the ages.
  4. You don’t get a say in everything that is paid for with your tax dollars. You want a sex tape to be put on the internet if your tax dollars pay for birth control. Tit for tat, right? So your tax dollars pay for homeless shelters, do you want a homeless man to come over and spoon you tonight? Your tax dollars also pay for soup kitchens, do you want to eat tomato soup until you explode? I’ll sign up for force-feeding you, I mean, if there’s a sign-up sheet. It’s the saddest when there’s a signup sheet but no one’s signed up yet. You feel like such a FOOL.
  5. No one calls someone slutty “roundheels” anymore. That made you sound like Grandpa Simpson.
  6. Are you aware of pharmacological markups? Like, if you figure it out, you pay, say, $10 for your co-pay, but your insurance agency is billed $40 so those pills cost $50 altogether but in all actuality the whole bottle of pills, including the amber plastic bottle with all the warning labels, cost probably $.0002 cents? Yeah, maybe we’re attacking the wrong people. How about birth control pill manufacturers make it more affordable for us to get it ourselves? Or make it affordable and available over the counter? That way we don’t even have to INVOLVE you, sir. Not even a LITTLE bit. Unless we run into you leaving the drug store on new porno mag day.
  7. Not all birth control, as my statistics show you above, is for all the sex. YES, any DAY now, I’m pretty sure I’m going to start having all the sex. My doctor says I can. And it’s ALL FOR YOU MR. LIMBAUGH. But it’s also for those of us who’ve been on it since we were about 19 because our uteruses are trying to kill us. And hypothetically? Those people have never, ever, not even one little teeny-tiny time, used it for birth control purposes. Because that’s why God made condoms. YES GOD MADE CONDOMS. What? Where in the Bible does it say that? I’m pretty sure “sheep” are mentioned a few times, and those sheep have skin, and I think there are sheepskin condoms. I JUST BLEW YOUR MIND. So the sluts among us, one of whom is writing this blog, who need birth control or they will be murdered in their sleep by their evil, evil uteruses – what exactly do you want US to put a video of on the internet? Heavy menstrual flow? Bending over groaning in pain from severe cramping? Sleeping 8-10 hours in climate-controlled rooms because of severe migraines? Adult cystic acne? No, pray tell, I need to know so I can start getting ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille. Because – NEWS FLASH PILGRIM – you totally bought my birth control recently. You’ve been buying that shit for ALMOST TWENTY YEARS. I KNOW DIRTY DIRTY SLUT. Whoo!

Mr. Limbaugh: I’m so sorry you’re petrified of women. I really am. It must be so scary, considering there are 143.4 million, as of the 2000 census, humans with lady-parts walking around America. There are 5.3 million more of us than there are men. I mean, that’s got to be SO EFFING SCARY for someone who is so utterly horrified at the thought of women being equal to men that he has to make them feel less than, put-upon, and inferior, every single chance he gets. I mean, we’ve got you, comparing our reproductive rights to sneakers in gym class (because the two are so similar, I’m sure I don’t have to explain the similarities to my amazingly brilliant readers) and we’ve got your pal Santorum telling us that if he had his druthers, we’d all be forced to have God’s lemonade rape-babies. I can’t even imagine the nightmares that must swirl through your sweaty head at night: women WORKING ALONGSIDE MEN. Women IN POSITIONS OF POWER. Women POINTING AT YOUR DICK AND LAUGHING AS IF THEY WERE WATCHING AN ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT RERUN. Women who, if they got their shit together, COULD OUTVOTE THE MEN BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE OF US THAN THERE ARE YOU.

It has been so nice to have this chat, hasn’t it? Slut to moron? Whore to douchecanoe? Harlot to insecure gasbag with mommy issues?

Let’s do this again, shall we? You bring a pie. I’ll bring my command of the English language, my college-educated brain, and my vagina. Mr. Limbaugh. MR. LIMBAUGH. You’re looking pale again. I think you might need some smelling salts. Or maybe a sharp slap in the face.

