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Category Archives: happiness

March 10, 2013

The world’s gonna wake up and see Baltimore and me

By lucysfootball

Well, this is only March 10 and this has  already been a very exciting month, hasn’t it? Trips to New York to meet the most wonderful friend, and a new cat? Well! Let’s not let the excitement end, I mean, where’s the fun in THAT, I ask you?

Yes! It is true! We have one more exciting thing to discuss!

First, before we start, it’s a very important day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AMY’S DAD! He is grumbly about his birthday and I sent him a sappy card and he was all, “THAT CARD WAS SAPPY” and I said, “Oh, ok” and he said, “IT MADE ME HAVE SEASONAL ALLERGIES OF THE EYES” and I said, “Well, that’s ok then, I love you, you dork” and he said, “You’re not supposed to call your father a dork, RUDE” and so there you have it. Happy birthday, dork, you make me laugh. I love you.

So one of my oldest friends (in TIME, not in AGE, she’s not like 90, come on) is friend R. Friend R. and I met one of the first days of college. We were both seventeen. SEVENTEEN! Can you even imagine being that young and optimistic about life? My goodness, that seems like a million billion years ago. Back then, I used to wear skirts. On PURPOSE! And think I was going to conquer the WORLD! (Fine, I still sort of think I could do that, but I don’t wear skirts now unless I really, really have to.)

I wore a lot of these in college. I was trying to be a hippie, I guess.

I wore a lot of these in college. I was trying to be a hippie, I guess.

Friend R. and I worked in the college dining hall together. Listen, that was like being in military service together. You bonded over that job. Because it was NASTY. You can’t even imagine the disgusting shenanigans kids away from home for the first time got up to when eating food. Imagine pigs at a trough, only with opposable thumbs and minds set on mass destruction. Also, they were rude. And demanding. And snotty. And we had to wear shirts that never really got clean, no matter how much you washed them, so you always smelled like sweat and rotting food, so as you can imagine, you totally had a lot of hookups happening in that dining hall. (It sounds like I’m being sarcastic, but there actually WERE a lot of hookups happening. Ooh, the dining hall gossip and irresponsible late-night assignations!)

Friend R. and I bonded right away. She was fun and totally got my insane sense of humor and we used to make each other laugh and laugh so much that sometimes we had to duck into the kitchen so we didn’t get in trouble for laughing in front of the customers.

Friend R. and I went on to be roommates, both in college, then in grad school, and then went our separate ways, as people do. But we remained friends, and still talked and wrote and made each other laugh long-distance. And when, a few years ago, I went to visit her in the town where she grew up, and I got to meet her then-boyfriend A., I thought to myself, “yes, this is the guy for friend R. He makes her eyes light up.” And he did. (It didn’t hurt that one of the very first interactions I had with him was him doing a Muppet impression for me. He won me over right there. I do so love someone who’s not afraid to potentially make a fool out of themselves and still totally goes for it. That takes guts. I so admire that.)

Friend R. went on to MARRY A. and now they are R. and A.! They are a happy couple and could NOT be more adorable.

And THEN, late in 2011, friend R. called me. “I have news!” she said. I have known this woman since back in the DAY. I immediately knew what that news was. Without even a doubt. “YOU ARE PREGNANT!!!” I said gleefully. AND SHE WAS!

And last April, Baby CeeVee was born! And I know I am BIASED and I think the children of the people I love are the most beautiful, but she really is. This kid is all smiles. And the most beautiful eyes. And OBVIOUSLY brilliant, because I totally saw a video of her saying a WORD the other day so I’m pretty sure she’s going to grow up to run the planet or something.

Well, last year, R. and A. said, “When will you come and visit us?” and I had plans to visit them in September. Well, you all know what happened last September. UNEMPLOYMENT, is what. Unemployment doesn’t lead to visiting. Unemployment leads to working a billion hours at your part-time job and not having enough time to breathe and when you DO, the breathing is SCARY because you are having a PANIC ATTACK.

But! New job! Time off! Money to travel with!

Guess what?

I AM GOING TO BALTIMORE!

(PS, when Baby CeeVee saw this photo she did happy flapping like a penguin; I think this is a good sign we will get along like PEAS and CARROTS, don’t you?)

I’m there from a Thursday to a Monday; I’m taking the train (it takes about 6 hours – well, 5, with an hour layover in New York City, which is unfortunately not long enough to have an adventure!) because the train ended up being about as much as I’d pay for gas, and plus I can kick back and read and not have to worry about driving through big cities or potentially breaking down somewhere or something worrisome like that; I got my time off approved at work (YAY MY WORK!) and it’s now less than two months away.

And guess where we’re going?

THE ZOO!

Where there are…

PENGUINS!!!!

PENGUINS!!!!

…and…

Kookaburras!

Kookaburras!

…and…

Giraffes!

Giraffes!

..and…

A large cat that might be a cheetah putting its HEAD in a BOX!

A large cat that might be a cheetah putting its HEAD in a BOX!

Oh, this is VERY exciting! R. and A. have a MEMBERSHIP to the zoo so we get to flounce in like FANCY people! I would assume that means we get to the gate and they say, “OMGGGG! It is R. and A. and Baby CeeVee and you have brought a FRIEND! Which animals would you like to pet today?” I mean, that’s what membership gets you, right? RIGHT?

(I’m going to choose to touch a penguin, of course. I’ve already touched a giraffe and that cheetah would eat my face off. Andreas told me that penguins are cool with humans so they would let me touch them.)

Also, listen, I have never been to Baltimore! Or even to Maryland! There are many things we could do!

We could see…

The OCEAN!

The OCEAN!

or…

The National Aquarium! THE WHOLE NATION, you guys!

The National Aquarium! THE WHOLE NATION’S aquarium, you guys!

or…

Oriole Park! If you build it, they will totally come.

Oriole Park! If you build it, they will totally come. (Not a euphemism.)

or…

The Baltimore Museum of Art! It looks like a TEMPLE!

The Baltimore Museum of Art! It looks like a TEMPLE!

or…

The Edgar Allen Poe House and Museum! Ooh, maybe I'll find the lost Lenore there!

The Edgar Allen Poe House and Museum! Ooh, maybe I’ll find the lost Lenore there!

or…

The USS Torsk! Hee, Torsk. Also, this SHIP looks like a SHARK. We're gonna need a bigger boat.

