I’ll show YOU, Boreas!

Howdy! I hope you all had the best of Thanksgiving weekends. Well, those of you that do such things. Meaning, I suppose, MERKANS. The rest of you didn’t do Thanksgiving this weekend, right? Right.

Here we are back in the real world. Well, mostly that means a month of buying anything that isn’t tied down in order to wrap it in pretty paper and gift it to others. As one does in December. I am…oh, I don’t know, about 40% done with Christmas shopping? Maybe? I should be further along but sometimes you have to wait for paychecks to come in. However! Christmas cards are done, and as soon as I’m done writing this, Christmas DECORATING will be done. Baby steps, ladies and gentlemen, baby steps.

Let’s talk about bad decision-making!

Sometimes, you make poor decisions. No, not YOU, specifically, but yes, probably you. I mean, I don’t know too many people who haven’t made a poor decision now and then in their lives.

Me? I make those decisions on the regular. Hilariously, the good decisions I make are usually mistakes. The bad decisions are the ones I agonize over and finally decide “let’s do this” and then BAM! BAD DECISION HITS YOU UPSIDE THE HEAD YO!

I also have the added problem of decision-making while under the influence of stubbornness. I am a stubborn little thing. If someone tells me what to do, I immediately want to do the opposite. I don’t ALWAYS do the opposite – I can usually talk myself out of it – but sometimes my stubborn gene sets in and I’m all “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, ‘THE MAN!’” and then look out, world, I am not using any sort of common sense to navigate. Like, none. At all.

At the beginning of November, I told my mom, “Wouldn’t it be fun to come home for Thanksgiving and surprise Dad?” We decided it WOULD be fun. So we all secretly planned it all month. And then a week before Thanksgiving WINTER STORM BOREAS raised its evil head.

O NO BOREAS NOOOOO!

O NO BOREAS NOOOOO!

WINTER STORM BOREAS (because we name our winter storms now) was supposed to be like the WORST THING EVER and dump like 18″ of snow on my whole route home Wednesday night. And at first I was all, “eh, I’ll just not go.” But then my mom started telling me I COULDN’T go. “YOU WILL DIE!” said Mom. And Stubborn Amy kicked in. STUPID BOREAS! STUPID BEING TOLD I COULD NOT GO! STUPID RUINING OF THANKSGIVING! STUPID RUINING OF SURPRISING! DOWN! WITH! THE! MAN!

So when the weather reports started saying the storm wasn’t as bad as predicted, I was all, “I AM GOING SCREW THIS” and got in the car right after work and took off. People said things like “are you sure?” and “um…Boreas?” and “you will die, maybe?” and “maybe you should text me when you get there? IF you get there?” and I was all “I WILL BE FINE I AM PLATINUM!”

It was raining here. I could handle rain. Half an hour into the drive, traffic ground to a halt. We started seeing signs that said “right and middle lanes closed due to accident.” We all sloooowly merged over. Come to find out two tractor trailers had not only hit one another, they’d tipped over, spilling their contents all over the place. It was quite nervous-making.

But I sallied forth! I WAS SALLYING!

The night started to get colder. The winds picked up. This led to frozen roads and the car getting PUSHED to ONE SIDE. The winds were that bad. So I had to use BOTH hands on the wheel and pay super-close attention. I started thinking, “this might not have been the best idea.” But! Stubborn! Sallying, dammit, SO MUCH SALLYING!

I stopped at the rest stop I always stop at and did some deep breathing. Whew. At that rest stop, you have about an hour, an hour and fifteen minutes, until you reach my parents’ house. I could do this.

Went in. Rest-stopped. Came out. And it was snowing like hell. A woman was crying outside the door. “I DON’T WANT TO DRIVE IN THIS ANYMORE,” said the crying woman. A frat boy fell down in the parking lot because so icy.

Effffff.

So what does one do? Get back on the slippery windy highway and drive back to Albany where the weather was better, but drive through all that again? Or keep on a’truckin’ (or car-in’, I guess) and just deal with what was coming?

Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn.

I kept going.

The roads got worse as I drove. At least on the highway you could see the lines. Nothing seemed to have been plowed once you left the highway; the roads were all packed-down ice and snow and slick. Slick, slick, SLICK. And it was snowing hard enough that I couldn’t see.

I’d told Mom I’d be home by 8; that gave me an extra hour in case of traffic or weather.

8 came and went. I couldn’t call anyone; it was too slippery to not pay attention to the roads, and I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.

I almost went off the road, all-told, 4 times. I cussed (at the weather, at myself, at other drivers) too many times to count. My check engine light randomly came on. I couldn’t change my playlist so I listened to the same 20 songs over and over and OVER. (Luckily, I loved them, so I was ok with that. And now I know ALL THE WORDS.) I said, “THIS WAS A VERY STUPID DECISION!” repeatedly.

But I kept driving.