All my best,

Amy, the biggest slut in all of Slutsville

(For two more takes on the insanity of the week, please check out Green Geek Girl and Books and Bowel Movements. *Smooches* to my ladies!)

Advertisements

About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

55 responses to “The entire country’s overrun with sluts, seriously. It’s an EPIDEMIC.

  • lahikmajoe

    I was lured here by the promised slut epidemic. Now what?

    And what day exactly is ‘new porno mag day’?

    Ding Dong Joe was a bit uncomfortable with this one.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I GAVE you a slut epidemic. At least 12-15 MILLION AMERICAN SLUTS! Ken, that is SO MANY SLUTS!

      Friday. I’ve decided new porno mag day is Friday. (Honestly, I really did Google it. How does Google not know such a thing?)

      Oh, Ding Dong Joe. I’m sorry. Too much grr and not enough boobs, I’m guessing. I’ll be pervier later in the week for him, maybe.

      Like

  • Conservative, Christian female.

    Every foul word written affirmed his statement. Can you not better articulate your point than by attacking your opponent with base language and imagery? Oh, no of course not, you’re a feminist and a liberal which explains much but excuses little.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Ooh, look, you guys, I totally got A HATE COMMENT! This is exciting, I think it means I hit the big time.

      Yep. I’m a feminist. And a liberal. Proud of both! Nice to meet you!

      I’d very much like to argue with you. Very, very much. But the last time I had a hater on here, I did so, and someone I respect a great deal pointed out I was being a bully. And I don’t want to come across as a bully.

      All I’ll say is, I’m sorry you don’t seem to understand that people like Rush Limbaugh are attacking women. And you are a woman. And you’re being attacked. I’m sorry you can’t see that. I truly am. And I promise you, even though you don’t want me to? I’ll continue, until my dying breath, to fight for your freedom. Loudly. And with many, many, MANY, foul words.

      Hope you have a great day.

      Like

      • Rod (@airigoagain)

        Can *I* argue with them? I mean, I have something to do for a few hours, so I can’t do it NOW, but I’ll be back later tonight!

        I like to feed the trolls! But I’ll only do it with permission. (Not to “defend” you, but for my own amusement, obviously. Before someone says it. I only defend those that need it. You don’t.)

        Like

      • borkadventures

        Congrats on your hate comment!

        And what was the offensive language? Slut? Because it is so much better when you call a girl a prostitute.

        Like

        • lucysfootball

          Yeah, I guess it was slut? Which was really just a quote from Rush. I think I did say shit a couple times. I do that now and again. I guess it’s ok if a MAN calls me a slut, but if I call MYSELF a slut, that’s foul?

          Like

    • Em

      I think it’s very attractive and kinda sexy to be funny and smart and feminist and liberal.

      Just sayin’.

      Like

      • lucysfootball

        ME TOO. So, SO attractive. I have a gajillion hot, sexy readers. And I read a gajillion blogs by hot, sexy people, too. People, because those words can describe both men AND women.

        And, aw. Thanks. :)

        Like

    • anirrationalratio

      Hi “Conservative, Christian female.”,

      I’d like if you’d please explain what you meant when you said “Every foul word written affirmed his statement.”?
      Obviously, you don’t mean the words were foul. After all, the post’s author was quoting the foulness, the rest of the words couldn’t be described so, especially compared to the original statement.

      But, ignoring that aside, my question is what did this post affirm, exactly? What was said by the OP that gave you the impression that Rush was spot on with his ramblings?

      Speaking of the origin of this discussion, surely it was Mr. Limbaugh that resorted to “attacking [his] opponent with base language and imagery”? Please link me to your comments you posted publicly decrying his initial attack.

      If you are serious, you do realize that your comment looks VERY much like a sarcastic (the same tone as the post) comment, in which case I have to give you full makes! Well…I will deduct one point for the “female” in your username. Surely, even someone who goes out of their way to pick fights on other people’s blogs would at least fight out if they were a girl or a woman first.
      Just like the word slut, this both point to something about the person in question. One sounding youthful, one sounding wiser, one sounding underage, one sounding older, etc.