The USS Torsk! Hee, Torsk. Also, this SHIP looks like a SHARK. We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

SO MANY THINGS WE CAN DO!!!

R. asked me what I wanted to do while I was there and I told her, “ZOO!” because you know me and zoos. And then I said, “Also I would like to eat some seafood. And maybe see the Poe House.” Then I thought and said, “Or, you know, if I ended up staying in the house the whole weekend and playing with baby CeeVee and seeing you guys, that would be ok, too.”

And it totally would. I’m fairly sure I could make an adventure out of a trip to the grocery store. It’s one of my more endearing qualities, truly. Unless you’re annoyed by such things.

Also, can I just say? I never in my life thought I’d get to travel. I feel like I’m living someone else’s life right now. Well, if I’ve tricked my way into someone else’s life, I’m going to make the most of it, dammit. TRAVEL TO ALL THE PLACES!!!

So, in less than two months? Totally going on an adventure. This time to a place I have never been to see someone who’s known me for longer than most people have. (And she and A. totally read. HI R. AND A.!!! Thank you for the invitation, I promise to behave and to try not to spill anything on your couch and/or tablecloth! And to be the best unofficial aunt to Baby CeeVee! AND BRING MANY PRESENTS!!!)

Are we ready for an adventure, loyal blog readers? What shenanigans will I get up to in a whole new STATE, I wonder?

YAY FOR ADVENTURES! This year is totally trying to suck, but I am kicking its ass. No year gets to misbehave on my watch, yo.

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29 comments | posted in America, birthday, family, friends, happiness, spazzing out, travel

March 9, 2013

A Very Exciting Day! (A Guest Post by Dumbcat!)

By lucysfootball

Helo blog peeple:

MoM sed I culd write to yew todey and I said GUD becauze we have thingz to talk ebout!

First MommE said to say hi how are youu. So hi to you nices peeple. I am a cat. Mom sayz my brain is made of puding but I think no. I am just a furree catt who sometiems fallz off stuff.

Also LISETN! Momee soemtimez doesnent get home until LATETIMES and I do not get crunchy treetz at the tiem I liek wich is 8 PEE EMM. When she getz hoem, I say MEOIOUW MOM! Becauzze it is SO LAET! And she says SORRY DUMBCATT! And gievs me the treets that are crunchee adn smell like fishes or chickens. Then she pets me on my head and I purr lots and also roll around and once I fell off the cowch. She can not taek me to the latenight places becauze I wuld be afraid of things like noyses and also peeple and outdors.

Once tiem I had a sistre. She was brown and also black and sometiems my frend but sometiems growly. Sometiems she let me sleepe with her in a curled up balle and I lieked that a lot because it was warm but then sometimes she would bite my faece.

One day my sistere got sick and hid undre the bed and wuld not come out and then MomM was sad and cryed. And then my sistre went away and she did not come baek adn I was all alone catt. Soemtimes I wuld sing meow meowww to Mom so she wuld not be so sad and miss my sistre so much but mostly she would say “Dumbcatt you aer lonely aren’t yew” and I think I am loenly.

Momee wanted a Newcatt for a long tiem but things happend liek she was not wurking and thought we mught have to live in the carr and also maybe she culd not aford catt fud. Then she started a new jobb so she said, “Dumbcat! We will get a new frend for you.” So I was exceited but also nervus becaze what if newcatt did not luv me or what if mommee loved newcatt more than me I am Dumbcatt?

Todaye momee was laet to come home so I sade “sigh sigh MOMEE why so LATE MOM.” But when she came home LOOK WHAT SHE HAD!

A BOX! The box was MOVINGG! And MEOEWING! And I was curious so I SMELLEED it!1!

Mommee sed “Dumbbcatt wat dew yu thinkk is that?” I DID NOT KNOW!

So I rolled all around gleefuly.

MomEE said, “You are weirdd, I luv you.” I rolled MORE. The box MOVED MORE TIEMS!

What dew you thnk is in this box? It is not an octopes or a snaek. Thoes were my gesses, too, but they were wronge.

IT WuS a NEWCAT!

Newcat came owt of her box and I made BIG EYES! She looked just liek my OTHER SISTRE except FATTRE! Momee says I am not allowed to call laYdees fatt because it is rude and alsow I am pretty also fatt. So I am sory, new sistre. YOU ARE NoT FATT!

New sistre is a pretty color called tortsehele. (Editor’s Note: She is a tortoiseshell; sorry, that one was hard for my little guy to spell for you.) She has eyes that are YELLLLLOW! I uesed lots of Ls for you becuz they are perrty.

Newcat saw me and I saw Newcat and I FELL IN LOVE! I want to be her best frend and cuddel up and sleepe for many houers! So I went up to her and said “Meiou?” in a very poliet way and she said “Growl grumbel HISS!” and jumped out of the boxx!

I think she has STYEL.

I folowed her all aroend the living rum and she was investigatng it with her noes. I said “meiouw?” and she would say “grumbel!” but I think maybe that means “hellow” in her langwage. She did not try to hit me with her pawz or clawz.

Then she investigaeted the WHOLE HOWSE and smeled ALL THE THINGZ and even tried to get in my potz and panz cubbord so I knew we were MENT TO BE. Mommee said “No no Newcat!” and laffed and I lieked to hear her laugh about a new cat but then I thought, what if momEE loves Newcat MORE than Dumbcatt who is me?

When Newcat went to smelle the hallway Momee picked me up and said, “You are my best boye” and cuddled my whole faec and then I knewe she loves me still then I sade “MMPH!” and she put me downe becase I do not liek to be tuched.

Newcat keeps hiding in the bedroom but momEE said she went in there and Newcat let her cuddle her so she will be alrite, I just haev to be patienet but I do not know what that meens. I keep going to look for her adn I find her undre the bed and she says “grumble!”

Momee says to tell you Newcat is probably about FIEV YERS OLD and is FIXED SO NO BABBIES and the sheltre said she was HELTHY and we will go to the vet next week for a chekup and I do not like the vet becuz he touchs my fur adn puts a thermter in my bum. Mommee says don’t to say bum on the blogge becuz it is not poliet.

I loev my new sistre and so much. I am very excted. Momm says to let Newcat blogg now becaus that would be nice to maek her like me moretimes and I think ok.

