We’re going to talk about politics today. And lady-bits. If you’re so tired of politics already and it’s only June, you can check out for the day. I won’t hold it against you. Also, you might be thinking, “I’m over politics, but I sure do like lady-bits!” Well, we’re not talking about them in a sexy way, sorry, you guys. Probably just about the least sexy way possible. I know. I’m full of disappointment today.
See, the thing is, I’m all heated up, so you know where you go when you’re all heated up, right? That’s right. The interwebs. And here’s my little corner of the interwebs. So I’m going to say my piece. About politics. And lady-bits. While I still can, because the way things are going? Pretty soon I’m going to get slapped with a damn gag-order where I can’t talk about my own cooch.
You all probably know about this by now, right? Or, maybe not. So let’s talk about this. In the Michigan House of Representatives on Wednesday, “a bill requiring doctors to ensure women aren’t coerced into ending their pregnancies” was being discussed.
Now, whoa, Nelly, let’s take a minute here. The bill is requiring doctors to – what – talk to their patients to be sure they really, really, REALLY want that abortion? If a patient comes into a doctor’s office and says they’d like an abortion, which, no matter what your politics are, is not an easy choice for the woman, she would have to sit there and listen to a talk from her doctor about does she really want it? Is she sure? Really sure? Really, really sure? No takebacksies? Oh, eff that, I can’t imagine that’s a good idea for either the doctors or the women involved.
Democratic Representative Lisa Brown spoke up against the bill. She said the following (well, not all non-sequitury – she had a whole speech, of course): “I’m flattered you’re all so concerned about my vagina. But no means no.” Representive Barb Byrum also spoke against the bill, saying that if the bill passed, she would like to see the same rule in effect for men considering a vasectomy.
The following day, the bill was undergoing continued discussion. And Byrum and Brown, who planned to continue speaking out against a bill they didn’t believe in, were informed they would not be allowed to speak.
Why? Because what they’d said the day before lacked decorum and was disgraceful. References to vaginas and vasectomies were not welcome on the floor of the House of Representatives, per Republican Floor Leader Jim Stamas. What if a child were to hear that? All those children just running willy-nilly around the House of Representatives of Michigan? Naughty. NAUGHTY. Also, Brown saying “no means no” might equate the abortion legislation on the floor in people’s minds to rape, and Stamas thought that was inappropriate. So he put a gag order on the two women with their filthy, filthy mouths.
(The bill passed, by the way. 70-39. It still has to pass the Senate in order to be made into law, and that vote won’t be until fall.)
Stamas lifted the gag order after the bill passed the House. I’m sure Brown and Byrum were so relieved.
Brown didn’t stand up in front of the House of Representatives and say cunt. She didn’t stand up in front of the House of Representatives and go the other route, either, and be cutesy about it, and call it her hoo-ha or her va-jay-jay or something. She called it by its medical name. Its correct name. A vagina.
And Byrum – what was Byrum’s offense? Oh, well, Byrum stood in front of her colleagues and dared imply that the knife should cut both ways. Pun intended. And said “vasectomy.” Ooh! WINCE! Not ma boyz! Don’t talk about snippin’ ma boyz, ya evil liberal harpy!
If you are not comfortable with the medical term for it, you don’t get to make laws telling me what I can do with it. (Well, you shouldn’t be able to make laws telling me what I can do with it anyway, but apparently, that’s not a big deal. Because these laws are EVERYWHERE lately.) If you don’t like what someone is saying, you don’t get to childishly put them in a time-out. Why is the House of Representatives of one of our states being run like a cross between kindergarten and a dictatorship? It’s a kindertatorship!
And who the hell is this Stamas? He’s a stompy little baby who somehow got in charge of the House and wields his power like a club. I disagree! We’re not going to DISCUSS it, though. I’m going to GAG you. That’s how we deal with disagreements. A child. A petulant child. WHO RUNS THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES OF AN ENTIRE STATE. Are you petrified by this? I am. Utterly petrified.