      “Female” sounds so clinical, so cold, unloved, sexless almost. Sexless in a gender sense…but possibly in other ways too, I suppose, I don’t want you to get me wrong.
      It’s so detached to call yourself by something that’s a classification, a box to be ticked on a medical form.
      It almost sounds like you were told that’s what you are and never took a peek under the covers.
      BUT this sounds like I’m attacking you, I’m not! I don’t know anything about you, except what you picked as a name. Do you not like women yourself? Is that why you don’t want to call yourself a woman? I mean, you do seem to be on the side that spends a fair bit of time trying to undermine women’s rights. I can only try to put the pieces together in the way they seem to fit.

      Sorry, I seem to have written a lot. Anyway, I look forward to your reply after you have gobbled up these words.
      Apologies for taking so long, I was off helping a friend this evening.

      Rod :)

      Like

    • lgalaviz

      Congrats on your hate comment. I’m kinda jealous now.

      Like

  • sj

    Chasing Amy, where’s my quarter? Or…is that only for the head douchecanoe?

    No, but seriously, what about those of us that are married and already have all the kids we’re going to have? I suppose the fact that I’ve been having sex with the same person for the last 14 years makes me super slutty because I get it on the regular? Dunno. What I do know is that it pisses me off to think that ANYONE has ANY RIGHT to tell me what it is and isn’t okay to do with my body.

    When I was in high school, a friend of mine had the worst periods ever. She was 16, an honour student, and super brilliant. She ended up missing at least 3 days of school a month because she couldn’t even stand, not to mention the fact that she was anemic because she would sometimes bleed for 2+ weeks at a time. Her doctor wanted to put her on birth control to help regulate her cycle and lessen the pain she was going through. Her father refused. Even though she’d never even gotten to second base, he was POSITIVE that if she started taking the Pill, that was enough for her to go out and start whoring around. I try to keep my potty mouth in check on the internet, but that is BULLSHIT! It’s so disgusting, it makes me want to cry.

    Also, you know what? EVEN IF I DO WANT TO GO OUT AND BE THE SLUTTIEST SLUT THERE EVER WAS, it’s MY RIGHT! Wouldn’t he rather I keep the population of unwanted children down so that there were fewer that needed to be taken care of? This whole thing is just completely mindblowing and makes zero sense at all.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Ooh, shiny quarter AWARDED! Well, it’s a virtual quarter. But that way you can imagine it’s SUPER-shiny! (I had to put that in there. Any excuse for a little young Jason Lee. SIGH.)

      I think if you’re married, you’re supposed to keep having babies til your parts fall off. Isn’t that in the Constitution?

      EXACTLY. Your friend’s issues = very similar to mine. Why the hell should I suffer and not be able to be on birth control (which I couldn’t afford if my health care didn’t cover some of it because I’m a poor person, but I’m NOT on WELFARE, thank you very MUCH, people who think all of us poor people are taking “government handouts,” I work two jobs very hard just to make ends meet) just because it’s making me a slutty slut of Slutdonia? Also, if I don’t take my birth control, I have a very increased risk of uterine cancer. Which, honestly, he’d want. Death would shut me up, I’d guess. Although he’d have to pay for my hospital stay, so really it’s a double-edged sword.

      I’m wondering if it’s like he’s trolling the world, since the comments are so ridiculous. Do you think there’s a chance he’s trolling the world and he doesn’t even believe what he’s saying?

      Like

      • sj

        Oh, I totally agree, he was definitely swoon-worthy back then. <3

        You know what sucks? I can't even take hormonal birth control because it messes with me so badly. I’m the minuscule percent that ends up having all of the side effects, like the time I had my period for four months straight. “Oh, your body just needs time to adjust.” Finally, they had to admit that I wasn’t going to adjust and I was told that I’d either need to use condoms or have my tubes tied (which I actually plan to do this year – we have four kids, we really don’t need any more). My periods aren’t even that painful, but the mittelschmertz is disabling. When I’m ovulating, it hurts to sit. That’s the time I most wish that I was able to take hormonal birth control because nothing helps.