Here is Newcat! Goodbey blogg peopel, mayeb someday I will taelk to you agen! I will slepe on Momees leg now.

Hello to you, blog people. I am Newcat. I have a name, but my new caretaker, who tells me she is my mother but I don’t have to call her Mom until I am comfortable with that, says I need a social media alias; therefore, Newcat it will be.

I was at the shelter in Saratoga for for four months. Saratoga is where classy people and horses live; however, apparently not classy enough to notice quality when they see it. Four months is a very long time and the cages are not very big. Sometimes the cats housed beside me were most uncouth.

Did I mention the particular shelter I was in was in a mall? Yes. I know. It is most beneath me!

Did I mention the particular shelter I was in was in a mall? Yes. I know. It is most beneath me!

Today, a crazy-eyed lady with hair all awry came in. She opened my cage and politely petted me. I liked her. She seemed to understand the ways of the cat. “Hello,” she said. “What do you think, want to come home with me?” I was undecided, but headbutted her. She seemed to like that.

She then went on to check out another cat. I knew that wouldn’t go well. Although that cat is pretty, she is crazy. And, yes! Lady with Crazy Eyes got scratched. Could have told her that was coming.

“I think I will take the tortoiseshell,” Lady with Crazy Eyes said.

We went into a weird pen to get to know each other. “This is weird, I feel like we’re in kitty-jail,” said the lady. There were many people gawking at us and I grumbled and grumbled and the new lady said, “I’m not sure if you’re grumbling because we’re on display like whores in Amsterdam or because you hate me. Give me a sign, here, girl, we’ve only got a few minutes.” Then she picked me up and put me on her lap and I CONTINUED to grumble because I was MOST displeased. “I know what you’re saying, Newcat,” said the lady. “I think it’s high time we blow this popstand, what do you say?”

Then the lady put me back in my cage and I thought perhaps it was like all the other times I had been petted but then returned. Oh, well, I thought. Nice try. But THEN the ladies that work in the shelter PUT ME IN A BOX. A BOX! How ignominious! I did not like that. No I did not. I grumbled and made protesting meows. Then I heard the lady. “Ready to go home, Newcat?” the lady said. Well! What is this strange turn of events, I ask you?

Now I am in a new place, which I have investigated thoroughly. There is a cat here who seems…challenged. He follows me around with a most vacant expression in his eyes. I have put him in his place with grumbles and hisses. He seems undaunted, however.

Earlier, the lady picked me up and put me on the bed. “You can sleep here,” she said. “This whole place is yours now, Newcat.” The bed was soft and crumply with feathers. She laid down next to me and petted and petted me. I couldn’t even help purring and rolling around and headbutting her with much abandon. Please don’t judge me. She’s an excellent petter of cats. She knows all the spots that need petting.

I think I will like it here. It is a home that is most accepting of cats and when I jumped on the table earlier to check out what delicious foodstuffs she was eating for her evening repast she didn’t even yell, just said, “Get off the table, you!” and laughed.

Ah, life, you have perhaps taken a fortuitous turn for me. HISS GRUMBLE. Sorry, that vacant-eyed cat was getting too close again.

Until later, people of the internet. Have very productive days filled with joie de vivre.

(Editor’s note: Yes. It is TRUE! A new cat has entered the Lucy’s Football household. We now have Dumbcat and Newcat. Newcat is currently hiding under the bed; she is plum tuckered out. It’s been a long day for her. We are very pleased; this has been a long time coming. 15 months, actually. Happy birthday, Newcat! I hope you love it here as much as we love having you here!)

27 comments | posted in animals, Cats, happiness, pets, photos

March 8, 2013

Those were the reasons and that was New York: a day with Andreas (part five)

By lucysfootball

OK, let’s see if we can get this puppy wrapped up today. Which honestly, is a little sad? Because that means it’s over. I was grocery shopping today and I realized that a week ago, I was grocery shopping for things for my trip to New York last week, and now that is a whole week ago. Sigh.

So let’s see. We are now at LUSH, shopping for bath and body supplies. LUSH is very crowded. It always is. LUSH stores are all very small, smell delicious, and are packed with people. It’s the rule, apparently.

So FIRST, we smelled all the soaps. This was kind of the most fun. Mostly I made comments like this:

  • “I like this one. It smells like lemonade.”
  • “Don’t ever buy this soap. It’s got raisins in it. RAISINS. And they get all over your bathtub floor and clog the drain.”
  • “This soap is called Lust but mostly it smells sneezy and terrible, and if someone used it for sexytimes I think I would gag. That’s not lusty, it’s vomity.”
  • “This is a good soap for you because it smells like men.”
  • “This soap is good because it’s both lemony AND scrubby so it’s like two things in one. It’s a multitasky soap.”
  • “This soap smells like nothing. If I wanted a soap that smelled like nothing I could get one at the drugstore and I wouldn’t pay a billion dollars for it there.”

So then Andreas picked out some soap and I picked out some soap and also I got a shampoo bar and then the salespeople tried to sell us things like a hair treatment that smelled like the beach and a tin for my shampoo bar and we nodded politely but we didn’t want that hair stuff and I already had a tin at home. Then it was time to pay and here is the best thing. So at LUSH, they cut you a piece of soap from a BIG piece of soap to order. Like, you tell them you want a quarter-pound of soap, and they cut it for you right there. They pride themselves on being fresh. That’s their thing. So the lady went to cut our soap (NOT A EUPHEMISM) and when she came back she handed us our soap. Andreas was getting BIG chunks of soap. “You are NOT KIDDING AROUND ABOUT YOUR SOAP!” she said to me. Because I’m a lady. She thought the soap was for ME. I totally told on Andreas. “Oh, that’s his,” I said. When I said that? He became the hero of LUSH. ALL THE LADIES AT LUSH LOVED HIM. They were all starry-eyed over a man who knew his soap. The checkout lady was all impressed, and then one of the salesladies was all impressed with him. It made me giggle. He was the hero of the good-smelling soap store!

Here’s my LUSH haul:

Ooh, look, I’m gonna be fancy. CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: Sandstone soap (lemony and also with sand in it, so it’s scrubby AND lemony); Coalface cleanser (the BEST soap for my weird facial issues; unfortunately, it is very expensive, but if I could afford it, I would use it all the time); and Seanik shampoo bar (smells like the ocean and lasts forever as long as you keep it dry between showers; it’s very handy for traveling!) YAY FOR LUSH! Thank you for going to LUSH with me, Andreas!