And I finally pulled into my parents’ driveway at 8:40pm. Five straight hours after I’d left. My mom came to the door and looked FRANTIC. My dad came, looking confused, saw me, got BIG HUGE SURPRISED EYES, and then opened the door. I thought he would yell out, “what are you doing here?” and it would be all a happy surprise but he ACTUALLY yelled “THIS IS NOT FUNNY! NOT FUNNY AT ALL!” and then SHUT THE DOOR ON ME! He did not even help me bring in my things in all the snow. So I went in with all my things and was all “OLD MAN I AM SURPRISING YOU FOR THANKSGIVING COME GIVE ME A HUG” and he stomped in all “BOREAS SO STUPID WHAT WERE YOU THINKING” and then gave me a hug and said “it is nice to see you” very quietly so I won Thanksgiving.

This is getting hellaciously long, so I will rush through the rest. We had a lovely Thanksgiving, including the following things:

  • napping
  • sleeping in
  • hanging with The Nephew
  • eating our weight in Thanksgiving foods
  • watching Kill Bill 2 with Dad and having to explain the plot to him and giggling
  • visiting my grandmother
  • helping my dad figure out how to turn his new cell phone onto vibrate
  • ordering things for Dad on Amazon (“what is this PRIME? No SHIPPING? This is AMAZING!”)
  • rolling my eyes until they almost ruptured at the constant stream of Fox News that happens in that house
  • looking at eleventy-billion photos of Mom’s trip to Rome (“AMY! The statues were NUDE! Can you IMAGINE?”)
ZOMG! COVER YOUR EYES!

ZOMG! COVER YOUR EYES!

Then on Friday morning, after my nephew cheerfully greeted my sleepy-eyed self with “Aunt Amy! You are awake! Do you want to race?” (I did not want to race, but I totally watched HIM race), I packed up leftovers and the car and Dad filled it with gas and wiper fluid and gave me many pretend-gruff hugs and off I went. And luckily the drive home was uneventful (except Dad didn’t close the hood all the way, and I didn’t realize that until a couple hours into the drive, so Dad was all, “YOU! COULD! HAVE! DIED!” but I didn’t die. Obviously.)

So: yep. Very, very stupid stubborn idea. If I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t. That was a terrible drive. I’m too old for that shit. But, overall: a very, very good Thanksgiving. Got to spend it with my family, for the first time in a decade; got to read with The Nephew; got to hang out with my dad; got to eat so much delicious food. NOM.

But if I try to do something ridiculous like that again, please slap me upside the head and tell my stupid, stubborn self that it’s better to be alone on the holiday and alive than dead on the side of the road trying to get some turkey and family hangtime. Good grief.

OK, not as stupid as this...which made me cackle like a moron...but still pretty stupid.

OK, not as stupid as this…which made me cackle like a moron…but still pretty stupid.

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About lucysfootball

I'm not the girl with the most cake. Someday. SOMEDAY. View all posts by lucysfootball

23 responses to “I’ll show YOU, Boreas!

  • mfennvt

    Yeah, but you didn’t die! You owned Boreas! Just make a longer playlist next time and you’ll be good. :)

    • lucysfootball

      I had a longer playlist, but I started out with a short one (I’d just downloaded some new music) and by the time I got going I couldn’t change it. Luckily, it was all very good stuff, so I was happy. And now I know it backwards and forwards. That’s what 5 straight hours of the same 21 songs over and over will do to you!

  • Andreas Heinakroon

    When you told me you almost slipped off the road four times, it made me very frowny. Don’t do that again please? I was worried for you. I want you to stick around for a very long time, OK?

    • lucysfootball

      By the way, you totally won Dad over with the worrying. “That communist, he’s alright, he worries about you,” said Dad. (ANDREAS IS NOT A COMMUNIST, PEOPLE OF THE BLOG, DAD JUST CALLS HIM THAT!)

      I won’t. I promise. No, sincerely. That was the last time I drive when there’s a storm warning, unless there’s been some sort of emergency and I HAVE to get somewhere…and let’s knock on wood that never happens, because that’s scary even thinking about it.

      (And I want you to stick around a long time too, mister. I can’t even imagine my life without you here!)

      • Andreas Heinakroon

        No, I’m not a communist, even though I guess that’s a valid lifestyle choice. Don’t think I’m any kind of -ist anymore, I’ve sort of lost faith in human political systems.

        I do worry, it’s true, so I’m glad to hear you will try to avoid journeys like this in the future. Let’s all stick around for a really long time.

        • lucysfootball

          A VERY LONG TIME! I’d say forever, but I’d assume at some point we’re going to get weary. Well, wearier. We’re already pretty weary.

          What kind of -ist am I? Does a hippie liberal count as an -ist?

  • summerstommy2

    I so enjoyed this Amy, you are one stubborn lady. Thankfully, depending on how you see it, we don’t have weather like you where i live. We still have to drive long distances to get anywhere bit its usually fine or wet never any snow. So admire your resolve and determination to make it home for Thanksgiving, which we don’t have either. Blogging has introduced me to so make experiences we don’t enjoy in this country. We must appear quite dull to you. We spell differently, we play different sports and we have an odd accent compared to yours. Thankfully we use the same words, Cobber, most of the time. Enjoyed it again. Thanks.