        It really does feel like he’s trolling us all sometimes. I wish I thought he was clever enough to do that, it would take the edge off of some of the rage that’s bubbling through me right now.

        Like

        • lucysfootball

          Oh, that sucks! I’m going through issues with mine now – on a new one that’s got me in crazy pain – but today I was laughing, thinking, “hmm, I sure am in a lot of pain, for being such a total whorebag.” (Autocorrect thinks whorebag should be shorebirds. Ha! Yes. This. For life.)

          Like

      • Andreas Heinakroon

        Oh, if only he was a troll. I like trolls. I’m gonna have to write a post about trolls soon, I really do.

        Like

  • Rod (@airigoagain)

    How can a man that needs to take viagra have a superior penis? Even a deflated balloon can be blown up (NO PUN INTENDED!!! It was bad enough with the huffing and puffing imagery in the post!).

    Can that college student sue his for defamation of character? Because we all know that he has lots of money! I’m not in favor of people just suing because they can, but I think that in this case it may be the only way to teach a lesson that more than a few need to learn i.e. Shut your cake-hole, eejit!

    Like

    • Rod (@airigoagain)

      Additionally, now might actually be a good time to have a talk with your dad.

      I know, I know, you don’t want to fight with him BUT you’ve been his little girl a LOT longer than you’ve been Rush’s “slut”. If ever there was a hole in the armor of his love of him, it would be this.

      Change only happens when people’s views are challenged. It’s up to you if you want or not, but I just thought I’d poke you with the encouragement stick anyway.

      Have a great night!!

      Like

      • lucysfootball

        Nope. He’d just start yelling, tell me Obama brainwashed me, and hang up. It’s been tried before, believe me. On many occasions. Never ends in anything but anger & hard feelings.

        Like

        • borkadventures

          Mwah-haha that’s what my mom says too!

          Actually, I sent a ranting email about Rush’s sluts, and she says George stephanoplous started it. When you’re put in a corner, always blame a “liberal”…she uses the term “liberal” liberally for anyone who doesn’t agree with her, so I use it sparingly. But, my husband and I get the distinction of “commies”.

          Like

          • lucysfootball

            George Stephanopoulos started it? What, the slut-shaming? No. Not little wee George! I like him! Is she making that up?

            Hee, commies! I get tree-hugger from my dad, sometimes! :)

            Like

            • borkadventures

              So, I looked into it per my mom’s request, and Georgie asked Romney in a debate whether he thought states should ban contraception, or something like that. Here’s a lovely little blog post by a conservative on this take on the contraception issue: “George Stephanopoulos, contraception, Rush Limbaugh, and a slut called Sandra Flukes tells congress needs her free birth control”
              I might be elitist for saying this, but this guy really needs to learn how to write. Just sayin’. But, I think this is where my mom is coming from. Always good to know what the other side is saying…

              Like

              • lucysfootball

                I am so glad I read this. Thank you for posting it. Because I now know, if I ever bring it up to my dad, how he’s going to respond. That it’s a Democratic plot to make the Republicans and Rush look bad. (He watches pretty much nothing but Fox News. So that’s THE NEWS. And it’s NEVER WRONG. Even if I show him video clips refuting it. He says they’re “doctored by the government” and “that’s what they WANT you to believe” and “how can someone as smart as you believe lies like that,” etc.) Yes, it’s like talking to a conspiracy theorist a lot of the time; I’m often afraid he’s going to crawl into a bunker.

                Like

                • borkadventures

                  I always get “wait til’ you’re older, then you’ll understand. Everybody’s a liberal when they’re young.” or she gets upset and plays the “that’s just stupid!” card. She’s never been good at argumentation.

                  Like

                  • lucysfootball

                    My favorite is, “I don’t understand how someone as smart as you can be so stupid.” That isn’t demeaning at all. Just because I DISAGREE with you, I’m STUPID? Grumble. This is why I avoid talking politics with him as much as humanly possible!