Then we needed to find an outfit for his wonderful daughter. Now, sizes in Europe and America are different for little ones, but we were smart and researched it on the internet, and knew going into it what size to look for. WE WERE PREPARED!

We were not prepared for not being able to find a single place that sold children’s clothes on the entire street. And it was a big street. 6th Avenue. I mean, seriously. That street doesn’t dick around, you guys. IT IS THE AVENUE OF THE AMERICAS. MERKA!!!! If you walk far enough, it becomes TIMES SQUARE! And the Empire State Building is right there, I mean, come on!

MERKAS!!!!!

MERKAS!!!!!

So we walked and walked and WALKED and I really was just hoping for a Baby Gap, seriously. We went into Macy’s because we thought maybe there would be baby clothes in there (shush, I’m about to tell you a shocking thing, I HAVE NEVER BEEN INSIDE A MACY’S BEFORE SATURDAY, I know, I always thought it was TOO FANCY FOR ME) and come to find out there were no baby clothes, and it was the weirdest store I’ve ever been in. It’s not like I imagined it at all. It’s like all different counters for different very expensive things like fancy purses and super-expensive makeup. I thought it was going to be like an expensive version of Sears. I know. I’m a weirdo. Anyway, the music in there was SO LOUD. It was “Moves Like Jagger” which I hate anyway but SO LOUD. Like, we could not hear each other talk. It was like being in a disco where you could also buy a handbag or a tuxedo. We ran out of there like we were on fire, seriously.

Then we just kept walking and walking and walking and looking for a Baby Gap and guess what we saw in the middle of the street? SOMETHING TERRIFYING!

SCARY ELMO BUT NOT!

SCARY ELMO BUT NOT!

AND…

COOKIE MONSTER BUT NOT! *shudder*

COOKIE MONSTER BUT NOT! *shudder*

They looked filthy and creepy and I was so afraid they were going to look at me or touch me so I went past them super-fast and with this noise: “EEEEEE!” because I don’t trust people in suits. I don’t know their intentions or that they’re not John Wayne Gacy in there.

FINALLY WE SAW A BABY GAP! It was like angels sang! So we went in and looked at adorable little-girl clothes that made me smile. Come to find out that the research we did was for naught. FOR. NAUGHT. Because at Baby Gap, they have sizes by WEIGHT or HEIGHT or AGE. That seems foolish. Just size things like normal humans, Baby Gap.

We found the BEST outfit, however, because we are AWESOME, and I told Andreas he could pretend he didn’t have help picking it out when he got home but he said he wouldn’t lie. AW! Listen, Andreas is possibly one of the most stand-up guys I know. Sincerely. It’s kind of awe-inspiring and makes me so happy. So we found a little pink skirt with a little crinoline peeking out at the bottom and a pink sweater that matched and it was so cute it made my whole ovaries cramp up. STOP THAT FOOLISH OVARIES!!!

(SIDE NOTE: I’m totally biased and I think all my friends’ babies are the most beautiful so it won’t surprise you that I think Andreas’ children are the most beautiful children ever ever EVER. Imagining her in that little outfit made me grin and grin.)

The salesperson was ALSO impressed with our shopping prowess and then I think he thought we were married until he asked “where are you from?” and we said “Albany and Finland” and laughed. ALSO, the outfit was totally on some sort of secret SALE, so as you can see we win shopping.

Then we decided to go back to the hotel and decide where to have dinner. Because guess what time it was? Almost time to go. Sigh.

So back to the hotel! Past the scary not-Elmo and not-Cookie Monster! Past men who attempted to hoodwink us and bring us to the Empire State Building and that was weird! ALL THE WALKING!

Stop trying to bamboozle me, people, I've already BEEN to the Empire State Building, it's not like it changes up there!

Stop trying to bamboozle me, people, I’ve already BEEN to the Empire State Building, it’s not like it changes up there!

Then we went back to the hotel and researched Thai restaurants because Andreas totally waited to get Thai until I got there because he knows I love Thai. Isn’t that so nice? Yes. We also played a game called “Amy looks at Andreas’ passport and says all the names of the animals in there in terrible Swedish and makes Andreas laugh and laugh at her pronunciation and also makes fun of the drawings because some of them were so awful.” Honestly, it was one of the most fun things. Partly because animals and partly because I got to hear Andreas speak Swedish and partly because it made us laugh and laugh so much. Do you know where a true friendship is born? If not, I will tell you. Laughing with each other. I am quite sure of this. Helping each other through hard times comes later; if you can laugh together, that’s the true test right there. And we totally passed that test. With all As. A PLUSES, actually.

I can't find any inside-the-passport photos. Probably because of identity theft. There are ANIMAL drawings inside.

I can’t find any inside-the-passport photos. Probably because of identity theft. There are ANIMAL drawings inside. ANIMALS!!!

Then we realized I should bring all my things with me, because I’d have to leave straight from the restaurant to the train station. Again: sigh.

THAI RESTAURANT!

We chose between three that were within walking distance. One was delivery only: RULED OUT. One was – I’m not even kidding – like a disco before 7pm? Odd. RULED OUT. That left…

Pongsri Thai!

Pongsri Thai!

It was a nice little restaurant and the food was delicious. I had something with a lot of seafood that I feel like was called “Deep Oceans” or something and Andreas had something with chicken and green curry and I was all “urgh I hate curry” but he said “you should try Thai curry, it’s different from Indian curry, you might like it” and totally let me eat some off his plate with a spoon and I DID like it so now I know I can safely eat that and THAT is exciting!

There was a man sitting behind us who was an asshat and he yelled at the waitress and then the manager because – I’m not kidding – he was charged on his bill for his child’s free soda refill, and it CLEARLY STATED it should have been free, and that was INEXCUSABLE, what were they trying to PULL, and that was embarrassing. Dude, it was like $2, right? CALM DOWN.

Then we talked and talked and talked MORE but also it was in the back of our minds that it was almost time to go. That’s the worst part of any wonderful trip, isn’t it? The whole time you’re having the best time ever, you keep thinking, “this is going to end soon” and then you are sad.

When we were done, we realized that we had a LITTLE more time so we walked over to Penn Station and almost didn’t find it because I’m terrible about such things but then we DID find it. And we had like 45 more minutes so we went to Starbucks for MORE COFFEE and also because I’d never been to Starbucks for anything but a cookie one time years ago and Andreas thought it was high time that I try only the most ubiquitous coffee in all the land. (I wasn’t the most impressed. I like Dunkin’ Donuts better.)

So we sat and we talked MORE and laughed MORE but also sad. Because twelve hours went by in a blink, no matter how many blog posts I turned it into.

Then I said, “Andreas! We didn’t get any photos of the two of us. People will think we LIED about being in the same city!”

So then this happened, and it is now the screen saver on my phone, because it’s possibly one of my favorite photos of me ever taken, because I just look so damn happy, and I’m with one of my favorite people in the whole world, who ALSO looks so happy and wonderful, and he’s someone I never thought I’d meet in real life, not in a million years. It’s just the most amazing photo. It couldn’t make me happier.

And it was taken in Starbucks. With a cellphone camera. Sometimes things just work out.

Then it was time to walk to Penn Station, which was only a few steps away from the Starbucks. So we walked over, and I gave Andreas one hug, and then said, “Nope, I’m giving you another hug” and did. And then I said I was going to go into the train station now, because I didn’t want to cry in front of him. (I have a weird thing about crying in front of people. If you’ve ever seen me cry, you know why. It’s not pretty. Plus I think it’s about as vulnerable as you can get, and I don’t like that. I know. It’s a weird thing about me. Like you’re at all surprised there’s another weird thing about me.)

Then I went into Penn Station and got on the train and rode home (and the train was SO HOT, I stripped down like a cut-rate burlesque dancer until I was down to a t-shirt and jeans, good grief) and texted Andreas and sj and tweeted all the way home and it just flew by. And I might have cried a little. Oh, shush, I cry over COMMERCIALS, if I didn’t cry over having to leave one of my favorite people after having one of the best days I’ve ever had, there’d be something wrong with me.

When I finally got home, I was the most exhausted. Also, my legs hurt for three days afterward, because that’s a lot of walking for a sedentary lady like me. (Why is it your legs never hurt WHILE you’re walking? Nope. The next morning you wake up all OW OW OW!)

Me when I got home. SO SO TIRED.

The last thing Andreas and I discussed before I left? When I was going to come to Finland. You know how I’ve been kind of jokey about it before? Well, the jokey has stopped. The plan as of now is summer 2014. Yes, that’s a bit of time from now, but a plan has been made. Andreas is in charge of finding me the best flight deal (because seriously, when I search, the flights are all like $1,100, but he finds flights for like $650, and I DO NOT KNOW HOW HE IS DOING THAT. So that’s his job.) I’ll be staying for a week or so; I’ll get to meet Andreas’ family; I’ll get to go to Finland and see Andreas’ islands and the ocean and so many wonderful exciting things. Surprisingly, Dad’s totally behind this plan; I think that’s because Andreas turned out to be not a female truck driver after all.

I’m going to Finland, you guys. Not even in a jokey “hey rich people, sponsor me a trip!” Nope. I have a good job with time off; I can afford to send myself to Finland. I have a place to stay. I have 15 months to learn some Swedish so I can talk to Andreas’ children at least SOME. I don’t want to be that weird lady who visits from America (with, let’s face it, THE BEST PRESENTS) and is unable to talk to them at all. That would be the worst.

Andreas thinks Lufthansa will be the best choice. Lufthansa here I come!

Andreas thinks Lufthansa will be the best choice. Lufthansa here I come!

Now Andreas is home safely, and presents were distributed to much glee and his family was so, so happy to see him (as of course they would be, he is ANDREAS) and I miss him already. Why are my people so far away, I ask you?

Thanks for sticking with me for Andreas and Amy take New York City week, my favorite minions! It’s been the most fun to share it all with you. I promise we’ll be back to our regular scheduled programming tomorrow (or if not tomorrow, then soon – might have something going on tomorrow night, not sure yet. I KNOW SO SECRETIVE!)

Thank you, Andreas. I knew you were amazing before I met you face-t0-face; actually being in the same place as you was just the best thing ever. Thank you for one of the best days I’ve had, and one of the best trips to my favorite city in the world I’ve ever had. You are wonderful; I am so, so lucky to know you. Thank you for being one of my best friends. Thank you.

I’m going to get on the train (totally a euphemism) now so you don’t see me cry. All aboard!

27 comments | posted in friends, happiness, New York, shopping, travel

March 7, 2013

Those were the reasons and that was New York: a day with Andreas (part four)

By lucysfootball

Whew, here we are again! Sorry for the absence yesterday, I had to review a musical that was based on Emma and was set in the late 60s in a newsroom and Emma was Dear Abby. It was surprisingly not as bad as that sentence makes it out to be. Also, Emma is one of my favorite Austens so I was predisposed to like it a little. And the actress playing Harriet was lovely.

It wasn't as good as this, though. This will always be my favorite "Emma." That was way harsh, Tai.

It wasn’t as good as this, though. This will always be my favorite “Emma.” That was way harsh, Tai.

ANYWAY, where were we? So I went to the city, met up with the glorious Andreas, we did a fancy gift exchange, had breakfast, and went to the zoo. I’d link all those posts, but I’m sleepy and you can scroll down and see them. So if you’re behind, scroll scroll scroll! You’ll want the WHOLE STORY! As it is a grand, grand tale with much glory and excitement.

So after the regular zoo, it was time to hit the CHILDREN’S Zoo. The Children’s Zoo is where you can touch things. You know I like to touch animals. (NOT IN A NAUGHTY WAY STOP THAT.) So we needed to go to the Children’s Zoo, for all the touchery.

I apologize in advance for not taking more photos in the Children’s Zoo but I was photoed out, plus also other reasons. Don’t question my reasons, that’s totally rude.

This is the entrance to the Children's Zoo plus also it's mentioned in "The Stand" so it's totally literary, yo.

This is the entrance to the Children’s Zoo plus also it’s mentioned in “The Stand” so it’s totally literary, yo.