Now, Fox News and their ilk are quick to say there’s no war on women. That it’s something invented by liberals to get women to vote Obama back into office in November. My father is one of these people. The biggest fight we’ve gotten into recently – screaming, SCREAMING at one another, even when I told him I didn’t want to discuss it with him because I knew what the outcome would be – was because Fox News told him there was no war on women, so when he started going on and on and ON about how there was no war on women, I said a few times, “You really don’t want to get me started on this” and “Please stop, you’re not going to like what I have to say about this” and such, until I finally exploded into a ball of righteous fury about the whole thing.
Don’t tell me there’s no war on women when Virginia’s got the new transvaginal ultrasound law on the books; Planned Parenthood funding is getting cut left and right; the definition of rape victims in Georgia is in the process of being changed (from “victims” to “accusers”); a bill was proposed in South Dakota to make it legal to kill abortion providers - do I need to go on? Are all of these things imaginary? Are they all invented by the liberal media? Because I’m pretty sure they exist. It’d be quite an impressive feat, if all of these links I just found were imaginary.
Here, this helps a little. Stupid Comedy Central won’t let me put in the video, so you have to be clicky, but here, here’s Jon Stewart’s take on Fox News’s disavowal of the War on Women. There are hysterical pictures of vaginas, if that sells you on the clicking or anything. Don’t worry, it’s SFW. Well, fairly. Fairly SFW. Kind of. A little.
Before my head explodes – here. Here’s the thing. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, probably until you want to smack me with something like a magazine or maybe a shoe. There’s a war on women, because men are scared of us. If we all banded together and we all worked as a group – we could vote these assholes out of office. We could get people in there with our best intentions in mind. We could stop these laws that are governing our bodies and take control of what we do with our OWN bodies. Because we are adults. Who should be able to control what we do with our bodies, which are really the only thing that truly belong to us on this entire earth. But not if the politicians currently in office have a say in the matter. They want to control everything about us – our bodies, what doctors we see, what those doctors are allowed to do to us and what they’re not, how we’re allowed to refer to ourselves if we’re attacked, how much money we make at the jobs we do, what jobs we can do and what jobs we can’t, what clubs we can join, where we can go and where we can’t. Can you imagine if the tables were turned and these things were happening to men? No, you can’t. Because they wouldn’t happen to men. Does that make me sound like a man-hating bitch, like Fox News would have you believe I am? Nope. No problem with men. Like them a lot. Some of the people I love most in the world are men, actually. However, the other half of the people I love most in the world (myself included) have – I’m going to say it! – VAGINAS.
There’s a war on women. And it’s INFURIATING me. What’s infuriating me more is that people don’t think it’s real. No, not Fox News. Of course they know it’s real. That’s why they’re telling people it’s not. But other people. People who are going to vote come November. They think it’s all an urban legend, like the gang that follows you home when you flash your lights at them to be helpful, or email chain letters that promise you good luck.
We need to get politicians in office who realize women’s rights should be the same as men’s – that we are all PEOPLE. And we all deserve the SAME rights. PEOPLE’S rights. HUMAN rights.
I love my Merka. So much. But it worries me. A lot. And embarrasses me, sometimes. And that makes me so sad.
OK. Enough head-exploding. I hope you had a happy weekend; I went to the teahouse and had a happy breakfast and blogged about it over at Ken’s place. Here you go. You get two for one today. (I promise that one’s less politicky and vagina-y and more cheerful.) Happy Monday, all. Also, vagina vagina vagina, while I still can.
(Title’s from Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues. Which Lisa Brown will be performing in soon on the steps of the Michigan state capitol. How awesome is THAT? Out of bad things come good, sometimes. Per Eve Ensler: “Censoring a woman for saying a word that is a body part that 51% of their constituents have is a repression that we have not and should not ever witness in this country.”)