                    Like

                    • borkadventures

                      ditto…I am always stupid. Almost as soon as I sent a ranting email to my mom about Rush, I regretted it. I knew how nasty she can get.

                      We love them, but they can be pretty cruel at times, huh? But, they’ll never change. It’s best for us to avoid these conversations. We have to be the grownups.

                      That sucks.

                      Like

                    • lucysfootball

                      At least we have the internet to be normal with!

                      I also find it funny that they’re so mad we’re not just like them. I think, if I had a kid, even though on some level I’d be all, “Whaaa? How could he/she be unlike me?” I’d also think, “how amazing that my kid has such a great mind and has thoughts all his or her own, and is strong enough to back his or her convictions!” I think I’d be so proud of that. I mean, I can’t say I’d be jazzed if I had a kid that listened to Rush, or anything – but I’d be proud I gave him or her a mind of his or her own, to use at will, if that makes sense?

                      Like

                    • borkadventures

                      It absolutely makes sense! And I always want to scream at my mom “you made me this way!!” she made me feminist, she made me pursue my interests, she made me strong. And…she voted for Clinton! She raised me to have these beliefs, but she doesn’t follow them! It drives me nuts!

                      Like

                    • lucysfootball

                      Same with my dad! I think your mom and my dad would get along like gangbusters! :)

                      Like

            • davidjfuller

              Sorry if I am jumping in at the wrong place, but speaking for liberal-minded Canadians (not Liberal-minded, necessarily; no party affiliation for me), this is what scares the bejeezus out of us when it comes to Americans: that a lunatic like Limbaugh can command so large an audience. It boggles the mind. Glad to see advertisers and GOP leaders (finally) realize he’s toxic.

              Like

              • lucysfootball

                You’re never jumping in at the wrong place. Jump in wherever!

                It is a worry. And I promise it’s not all Americans! I’d like to say not even half of us! There are a lot of very calm, very level-headed Americans! I mean, I’m not really either, I’m a little looney, but there are some out there, I promise! :)

                Like

    • lucysfootball

      The student’s response was lovely, so mature. I was proud. I’d never have handled myself so well. I’d have yelled.

      Like

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    “whee, lookit me! LOOKIT ME! I GOTS ME A DING DONG!” had me laughing out loud!

    But I’m reminded of how lucky I am living in a secularised society where religious ultra-right extremists are confined to the fringe, without any real chance of ever getting into power. And <again, I’m sad to see such a big proud country as the United States getting into the grips of such lunatics. What can be done about it?

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      I’m glad you liked that. It had me giggling, too. :)

      I don’t know. I assume we need to stand up to the bullies & there need to be consequences for hate speech. But women are too often the target now. These are scary times.

      Like

  • Em

    Well, I could have all the sex all the time and not worry my wee little female head about birth control. As we know. Except …. my uterus has tried to kill me too! Yeesh. It’s so ridiculous to be able to have all the sex, not worry about birth control and have an organ try to kill you.

    Also, just to report from the frontlines, so to speak. Way a long time ago I went to Georgetown undergrad and I thought they were trying to kill me with schoolwork. (I ran out of money before I ran out of school, so I didn’t graduate.) Also? I was an legal secretary for a prof at NYU law school and those law students would call me at 3:00 am in a panic about various assignments. Make of that what you will but I personally had an upswing in my own social life after I quit that job.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Uteruses are very dangerous organs. They’re like silent assassins, really.

      I think being a law student, or working in law, might be like my social life during tax season – non-existent. Lots of shower-weeping and total exhaustion. Not much time for all the sluttation.

      Like

  • Kris Rudin

    Just gotta pipe in here. I am female. And a Christian. And am very conservative on many issues. But. BUT! I see nothing, NOTHING anti-Christian in having insurance pay for women’s birth control!! Please! Have a clue, “female, conservative Christian” – Rush Limbaugh is NOT God’s prophet! He is a mean-spirited hater.