    • lucysfootball

      Dull? No no no! You have EXCELLENT accents and you have kookaburras and kangaroos and the outback! I have always wanted to visit Australia. It’s high on my list of places to go on an adventure someday. You live in a MOST excellent place!

  • Charleen

    Ugh, we’re still doing the naming thing? Are we at least being more selective this year in which storms get names? Because last year some of those so-called storms were not name-worthy at all. Come on, guys. It’s winter. It snows sometimes. It’s not always a big thing.

    *sigh*

    I made a similar foolhardy decision back when I was a teenager in love. My boyfriend and I went to different colleges, and neither of us had cars, so we really only got to see each other when we were both home for the weekend. Well, his freshman year, we’d planned that this one weekend I’d come home from my school (which was only about an hour away), borrow my mom’s car, and drive down to his school (which was about three hours away) to visit for the weekend. Cue big winter storm.

    It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, because I didn’t really get into the blizzard until what’s usually about 45 minutes away from the school. But that 45 minutes turned into something like 2 hours. The highway was essentially a single lane moving about 30mph. If there were plows out, the snow was staying ahead of them, so all the drivers crazy enough to be out were pretty much just driving in each others tire tracks. Occasionally some impatient yahoo decided to use the left lane and it totally freaked me out.

    Anyway… yeah. Coming up on eleven years later and I’ve never driven in anything worse than that. On the other hand, we’re married now, so it’s not like I made the journey for some jerk.

    • lucysfootball

      I noticed online they’ve PRE-named storms. They’ve got alphabetical names all picked out for the whole winter. I think this is all just something to give the weathermen something to do, honestly. I mean, tropical storms are few and far between, so they were like, “LET’S NAME BLIZZARDS! HA HA!”

      I love that story. I love it the most because of the “and then I married him” twist at the end. It’s very “Jane Eyre”-esque. I heartily approve.

      I was stuck in one of those in college, too – my roommate and I decided we HAD to be back in our apartment for New Year’s, so we left even though there were storm warnings everywhere. It was a 5 hour drive and it took us 8, and we were so scared we didn’t even talk for most of it – we just spoke very quietly, saying things like “I think you’re getting close to the guard rail over here” and “I see taillights up there, I think” and we were PETRIFIED. We got to our apartment and just collapsed in the living room in shock we hadn’t gone off the road. This trip wasn’t that bad. I don’t know if ANY trip will EVER be that bad.

  • earthandink

    I just want to know if you put water and blankets and socks in your car. (I’m guessing no.)

    I’m glad you’re okay and I knew (knew!) your dad was going to react that way because he loves you to the moon and back. So much that even an old, hippie liberal like myself (well, not that hippie really) adores him second hand. He is a good dad. You won the dad and mom lottery. And the B-storm.

    • lucysfootball

      Well, I KIND of did. I had water to drink, I had a blanket in the trunk, and I was WEARING socks (and had boots in the front seat with me, just in case.) Does that count?

      It’s pretty hard not to love Dad. He’s gruff, but he’s kind of the best. Even though we’re polar opposites politically, he’s still my favorite!

  • Heather

    Heh. My parents were supposed to drive here on Wednesday, but the snow and ice storm we got made them push their plans back a day. They drove here in nice, sunshiney weather on Thursday.

    DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN, AMY.

    • lucysfootball

      That really would have been the smart move, waiting until the sun came up Thursday morning and leaving then. But – SO STUBBORN. Seriously, you know how there’s anger management? I need stubborn management. It’s going to get me in trouble someday.

      I won’t do it again. Promise.

      (I’m so glad you got to spend Thanksgiving with your parents! I hope you had the best time!)

  • Samantha

    Holy crap, there’s no way. I’m so glad you made it there safely! That sounds so incredibly scary, especially for someone who’s never driven in snow (and hardly ever HAS snow where she lives. Like I’m pretty sure if it snows up on the mountain this year where I live I’m not driving to work. Too many curves with possible black ice. I don’t even own chains.)

    BUT I’m glad you had a great Thanksgiving despite the scary drive. Did you have chains/snow traction things with you?

    • lucysfootball

      I’m not the WORST in snow, but people like my dad or brother are better. They see it like a challenge. They actually LIKE to slide around. Urgh.

      Nope, no chains or anything to help if I got stuck. I know. I’m the worst. I DO have a AAA membership, though. That’s just about as good, right?

      • Samantha

        Only if you have cell phone service. Then curl up in a ball and cry. Emergency supplies at least….?

        I just found out that I might have snow at my house by the end of the week. O_O I don’t know what to do with this! I’m UNPREPARED! :(

        • lucysfootball

          I had some leftover Halloween chocolate and half a bottle of water and some Tic Tacs. Are those emergency supplies? They’re totally not, are they?

          Eek! If you have snow, BE CAREFUL!

          • Samantha

            I will! At this point, it looks like I won’t have snow. Which makes me sad, because if it had, I would have taken a picture of my front yard, sent it to my boss, and stayed home. :P I don’t know how to drive in it, and there’s too many twisty roads to risk it.

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