On our way, I made Andreas stop at the squished-penny machine with me because I love those damn things and I don’t have a Central Park Zoo squished penny. The instructions on the squished-penny machine were overly intricate and confusing and poor Andreas got a penny he didn’t want before he got the one he DID want. Also, he does not appreciate that a., our quarters do not say twenty-five cents on them, and b., our money is all the same color. When I told Dad this, he said, “THAT’S WHAT ALL THE SOCIALISTS SAY!” and I asked what that had to do with the socialists and he said, “Stop playing dumb, Amy.” So I didn’t get the answer to that question.

Here is my squished penny (I’m sure these have a real name, but I don’t know what it is – souvenir penny, maybe?)

Penguins!!!!

Penguins!!!!

I don’t remember what Andreas got on his. One was something he didn’t want, like an ant or something, and one was something he DID want, but I don’t remember what. Andreas, what did you get?

Then it was time for CHILDREN’S ZOO!

Children’s Zoo was kind of a letdown, to be honest. There were – let’s see if I can remember. Goats and a llama and a bull and some sheep (which some weird man kept calling “llamas” and this made me despair for the intelligence of humans – SHEEP ARE NOT LLAMAS!) and some birds and, strangely, some goldfish. There was a weird stretchy web-thing that kids could bounce on but adults could NOT bounce on it. There was a sign and everything. It was kind of a letdown, zoo-wise.

Andreas totally got pecked by some bird and that made me laugh, and then a fun duck walked right in front of me and I said, “ooh, I wonder if I could touch this duck” and one of the zookeepers said, in a totally strident voice, “NO. It is that duck’s FEEDING TIME and he is ALLOWED to WALK wherever he WANTS and DO NOT TOUCH HIM.” Um. OK. I will not, but tone it down, Calamity Jones, it’s not like I was going to wring his neck and have me some duck l’orange for dinner, okay? Sheesh.

Then THIS happened, and listen, if one of these things pops up, you have to get your photo taken at it. YOU HAVE TO. It’s a zoo rule. A total zoo rule.

This is me as a bunny. As you can SEE, this was not meant for adults, and I am totally sticking out the side/back. Also, it was gross and kind of filthy in there. And I hate my glasses because they become sunglasses with the slightest light and it’s the worst, I look like a stoner.

Then THIS happened, mostly because I said, “please? Please? When are we going to get to do this again. PLEASE PLEASE?” and I think I wore him down.

Andreas is a bunny, too! He managed to squish himself in better back there. He’s much better at being a bunny in a children’s zoo than I am.

Then we were freezing so we decided it was time to go back to the hotel, get Andreas some warmer clothes, and go get lunch. So back to the hotel of fanciness we went!

When we went into the subway I saw the following sign, which I had to take a photo of for Dad. IT PROVES HIS POINT! I told Andreas he didn’t have to stand next to me while I was acting touristy in the subway. He walked away and then when I was done I walked over and said in a touristy voice, “HELLO TOTAL STRANGER CAN I TAKE THE SUBWAY WITH YOU SOMEWHERE?” and I think all the other boring commuters liked my little piece of performance art. It livened up their day.

ZOMG! DAD WAS RIGHT!

I told him about this statistic and he thought the sign was lying and making it lower than it really was. Why? The government. (That’s his answer for everything.) Look at that guy in red there on the sign. He’s not being safe at ALL. Why’s he leaning all out over the tracks like that? I kind of feel like if he got hit by a train, it’d be survival of the fittest, wouldn’t it? The fittest would be the people NOT leaning out over the tracks like a drunken buffoon. Also, if only 55 died, 86 lived. There are 86 people walking around who can say, “BAM MOFO! I got hit by a SUBWAY TRAIN and LIVED! I’m a GOLDEN GOD!”

Back to the hotel for warming up and donning of more layers for Andreas. He was very worried I would be too cold as I did not have enough layers but I was not THAT cold. We were walking a lot. Also I had to fix my hair because it was very windy and my hair was a MESS. That meant I had to go into Andreas’ fancy hotel bathroom and do you know what was in the shower? A BENCH MADE OF WOOD.  We’re not sure why, either. I guess so you could rest while shampooing? Or for old people? I don’t know. It was kind of an Asian-feel hotel room so it might just have been for ambiance. I don’t know about such things, my apartment is decorated with cat hair and half-torn-apart mouse toys.

Then it was time for lunch. We decided to just walk and find a place that looked promising and eat at that place. Like fancy people do. We ended up at a place that we chose because it had Korean food, but once we got inside, it also had a billion other things like paninis and coffee and fries and burgers and sandwiches and I feel like maybe that was too many things since I have trouble choosing between TWO things. Andreas had a sandwich and a little salad and some chips and I was randomly not that hungry so I had a little dish of fries with things on them like cheese and fake bacon bits. They were called FANCY FRIES. How can I not get something called Fancy Fries? I AM FANCY!!! It’s like they were MADE for me!

Roastown Coffee! It was fun and eclectic. I approve.

Roastown Coffee! It was fun and eclectic. I approve.

Also, we had MORE coffee, because we totally hadn’t had enough yet, right? AND Andreas let me have his pickles from his salad because he’s the best. “I bet you love pickles and want those, right?” he said. HOW DID HE KNOW? I hadn’t told him. He’s filled with magic, that Andreas. I DID want those pickles. And I ATE them. We sat and talked and laughed and ate for so long that people were totally waiting for our table when we left. Sorry, people.

Then it was time for…ta dah ta DAH! SHOPPING IN NEW YORK! Andreas needed to buy gifts for his people. Gifts are important. I approve.

Earlier in the day, we’d walked by one of my favorite stores in all the land. It is a store it is very hard to get men to go into with you. I didn’t even plan on going to it on this trip, because I didn’t know Andreas’ stand on such a store. I’d made BFF go into it with me when we hit New York City six years ago, and he was not amused. (Although he totally stayed the whole time, because he’s the best sport. And he loves me.)

BUT, when we walked by ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORES, and I saw it and my heart went “ooh, aah!” and guess what?

Andreas saw it, too, and said “Oh, I love that place, we’ll have to stop there when we’re shopping later.”

THIS IS WHY ANDREAS WINS NEW YORK CITY AND FRIENDSHIP!

(Fine, it’s not WHY he wins, he wins because he’s amazing and supportive and funny and kind and all superlatives, but it went pretty far with me.)

What store?

LUSH!