    And, let’s not forget that VIAGRA, which is ONLY used for sexual purposes, is covered by insurance.

    Hmmm….

    ;)

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Even my mom, who’s as conservative and Christian as anyone I know, brought up Viagra being covered tonight when we discussed this. And yes, Viagra is ONLY for sexual purposes. Yet you never hear that being brought up in debate, now, do you? Hmm. Wonder why that is (she says sarcastically.)

      Like

  • Domestic Goddess in Training

    I love this letter! I think it is crazy that there are still people who think birth control pills are just for preventing pregnancy! I was put on birth control pills way before I even thought about sex (at the time I was a fundamentalist baptist too which was quite scandalous too). In fact, amazingly enough I did not run out and have sex. It did not change anything about my plans to wait to have sex. People have sex because they want to have sex… birth control or not.

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Thank you!

      Me too – I’ve been on birth control for a very long time, and like I said, have never once used it for its “intended” purpose, even when I’ve BEEN sexually active. I just don’t trust it enough. Condoms stop me from catching the ick. And who wants the ick? Certainly not me. So it’s condoms for me.

      Like

  • borkadventures

    Thanks Amy for using your wonderful rhetorical skills to write everything I felt when I read about Rush’s comments. I am a slut and proud of it!

    Like

  • Mister Doctor Professor Susurrus M. Chiaroscuro, Esquire

    Ugh. . . what the. . .

    1) “me with my far-less-superior vagina, just hanging out. ” Your vagina is hanging out? Slut.

    2) Political discussions of any kind make me queasy. I’m conservative. or. . . at least I doggedly CLAIM I am, though between Santorum and Limbaugh I’m starting to feel pushed out of my “comfort” zone and into more evil. . . er. . . sorry, force of habit, “liberal” views.

    3) You are under the mistaken impression that Viagra is only taken for sexual reasons. It can also, in the absence of a hammer, be taken so that a man can use his penis to pound nails in light construction work. (mental image)

    4) I don’t understand why Jesus isn’t more confident. I think we all need to have a big intervention with Jesus and talk to him about his confidence issues. If Jesus’ way is to abstain and Satan’s way is to have sex for pleasure, can’t women still take birth control . . . AND abstain? I mean, choosing birth control doesn’t mean eternal damnation, right? So. . . why are Christians so upset about this? Insurance pays for birth control, but that doesn’t mean by taking birth control you MUST have sex. Or wait. . . does it? We had that long conversation (sorta) in a previous blog post about abortion, right? And you know my views on the whole “it’s my body” thing and “I have a right to choose”. My objection to that was the idea that someone was getting hurt. . . that a choice had ALREADY been made (in the case of two consenting adults, yada yada). THIS isn’t even as morally ambiguous as that was. Where is the harm? Where is the blasphemy? Where is the sin and evil? I just totally don’t get this “issue”. I think I have to talk to my Bible-study-leader mom about this.

    5) I am SO EXCITED you got a hater!!!! You are SERIOUSLY big time now, Amy. Unless it was one of your friends who just pretended to hate your ideas to make you feel good about your blog. . .

    Like

    • lucysfootball

      Again, this made me snort-laugh. I’m totally such a slut with my hanging-out-i-ness.

      I think it’ll end up Romney with the nomination, right? It will, right? Santorum can’t get the nomination. I mean, if he does, isn’t it just a shoo-in for Obama? I can’t think of the alternative, I just can’t, I’ll die dead.

      I’m pretty sure that people think once you take birth control, you can’t keep your legs closed. It’s like they just flop open. At the grocery store, the library, wherever. HERE’S MY COOTCH I’M ON THE PILL DO ME I CAN’T CONTROL MYSELF.

      I know, right? The hater thing is pretty big-time. I even checked the little numbers under their name that only I can see, to see if I know them. I do NOT. I think it’s a REAL HATER. BA-BLAMMO! #1 with a bullet, baby.

      Like

%d bloggers like this: