- Hobo finds an undetonated World War II bomb. (This seems…unlikely.)
- A family is trapped on a deserted island. (Then how did a DOG get there?)
- A mime and a deaf boy help Hobo prevent a robbery. (This sounds horrifying. And kind of like the setup for a dirty joke.)
- Hobo is declared a new species of dog and flees people trying to capture him. (What? A new species of dog? Like a genetically engineered dog, or…what?)
- A gambler plans to sabotage a lumberjack contest. (Yes, because that’s where the big money’s riding. Lumberjack competitions. Everyone knows that.)
- A criminal steals and tries to sell a secret laser. (For one…meeeelion….dollars! Mike Myers is Canadian. I think The Littlest Hobo people might have grounds for a lawsuit, here.)
- Hobo is sought in a fraternity scavenger hunt. (Also known as “the year the fraternity was kicked out of the college for lameness”)
- Hobo meets a “very special friend” who believes he can understand what animals are thinking. The pair matches wits with a warehouse full of gold thieves. (Yeah. I…don’t know what to say about this. It sounds like it was full of hijiinks, though. Also, why is the “friend” so “special?” Were there “bad touches?”)
- Hobo befriends a lonely clown. (WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THIS)
- A farmer and his mail-order bride seem incompatible. (Um…well, yeah, I can see how that could happen. Because you ordered her? Through the mail?)
- A rival tries to have a harmonica player fired. (Ah, yes. The cut-throat world of harmonica playing. This probably was a two-part special, followed the seamy underbelly of lumberjack competitions.)
- A young mute girl and her father are being blackmailed into conducting fake seances. Hobo is able to break the blackmailers’ hold by cleverly investigating and manipulating the mechanics of the ruse. (He is a dog. How was he able to manipulate anything? He doesn’t have opposable thumbs. Also, seances! Scary!)
- Hobo turns health inspector when botulism is discovered at a campground. (Because in Canada, affirmative action means the best “creature” for the job? I don’t know.)
- Hobo stalks an ominous carnival patron. (You know who you should stalk, Hobo? That SAD CLOWN FROM EARLIER.)
- Hobo mans a disco control panel and helps the victim of an underworld frame-up. (“A disco control panel?” Like, Hobo was a DJ? Awesome.)
- Hobo encourages a paraplegic boy to enter a Frisbee-throwing contest. (Um. Yeah. This just…seems mean?)
Other interesting things to note are that there are multiple episodes where Hobo is mistaken for a wolf (apparently this was a success, ratings-wise, or they were running out of ideas. Also, Hobo doesn’t look a lot like a wolf. See below), multiple episodes where Hobo plays matchmaker (because THAT’S not at all disturbing, a dog playing matchmaker), and multiple episodes where he hangs out with other indigent people (who are listed as “bums” or “runaways” or “hitchhikers” but never “hobos” because we already HAVE a hobo and two would be way too confusing.)
And one more – in this clip, Hobo helps the stupidest people alive escape from a car. (I know. You wanted to see Hobo be a DJ. SO DID I. YouTube does not seem to have that available to me. I’m so sorry for getting your hopes up.) I’m inclined to say he should have let them die there, because natural selection was taking them out for a reason. “It – it’s a DOG! It’s STANDING! On the CAR!” Wow, Mistress of Observation! (Also, I’m confused about what happens right after the men run out of the house to save the women in the car. What’s going on behind that curtain? A ghost? The cameraman forgot to follow them? This is perplexing.) Oh, and apparently, one of the girls is Megan Follows from Anne of Green Gables? That makes me sad. I’m going to pretend to un-know that.
Now, before I get hate mail from people who loooooved this show growing up – so did I. I mean, I watched it, anyway. Mainly because I didn’t have much of a choice. But seriously, please think about this. A strange dog shows up and starts tugging you around or picking crap up in its mouth or solving “mysteries” or whatever, and this is just normal? Even in the late 70’s, early 80’s, I think this would be a red flag, and animal control would have been called. I worked for the Humane Society for two years and I never met a stray dog who was this intelligent. I mean, yes, I guess some were crafty and got out of holes in fences or something, but I don’t see a single episode where “Hobo escapes from the shelter” is listed as the show description. I guess he’s just too crafty to even get picked up by an Animal Control Officer? I mean, he was a DJ and a health inspector, so I suppose he can evade an Animal Control Officer easily enough.
July 22nd, 2011 at 10:52 pm
Just so you know, The Littlest Hobo still airs on CBC at 6AM on the weekend. You're welcome.
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July 23rd, 2011 at 10:05 pm
Is it as awful as I remember? I get CBC when I visit home & I'm going to be home for vacation next week…although I'm opposed to waking up that early while on vacation, I might have to check it out. If the DJ episode comes on, I WILL DIE.
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