It is filled with soaps and bath things and lotions and perfumes and all things that make me go all girly and say squee, squee. I know, sorry to ruin your image of me being a total badass, but here’s the scoop – I love pampery things like soaps that smell good and scrubs to make me soft and perfumes that make me delicious. I know. I’m quite an enigma, don’t even try to figure me out.

OK, it is now officially hours past my bedtime, so the rest of our saga will have to wait until tomorrow. So stay tuned for: adventures in LUSH! and OTHER SHOPPING WE DID WITH MUCH GLEE! and THINGS WE SAW IN THE STREET! and DINNER! and such. I think we’ll reach an end to the tale of Amy and Andreas take New York City by storm tomorrow. Which is good because I have other things to blog about, you know! Something else exciting happened this week, and also I totally have stories on the back burner! But this story will not be stopped, no no no, we must bring it to its conclusion or wouldn’t that just be the rudest? It TOTALLY would!

27 comments | posted in animals, food, friends, happiness, New York, shopping, travel

March 5, 2013

Those were the reasons and that was New York: a day with Andreas (part three)

By lucysfootball

So first, we talked about my actual TRIP to New York City; then we talked about the meeting, and the giving of gifts (which was done with much style and panache, as two most excellent bloggers would of course be expected to do.) Today, we will continue our tale of ADVENTURE AND WONDER with:

Breakfast in New York City!

So Andreas and I left his hotel room of fanciness and walked a few blocks to a little café for breakfast. CONFESSION: I totally had a pre-breakfast breakfast before I got on the train, because remember? I got up at 3:30am. If I had not eaten some sort of snack before I got on the train, I would have gotten crabbity and headachey, and that is not how I wanted to meet Andreas, no no no.

HOWEVER, Andreas waited until I got there to eat breakfast, because, as mentioned? Perfect gentleman. Probably a perfect STARVING gentleman at this point, but still, perfect gentleman.

So we walked to breakfast and talked and talked. Most of the day, even if I’m not mentioning it? You can assume we talked and talked. There was so much talking on Saturday that I’m pretty sure the rest of the city was silent to make up for how much we were talking. So. Much. Talking. And now, I know what you’re thinking. AMY! you are thinking. It was just you talking, wasn’t it? And poor Andreas just couldn’t get a word in edgewise. NO NO CHARLIE! You are completely incorrect. We BOTH talked! Back and forth! Without any awkwardness or weirdness or those odd dead-spots that happen sometimes! Sometimes we had so much to say we would BOTH start talking and then have to laugh and say “you!” “No, you!” And it was WONDERFUL.

So then we had breakfast. There was bacon and eggs and some lackluster pancakes and a bagel and much coffee. Andreas drinks all the cappuccino and I drink all the iced coffee (decaf, because otherwise I get a., headachey, and b., way too speedy.) We drank much coffee on Saturday. There is not a better place to sit and talk over coffee than New York City, and you can’t tell me there is. I will glare at you glaringly.

Once breakfast was finished, it was time to go on our grand adventure. Well, the whole day was really a grand adventure, but we had one big fat adventure planned; one we’d planned far in advance. See, we really didn’t want to make too many plans – there’s only so much you can do with twelve hours, which at first seems like a very long time, but once you start using up your twelve hours, it disappears in a swirl of words and laughter and walking and talking and just being in the same place at the same time, you know? So we decided to see where the day took us, overall. But we made one plan; one great big plan. We researched it on the internet and knew it was the one thing we had to do.

So we went back outside. Oh, I forgot to mention: IT WAS FREEZING ON SATURDAY. And snowing on and off. It was not supposed to be freezing, but New York City tricked us. I did not dress appropriately. I thought it was supposed to be in the 40s, so I wore a spring jacket and a sweater and a t-shirt and jeans. LUCKILY, we were walking around a lot, so that kept us somewhat warm. Poor Andreas was chilly, though. Even though he had a kicky hat. You can kind of see it in the photo in the first post. Andreas really had the best hat. He looked very cosmopolitan.

So we shiveringly walked to the subway. Another amazing thing about Andreas: he’d only been in the city at this point for three days (and a bit of a fourth) but he totally had mastered the subway. I usually do all my subway research before I show up but after talking to him last week, I realized I didn’t even need to. He totally has a compass in his head. With someone like me, whose head-compass is completely broken (or might not even have been there to begin with), being in the city with someone with an excellent sense of direction is a total gift.

We popped on the subway (and even though Dad SAID if we stood too close to the edge, we would get pushed in front of the train, we did NOT, although in Dad’s defense, we did not stand too close to the edge) and after a couple of stops, we arrived at our destination.

Central Park!

After only a couple of slightly wrong turns (which were totally my fault, as there was this duck pond near the entrance? And I was all “ANDREAS! DUCKS!” and pulled him off the path to bask in the glory of ducks even though he told me ducks were not as nice as they seemed and kind of attacky toward each other, I was NOT DAUNTED, because, DUCKS! I explained to Andreas that I was the duck whisperer and one time all the ducks followed me all around when I was feeding them in like a CLOUD of ducks and he said “grumble grumble that’s because you had FOOD” but mostly he was just charmed and the grumbling was for show because if you get me around animals I am CHARMING, yo) and then we realized that detour for the ducks led us way off-course. But with a little map-peeping, we got back on track. And where were we heading?

THE CENTRAL PARK ZOO!!!!

(That gets multiple exclamation points.)

Andreas and I love animals. And seeing them. We discussed the Bronx Zoo, but that one’s huge, and would take longer than we had. I’d been to the Central Park Zoo before, and it was a nice little zoo, and I wanted nothing more than to see the Central Park Zoo with Andreas.

To the zoo we went!

First, since it was SO COLD, we decided to go into the Tropical House. In the Tropical House, there are monkeys, but I like Andreas enough to brave monkeys for him.

Also? For you guys? I took a ton of photos.

In the Tropical House, there are many things, like birds and reptiles (not just monkeys.) This is a terrible picture of one of the birds. My camera was being kind of a jerk. But trust me that this bird had very funny feathers around its head and neck like a boa, and it made me laugh and laugh.

This is a terrible photo of those monkeys that look like little old men, like I saw when I was in Florida with Dad. I think they are called Cotton-Topped Tamarins. Andreas was not freaked out by the monkeys that looked like little old men but I mostly hid behind his jacket in case they decided to eat my face somehow through the glass like that monkey in Monkey Shines.

