I am a crotchety old woman in a coming-up-on-middle-aged-woman’s body. I like semi-colons, the seagulls in Finding Nemo, and books both with and without pictures. I do not like raisins.

Ugh, FINE, you want a real bio? Like a grownup would do? The things we do for love. FINE.

All your questions are mostly answered in the “Frequently Asked Questions” tab. No, seriously. Click on over. I mean it.

My real name is Amy. No, I don’t like it much, either.

I live in the Capital District of New York; I have lived in various parts of New York most of my life, except for a brief period of time when I did not. I love where I live. It’s absolutely the perfect place for me.

I have three jobs and also do various freelancing/artsy stuff here and there. Yes, you are correct in wondering where I find the time. The time for what? Well. Anything, really. (I work at a mortgage company; I work at an answering service; I write theater reviews for one of our local newspapers.)

I write here, and also elsewhere. Click on the “other places to read me” tab and see all the nice places you can find my work.

I wrote a book once. I know! Fancy as hell. Click on the “Book” tab for all that information. Someday maybe I’ll write another one, in all my copious free time.

I have a rescued shelter cat who goes by Dumbcat here on the blog because he’s in Witness Protection and if anyone found out his real name he’d be iced by the mob. Dumbcat is my most favorite furry friend and makes me laugh on a daily basis, and is also the most pretty, if not the most intelligent.

If you would like to follow me on other social media type places, you are welcome to do so. I’m hit-and-miss about appearing there and/or updating there lately, for various reasons. Click on the big old photo of Dumbcat off to the right over there; it’ll open up my About.me page, and you can follow wherever you’d like. Don’t follow me in real life, though, I’ll smack you with my big purse or gouge you with my keys or something. I totally took self-defense in high school when they made us do that. I know you’re supposed to yell “fire” and not “help.” Don’t mess with me, yo.

If you feel you must email me about something, feel free. My email address is lucysfootball at gmail dot com, because I got here early enough no one had that address yet. I win internetting. I do not appreciate weirdo emails like “here’s my swimsuit area” or “I wrote a book about disco wearwolfes, want to read it?” or “I will send you one free pair of sunglasses if you blog about our sunglasses once a week for a year, Lucy!” so don’t even bother.

I am happy to guest-post, if it’s about a cool topic I think I might want to write about. I’m not scary (most of the time.) Hit me up. Let’s discuss.

If you follow me, please, PLEASE, feel free to comment. Otherwise, I won’t know you’re a real human, because the spam followers here on WordPress have become legion. If you’re a real human, and you comment, I will guarantee you I will check out your blog. I can’t guarantee you I will become a regular reader or follower – time’s limited, and I have this crazy old life with not enough hours in the day – but I will check it out. But if you don’t comment? I will automatically (sadly, because of the spammers, and WordPress’ lack of policing) assume you’re spammy. I apologize for this.

I love theater and books and animals and traveling and my friends and things that are awesome. I do not like asshattery, bullying, things that taste like watermelon (including watermelon) or swarms of gnats that come out of nowhere and then they’re all in your eye and mouth area. Isn’t that just the worst?

Thank you for reading my blog. You have a pretty smile and I like your shiny hair.

75 responses to “About

Thank you for commenting! I love your comments and I love you. No, not YOU. Yes, you. If you leave a comment full of jackassery, I'm either deleting or publicly mocking that sucker - so, stop, think, and don't be a douchecanoe. Otherwise, gold star right at the top of your paper! Good job! Kisses!

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