This is a frog. I love frogs. They’re one of my favorite things. This frog looks like he’s brooding; that’s because, randomly, he was in a tank with a snake. I’d be brooding, too.

This frog was hiding. He also looked like he was made of plastic, but he was really real. Again, he was in a tank with a snake, which I find just bizarre. That’s like renting out an apartment to a human, but inside, SURPRISE!, is a TIGER! He is your ROOMMATE now!

This one is for HEATHER!

Amy & Andreas, NYC 2013 005

It was the only tortoise we saw all day. He was kind of intrepid.

I took a photo of the sign so I would remember what he was so I could tell her. TEXAS tortoise, Heather! It’s like Texas toast, only it’s a tortoise, so you cannot eat it! So, then…nothing like Texas toast.

LEMURS! They were far away and behind glass, and also at this point, we were getting too hot. The Tropical House doesn’t dick around with the heat, yo. This photo is for friend C., as lemurs are her favorites.

This is my favorite Tropical House photo. It is Andreas marveling at a bird who landed really close to us, and the bird looks bored and above it all and SO OVER ALL OF THIS and a tad bit snooty. Also, you can see Andreas’ charming hat.

After the Tropical House, I was happy to get outside, because we went from TOO COLD to TOO HOT. New York City was not being kind to us, temperature-wise, this weekend. I felt like I was going through early menopause.

Next were the outdoor exhibits, at which we promptly got too cold. Oh, New York City, you are the coldest.

First: SNOW LEOPARD! We got so excited. Who doesn’t want to see a snow leopard?

Look really hard. Can you see it? Can you? Look harder. LOOK HARDER.

I’m just screwing with you. It wasn’t there. We went around the corner and it WAS there but then it jumped up super-high and we couldn’t even take any photos of it. It was very pretty, though, and had a very long tail. Here, I found a photo on the interwebs of it for you.

They had educational things all over and this one kind of horrified me so I told Andreas I was going to start taking photos of things that were NOT FOR CHILDREN and that made him laugh.

This says (because I couldn’t get it all in the shot) “The challenges of being a snow leopard” and had such cheery things as “You’re shot by a poacher” so when we couldn’t find that snow leopard I asked Andreas if he thought it got shot by a poacher and he said, “Perhaps.”

Next was a polar bear. I thought he was super-depressed because he kept looking up, sighing, and then going back to this pose:

But Andreas said he was just sleepy. Also, look at those PAWS! Polar bears could totally swat the hell out of you. Whenever I see a polar bear I think of Iorek Byrnison. Aw, Iorek, my favorite.

Then this was outside the polar bear enclosure and I had to continue my “taking photos of things that are children-inappropriate” game.

Dead bloody seal ARGH! Goodness gracious this is graphic.

Do you know what’s next? Do you do you DO YOU?

PENGUINS AND SEABIRDS, BABY!!!

I’m glad this was near the end of the zoo because it was like saving the best for last. I WAS SO EXCITED! All through the zoo I kept saying “Andreas! Is it time for penguins yet? How about NOW. Is it time for penguins NOW?” And now it WAS time for penguins! AND SEABIRDS!

I told you guys there might be penguins in New York City. THAT WAS LIKE A LITTLE CLUE!

Andreas took this one and sent it to me. Andreas, I’m stealing your photo! This made us laugh because there was a seagull in with the penguins, like he snuck in there all “Oh, don’t pay any attention to ME! I’m a penguin, la la laaaa!” Also, the seagull made me laugh because it made me think of the “mine? Mine? Mine?” seagulls from Finding Nemo, which I love.

More penguins! I may have gone a little photo-happy in the penguin-room.

A penguin-room story: Andreas went across the room to read up on the penguins. When he was gone, the man behind me said “Why do you think those penguins have those things on their wings?” (They have bands on their wings; I assume it’s so the zoo employees and vets can tell them apart, probably?) He then went on to muse, “Maybe to keep them from flying away.” I whipped my head around to see if he was being facetious. He was not. Not even a little bit. HE THOUGHT IT WAS TO KEEP THE PENGUINS FROM FLYING AWAY. And he was a GROWN MAN. When I told Andreas this (when we were outside, so the guy wouldn’t know I was mocking him) Andreas nodded sagely and said “Yes. Penguins are known for that. Flying.”

This penguin was the leader of the room. He waddled all around and seemed to be telling the other penguins to straighten up and (NO NOT FLY, YOU WEIRDO!) stand right. Then that little penguin in front of him was his minion, and he’d waddle all around in back of him wherever he went. Andreas totally did a minion-voice for that penguin that made me laugh and laugh. “How’m I doing, boss? Am I doing a good job, boss?” Hee! Win!

This is another photo of the leader of the pack. I liked him. He did not brook any nonsense, this penguin!

I couldn’t take photos of the penguins swimming. Andreas took a video. Maybe he’ll blog about his trip at some point and we can see it? WE CAN HOPE! My favorite part of the swimming was that when they were done, they would POP out of the water like little feathery missiles, land on their feet, and shake themselves off like they hadn’t just been penguin-projectiles. I love you, penguins!

Then this happened, and it was creepy yet awesome:

All the penguins in one corner were turned with their backs to the glass. So you know what that reminded me of, right?

The end of the Blair Witch Project ZOMG!!! I’m pretty sure those penguins were waiting for the Blair Witch to come and steal their souls. Or that leader-penguin maybe put them in a time-out for general naughtiness.

OK, this is SO SO LONG and I have to go to bed. You know what that means, right? TO BE CONTINUED! That’s right. We’re not even done. This is the end of the REGULAR zoo, but don’t even think that’s all of the zoo. There’s more zoo to be discussed. And then lunch, and dinner, and ONE MORE ADVENTURE. And then having to leave, which was the saddest so I don’t want to talk about that right now.

Tomorrow there will be no post – I have to review a show tonight so won’t be home to write – but the rest of the week seems non-eventful, so be ready for part four (and – dare I say it? – possibly part five?) Thursday and maybe Friday.

So stay tuned, my dearest darlings! We are only at this point about halfway through our day! SO MUCH MORE TO DISCUSS!

34 comments | posted in animals, friends, happiness, New York, travel

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